Hey guys! I had a great response to the last chapter so thank you so much, it means a lot:)
Obviously pretty much everyone doesn't want Brittany to be the donor, which I'm not surprised! I hope this chapter is ok because I have completely changed what I was doing with this story for you guys so let me know if I've screwed it up:/
Dafuq33: All will be revealed soon! ;)
xSantanaAndBrittanyAreMyLife x: Not sure you're going to be overly happy with my decision, but I can promise you it's not what it seems;)
v1vr: Thankyou so much! It's nice to know someone else out there likes tragic stories too. My favourite stories are the ones that are unexpected and leave me feeling kind of sad. Which is weird I know but for some reason they feel more real than the ones that are all fluff. Thanks for reviewing!
BumbaMumbaJimJams: noted:) and I definitely appreciate your thoughts. Hopefully you won't be disappointed with the outcome.
Imaginaringly real: thank you so very much! Although I semi feel bad for making you cry:/ haha.
Guest: My thoughts exactly! Haha I think you will be pleased with the outcome in the next few chapters.
Glee4ever123: well I can't have you being depressed! Although this chapter may not have the happy answers you are looking for…I promise those happy answers will come! :) thank you so much for reviewing!
girl-otaku: You will find out in the chapters to come! :)
Staubbb21: I'm with you! hope you enjoy the update:)
The door to his office came flying open with not so much as a knock, the only warning being the loud thumping footsteps trudging down the hall. Dr. Lopez only found the strength to lift his head from his hands in acknowledgement of the man now standing in front of him.
'You bastard, you did this! You killed my baby girl!' Dr. Lopez watched on with saddened eyes as James Pierce stormed around his office, pacing back and forth in front of his desk and waving a piece of paper around like a sword. He watched on until Mr. Pierce finally came to a stand still and pounded his fists firmly to his desk. 'What do you have to say for yourself?!'
Dr. Lopez looked clearly into the eyes of a broken man. A man who he had always known to be kind and gentle, much like his daughter, and now he stood in front of him with eyes redder than the sun and a look which would give anyone shivers down their spine.
Dr. Lopez bowed his head. They must have found Brittany's letters…
'I'm sorry.' He breathed quietly into the silence of the room. He lifted his head back up to see Mr. Pierce shaking his frantically.
'Not good enough.' James said sternly. 'Tell me what gives you the right to exchange my daughters life for yours huh? What is your daughter better than ours?!' James threw his hands up in the air, Brittany's letter flapping wildly in the wind he caused.
'It was Brittany's choice.' Lopez answered. 'She came to me to help her.'
'And I bet you were all too fucking willing to jump in and help weren't you?!' James yelled as he slammed his fists back down onto the neatly organized desk. A few pieces of stray paper flew off the sides, but Lopez didn't even have the energy to flinch.
'She was going to do it with or without my help.' He reasoned weakly. 'I figured this way it would be effective and safe.'
'What part of this whole arrangement was safe for her?!' James leant forward on his fists so his face was mere inches away from the man cowering in his seat. 'She's dead because of you!'
Dr. Lopez let his eyes fall to the neglected files stacked neatly upon his desk. He held no intention of opening those files anytime soon, he could barely hold his eyes open long enough to look Mr. Pierce in the eye. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept, even before Santana went in for surgery he spent his nights on the phone, or researching, or simply lying in bed next to his sleeping wife pondering what kind of man he had turned into. He still wonders how he is yet to pay for his sins.
'I know.' Dr. Lopez finally breathes. ' I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do.' He slumps his shoulders forward and runs a shaking hand through his thinning dark hair. For months he had been neglecting these nagging thoughts at the back of his mind that Brittany was more than just a helpful kid, that she was a friend, a lover, and a daughter. He neglected her just like for so many years he had neglected his own daughter. He could have fixed this when they were kids. He should have known. He should have seen the signs. He's a doctor for Christ sake and he didn't even realise what his own daughter was going through!
' I-I couldn't watch my daughter die and not do anything. I'm so sorry.' Lopez shook his head slowly as tears spilled from his tired eyes. He deserved this. He deserved all of it, and he would accept any punishment that seemed fit for him. He was done.
