It wasn't guilt, exactly.

After all, those days were long gone.

But Glory still never knew how she was supposed to react whenever her day was rudely interrupted by annoying memories that did absolutely nothing to make her life any easier.

Young Glory sat in awkward silence, staring down at the cold, rocky floor as she listened to Tsunami's excited chattering about Clay. The two dragonets were currently alone in their sleeping cave.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, Starflight is pretty adorable. But he can also be really annoying, y'know?" Tsunami said, in such a matter-of-fact way that Glory wasn't sure if she was expecting an answer or not.

The RainWing glanced up at her. When she only stared back with large eyes, Glory answered, "Sure."

Starflight was annoying sometimes, a bit, she supposed. She didn't think she'd ever found him as annoying as Tsunami did, judging by how often the SeaWing whined at him, but honestly she just wanted this conversation to end already.

"Clay is never annoying," Tsunami went on, completely unaware. "And he's so sweet! And very handsome. And he doesn't start an argument with me over every ridiculously pointless little thing ever."

She paused to roll her eyes and take another big breath. "ANYWAY, that's why I've decided that I'd much rather marry Clay than Starflight, if I had to choose." The sea dragon stifled a snort. "Not that I have any other options, until we get out of here."

Glory stiffened a bit. She kept her gaze down on her scales for a moment, making sure nothing was rippling through them that she'd rather keep to herself. Though, it wasn't especially likely that Tsunami would be able to decipher the meanings behind her colors. Or even care enough to try. Or so Glory hoped.

"Heh. Yeah," she nervously replied.

Tsunami blinked, and narrowed her eyes at her.

For a horrible moment, Glory thought she might have assumed wrong. But then her friend brightened into a curious smile, and tilted her head slightly.

"So what about you?" she asked.

"What?" Glory said, nearly surprised.

Tsunami giggled, as if she thought it was cute that Glory had reacted that way. Cute in the way Glory didn't appreciate. "Well, I just told you all about my feelings. Haven't you ever crushed on Clay or Starflight?"

Glory only stared at her in silence.

After the awkward pause, she opened her mouth, trying to find words. But nothing came out.

"Uhm," she barely managed.

Very luckily, in just the nick of time, a tiny SandWing came barreling into their sleeping cave. Sunny slammed into Tsunami, giggling, and Tsunami let out a startled yelp as both dragonets toppled to the floor. Silently, Glory sighed with relief. It wasn't until the tip of her tail relaxed that she realized how tightly coiled it had been.

"Oof! Sunny! What in three moons is wrong with you!?" Tsunami said. She pushed their smaller friend off and picked herself back up with a huff.

"Sorry." Sunny drooped a little, actually looking pretty apologetic for a second. But in the next second, she perked up again. "I was just coming to get you. We're playing tribes again and we need a SeaWing queen!"

Tsunami, suddenly alert, straightened herself and puffed her chest with a proud grin. "Oh?"

"C'mon!" the golden dragonet giggled, then happily turned to Glory. "You too, Glory! It's always more fun with all of us." She flicked her harmless tail and darted out of the sleeping cave. Tsunami followed after her, leaving Glory alone to recover from their previous discussion, if only for a moment.

But as thankful as she was for that moment, Glory couldn't help but wonder just how Tsunami would react, if she ever found out the truth.

It had never been Clay or Starflight.

It had always been Tsunami.

Which, quite frankly, had always been just as frustrating as it had been alluring. Of ALL the dragons Glory could have fallen for in her younger years under the mountain. Tsunami. Loud, bossy, obnoxiously self-assured Tsunami. The only dragon who could be more insufferable than Deathbringer. Nothing about that crush had ever made a lick of sense to her.

And yet, she could vividly remember a time in her life in which secretly brooding over Tsunami had felt just as natural to her as being a RainWing dragonet. Even knowing all too painfully well that she would never be loved back.

She was very relieved that time was over.

So why in Pyrrhia the sassy SeaWing was on her mind so much lately, Glory had no idea.

Perhaps she just couldn't help wondering how different things might be for her now if she'd ended up with someone other than Deathbringer.

Ouch.

That definitely was guilt.

Glory fidgeted her wings as tiny specks of aubergine trickled down her spine. As far as she knew, she was alone right now, but she still hurried to chase the color away.

