He stumbled as he ran and his feet were killing him, but he didn't care. He just needed to get as far away as possible, as fast as he could go. He needed to get away from the distorted Alice. He needed to get away from this never ending guilt.
He had never wanted her death to happen.
But he knew it would, and he valued his selfish desire to bring the world to Lacie over Alice's life. As if her life had meant nothing. But Jack loved Lacie more than anything, more than the whole of Sablier, more than Alice, definitely more than himself, and he had proven that to her. He had given her Sablier. He had made her happy.
And apparently, made Alice angry. Now she was after him, and was going to torment him and haunt him for what he did to her.
"No, no, no, I'm sorry!" Jack screamed desperately between gasps as he ran.
He kept running even as the world blurred around him, colors mashing together in a nauseating array of foggy pigment. He was stumbling blindly and tripping over his own feet, which would have hurt if not for the terrified adrenaline rushing through his veins and numbing him to everything but the need to get away. He was gasping for breath and his lungs were on fire but all he could think about was getting away from Alice. Run faster, he told himself. Run away from everything. Then nothing can hurt you.
Alice.
Jack kept trying to tell himself that it wasn't the real Alice; he had killed her before Sablier was dropped into the Abyss so she couldn't have been turned into a chain. This wasn't the real Alice, but Jack lost all rational thought and explanation when he thought of her. He remembered her face perfectly from when she was alive, always had the spark of mischief and defiance that had annoyed him so much, but she was so bright and always smiling. And then there was the image of the chain he had just seen flashing through his mind, the crooked smile and the black eyes…and oh, the sound of her laughter. It's not Alice, it's not Alice he told himself, but did he really know for sure? Just a chain Jack thought to himself, but it was not comforting in the slightest.
What did it matter that it wasn't Alice because she was still dead and it was all his fault.
He only wanted to apologize to her but he knew nothing he said would make up for what he did to her. Jack rested his chin on his knees and moaned. He didn't dare close his eyes, for fear that Alice would come charging at him with those demonic black eyes glaring right at him. Jack hoped that was the last he would see of her.
Jack felt arms wrap around him from behind, and a body nestled right up against his back.
It was warm and light.
It was gentle.
It was not over.
Jack froze. Alice was right there, and he had no idea what he would do or say that would appease her. He didn't think anything he did or said would mollify her anyway, so he just stayed silent. He didn't think he could have spoken even if he wanted to, just like he couldn't move. Too terrified; paralyzed in fear. Jack was shivering, and he knew Alice felt it too. She could feel the fear radiating off him in waves and Jack knew she was enjoying it. He felt her shift. She leaned in close, almost like she was resting her head on his shoulder. Her long hair draped over his torso and brushed against his cheek. Jack's breath came out in short, shallow gasps. His hands clenched around his legs, squeezing so tightly he could see his knuckles turn white.
"You killed me."
With those three little words, Jack was suddenly a thousand times more aware of that moment than he had been previously. He could feel Alice's blood red lips up against his ear, feel her smooth whisper travel through him, and feel her breath on his skin. Images flashed in his mind. He was screaming in rage. Alice had a pair of scissors. Then she was on the ground, her beautiful blue dress now soaked in blood. Jack remembered how he had felt then. So angry one moment, then falling to his knees in grief the next. He had never cared much for Alice; she was much too obstinate and annoying, and unlike her sister, not easily manipulated. But he remembered the terrible weight of her body in his arms, so limp, too limp. Lifeless. He had clutched her to his chest and cried out that he was sorry, that he hadn't wanted that to happen. Then he got up and carried on with his plans, and he just left her there. He had killed her and just left her there.
She whispered in his ear again, louder this time.
"You killed me."
Jack felt like he was choking on air.
"A-Alice…I'm sorry," he said.
"You killed me!" Alice screamed in his ear.
Jack gasped at the sudden loudness and repeated his apology. "I did it for Lacie…" he muttered weakly.
