Big thank you to Justtmeee, , Booksmartblonde333, and Chyna - who, incidentally, takes the crown for longest review after that ESSAY! Thank you! - who answered my questions.

So far, I am on ONE for all out smut, ONE for no smut at all and TWO for however I want to play it out.

So, You four can ignore this; everyone else, here they are again.

1) How far do you want this to go graphically? Are we all eagerly awaiting some explicit scenes, or are we happy with how it is? Or some where inbetween?

2) This story was always intended to finish at the end of seventh year. It still is. But, I've been thinking about continuing into the post-graduation years. It'd be more angst, most likely, just because of the war themes. Would you be interested in a sequel?

Please, if you have a minute. Your opinion is important to me and I would very much like to know what you think.

Thank you. And sorry for putting this at the top. On with the chapter!

Nonsensical Nonsense

' Okay, Good. Now try this one.'

Remus pointed to a new series of symbols, each more complicated than the last. Peter sighed. He'd only taken Runes as a NEWT because he was passable in it. He'd actually gotten an E in his OWL. Plus, it was nice to have a class absent James and Sirius. Much as Peter loved them and their antics, sometimes he just wanted a bit of peace and quiet.

Truth was, he liked Runes. They were easy to lose yourself in, concentrating on the lines and patterns and the meaning of it all, piecing it together into coherency. It was all so simple when you blocked the rest of the world out.

And that was Peter's problem. Today he just could not hold that level of concentration.

They were in the library, which was awfully noisy for a library. Admittedly, it was quieter than the common room, but it was still much too noisy for so-called sanctuary. It was getting busier now that Christmas had been and gone, everyone panicking about the fast approaching exams.

Peter felt a little annoyed that he was suffering because of all these people and their incessant cramming, when he had been in the library like clockwork every Monday, Wednesday and Friday since October. It was so ridiculously unfair.

' Have you ever noticed,' Sirius said, suddenly, ' that the word whelmed means the same thing as the word overwhelmed?'

Peter resisted the urge to tut, mostly because Sirius had managed to stay silent for a whole twenty minutes before he'd started sprouting rubbish.

' Yes,' Remus said with all the patience of a nursery school teacher. ' Yes, I have. Peter?'

' No, not really,' Peter replied, without thinking.

Remus gave him that same patient smile and tapped the book on the desk between them. ' I meant the runes.'

' Oh! Right,' Peter felt himself turning blotchy, supremely embarrassed. ' Sorry.'

' What do you recognise? Take them one at a time.'

' Well,' Peter started, hating how suddenly uncertain he was. ' I know the Hydra is nine.'

' It is, yes,' Moony nodded encouragingly.

' And,' Peter felt bolstered by his success. ' This one is fork.'

' Almost. See this little flick at the end. It makes it a verb instead of a noun.'

' So, forked?'

' Exactly. Now this symbol here,' Remus pointed to the next in the sequence.

' Oh, that's-'

' Why is it,' Sirius interrupted again, waving his finger importantly, ' that things only ever vanish into thin air? Why not thick air?'

Peter couldn't hold his annoyed clucking back a second time, but it was mercifully drowned out by Remus' irritated sigh.

' That is a Muggle expression Sirius. You are a wizard. You know as well as I do that objects never vanish, in any air. They're either made invisible, or displaced to another location. They don't disappear at all.'

' Even I know that,' Peter felt the need to put in.

' Well done,' Sirius said, words dripping with condescension. ' You can remember the laws of transfiguration but not one pissing rune meaning.'

' Like you know it,' Peter retorted. It was a habitual response, overriding the fact that Sirius was a fucking encyclopaedia of shite, useless and otherwise and that, even though he hadn't studied runes of any sort since he was a kid, he probably still knew the answer.

' I happen to know,' Sirius replied, with a mixture of cold disdain and haughty satisfaction. ' That that particular rune goes by the name of Eihwaz.'

' Wrong!' Peter cried, triumphant. ' Nine forked partnership? I know you've got a reputation for getting about, but I didn't think you were that bad.'

' Err…' Remus interjected, a look of guilty amusement on his face. ' Parntership is Ehwaz - E-H. This rune here is Eihwaz - E-I-H.'

' Bugger. Defence.'

Nine forked Defence did make more sense. Peter deflated at once, sinking as low as possible in his chair and bracing himself for the onslaught of abuse he would no doubt receive. He'd only wanted to get one over on Sirius once. Once. Was that too much to ask? Evidently, yes.

That was another ridiculously unfair fact of life at Hogwarts.

Sirius - and James, too - were always better than you at everything. Even though they never did any work. They were just… Brilliant. And, sometimes, Peter hated them for it. Why did he have to try so hard for what came so naturally to them?

It was a moment before Peter realised Sirius hadn't said anything. Nothing at all - no gloating, or mocking or anything. When Peter checked, Sirius actually looked supremely concerned.

He almost pouted when he turned to Remus and asked, worriedly, ' I haven't got a reputation, have I?'

' You have,' Remus confirmed, patting Sirius on the shoulder comfortingly. ' Just a bit. But then, you did go round for three months in fourth year telling everyone who'd listen exactly what that prefect found you doing behind the greenhouses.'

' Jorkins? Ditsy cow, couldn't even remember herself after two minutes.'