'Just so you know –' Dr. Lopez lifted his head slightly at the unexpected soft tone coming from the man before him. He watched as the fists clenched against his desk gently loosened until they were simply resting against the wooden furniture. '- the only reason I'm not ripping your head off right now is because Brittany begged me not to in her letter. But if you so much as step out of line once –' James held a threatening finger in the air. '- don't think I won't hesitate. Got it?'
Lopez couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Brittany's father sparing him? But why? If the roles were reversed he would most certainly already have his hardened hands securely wrapped around this man's neck, how could he just let him go like that? Dr. Lopez looked curiously into the eyes of Mr. Pierce and like a light bulb turning on it was all suddenly clear. He had the eyes of the most peculiar girl he had ever met, Brittany had to get her strength and childlike positivity from somewhere…
'Got it?!' Mr. Pierce repeated angrily. Lopez snapped from his thoughts and instantly nodded his head.
'Yes.'
'Good.' James sighed. He pushed himself upright from the desk with the palms of his hands. Lopez watched as he folded Brittany's letter in half and tucked it into his back pocket while his other hand ran nervously through his short blonde curly hair. 'How's Santana?' Mr. Pierce asked after a moment's pause.
Once again Lopez was taken aback by this man. After everything he had done to his daughter, now the man still held the decency to ask about the welfare of his own. He cleared his throat of left over tears before answering. 'She should be waking up soon. The surgery went well.'
James took this information in slowly and nodded firmly after a few minutes. 'Let me know when she wakes up, my wife and I would like to see her.'
Suddenly it dawned on Lopez what this meeting could mean. The power the Pierce's had at this moment was far too great. What if they were to tell Santana all about Brittany's choices? If she found out Santana would lose it, or worse than lose it, if her new heart has not recovered properly from surgery and she was put under such emotional stress…the results could be fatal.
'Uh Mr. Pierce?' Lopez stumbled out quickly as he noticed the man making his way towards the door.
'Don't worry Lopez.' James sighed exhaustedly. 'Brittany has already forbidden us from telling her. Believe it or not we actually care about your daughter, would have been nice if you cared about ours.'
Lopez felt a flood of relief enter his body only to be overpowered by a surge of pain seconds later. He nodded apologetically to the broken father in front of him. 'Thankyou.'
'How long do you think you're going to be able to keep this a secret from Santana? Last I remember that girl would cross this country on foot to be with Brittany.' James asked as he found his hand clasped securely around the office door knob. He turned back to stare into the eyes of the biggest coward he had ever known and shook his head. 'Sooner or later she's going to find her answers.'
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Santana walked slowly through the field of white daisies. She had never seen so many in her life. If she looked around she could see that the field went on for miles into the sunset. When she looked up she could see that the stars and the moon were already out and looking down over her. There were no clouds so she could clearly see each star sparkle bright. She smiled to herself when her eyes caught sight of a brightly coloured rainbow off to her right. How could a rainbow be out in the sky now? It wasn't even raining?
Just as this thought hit her she felt a small droplet of water tap her on the shoulder. It wasn't cold but she still found herself pulling her jacket tighter against her chest. Her cheerio's jacket? Since when was she back on the cheerio's? coach must have changed her mind…
As she continued walking Santana found herself reaching down to touch one of the daisies and to her delight as soon as she made contact the daisy turned its colour to a bright yellow, just like the sun. She watched with a wide grin as a row of daisies turned yellow before her. Santana wasn't sure why but she decided to follow this trail of yellow daises which appeared to run directly over the mountain in front of her.
She followed it for what should have been hours, but it only seemed to take her a few minutes, until suddenly the daises stopped and soon her feet were walking along a long dirt road. Santana looked left down this road, but only saw further fields of daises. When she looked to her right however, she noticed a young girl sitting quietly a few metres in front of her and facing the opposite way. Santana's feet instantly began taking her forward and towards this lonely girl.
She could hear the gravel crunch beneath her feet rather loudly but the girl didn't once turn around to look at who was making all the noise. Why was this girl on the road? Santana edged closer and soon she could see over the girl's shoulder. The girl held a small digital alarm clock in her hand, she was cradling it in front of her and staring intensely at the numbers flashing wildly across the screen. Santana scrunched her nose up in confusion. The numbers weren't going in the usual order, they were not going forwards or backwards in time, they were just flashing different numbers at random it seemed, with no understandable sequence.