"You killed me! You killed me! You killed me! You killed me you killed me you killed me youkilledmeyoukilledmeyoukilledmeYOUKILLEDMEYOUKILLEDMEYOUKILLEDME!" Alice screamed over and over again.
She repeated it so much that all the words started to blend together into one continuous stream of "you killed me," getting louder each time until Alice was shrieking in Jacks ears. Jack tried to drown out her screams with his own stream of "I'm sorry's," although they were spaced out by Jack's frantic breathing. He tried to shout it louder than Alice which led to the both of them screaming at the top of their lungs and Jack could feel the din rattle his brain. He didn't know when the noise had stopped, or if it had at all, because for all he knew, he could've just gotten used to it. He couldn't even tell the difference between loud and quiet anymore, all he could think of was Alice's deathly face and onyx eyes, and her shrieking in his ears. He couldn't even feel himself shaking, he couldn't feel the aches in his muscles from sitting there for so long. He didn't even know how long it had been. Everything Jack knew, everything he was, was consumed by the words "you killed me," until there was nothing else. It felt like he was floating in space.
Jack sat there for so long that his legs fell asleep and his arms went numb. A wisp of black smoke—some stray Abyss miasma—drifted past his face and he couldn't even work up the strength to brush it away. He kept very still, unsure if Alice was still there or not. He couldn't tell if the screaming in his ears was from her or his own thoughts. He couldn't get her out of his head. He thought about her all the time, he never forgot what he had done to her, but he had always pushed aside his guilt so he could focus on finding Lacie. But now he couldn't stop hearing "you killed me," and he couldn't get the image of poor young Alice soaked in blood out of his head. Something had broken inside of him, something that had been slowly chipping away since the day Alice died.
He regretted it, all of it, so much so that he felt his body ache with grief. He wanted to go back in time and erase everything he had done, erase the memory of Lacie from his mind so he would have never fallen so in love with her. He had only wanted to make her happy, to save her just as she had saved him. He sometimes wished she hadn't. Then none of this would have happened. Alice, and all of Sablier would still be alive if only he hadn't been so mind numbingly weak.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the monstrous trail of thoughts that stemmed from his own self-pity. He couldn't stand it anymore. Apparently the monsters of the Abyss had invaded his mind and chose to whisper incessantly in his ear how pathetic he was.
He was still shaking and exhausted, and he could feel hot tears trail down his cheeks. He didn't care how awful he must have looked, there was no one around to care anyway. So he stayed there for God knows how long, since he didn't really feel the inclination to get up.
Jack wanted to scream, Why had this happened? He only wanted to be with Lacie, he never wanted to cause so much pain. When Lacie died, he hadn't cared about anything but being with her, and he didn't care about all the destruction he was causing. Now he could see the effect his selfishness had on everyone in his life.
"Hey!"
Jack gasped, thinking it was Alice coming back to kill him, and he whipped his head around nervously. It was only Ariella running up to him, but Jack wasn't able to calm the nervous pain in his stomach. He tried to calm his breathing before she got to him.
"I've been looking all over for you!" Ariella chirped, oblivious to what had just happened to Jack. She saw some dissipating black smoke but figured it was just a trick of the light on the unusual atmosphere.
Jack stared at her with wide, wet eyes and said nothing, still too in shock.
Ariella put her hands on her hips and bent down to look teasingly at Jack. She tilted her head to the side and quirked an eyebrow.
"Why ya crying? Don't tell me your feet hurt that bad," she stuck out her tongue, "don't be a baby," she said mockingly and giggled. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.
Jack clenched his jaw and used his sleeves to hastily wipe his face.
"Tch. Stop wasting time and take me to Lacie," Jack grumbled.
He uncurled from his balled-up position and tried to stand up, but as soon as he put weight on feet he felt a sharp, biting pain in the blisters and he staggered forward, almost falling flat on his face in the water. He put his hands out to brace himself and ungracefully plopped back down. He cursed under his breath and sat up, looking frustrated. He didn't look at Ariella but she could tell from the redness of his face that he was humiliated.
