Under ordinary circumstances, Penny might have forgotten all about Sheldon's idea. The problem was that he was no longer the man she thought she knew. He had shown her an unforeseen capacity for passion that turned her world upside down. She had known him for years, and yet having his brilliant, intent focus directed on her was a bit unnerving. If she could remember that night, if she knew why she said yes, then maybe she would know if they could possibly make it work.

Before she took such a drastic step, she called up Bernie and asked if they could meet for drinks. She felt slightly guilty excluding Amy, but she suspected Amy might still have feelings for Sheldon. After all, he was the first guy to ever pay attention to her… her first friend even, which Penny found incredibly sad. She vowed to herself that she would take Amy out shopping later to make up for it.

Bernadette was naturally curious about Penny's relationship with Sheldon. She listened with a polite but puzzled expression on her face as Penny gave her the heavily edited version of how they got together.

"We've been dating for maybe a month," Penny said, idly stirring her cosmopolitan. "Things are going like you'd expect, I guess. I mean, we kind of hang out like we always did, except now it's usually just the two of us… and there's kissing," she added as her cheeks flushed pink.

"Yeah, from what I saw between the two of you the night Howie proposed, there's some serious sparks flying," Bernie grinned. "So have you… you know?"

Penny blushed again but shook her head. "Not yet." It wasn't completely a lie if she couldn't remember it, right? That reminded her why she wanted her friend's advice, though. She leaned closer. "The thing is… I was kind of tipsy when he asked me… you know, to be his girlfriend. I don't really remember it, and it bothers me. Do you think it would be a good idea for me to see someone about it?"

"You mean you blacked out?" Bernie frowned. "Not a very good way to start a relationship, if you ask me. But you're together now, and you wouldn't be with him if you didn't want to."

"I know. I just wish I remembered. I was thinking about seeing a hypnotherapist to see if I could get some of those memories back."

Bernie's eyebrows rose. "He must really mean a lot to you if you're so anxious to remember how he asked you out."

Penny fiddled with her drink again. "Yeah, I guess so," she answered. She felt terrible for deceiving her best friend, but she would rather have Bernie think she was crazy over Sheldon that confess that they were secretly married.

The next day, she went online and found three therapists in the area who specialized in "guided meditation" or "therapeutic imagery", which she guessed sounded more legit than hypnotherapy. She really didn't care what they called it; she had once visited a psychic regularly in the hopes it might help her anemic acting career. After calling all three, she made an appointment with the one with the soonest available opening.

She still couldn't quell her nervousness. What if she had married Sheldon for a stupid reason? What would it mean for their relationship? Bernie and Sheldon both seemed to think that it was more important that they were together now, but she needed to know why he had proposed-and why she accepted.

The therapist was a woman only slightly older than Penny herself, with sharp features and masses of chestnut curls. She introduced herself as Julie. "Were you referred to me by another therapist?" she asked.

"Uh, no. I just need to remember something that happened to me."

"Tell me what you do remember," Julie prompted.

So Penny began talking about the trip to Vegas and how she dragged Sheldon away because she was bored. Julie listened attentively as she explained how she ended up kissing Sheldon. "Everything's fuzzy after that. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in bed with him."

"Do you believe something happened without your consent?" Julie asked.

Penny stared at her. "What? No, nothing like that. You see, we, uh… we got married that night. But you see, this guy, I've known him for years, and he's never been interested in sex or dating before. Now he wants to stay married, and he's acting like a boyfriend, which is just so weird. I don't really know what to think. I want to remember the rest of that night because I want to know why he proposed and why I wanted to marry him."

"Hmm… therapeutic imagery might help you retrieve those memories, but there's no guarantees. I think it would be helpful if we explored what was going on in your life at the time before we try hypnotherapy. Would that be all right with you?"

"Yeah, I guess," she replied hesitantly.

"So tell me more about your friends and why you decided to spend a weekend away with them."

Penny leaned back, eyes fixed on the floor. "Our excuse for going to Vegas was supposed to be to help Raj get over his latest breakup, but I guess we all had our own reasons for going…"

She left the therapist's office feeling somewhat drained. Talking with Julie had brought up a lot of emotions that she usually preferred not to think about, like how Priya made her feel inferior, and how that attitude made her question if dumping Leonard has been a bad decision. Now she was scared that she'd said yes to Sheldon just to feel better about herself, the way buying a new pair of shoes often did.

Sheldon dragged his hands over the rough texture of his plaid wool slacks. It didn't help much; his palms were still damp. Once he had confessed to his friends that he wished Penny to be his wife, he had started researching how to make someone fall in love. Most of the sources he consulted made it clear that physical touch was an important component of a romantic relationship. He had kissed Penny for the first time - or at least, the first time he was sober and could remember it - without agonizing over his decision. But he was well aware that she was used to more. In fact, he knew in the past, she would often choose to have coitus with a man after one date, while knowing little about him. That was obviously not his preference. He was convinced that only by taking the time to get to truly know each other would their relationship stand a chance, and that bond would be stymied if they jumped right into having coitus.