Santana came even closer and sat down next to the girl, cross legged just like she was, and finally got a glimpse of the child's face. She gasped at what she saw. It was Brittany. Not Brittany now, but ten year old Brittany with her wispy blonde bangs and rosy cheeks.
'Britt?' Santana found herself asking. 'Why are you sitting in the middle of the road?' she looked around. There didn't appear to be any cars, but it was still worrying. Little Brittany didn't reply, her focus was entirely on the clock in her hands.
'Brittany?' Santana tried again.
'I'm waiting for you.' Brittany said quietly, not taking her eyes away from the clock for a second. Santana was even more confused.
'Ok well I'm here now?' She tried. Brittany didn't answer. Suddenly the numbers stopped and the clock admitted a glowing white light. It was so bright Santana was squinting to shield her eyes. 'Britt what's happening?' she asked. Finally Brittany met her gaze with a toothy wide grin and shiny blue eyes.
'It's time for you to wake up San.'
'Santana, come on darling wake up for me.'
Santana was still staring into the blinding white light, but she felt it slowly grow dimmer, until eventually she could make out outlines of objects around her. She blinked her eyes slowly until she could recognize the figure standing over her.
'Mama?' Santana croaked, her voice felt so coarse, nothing like it felt when she was talking to Brittany. Wait…Brittany? Was that all a weird dream?
Her thoughts were cut off when her mother began gasping and fussing about by her bedside like she wasn't quite sure what was happening. Santana would have laughed if her body wasn't aching so much.
'Oh sweet Jesus. Santana oh –uh Carlos – oh my Lord – someone help! Come quick!' Maria called frantically. She began fussing with the leads connected to Santana like that would help her in some way. 'Oh Santana, darling hold on ok?'
A moment later her father came bursting through the door. His eyes looked tired and bloodshot. Santana wondered how long it had been since he slept.
'Santana! How do you feel sweetheart?' He asked as he went to the opposite side of her bed as her mother. Santana could have sworn she saw a ghost of a relieved smile in his aged features. Had he always had so many wrinkles?
Before she could reply another figure appeared in her room. Santana had to roll her eyes at the dramatic entrance she made, and when she looked back to her mother she saw she was doing the same thing. Her Abuela raced to her bedside, all but shoving her mother out of the way to be as close as possible to her.
'Oh my Santana, how are you feeling. Hungry?' She asked hurriedly while she rested the back of her hand to Santana's forehead to check her temperature. Maria rolled her eyes again.
'Thirsty.' Santana croaked, remembering how sore her throat was when she woke up.
'Maria give her some water.' Her Abuela demanded. Santana's mother picked up the jug of water by her bedside and poured some water quickly into the cup on her food tray. Apparently she wasn't working fast enough because a second later the cup of water was being yanked from her hands. 'Ugh I'll do it.' Her Grandmother huffed. 'Here you go Santana, drink up.'
Santana brought the cool drink to her cracked lips and took slow sips, letting the smooth liquid glide down her throat and chill the slight burn she felt in her chest. It only occurred to Santana now why her chest ached so badly. At first she thought she had just woken up in the hospital after another one of her attacks, but now she remembers the night her pager flashed red, the night she was raced to the hospital, she went into the operating theatre, and then it all went dark. Her chest was sore yes, but her heart felt different, it pumped to a different rhythm, a steady rhythm. She had a new heart…
'How do you feel now?' Her father asked again.
How does she feel? She knows she should feel happy but something inside of her is restricting that feeling to come through. Instead she just feels…tired.
'Tired?' Santana questioned, hoping it wasn't odd to wake up from a god only knows how long sleep, to suddenly feel like she could go back to sleep again.
'That's normal, you're body needs time to recover.' Her father nodded with that ghost of a smile again. 'Come on, now that she's awake and well I think it would be wise for you two to go home and get some sleep, I'll stay here for when she wakes up.' He ushered to his mother and wife.
'Can't I just stay here and watch her sleep?' Her mother pouted.
Santana scrunched up her nose in disgust, but couldn't help the small smile which splayed across her face. 'Please don't.'
'Come on.' Her father said and edged the two women out of the door before they could complain.
'Dad?' Santana asked quickly before her father too left the room. He turned slowly on his feet with one hand still clasped around the door knob.
'Yes sweety?'