It wasn't that she didn't love her mate. She focused for a moment, on the memories of beckoning chills and butterflies that took her breath away. The way she could listen to his stupid, sexy voice and look at his stupid, smarmy face all day if time would allow it. But, almost as quickly as she'd allowed Deathbringer into the dusty nook of her heart that had once been reserved for Tsunami...so much had changed.

"Hey."

The queen started out of her daydreams at the sudden interruption.

She blinked a couple of times before turning her attention to the very dragon who also happened to be the star of those daydreams.

Deathbringer offered her a kind smile. "Would you mind a bit of company?"

The RainWing couldn't help another blink as she wrinkled her brow, pretty taken aback by such words. She resisted the urge to ask for clarification that she did, in fact, have a choice in the matter. And for a moment, she only stared at him.

Don't lash out, Glory berated herself early. He's...trying.

"Go ahead," she said in the end. She dipped her head to him before budging over so he could lie down next to her on the royal pavilion platform. Gingerly, the NightWing did just that.

Things in the Rainforest had quieted down a lot since the commotion a few days ago. Glory had sent a few of her guards to investigate, as promised, but the only information they'd managed to uncover were the names of the accused and the accuser. No evidence whatsoever. That hadn't surprised Glory, of course. She was pretty sure Fireclaws was just doing that really annoying tribeist NightWing thing. And poor Cashew had just been unfortunate enough to be passing by when she'd needed someone else to blame for her own mishaps.

Glory inhaled the warming scents of rainfall and sunkissed leaves, focusing on the peace around her instead, for now. The quiet drip-dropping from sprinkling clouds above the canopy was just about the only sound she could hear apart from a few chirping insects and birds hiding nearby. One wouldn't expect even a hint of hostility in her kingdom on days like these.

She exhaled softly, and turned again to her mate. "Any exciting news, then?"

To her surprise, Deathbringer then lifted his gaze to the sky with a rather amused-looking expression.

"Well," he began. "Believe it or not, we just caught a few naughty dragonets sneaking back from their adventures through the tunnel to the Kingdom of Sand."

Glory blinked her eyes wide, startled. "Three moons! Should we set up some kind of punishment? ...We've got to find a way to block that thing off."

"Being lost in the desert with no water for a couple of days seems to be punishment enough, I'd say," he said with a shrug. Then with a cheeky little grin, he added, "They're already telling the other dragonets how dreadful it was."

The queen fluttered her wings a bit as she settled herself and the starbursts of green in her scales. Punishment enough or not... "That still sounds very dangerous. Especially for dragonets," she replied.

"Indeed," Deathbringer said with a nod. His teasing nature appeared to be put on hold as he gathered his next words. "Which is why I've been thinking. Perhaps we should consider adding some sort of...combat training? survival tactics? to the school curriculums? Hm?"

With an arched brow, Glory eyed him up and down. "What, like an assassin's club or something?"

The NightWing rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hide his amusement at her joke. "More like self-preservation club. Forgive me for any disrespect, but, without the constant support of their terribly clever sleeping darts, I'm not sure how well our RainWings fare in life-threatening situations. Although, if Your Highness insists on an assassin's club as well...I am a professional."

Glory blinked slowly at the winning smile and slight bow of the head he finished with. He wasn't wrong. But she was also enjoying this conversation. Tease-matches with Deathbringer in the midst of serious matters were always nice. As long as he didn't try to touch her. Or follow her every single step.

"Sounds like you expect to be the president of this, self-preservation club," she pointed out.

"So it's a go, then?" he said, sounding very pleased with himself. "I knew you'd see it my way. You are a sensible dragon, after all."

Glory gave him a rather significant look. "Excuse me? Did I say that?"

"Oh, don't worry, love. We can just say it was your idea. I don't mind at all," he boldly answered her.

The queen snorted.

"Though I must say," he went on. "Having me run this department would definitely have its benefits, if that is your wish. I am great with kids. And all that experience training them will surely come in quite handy for training my own someday as well."

As Deathbringer ended his sentence, Glory felt the unmistakable sensation of a wing creeping its way over her back.

She froze.

And then her mate's words finally sunk in.