' I heard she got an apprenticeship at the Ministry. God help them if she's doing the paperwork.'

Sirius snorted, placated by Moony's distraction, forgetting even to insult Peter, and fell silent. He was staring off at James, who was once again peering through the heavy, leather-bound copies of Goblin Liaisons; International Protocol and Giants Do Not Make Good Pets; An Autobiography of the Late Gerald Jigginsborough.

Peter managed to translate the whole next sentence before Sirius made another sound.

' Hey, Rem?'

' That isn't my name, thank you very much.'

' Alright, alright. Remus.'

' Yes, Padfoot?'

' Do you think, hypothetically, that an animagus could change sex?'

Remus' eyes flickered over to where James was leaning through the bookshelves, half-heartedly nodding along to the conversation he clearly wasn't following.

' Hypothetically?' he asked, smiling slightly for no reason.

' Hypothetically,' Sirius confirmed. They shared a moment - secret, silent comunication that Peter felt distinctly left out of. Then Sirius continued, louder, ' I mean, if the human counterpart became effeminate enough…?' He trailed off thoughtfully for a minute. ' What do you think, Jamie?'

' Oh, err- Yeah, I…' He stopped, pulling his head back through the bookcase. His brain finally caught up with the conversation, and he sighed, resigned. ' This is a dig at me, isn't it?'

Peter shrugged, more out of habit than anything else, even though James wasn't looking at him.

' No, no,' Sirius said, soothingly. ' Don't be daft. We're talking hypothetically. This Hypothetical animagus with hypothetical gender issues stemming from his hypothetical crush an a ginger.'

' Hypothetical ginger,' Remus added, quietly, fighting down a smile and managing to make himself look very grave.

' Of course, Moony. Hypothetical ginger.'

James did a funny scowling-pout thing with his mouth, and made to punch Sirius. Peter suspected he might accidentally hit him a bit too hard.

' Now, now, Prongsie. Calm down,' Sirius said, dodging behind the large mahogany shelving on the International Affairs section. ' It's nothing personal!'

There was a pause, in which both of them stopped, trying to guess which end of the barrier the other would emerge from. Sirius apparently bored of the strategy pretty quickly.

' Nowt personal,' he repeated. Peter thought there was a particular note of glee in he voice. ' Even if you do make a better Doe than a Stag.'

James lunged for the end of the shelf, Sirius bolting to the other end and circling. He was emphasising his accusations by resting his chin on his linked fingers and making a complete show of fluttering his eyelashes.

It did make him look remarkably feminine, and Peter blinked in surprise. Remus had a funny look on his face, too, for a moment, then he suppressed it again.

' Just know, Prongs, we all support you fully in you time of need.'

' Fuck off, you arse-sniffing mutt!'

' It's okay, let it out. Don't bottle up your emotions!'

' I'll bottle your balls, you don't shut it!'

' And, you know, you won't even have to change your name. Jamie is unisex!'

' If your bring up Elvendork, so help me, I will fucking kill you and make a rug out of your skin.'

' Like to see you try.'

' It'll look great, don't you think, right over the fire in my Dad's study? Need a good wash, first, mind.'

Sirius finally caved in and grabbed the nearest book, lobbing it around the corner at roughly James' position. As if by magic - and when Peter thought about it, it very well could be - the librarian was suddenly looming over them.

' Defiling my books!' Pince shrieked, flapping her arms. ' Out! Out of my library! Book slinging hooligans! I won't have it, out!'

' I'll see them out, Madam,' Remus said, smiling his polite prefect smile.

Fight forgotten, James and Sirius exited the library together, cursing the vulture-like librarian. Remus and Peter packed away their things, then followed.

They reached the corridor just in time to see the hunched, greasy figure of a boy in the wrong place at the wrong time turning the corner.

' Oi! Snivelly,' James shouted, his idea of fair warning, before flicking his wand casually down the hall.

The spell hit the scrawny, slimy boy square in the back, right between the shoulder blades, knocking his forward with all the force of a kicking pony. Peter would know - his gran owned a farm up in Yorkshire, including a little white mare that really rather disliked him.

Snape hit the floor hard, and Peter didn't feel anything for him. Except maybe the jolt of pleasure at seeing someone else suffer too.

Unfortunatley, though, he didn't even get a chance to laugh before they were interrupted by a slight cough.

' Now, now, then. I saw that, Mr Potter.'

Peter saw the distinctive silhouette of Slughorn standing in the doorway at the end of the corridor. Great.

' Attacked!' Snape cried, scrambling to his feet. ' They attacked me, sir!'

' You've been warned quite enough about that sort of behaviour, I think, Potter. A weeks detentions are in order.' He stopped, noticing the rest of them for the first time, then he added , ' Yes, yes. For you all.'

He strode away, Snape trailing along behind him. No doubt for protection, Peter thought, a little maliciously.

' A week!' James shouted, once the potions master had disappeared from view. ' For that? That's just ridiculously unfair!'

And Peter had to concur. All in all, it'd been a ridiculously unfair day.

Well, this ended up being a lot longer that it was meant to be. Oh well. Just a nice, fun chapter for you. Once again, thank you for reading. Reviews make me smile, Danke schoen. (Oh, and Happy Easter, everyone! Don't get too fat on chocolate… Who am I kidding? I will be!)