'Where's Brittany?' She asked curiously. Santana was sure Brittany would be the first to see her when she woke up, she could just imagine the girl pacing back and forth down the halls waiting to come in, probably chewing on her nails like she did when she was nervous.
Santana watched as her father's face fell slightly before quickly becoming stoic. He can't still hate Brittany can he? Santana thought he had finally started accepting their relationship. Guess not…
'Not sure, I tried to get a hold of her but I haven't been able to yet.' Her father announced quickly. He softened his eyes before speaking again. 'Just rest for now sweetheart.'
Santana nodded sadly as her father left. She really wished Brittany was there. Maybe she put her phone through the dishwasher again…
Santana smiled lightly to herself just as she felt her eyelids start to flutter closed. She could have a little nap until Brittany arrived…
XXXXXXXXXX
The next day Santana was finally allowed to go home. She was so beyond happy she didn't have to lay around in a hospital bed anymore and have nothing else to think about than what kind of contagious sickness the people in the other rooms held, and how long it would take their sickness to drift into her room. Could germs goes through walls? She'd have to ask Brittany that one…
Brittany. That's something else she's been thinking about a lot lately. Where is she? Brittany still hadn't shown up. This wasn't like her. Santana was starting to think her father really was forbidding Brittany from seeing her. It only made her scowl at him even more as he held the car door open for her. They were home. Santana took in a sigh of relief. No more beeping, no more flashing lights, no more needles, no more nurses waking her up for tests, and most importantly, no more hospital food. Being home also meant her dad had no power over what she did anymore. Nothing was stopping her from going over to Brittany's and showering her with hugs and kisses.
She was alive! She was fucking alive! She bet this whole heart problem shit and now her and Brittany could follow their dreams and live together forever and ever and – omg the possibilities were fucking endless! She had to find Brittany!
Santana launched out of the car and raced into the house with the biggest grin on her face.
'Santana take it easy!' her father yelled after her. Whatever.
Santana crashed into her room and instantly found what she was looking for. Her phone was on her desk next to her packed school bag. She had a little flashback to packing that bag only minutes before having her last attack but she quickly shook her head to rid herself of the image. Santana sprinted to her desk and tapped her phone to bring up the screen. She had three messages. One from Brittany, one from Rachel and one from Quinn. She breathed a sigh of relief and quickly opened the one from Brittany.
FromBrittBritt: Santana I'm so sorry but I have to go. I love you more than the world. My heart will always lie with you. I love you xx
What?...
Santana stood motionless in the middle of her room for minutes just staring at the words in front of her. What did that mean?
I have to go
What the hell was Britt going on about? Go where?
Santana scrunched her face up in confusion and willed the thoughts poking at her mind to fuck off. Brittany would not just leave. She would not leave without saying a proper goodbye. She wouldn't.
Santana felt tears forming in her eyes and quickly shook her head. No, this wasn't happening. This is just some Brittany-ism which she doesn't quite understand. That's all.
Santana looked back to her phone and opened the next couple of messages.
FromWhydoIEvenHaveHerNumber?: Santana! How are you feeling? We heard that your operation was successful and thought we would all come around and celebrate with you! I'll bring my karaoke machine because I'm not sure if you have one:) Love Rachel xx
'Mama?!' Santana yelled through the house.
'Yes dear?!' Maria called back from somewhere downstairs.
'Lock all the doors!'
Santana wasn't sure if her mother heard her because she didn't reply but she figured she would do as she said. I mean she just got out of hospital from heart surgery, she had earned at least a few weeks of sucking up.
Santana opened the next text from Quinn.
FromFabitch: So happy to hear your surgery went well Santana:) Rachel is dragging us to your house as we speak. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Santana rolled her eyes and quickly checked the time to see when that message was sent.
'Fuck.' She groaned. They should be here soon.
'Well good to see that new heart hasn't messed with your attitude.'
Santana whipped her head around in shock to see Quinn smirking as she leant against the door frame to her room. Santana rolled her eyes.
'Shut up Stretchmarks.'
'You know I'm starting to think you don't have any other insults for me.' Quinn quirked her eyebrow before nodding towards the hallway. 'Kurt wants to see you.'
Santana raised her eyebrows in shock and annoyance. Lady face wants to see her? Argh…
'Don't look so excited.' Quinn whispered with a wink and pushed herself off the door frame before heading out of the room. Santana had less than two seconds to brace herself before Kurt came hurtling into the room.