However, he had recently come to the conclusion that Penny had been abstinent for at least the two months they'd been dating, a circumstance which was unusual for her. She was a young woman with a healthy sex drive who had a strict moral code against cheating… and he was technically, legally, her husband. For almost two months, he had been withholding any kind of sexual fulfillment from her while denying her the freedom to choose another partner. The idea of her seeking out some other man for coitus made his stomach churn, even if he could believe she would do such a thing. Since she wasn't that type of person, that left only one other option. He must see to her needs. This was why his hands were sweating as he waited for Penny to show up at his apartment for dinner as she usually did. He hoped she wouldn't demand coitus of him. He used to think that intercourse sounded messy and unsanitary, nothing he would ever voluntarily choose to do. But as his feelings for Penny had grown, he was beginning to desire her. The idea of having sex was no longer distasteful, but it was still unnerving. He was afraid of doing something so uncharacteristic, of losing himself in mindless sensation. The memory of that act would be seared into his brain, forever just as clear and vivid as the moment it happened. To do that with Penny when she still wasn't certain about their future would be a disaster. He had no idea how anyone was expected to move on from that. With his eidetic memory, he was certain he would never be able to even look at another woman. Because of this, he was determined that he would only have coitus with Penny when she was ready to put that diamond solitaire back on her finger and promise she would never leave him. Once he had become convinced that it was his responsibility to meet her sexual needs, he hoped he could persuade her to be satisfied with certain alternatives to coitus. Even that would be far too intense, far too intimate, but compromises had to be made.

He was usually silent throughout their meal, only half-heartedly throwing out some random fun facts about the lifespan of oysters and the chemical composition of pulsars.

Finally, Penny put down her half-eaten pad thai. "Is something bothering you, babe?"

He swallowed hard and haltingly began to explain his thought process. Her jaw dropped as he told her that he felt an obligation to fulfill her sexual needs, and her eyes almost popped out of her skull when he explained that he was only offering digital stimulation.

"That means using my hands, not an electronic device," he added.

"Holy crap on a cracker." That was all she said for several seconds. Then she blinked, and furrows appeared across her forehead. "Honey, you look scared to death, and you never said that you wanted to take things further."

"I admit to feeling conflicted, but-"

"So, you're like literally tossing me a bone?" She jumped to her feet. "Are you kidding me? You act like I'm some kind of sex-starved maniac, like getting me off would be this big sacrifice for you! What makes you even think I'd want any of that from you? It's obviously that last thing in the world you want! You think I don't have any self-control, but the last guy I slept with was you, so screw you. I can take care of my own needs," she snarled at him.

He shrank back from her vehemence.

She snatched up her purse, ready to storm out.

"Wait… please," he called. She paused and looked back at him, still scowling. "Did I understand you correctly?" he asked cautiously. "You've been abstinent since our wedding night? You haven't had coitus with anyone else since then?"

Reluctantly, she nodded.

He thought for a moment. "Why?" he finally asked. "You weren't aware that we were married."

With a sigh, she settled down next to him on the couch. "I never really thought about the consequences of sleeping around until you were the guy I ended up in bed with. When I thought I might lose your friendship, I felt so awful. I couldn't look at another guy without being reminded of what I did."

"Now that you know we got married first, does that change your perspective of those events?"

"Sort of," she replied. "I still don't know how we ended up married. I still feel like I took advantage of you."

He took her hand in his, her left hand. "Maybe I was the one who took advantage of you," he said with a spark of amusement in his eyes.

"That doesn't make any sense," she protested, but she allowed him to draw her closer. As his mouth closed over hers and his fingers threaded through her hair, she allowed his kisses to banish the last of her annoyance.

Over the next several weeks, she kept up her sessions with Julie, digging deeper into her past and why she was afraid of commitment. Sheldon continued to surprise her. He regularly complimented her, and if his flattery was sometimes awkwardly worded, she could tell he was sincere. He also modified his routine to take her out once a week. He took her paintballing and to high school football games, and once to a murder mystery where he insisted they both dress up in Victorian garb. The ruffled shirt looked a bit silly on him, but Penny couldn't help but notice the way the tight knee breeches hugged his backside. He wasn't classically handsome, but she was beginning to find a lot of things about him sexy: the intense deep blue of his eyes, his well-defined jawline, the play of the muscles in his forearms. Then there was the way he could take her breath away whenever they kissed. Their relationship was far from perfect, but after a few months, they were still together, and her feelings for him were growing deeper with every passing day.