Revamped Series Edit Completed: 31 July 2017
Toying With The Past Is What We Do
Chapter Thirteen
Academy Jutsu Are Bullshit, Aren't They?
Graduating is a simple process… in theory.
Because apparently, when an S-ranked shinobi is reverted to the body of a child, they are suddenly crap at the simplest of jutsu. Need a gigantic fireball- easy. A water dragon capable of drowning hundreds- here you go. An avalanche of rocks- why not. A powerful gust of wind to dry someone off- pfft, of course. An awesome thunder storm- let's do it!
A standard trio of clones… uh, yeah. No, wait-! Let's try again! Okay, one more time. Another! Again…!
…Yeah, even Naruto would have aced this by now.
Kakashi glares at his single, translucent and slack-faced clone lying spread eagle on the ground. Dammit all.
Across from him, Obito is participating in a staring contest… with a log. Kakashi knows Obito will lose.
How?
Because he's psychic.
(Not because the battle is against an inanimate object, obviously.)
Obito's eyes are glazed over, his eyebrows dipped as low as possible in his attempt to be victorious over this dirty, moss-covered piece of tree. His hands are whiter than snow after being in the ram seal for so long – three minutes to be precise – and his arms and shoulders quiver with the strain. This log is his bitch and it will do as he says!
RIGHT now.
Right NOW.
RIGHT NOW.
NOW…!
Kakashi sweatdrops as Obito tackles the bark with an enraged screech, biting and scratching with his red, pinwheel eyes spinning like a vortex. Carnivorous snarling erupts from his mouth, his nose bunched in a rippled effect and his vampire-like fangs carving irregular patterns into the wood.
Watching his mentally insane best friend, Kakashi doesn't notice the thing coming up from behind until a bulky, yet long shadow envelops his kid-body.
The masked ninja tenses. He twirls with a kunai in hand and readies an attack until he realizes what has approached him.
A kitten.
But how is that possible? The shadow had belonged to something bigger than a pint-sized fur ball.
The creature mewls, a cute sound. Captivated by its adorableness, he questions nothing else and drops to his knees, about to pet the feline.
Obito's animalistic cries fade just as the kitten lifts onto its hind legs and roars. The tiny jaw grows twice the normal size, the top and bottom unhinging with one-inch serrated fangs lengthening to six-inches and more until its jagged tongue and the inside of its cheeks are completely shielded from sight.
Kakashi screams at a higher frequency than anyone in history and collapses to his butt, hands sliding him backwards bit by bit on the grass of the training ground before managing to get back on his feet and flee from the monster following him and someone please help him, it's a demon…!
He glances back, his heart beating enough for a possible heart attack, but at that moment, Kakashi runs head-first into a tree.
The time traveler stands stunned, and then faints.
...
Kakashi comes to with chortling blasting in his ears.
He knows he has been played when he finds Obito on his stomach, banging his fist on the ground with tears dribbling down his reddened cheeks with another Obito clawing the air, hissing.
Damn shadow clones…
Wait-
"Obito?"
The two Uchiha look-a-likes freeze. They turn to his collapsed form with guilty grins.
"Yeah?"
"That was the Henge Jutsu," he inanely points out.
Obito times two shrugs. "It was all I could manage of the three Academy jutsu," they reply simultaneously.
Kakashi stares dumbly. "But that doesn't make any sense!" he finally screams, frustrated.
As he mutters curses, Obito suggests, "Maybe we can substitute the Bunshin with Kage Bunshin." His shadow clone disperses, the real Obito wiping the tears of amusement from his face and kicking the log that still refuses to trade places with him.
"It isn't difficult to distinguish between a solid clone and an illusion, Obito."
A scoff. "We're dealing with low-level Chūnin, Bakashi. The only reason they teach at the Academy is because it's all they're good for."
"Wow," Kakashi breathes, though he is unsurprised. Had he known Umino Iruka personally like Naruto, he may have fought in their defense, but instead, he just declares, "You, are a jerk."
Obito rolls his eyes at the back of his companion ambling away, and he leisurely follows, whistling a random tune as loud and obnoxious as possible behind Kakashi.
Obito: 2 and Kakashi: 0