Ariella looked at him sympathetically and then at his feet. The soles of his boots had completely melted away except for the heels, and she could see the damage the acid had wreaked on the skin. The bottoms of his feet were terribly blistered, and the skin was bleeding and red. It looked excruciatingly painful to walk on, and Ariella had to give it to him for running and carrying her all that way through the tunnel. She gingerly brushed her palms over the shoes and used her magic to heal the damaged skin and repair Jacks boots.
Jack sucked in a breath as all the burning, stinging pain was replaced by a sudden coolness, and then it was gone. He pulled his feet away from Ariella and observed them curiously. No blisters, no pain. He released a breath and looked curiously at Ariella.
"Well you're no use to Lacie if you can't even walk," she said, repeating his earlier words back to him. She jumped up and brushed her hands off.
Jack narrowed his eyes at her and stood up, warily testing his newly healed feet. He glanced back at Ariella, who was smirking at him, then looked forward again and stomped off in a huff.
"Let's go," he grumbled, and didn't look back at Ariella again.
Ariella observed him while he walked, stealing secretive glances out of the corners of her eyes. Jack always tried so hard to hide what he was going through, although she wished he wouldn't. He was obviously traumatized; his movements were jerky and his steps were too stiff, too fast. She could see his hands shaking at his sides, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. He was trying to appear confident and project this aura of superiority, but Ariella could see he was fractured inside. Pity and guilt tugged at her heart when she saw him like this and she fought hard to suppress a sigh.
Ariella skipped through the air and ran to Jacks side. She had to move fast to keep up the pace with him, as he was likely trying to out-walk her so they didn't have to be side by side. He didn't look down at her, only keeping his gaze on the nonexistent horizon off in the distance. Ariella silently took his shaking hand in her own. Jack's eyes widened for a moment as he registered this, then he went back to his usual angry expression and ripped his hand away.
"I'm not your mother," Jack snapped, and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.
He hastened his stride and tried to strut faster than Ariella, and she giggled at his efforts. He looked more like an embarrassed fool rather than the confident young man he was trying so desperately to be.
"No, you're a bloody idiot," Ariella laughed.
Jack glared at her for a moment, but it was halfhearted at best. It was strange, he was oddly comforted by her sarcastic comments. She rarely held anything back when it came to expressing her opinion of him—or her disapproval of his actions. Where others would have run screaming just from being near him, Ariella stayed beside him and welcomed him so openly. She had a complete disregard for his authority and reputation and never held back a jab, and although Jack had to glare at her for the sake of his pride, he was comforted by her honesty. The faceless figures he knew in the past never had the courage to speak their mind about a person to their face, as it was always fake smiles and back stabbing. Jack supposed he was as bad as they were and he could use a dose of honesty for once.
Jack breathed out heavily, finally calming his rapid breaths. He had yet to calm his unsteady nerves, but at least he could appear more composed.
"I suppose I am," he sighed.
Jack gave up on his efforts to out-pace Ariella—for the sake of exhaustion, of course—and walked silently alongside her for a long while until they found a cluster of furniture floating in the distance. There was an unmade bed with a blue bedspread, a dining room table, a dresser, and a nightstand hanging in the air, while a lamp and a few dolls floated among the surface of the ground-waves.
Jack helped Ariella climb up onto the one bed, but he said nothing as she jumped off and curled up on a dining room table. She used the table cloth as a blanket and within minutes Jack could hear her softly snoring like a cat. He was originally going to let her take the bed, but she apparently thought she was his mother and took it upon herself to give him what little comfort she could.
Mother.
Is that what mothers are supposed to do? Where had that thought come from? He had never experienced any such kindness like that from his mother, not since he was a small child. His mother always took whatever luxuries came their way for herself, she didn't spare a second thought for her bastard son. Maybe that was where Jack had learned his selfishness, it had been ingrained in him from the start.
Jack shook away the thought as he kicked off his boots and climbed into bed. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, with no more thoughts of mothers and past demons.
