Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017

Toying With The Past Is What We Do
Chapter Six
I Have A Split Personality?

Kakashi has only a split second to fix Obito's stupidity, and in that short time, he comes up with the most idiotic idea. And he wonders, if two wrongs were to make a right, does twice the stupidity make a brilliant plan? Kakashi likes to think so as he slaps the Uchiha over the head and sternly says, "My father asked Obito, not you, Madara."

What the hell is wrong with him?

Obito's incredulous expression conveys similar sentiments. Luckily for him, Obito is an ace manipulator and able to bullshit his way through anything, especially when it involves masquerading as two separate individuals. Maybe, Kakashi muses with an image of Tobi toying with Naruto and Kiba, this could work.

It would also be an adequate cover for Obito's more belligerent slips.

That in mind, Kakashi buries his masked face into his palms and releases a distraught sob. "I'm so sorry, Tōsan! For Obito's sake, I was never going to tell you the truth, but Obito himself has left me no choice." He faces his father, faux tears dribbling down his cheeks. "You see, he is an orphan and abandoned by his clan, doomed to loneliness his whole life. The solitude was so great he developed two different personalities, one dumber than ramen and another so bitter, you'd spit him right back out."

Kakashi isn't even sure what he's spewing at this point, but he knows that look of absolute concentration, his father leaning forward with thin lips and a furrowed brow. He has the man's full attention. "I'm the only one who knows and the one person willing to befriend him." Kakashi sniffs and swipes an arm across his face. "So please, Tōsan, don't hate Obito for his nastiness. He doesn't mean it, honest."

There's no way he'll fall for that, Obito thinks while watching the display, this is Hatake Sakumo we're talking abou-

"Oh, how tragic!"

A chibi-Obito perched on his shoulder falls, legs in the air.

Obito just sighs. Really, are you serious?

Sakumo is rubbing his own watery eyes, bemoaning about a cruel world and heartless Uchihas and praising his luck to have such a compassionate son. Obito nearly vomits at the spectacle, but he confesses a small part of himself misses those carefree moments acting as Tobi. His brief partnership with Deidara was one of the few batch of memories he frequently revisited.

(He was not ashamed to admit he missed the blond brat. Deidara had grown on him, and his jutsu was always a dramatical spectacle. He was also the funniest to mess with. Deidara's endless ploys to see beneath his swirled mask reminded him of all the times children tried seeing Kakashi's face. Yeah, they never succeeded either.)

Forgoing his inhibitions, Obito flings himself across the table and wraps his arms around the older man's middle. Heightening his pitch to its max, Obito weeps pitifully. "Please don't cry! Tobi sorry! Tobi has no control of Madara! He's too mean to Tobi! Tobi powerless!"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Tobi-chan! It's not your fault!"

What have I done? Kakashi groans in his head, marveling at the sight of his father and best friend embracing with Obito personating a traumatized, child version of Tobi. He must be dreaming.

He has to be.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…