Before Glory even found time to reconsider first instincts, her reflexes kicked in; she started swiftly away from the affection, sitting up to ensure her success as tiny spark waves of dark emerald raced along her wings and ruff. But that was all it took to completely change the atmosphere around them both. Glory kept her hard stare on the leaf platform below her even after her panic subsided. She really didn't want to see the pain in Deathbringer's eyes.

An abrasive silence fell over them.

She soon stammered, "I'm not having dragonets. Not anytime soon."

"I-I didn't mean soon. I was just—"

"I know," she said. "I'm sorry, Deathbringer. I need to be alone."

Glory got to her talons and ready to excuse herself, still avoiding his gaze. She felt twin stabs of guilt and annoyance as Deathbringer worriedly scrambled up beside her.

"Where are you going!?" he demanded.

Finally, she glared his way. "Please don't follow me."

She didn't wait for another response, even if she could hear her mate calling to her as she took to the trees. Though to her surprise, his calls quickly grew quiet, and she wasn't chased by the sounds of frantically rustling branches.

He was definitely trying.

But not hard enough, echoed the part of her mind that indeed knew exactly what he'd been doing.

Not that she blamed him for wanting things to be the way they used to be again, before she'd started taking extra measures to avoid him, and confessed her feelings about being touched by him. Nothing about his attempts to test the waters were unnatural or unexpected. He just couldn't seem to realize how much she didn't appreciate such advances.

He also couldn't seem to realize that she'd only told him a filtered version of the truth that day.

Oh, how she wanted to be as deeply in love with him as she had been with the idea of him, before they'd decided to pursue anything serious. She didn't know why she wasn't anymore.

Don't I, though? whispered her traitorous thoughts.

Glory stopped when she reached a comely clearing decorated with iridescent plants and a wide vine walkway, that looked sufficient enough to provide her with the stillness she so desperately needed. The last thing she wanted right now was the distracting fog of another frustrating memory. But as hard as she tried to focus on anything else, her brain only continued to betray her.

"So...you're serious about Deathbringer? Like...this is for real?"

Starflight's bold question was instantly followed by a wave of awkward surprise. Glory, for one, had no clue how to answer. She'd never actually expected to be asked about such a thing in the first place. Especially by him.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she finally said.

The NightWing's brow furrowed under the bandage that covered his eyes. Carefully, he asked, "And it definitely wouldn't have anything to do with the politics of intertribal relations?"

The tone of honest skepticism in Starflight's voice made Glory cringe with something she'd never felt towards him before. Surely he couldn't be...

She snapped before she could stop herself, almost instinctively.

"What are you getting at, Starflight?"

He froze.

Then he sighed.

"You're mad now, aren't you?" he asked miserably. "Look...I'm not trying to criticize your personal life. I just... I know..."

A few ripples of ruby and emerald crept slowly up the back of Glory's neck.

"You know what?" She dared him to continue.

He went silent for another moment, tilting his head down and away nervously, even if there was no way he could look into her face anymore if he wanted to. His black talons fidgeted slightly.

Glory wasn't sure if her intuition was entirely right. But she was pretty sure it wasn't wrong.

She and Starflight had never actually spoken about her past feelings for Tsunami (or his past crush on Clay, for that matter), but there had always been an uncanny level of understanding between the two of them. Far too easily, she could recall the countless little moments they'd shared back under the mountain: all the bashful, knowing glances and silent gestures born from relatable experiences. He was the only other dragon who'd ever known anything about her deepest secret.

And now he had the nerve to act like that gave him grounds to question her romantic choices? As if it was any of his business at all.

"Glory, I just care about you, okay?" he said. "I don't want to see you forcing yourself into a relationship. With anyone. For any reason."

Glory hoped she was glaring hard enough for him to feel it through every stupid scale.

"And why would you rudely assume that that's what I'm doing?"

"Because, you're—" he stopped, clearing his throat awkwardly. "You don't— Do you even like males?"

She could certainly think of one male she didn't like right now. But she knew that wasn't what he was talking about.

"I like Deathbringer," she hissed. "And I'm not forcing myself into anything. Not that it's any of your concern."

