Dear Freddie,

I'm probably the last person you want to hear from at the moment but I had to write to apologise for what Carly and I put on the website. While it was done when things between you and us were bad, what we did to you was inexcusable. If I could turn the clock back and not make that video then I would, but I can't, and since I can't all that I can do is tell you how sorry I am and that I hope that one day you can forgive us.

Stay brown,

Sam

I woke Tuesday morning to find that e-mail from Sam waiting for me. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I had been tempted to delete without reading when I saw it was from Sam, but took the time to look at it and was left feeling bewildered. Is she for real? Do I – can I – believe her? Is she finally growing up? Is she doing this for me, for her or maybe even for Carly – knowing that the two of us were patching things up? And what do I do about it? How do I respond? What they did made my life awful – again – but they did it before graduation, before we all cleared the air. Things were improving, particularly between me and Carly, so should I just forgive and move on? CAN I just forgive just like that? So much to think about.

True to Tom's prediction, the day was far better than Monday had been. It started the same, people ignoring me but I made of a point of walking up to Andy after first class to discuss the project. He reluctantly agreed to talk over lunch and when we did break for lunch we headed to the Terrence Food Court. At first we just sat there eating, he was scowling, but I broke the silence and began discussing the project and the start that I'd made. He seemed impressed with how much I'd done in one night, and the fact that I seemed to really know my stuff. Perhaps eager to not be outdone, or maybe embarrassed into action, he willingly took on a lot of the remaining work and then made a surprising comment that lifted my spirits.

"You're not a bit like they described you. You're a good guy – like you seemed whenever you were actually on camera."

I bit back a sarcastic reply; there'd be time for them later. I just said "Thanks. It's nice to know at least one person in class has seen the real me."

He gave a small smile and suggested that he could help me with that.

We were first to class in the afternoon and Andy sat next to me. The others started to arrive and surprised looks were aimed in our direction when people saw him sat with me. One spoke up,

"Andy – what are you sat with Benson for?" spitting out my name like it were a bad taste on his tongue.

"We're project partners, Gary. We met for lunch and we talked. He's actually not a douche – and he really knows his stuff."

I'm not a douche – wow, that's the nicest thing anyone in this class has said to me.

Gary shrugged. He and some of the others sat with us for the afternoon, they were still frosty towards me but a couple of them were at least civil. Andy suggested getting a coffee afterwards and a few of us went to Kerckhoff. At Andy's request I gave my side of the story of iCarly's demise, which the guys seemed to accept willingly enough. The atmosphere was improving and when we parted company I felt that yes, progress had been made.

I'd arranged with Tori for her to come over and see my dorm and some of the campus. She'd landed the lead in the first show of the year so we decided to make it just a quick tour before heading to Cooperage for something to eat and a couple of quick games of pool. Over dinner we discussed what Carly and Sam had done, what it meant for my relationship (and hers) with them, whether I could forgive it. Tori said that she wouldn't, as she put it "If someone eviscerated me like that then I don't think I'd ever want them in my life again." She did concede, however, that she wasn't the one living across the hallway from them (as I would be any time I was back in Seattle) so it would be more difficult for me to exist in a world where I was trying to keep Carly and Sam out of my life for good. While I had managed it successfully earlier, it had been by mutual avoidance. If Carly was determined to win back my friendship, she would be far harder to avoid. I showed Tori Sam's e-mail and we went over some of the questions I had asked myself that morning. Even with her help I was unable to find any satisfactory answers. She also commented that there was no mention of her in the e-mail, not even in passing, and that she had seemed less than friendly when the three of them were talking the previous evening, before I'd joined the conversation. I relayed some of the things Carly had said to me over the summer, about Sam seeming unhappy and not entirely accepting of Tori and I being in a relationship.

"Sounds like she's not over you." Tori observed.

"You think?" I asked. "She seemed completely over me, the way she was acting after the break-up. She was briefly nice to me, then it was the old Sam, so I assumed the feelings, the 'in love' had gone. Maybe she thinks you should have been bound by the 'girl code' and that I was off limits to you?"

"Oh. Well if that IS what she thinks then too bad."

"Good."

Two games of pool later we headed back to my dorm. My room was empty so I was able to help her read through her part for the play. After the read-through we were cuddling on the coach, her in my lap. I planted a quick kiss on her lips, she responded and we were just getting ready for a really good make-out session when Tom walked in.

"Oops sorry bro, I – whoa" he finished as his eyes took in Tori. "Whoa man, I heard you turning down those girls' numbers last night because you had a hot girlfriend but wow!" He started turning bright red as he stumbled over his words. "I'll uh, I'll leave you guys to it" and he retreated to the communal area. I turned to Tori with a broad smile.

"Someone's got an admirer" I teased. She looked at me.

"Hot girlfriend?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"I believe the phrase I used was 'gorgeous singer/actress girlfriend'" I defended.

"Oh. Anyone I know?" she smiled.

"You see her a couple of times a day."

"Really?" she looked confused. I smiled and looked over to my mirror.

"Actually," I said, pointing to the mirror, "she's over there right now."

"Oh. Well, I guess she is kinda hot" Tori laughed.

"I think so too" I said and kissed her again.

All too soon it was time for her to head home. I walked her to her car and kissed her goodnight.

Tom was still in the communal area when I returned.

"Does she have a sister?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said, grimacing slightly as I thought of Trina.

"Could you maybe introduce us?"

"I WOULD, but enough people here hate me already. I don't want to add you to that list."
He looked confused until I showed him Trina's page on The Slap and talked a little about the older Vega sibling.

"I see what you mean" he conceded. "What about any of Tori's friends?"

I thought of Cat. Lovely girl, if a little scatter-brained and brought up her page.

"I could get Tori to see if Cat wanted to hang one evening?" I suggested. Tom seemed to like that idea.

Like it? Hate it? Think that I should give it up as a bad idea? Let me know.