"Do you miss it?" Ariella asked, breaking the silence. That was really all she could do to ease the awkward air around them as she led Jack to their next destination.
"I miss Lacie," Jack replied.
Ariella rolled her eyes, "Lacie, Lacie, Lacie, it's always Lacie. Is she really all you ever think about? This cookie has chocolate chips, chocolate is brown, Lacie's hair is brown," Ariella made emphatic hand gestures in the air as if her sarcasm wasn't apparent enough.
Jack looked affronted by her callous comment about his beloved, but then his eyes clouded over and he looked off into the distance. "She's far more pleasurable to think about than everything else," he said softly.
Ariella's heart twanged when she saw the pained look on his face, but she continued talking. "That brings me back to what I was saying; do you miss it? The world?"
Jack looked down at his feet. "Well, I did try to destroy it, that should be a good enough answer to your question," he said confidently enough, but his tense shoulders and hands shoved in his pockets did not go unnoticed.
They were silent for a while, and the only sound that could be heard was their footsteps and the ever-present swish swish of the Abyss floor.
"Why?" Ariella asked, so quietly she thought Jack hadn't heard her. He didn't reply for a few seconds.
"Why did I do it or why do I not miss the world?" Jack finally said.
Ariella shrugged. "Both, I guess."
Jack gave her a sad smile. "The world I knew was never kind."
Ariella ached to reach out to him, to comfort him. She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder but didn't, and kept walking in silence until Jack spoke again.
"I guess the world must not have been kind to you as well, for you to end up here."
"I actually had a very full life, I only ended up here because of…" Ariella trailed off and bit her lip.
Jack inhaled deeply, and sighed. "Because of me," he finished for her.
He looked down at his boots again, and Ariella could almost see the guilt eating him alive. She figured now would be a good time to put her hand on his back. Jack seemed surprised by the gesture and looked at Ariella curiously.
"You're not angry with me?" he asked, to which Ariella shook her head.
Jack looked at her for a few seconds and then again off in the distance, and Ariella removed her hand.
"Why are you helping me?" he asked. Jack noticed Ariella's eyes un-focus for a second, and there was an emotion on her face he couldn't quite identify.
"I've always been quite foolish," she said wistfully.
Jack wanted to know more, but he didn't want to dig more into the conversation because he knew it would be rerouted back to him, and he was too tired for that right now. So that marked the end of their exchange for a while and they continued on in silence.
There was no path that Ariella was leading Jack on and he had no idea how she knew where she was going, or if she was even leading him anywhere at all. She could've been lost and wandering around without telling him and he would never know. He tried not to think about the possibility that she was leading him astray, further and further from his ultimate destination. He should at least give her the benefit of the doubt. Ariella seemed determined and wasn't picking her turns at random so Jack decided to trust her to know where she was going. He had more to worry about than simply getting lost in the nothingness of the Abyss; he could easily deal with a few stray chains. Whatever awaited him at the place Ariella was taking him to, that he wasn't sure if he could handle. After what happened back at the tunnel, and with Alice, Jack was infinitely more wary of what was to come.
"We need to go through here to get to Lacie," Ariella said, not explaining any further. Jack wondered if she was doing that to him on purpose.
Jack looked off into the distance and was able to make out some looming black structure. He hoped it wasn't some cursed monolith or something else equally as ridiculous. As they drew closer, Jack was able to determine that it was, in fact, a massive arched gate. What it led to, Jack was hesitant to find out.
Jack looked up at the giant arch as they approached and it seemed even more ominous up close. Black iron bars reached several feet into the air and towered over him, and dead, blackened vines entwined around them like snakes. What was most disturbing was the name at the top of the gate. Guilty. It was written in letters that looked like they were made out of twisted wires coming undone with age, drooping and unraveling and giving off a spidery effect.
Jack suddenly felt very queasy just looking at it.
Ariella took a deep breath before speaking. "This," she gestured to the arch, "is the Guilty Graveyard."
Notes: Not sure if Lacie's hair is actually black or just a really deep brown, but deep brown is what I'm going with.