"Oh, I hate this!"
Much wrinkled his nose in disgust at the foul, stale odor coming from his disguise. "Unbelievable! You expect us to be...to be...What's the word that means unnoticed?"
"Discreet," Robin told him, pulling the hood of his leper's robe lower over his forehead. "Surreptitious. Invisible."
"I don't see how we can be...can be...be surrup-whatever and all that, with bells tied around our ankles!"
"Shut up!" Allan warned him. "For a leper who's supposed to be meek and humble, you're full of hot air!"
"Well! And you're full of-"
"Shh!" Robin warned, raising a hand meant to calm them. "Allan's right, Much. If we're going to pull this off, we need to act like lepers."
"What are the bells for, Robin?" Will asked.
Without taking his eyes off the scene unfolding in Nottingham Castle's outer bailey, Robin explained. "In the Holy Land, lepers are required to wear bells, to warn people they're coming."
Allan couldn't help scoffing. "Not bein' funny, but isn't announcing our entrance something we normally try to avoid? Do you really think the sheriff will welcome a gang of lepers anywhere near him?" In his best Vaisey impersonation, Allan mocked, " 'Come in! Sit down! Have some cakes and ale! Don't let my birds peck your eyes out, not until I recognize you anyway, and hang you by your necks!' "
"Nobody's getting hanged, Allan," Robin assured him. "Trust me!"
"I still don't see why we have to wear these revolting disguises," Much complained. "Wouldn't it be easier to simply sneak into the castle, the way we always do, and spy on the sheriff that way?"
"It would," Robin agreed. "But where would be the fun in that?"
Before Allan, Much, or Will could answer with their objections, Robin defended his plan, clarifying, "We're safer this way. Trust me! Nobody, least of all the sheriff, will look twice at a band of lepers. In fact, as soon as we're detected, everyone in Nottingham will look the other way! Nobody wants to look upon their fellow-man suffering such a fate. There's the sheriff! Come on, lads! Work to do! Shuffle your feet, and whatever you do, keep your faces hidden!"
Robin's plan was twofold. He really did hope his men would "earn" fat purses from Nottingham's privileged by begging, the contents of which he would then turn over to the poor, but mostly he wanted to be able to get close the sheriff, and discover what evil he was currently plotting. Not having seen nor heard from Marian lately made him realize just how much he depended on her to keep him informed.
Marian! In spite of ordering his men to keep their faces hidden, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She looked breathtakingly beautiful in her simple, woolen gown, and he forgot his mission for a few moments, revelling in the exquisite beauty of her expressive eyes, her lustrous skin, her ruby lips, her proud carriage, and her perfect curves.
Robin could have rejoiced in the sight of her, but he didn't. Something was upsetting her, he realized, noting the frown on her pouting lips. Unhappiness dwelt in Marian's eyes, and Robin took it upon himself to know the reason.
He was able to venture a guess, when Guy of Gisbourne strode past him, taking his place possessively at Marian's side. Scowling, Robin urged every muscle in his lithe, taut body to listen.
"Your father did not come?" Gisbourne hazarded a guess, trying to win back her regard with interested concern.
"He was not up to listening to whatever you and the sheriff have planned," she coldly answered him, "no more than I am."
Robin's lips curled into a smile. Take that, Gisbourne, he smirked. She'll never love you, no matter how hard you try, with all your clumsy attempts at wooing.
All at once, Sheriff Vaisey's gloating voice broke through Robin's thoughts.
"Ah! Gisbourne! Making nicey nicey with your leper friend, hmm?"
The mention of the word "leper" brought Robin back to his senses. Quickly, he scanned the crowd, spotting John and Djaq blending furtively into the populace, handing out coins, while Will, Much, and Allan shuffled slowly through the crowd, which parted and scattered at their approach.
Just as Robin had predicted, the people of Nottingham averted their eyes from his men, safe in their leper disguises. Deciding it was past time he joined them, Robin cast one last look in Marian's direction, catching his breath when her eyes met and held his.
He saw her flush upon recognizing him, the color flooding her cheeks most attractively. He needed to be more careful, lest he also draw Gisbourne's attention.
There were few things he liked so well as being bold, especially with Marian as his audience, and so, lifting up a voice seemingly weakened by disease, he croaked aloud, "Alms! Gentlemen, Ladies of Nottingham! Take pity on a poor soul and spare a ha'penny!"
A fake fit of coughing drew all eyes away from him, just as he desired. All eyes, that is, except for Marian's. Hers first shot him an urgent, questioning look, then rolled upward and around, as her expression hardened.
"Take this!" Martin of Aylesbury's voice quavered in fear, as he tossed a full purse at Robin's feet. "Just go, and leave us alone!" More purses rained at Robin's feet, not out of charity, but as a means to send him away.
Very generous, Aylesbury, Robin thought smugly to himself. Let's see if Gisbourne can match your generosity.
His jealousy made him bolder than he ought to have been, for he began shuffling right up to Gisbourne.
"What are these lepers doing here?" Vaisey demanded, angrily.
Gisbourne sneered an answer. "They appear to be begging, my lord."
"I KNOW THEY'RE BEGGING!" the sheriff screamed. "Somebody, get them out of here! GUARDS! GUARDS! Get those lepers out of my castle, or I'll lock you in a cell with them!"
When the guards wouldn't budge, too frightened to get too close to the "lepers," Robin, having reached the platform that held Gisbourne, the sheriff, and Marian, pretended to suffer another fit of coughing, then wheezed, "Alms, my lord sheriff?"
"I'm not going to pay you," the sheriff sneered, disgustedly.
"Pay him, Guy," Marian ordered, unable to resist taking part in the game. "After all, it's only by the grace of God we aren't afflicted."
Angrily, but wanting to please her, Gisbourne pulled forth a few coins and flung them to the ground at Robin's feet. "Go!" he fumed, barely daring to breathe what he believed was infected air.
"Rest assured, your generosity will buy me another bandage or two," Robin mockingly said. Bending down, he scooped up the three coins Gisbourne had spared, kissing them as he managed an audacious wink directed at Marian.
So smitten was he, Robin didn't notice Much's anxiety bubble over, with just cause. The sheriff's eagle eyes had recognized Robin's round, tight little backside as the outlaw bent down to pick up the coins.
"Not so fast, my friend," Vaisey ordered, his voice oily with evil excitement. "Watch and learn, Gisbourne! This is how you really kiss a leper!"