'Santana it's so good to see you!' Kurt squealed and held his arms out wide. Before he could reach her Santana held a finger up in his face telling him to stop right there. 'Sorry.'
'Look Lady face, I really don't care for whatever inspirational greeting card you have to give me or impromptu song you have prepared for your visit. I only have one question for you.' Santana said sternly and watched as Kurt nodded quickly. 'Is Brittany with you?' it came out a lot softer than she expected and she quickly coughed after to cover her shyness. Santana Lopez did not do shy.
'Um actually, I kind of had to talk to you about that..' Kurt said slowly. Santana didn't think she had ever seen his face so pale. He looked like one of those vampires from twilight or a fucking ghost or something. Geez she knew she was a badass but he had never had this much trouble saying something around her.
'Spit it out Casper.' Santana snapped. She didn't have all fucking day.
'Brittany's gone.' Kurt said quickly. His eyes went wide immediately after the confession.
Santana felt all the moisture leave her mouth and her heart suddenly felt heavier in her chest. She braced herself for the attack which was sure to follow, but it never came. She'd have to get used to this whole healthy heart thing.
'What do you mean gone?' she questioned.
'A place opened up for her at that dance school.' Kurt muttered quietly and looked down to his feet. 'I guess she just packed her stuff and left right away, she said she didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone.'
'You spoke with her?' Santana asked suddenly. She desperately tried to blink back the tears which were coating her eyes. She wouldn't cry. She knew this was going to happen sooner or later. She knew she was going to leave.
But she didn't even say goodbye to her…
Kurt shook his head frantically, his hair gel not doing much to keep his hair in place. 'She just sent me the one text the other night, I replied asking her what the hell was going on but she never wrote back.'
Santana slowly staggered back until her calves hit the end of her bed and she slumped down onto the mattress. What the fuck Brittany?
'I can't believe she just left like that.' She spoke quietly. 'She wouldn't do that.' Not to her.
Kurt took a hesitant step forward until he too sat on the bed. He didn't sit too close, but Santana did appreciate the effort he was putting in to make her feel better. 'Apparently she did. But she did warn you about that didn't she?'
Santana sighed. That's true. 'Yeah. I guess I just didn't think it would actually happen…'
Brittany left without her? She's gone? Santana closed her eyes. She knew this had to happen but somewhere inside of her had convinced herself that when the time came Brittany wouldn't be able to just leave her. Brittany especially wouldn't just leave her when she was so sick…would she?
'I'm sure she would be happy to hear you got a transplant.' Kurt prompted with a small smile. Santana shook her head slowly, feeling those tears start to jab at the edge of her eyes.
'She doesn't want me to contact her. Ever. They were the rules.'
'Since when does Santana Lopez live by any rules?' Kurt nudged her shoulder playfully. Santana couldn't bring herself to smile.
'I've always lived by hers…' She whispered.
'Are you okay?' Kurt asked after a moment's silence. He had never seen the Latina so broken. Not even when she was fighting for her life.
'I just need some time to myself for a bit.' Santana stated weakly without looking away from her fiddling hands.
'Got it.' Kurt said quickly and stood from the bed. ' Uh I'll tell everyone to come back another time, you need to rest. I better go stop Rachel from setting up the karaoke machine…'
Santana laughed lightly through her tears and nodded.
'Hey Santana?' Santana lifted her head slightly to look up at Kurt. Surprisingly it was the first time she had looked at him without wanting to punch him in the face. 'I know we haven't been the best of friends. But feel free to call me if you need to talk to someone.'
Santana nodded her head slowly, and surprised herself even more when she actually stored that invitation in her head for later use.
'Thanks.' She whispered. Kurt smiled with a nod and escaped back down the stairs. A couple of minutes later she heard the front door slam, and sighed in relief. She just wanted to be alone right now. Santana laid back on her bed and pulled the covers around her body. She wanted to appear asleep when her mother came back up to check on her.
She pulled the covers tight to her chest, rolled onto her side facing away from the door, and let her tears flow freely from her tired eyes.
Brittany was gone. She's gone.
Got any idea's of what's going on?
Next chapter Lopez is going to spill the beans, and as always…shit will go down.
Let me know what you think beautiful people:)