Over the next few days, Penny brooded. Through her therapy sessions, she'd finally recovered the last of her memories. She now knew that she had accepted Sheldon's proposal out of a combination of low self-esteem and a genuine affection for him. It wasn't something she ever would've done sober. It wasn't something she thought he would've done sober either. But his reaction to the news still baffled her. Once he got over his initial shock, he had been doing his best to make their marriage work, and she still wasn't sure why. She was an uneducated waitress whose IQ could only be described as average. He was a bona fide genius. He was also completely devoted to her, someone she genuinely enjoyed spending time with, and he continued to make her toes curl every time they kissed. The way she saw it, he was definitely not getting the better end of the deal, being with her. The only thing she really had going for her was that she was young and hot, not that he seemed to care about any of those things. He wanted her; just her, no matter if she was happy or sad, if she dressed up or wore sweats. She wasn't sure how to handle that level of devotion.

During that week when Sheldon was absent in the evenings, Penny quickly realized how much she'd grown to rely on him. She wanted to tell him stories about her crazy customers or cuddle close to his side while watching some sci-fi movie. She wanted to breathe in his faint masculine scent, mixed with the smell of dry erase markers, as she found that sensitive spot behind his ear. She wanted to feel his broad hands clench her shoulders when she straddled his lap and kissed him senseless. For this first time, she was beginning to understand the appeal of being with someone who was a virgin. The idea that he had never been with anyone else brought out a possessiveness in her. She wanted to be the one - the only one - to make love to him. She wanted to be his first and only in so many things, and the depth of her emotions terrified her. He was brilliant, with a rising career and lofty ambitions. She was a waitress who dreamed of being an actress but who was too lazy - or too scared - to fully pursue her dreams. It didn't matter if she wanted him; she knew they shouldn't be together. She would just drag him down.

They'd been dating for six months, and she was still trying to process what she had learned in her hypnotherapy sessions. She knew she had feelings for Sheldon and believed that his quirky behavior had masked them for a long time. But what she still wasn't sure about was whether those feelings were strong enough to build a lifetime commitment on. He still drove her crazy, but now that phrase had an entirely different meaning, as there were too many times when she just wanted to pounce on him. She knew that he was not unaffected by their make out sessions either. She'd come to realize that when he pushed her away, he was fighting for control. But there didn't seem to be anything she could do to make him break his self-imposed chastity, other than put that huge diamond ring on her finger and promise him the rest of her life.

One night, they were sitting on the couch in Sheldon's apartment. He wanted to watch one of the Star Trek movies, so her price for willingly sitting through the movie was for him to make out with her beforehand. Not that either of them would actually acknowledge that was what they were doing, but that was how it worked. After a few minutes, Sheldon pulled back just enough to lean his forehead against hers. One of his large hands was still cradling the back of her neck, just the way she liked it.

"There's something I would like to discuss with you," he said.

She pouted. "Can't it wait until later?" She captured his mouth once more, and her tongue flicked against his lower lip.

He groaned but once again put some distance between them. "It's important. I want to talk about our anniversary."

It took Penny's lust-fogged brain a moment to catch up with what he was saying. Anniversary… that must mean it had been a full year since they had drunkenly tied the knot. "What about it?" she asked reluctantly. She had a feeling she wouldn't like whatever he was about to say.

"I wanted to mark the occasion in a significant manner. We could go away for the weekend." He reached for her left hand. "Perhaps by now you are willing to reconsider-"

"No!" She jerked her hand away, knowing exactly what he was asking. "I told you, it's way too soon. Don't ask me to wear that damn ring. I can't."

He glanced away, and the muscles of his jaw clenched. "This isn't working," he said, so quietly she could barely hear him.

"We've only been together for a few months," she began.

"We've known each other for five years," he retorted. His words were clipped short, and the tendons in his neck stood out. He slid several inches closer to the arm of the couch, putting more distance between them. "When we agreed to date, I knew nothing about being a boyfriend, but I tried. Later, I realized I hadn't given you much reason to want to stay married to me, so I began to research what makes people fall in love. Learning new patterns of behavior was difficult and stressful for me, but I persisted. I trained myself to ask about your day and truly listen to what you had to say. I involved myself in activities that you enjoyed, like shoe shopping. I kiss you and touch you and compliment you and… and the end result is that I've fallen in love with you, while you are unmoved." The lines of his face were drawn tight, and his expression was bleak in a way she had never seen him before. "You don't love me. I'm not certain you're capable of it. We need to end this charade - I need it to end. I want you to leave."

"Come on, honey, don't be like this," Penny wheedled. "I know things aren't perfect, but-"

"Do you love me?" he demanded. "It's a simple question, and the answer is either yes or no."

Her throat seemed to close up. "I… I care about you," she faltered.

He closed his eyes as if he couldn't bear the sight of her. "It's not enough. This relationship is terminated. Please leave immediately."

Her vision blurred. "Sheldon…"

His eyes flew open. "Go!" he roared at her. In that moment, she could see in his eyes all of his pain - pain that she had caused. With a sob, she fled.