Starflight winced at her response, and immediately started stammering back. "I-I know it's not! I'm sorry. My intentions were not to upset you. If I'm totally wrong to be concerned, all you have to do is tell me, and I'll shut up and go away. Believe me, I'd much rather just be happy for you."

Any attempt to stifle her contempt, Glory was done with.

"Okay, great. You're totally wrong. So shut up, and go away."

He was definitely wrong.

He had to be wrong.

Even if she still felt pretty guilty about how she'd reacted to his blatant wrongness. He hadn't meant any harm, after all. That she knew. Maybe she hadn't known at the time. But she knew him. And he definitely knew her, probably better than any of her other friends.

So why in Pyrrhia then, would he assume she only liked females, based on one crush? Did she seem like that type of dragon? What did gay dragons even seem like?

Glory thought bitterly about Starflight's other past crush, on Sunny. She'd never questioned him about that. Of course, Sunny had been his first and longest crush; she wasn't even sure if he was over it yet, despite having Fatespeaker now.

...Did he think she'd been secretly in love with Sunny, too?

No. He certainly wouldn't have reacted to that theory well. She couldn't recall a single instance of him giving her the same jealous looks he'd always shot at Clay whenever he'd caught the MudWing cuddling with Sunny. Admittedly, it'd been pretty hilarious when all that jealousy became muddled with everything else he was feeling and she could never tell whether he was more annoyed with Clay or himself.

But, her point to herself was: if he could fall for a female or a male, why couldn't she? Where was the logic? With a brain as big as his, she'd have thought Starflight would be using it instead of making misguided assumptions about his perfectly capable friends.

The only problem she had with Deathbringer was that she'd simply had enough of him lately. There were no other factors involved. All she needed was an actual break from his constant barrage of caring-way-too-much, and everything was bound to be back to normal in no time.

But how am I going to get one?

Should I give him something else to do?

Like the 'self-preservation' club?

Glory felt her tail coiling up at the memory of Deathbringer's hinted desires of future dragonets with her.

Suddenly, the sharp sounds of snapping tree branches, loudly rustling leaves, and a piercing shout tore the queen away from her brooding. She was even more startled when a dragon the color of raspberries narrowly missed crashing right on top of her on the vine walkway she'd been crossing. Glory jumped back, flaring her wings just as her older brother skidded to a rather graceless flop, only a short distance in front of her.

"AGHK!" Jambu cried, but almost immediately dissolved into painfully helpless giggles. "Oh, ouch."

"Um, JAMBU!?" Glory voiced her disbelief, bristling.

The pink dragon groaned as he rolled over onto his back, and looked her way with an upside down grin. "Hey, sis! Wow, I didn't think I'd—ughhf—bump into you here." A tangle of vines and canary yellow flowers held him prisoner as he struggled to get to his feet again.

"What in Pyrrhia was that?" Glory demanded. Worries abandoned, she hurried to his side to help him up. Once he could, Jambu gently shook himself from horns to tail, scattering leaves and flower petals around them.

"Oh...! No worries!" he cheerfully replied. He shrugged his wings, but couldn't help wincing a bit, and Glory wondered how badly injured he actually was from that fall. He continued in a surprisingly casual tone, "It's a pretty great story, though! One of the dragonets I was teaching earlier today asked me what it would be like to slingshot yourself across the forest. So then later I couldn't stop thinking, hmm! What would it be like to slingshot yourself across the forest?"

Glory rolled her eyes. "Aaaand you were crazy enough to actually do it. Right?"

"Yep!" Jambu said proudly.

"Great."

"It's really great!" her brother laughed as gleeful swirls of indigo danced with the bright magenta in his scales. "Now I can tell that kid all about it! He'll be stoked! Totally worth it."

The queen blinked, and skeptically, she arched a brow. "Is it a good idea to get a dragonet that excited about something this dangerous? You're not worried that he might try to do it on his own next?"

"Eh, he'll be fine. He's not dumb. And it's not that dangerous!"

"Jambu," Glory argued sternly. "He could get hurt. You could have gotten hurt. It's sort of my job to make sure my dragons don't get hurt."

And that's when a new idea struck her like lightning.

notes

a big wow, thanks to all my readers thus far!

hopefully none of you are homophobic. cus if so, i'll have to ask that you ever so kindly, get off my lawn.