Back in her own apartment, she sank down onto the loveseat, no longer able to hold back her tears. She couldn't believe Sheldon had broken up with her. All those things he said about her had wounded her to the core. He was being such an idiot. After a few moments, she went and splashed cold water on her face. He couldn't possibly mean it. How could he say he loved her one minute and break up with her the next? She would give him a day or so to cool off, and then she was sure she could get him to come around.

The first inkling of dread came when he wouldn't return her texts. Undaunted, she knocked on his door one evening. He didn't answer, and when she tried the handle, it was locked. So she waited around the lobby the next evening around five-thirty, intending to pretend to casually run into him after Leonard dropped him off. He never showed. Now she was really starting to feel alarmed. In desperation, she called Leonard, who regretfully told her that Sheldon had shown up on his doorstep a few nights ago with a packed bag, asking to stay for "an indeterminate amount of time".

"I've never seen him like this," Leonard confided. "He won't eat; he doesn't want to play video games or go to the comic book store. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you broke his heart."

Penny felt the tears well up in her eyes again as she clutched at her phone. "I didn't mean to," she whispered miserably.

"He won't talk about it, but do you want to tell me what happened? I'm still your friend, you know."

"Maybe later. It's... complicated. But thanks." She hung up. She never expected her relationship with Sheldon to last, but it still surprised her how much it hurt that he'd broken up with her. Pulling out her phone again, she called Bernadette.

"Can you come over?" she asked plaintively. "I could really use a friend. Sheldon broke up with me."

"Yeah, I know. The guys gossip like a bunch of old ladies. I'll be over right away," Bernie promised.

True to her word, she arrived less than an hour later, bearing a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream. She hugged Penny. "How are you holding up?"

Penny took the bottle of wine and headed for the kitchen. Bernie trailed behind. Penny grabbed two wine glasses out of her cupboard. "I think I'm still in shock," she answered as she doled out the first drinks. "I didn't think he meant it. I mean, we've had fights before, but this wasn't like that. He just suddenly told me it wasn't working out, and that we were through."

Bernie put the ice cream in Penny's freezer and sat down next to her on the sofa. "Didn't he tell you why he was breaking up with you?" she asked, wide-eyed.

Penny squirmed uncomfortably. "I know why. He wanted something from me I wasn't able to give him - a commitment."

Bernie unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh. "Wow, I guess you guys were really doomed from the start."

"Hey!" Penny cried, offended. "I thought you're supposed to be taking my side."

"Oh, come on. Commitment's just not your style. You're a love-'em-and-leave-'em kind of girl. If he wanted someone who'd never leave him, he should've gone with Amy. That girl's a desperate, clingy leech." She giggled, and Penny eyed her friend's empty wine glass suspiciously. With a huff, she got up and filled her glass almost to the brim and walked back to the living room.

"He said he'd been making changes for me, and that I didn't make any for him." She glanced over at Bernie, only to find her friend eyeing her with one eyebrow raised. "What?"

Bernie shrugged. "Like I said, you just treated him like every other boyfriend you've ever had. Did he really think you were gonna fall for him?"

Blinking slowly, Penny tried to figure out what her friend was telling her. "Are you saying that if I really loved Sheldon, I would've changed who I am?"

"Of course not - not who you are. I mean what you do. If you really loved him, you'd have made him a priority. You'd have gone out of your way to show him how much he meant to you. Worn superhero shirts, or gone to a sci-fi convention, or read up on physics - stuff like that."

Penny swallowed hard, and the aftertaste of the wine was suddenly bitter in her mouth. "He did change," she whispered. "And I just thought it was weird. I didn't understand. I didn't make any kind of effort." Tears sprang into her eyes.

Bernie put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. "It's okay, hon. Someday, you'll meet the right guy and-"

"No. No! He is the right guy. I love him, Bernie. My mom always told me I should let the guy chase me, and never let him think I loved him more or say 'I love you' first." She shook her head. "Maybe that works with some guys, but Sheldon didn't play games like that. He just… he just offered me his heart." She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes. The more she thought about it, the more it made sense to her. Sheldon saw the world in terms of black and white. There were no gray areas for him; you were either in or out. He had let her in, been completely vulnerable in a way she wasn't even sure she could imitate, and she had just treated him like a casual fling. She sat up straighter and put down her wine glass. "I can do better. You're right; I wasn't a good girlfriend to him." She jumped up and walked into her kitchen where she rummaged through a drawer until she found a notepad and a pen.

"Uh, Penny, what are you-"

"I just need a plan. I'm going to figure out what I did wrong, and I'll fix it, and then he'll take me back. Come on, help me; what did you say? Learn physics," she said, writing it down on the paper with a number one in front of it. "Number two - wear superhero shirts. Ooh, I should start reading more of those comics he bought me."

Bernie looked over her shoulder with a frown. "I've never seen you like this before," she commented hesitantly.

Penny looked up with a grin. "I have a plan, and I'm going to get him back. Just watch me."