A/N: Good morning/afternoon/evening...sorry I'm updating a night/day earlier, but I couldn't wait those few hours. Haha! I had zero motivation to work on the first two chapters, but I had abagillion to do this one...so here it is :) so head's up the beginning might b slightly OOC...so a million apologies in advanced! Don't forget to leave reviews!
"Baby I got a love for thee, So deep inside me I don't know where to start," I sang out loud as I poured herself a bowl of cereal. Well, I only sang the parts she remembers. "I love you more than anything, But the words can't even touch what's in my heart." As I start to head back to her room, I sees my mother standing at the kitchen entrance. Knowing I can't really ignore her, I sit on top of the kitchen counter and takes a bite of her cereal, waiting for her to launch into one of her lectures.
"I'm sorry," Janine whispered, not looking up from the floor. I almost choked on my food from disbelief. Looking up, she continued, "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you, but I'm still used to the high school you, and having you away never really gave me a chance to get used to the college you."
"I'm the same person though. You would have known that if you hadn't spent so much time on your cases. I know I know, work is very important to you, and I'm just the mistake that pushed things back a bit."
"It's not that...it's...I don't know how to be a mom, and I never really put the time into trying. Growing up, you were the center of your father's world. He worked from home as much as he could, he moved things around your schedule, he was just there for you. I can't say I tried, because I know I didn't. I put more effort into establishing my career and doing everything I could to get to where I wanted to be."
"Yes, yes, we all know how important becoming Janine Hathaway, FBI badass, has always been more important than being Janine Mazur, exemplary wife and mother. Don't you think that if you would have put the time into trying you might actually learned how to be a mom? No one knows how to be mom. Not even those who have more kids that they can handle."
"I know, but I was scared. I was scared that I wouldn't have that motherly touch or mother intuition and I would fail at being a mother even though I tried. So I turned to something I knew I couldn't fail, my job, and did everything I could to never fail there. I took comfort in your father raising you. I rather you be like him than me."
"Wow, the great Janine Hathaway that puts way serial killers, psychopaths, and terrorists and fears nothing, is in fact scared of something. Of failing."
"Can you cut the sarcasm for two seconds?" she snapped before continuing. "I never planned on getting married and having kids. I didn't believe in the institution of marriage. And I knew having a child would a liability that compromised my job."
"Wow, I'm a liability now."
"That's not what I mean. When I found I was pregnant you became the most important thing for me. I do love you, and your safety became my biggest priority. I was torn between raising you and having you in harm's way because of my job or giving you up so no one would use you against me. Your father's proposal gave me a way to do both. Do you know how I met your father?"
"Yea. At the club. You got drunk. Slept with him. And here we have 20 years later," Rose said, repressing the grimace as she realized how close to reliving history she was last night with Adrian.
"Well the thing is we dated before and after that until I found out I was pregnant."
"Why?"
"Because I left your father. When the doctor told me all these different options came to mind. The first was giving up my career path and pursuing something stabler like a desk job so I could be around and even have a normal family with you and your father. The other allowed me to stay on the path but I would have given you up for adoption or I would have sent enrolled you in the Academy as a boarding student rather than a day student like you were. I was leaning more toward the last two because I didn't know how I felt about your father and I didn't want to feel like I trapped him into this lifestyle. So I left him so he would never find out and I could make the best choice."
"But…"
"But nothing. Your father and I love you, but we have different ways of showing it. I didn't mind being the hard, mean one that never let you have any fun because I didn't want you make a mistake you couldn't fix. I was fine with you hating me as long you got the most out of life and everything went according to how you wanted it because I would have known I did something right with you."
It was silent for a while as I let everything sink in. After a while she turned around and started walking away. Quietly, but loud enough for her to hear me, I asked, "Why are you telling me all this now?"
"Because you're old enough to make your own decisions and I know that you can leave whenever you want. I just don't want you to leave with there being bad blood between us. I'm not saying I want us to be besties, but I want us to be able to talk. I…I…I want some semblance of what you have with your father."
"What?" I asked in shock, thinking I wasn't hearing right. "Why now? Why not my last year of high school? Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have gone so far away." I know that's not true, but it's a what if I'll never know the answer of.
"Because I saw you and your dad talking and I saw how excited you were when you were telling him something. I saw the adoration and love you both have for each other, and, to be frank, I was...jealous. I wish I had that with you. I wish I had done things differently and been the mother you wanted, but at the same time I don't regret the things I've done."
"You were gone for most of my childhood, why should I let you in now?"
"I was gone for your protection. We can start small," she said, trying not to let the words get to her. "Why don't you tell me what you were so excited about?"
Giving a small smile, Rose said, "Christian proposed to Lissa."
"Oh that's wonderful! They're perfect for each other. Let me guess, you're the maid of honor."
"Yup!" I said, popping my p as I felt my mood lift a bit. Maybe things can be different.
"Well, if you need an extra input, or someone to give a different opinion, I'll be more than glad to help."
"Really?" I said, genuinely astonished.
"Yea, but I'm sure you guys have plenty of other people to ask for input."
"No, I like it. I'll ask Lissa tomorrow, I'm sure she'll be more than happy."
After saying goodnight, I put her empty bowl in the sink and went back to my room. When I checked my phone I saw I had four missed calls. Three from Adrian and one from Lissa. Laying on my bed, I dialed the person I couldn't stop thinking about.
"Hello?"
"Hey...it's me...Rose…"
"Hey," he said hesitantly. "What's up?"
"Nothing much," I said, feeling slightly awkward for calling him. "About tomorrow, do we have to meet at the coffee shop? I mean unless you're gonna read me one of your book for an afternoon nap…"
"Tomorrow?" he said, trying to remember his plans. Maybe it was a bad idea to all Dimitri. "Oh! No...that wasn't what I was going to do." His exasperation mingled with amusement.
"Oh. That's good," I said, unsure of how to continue. A silence fell over until I said. "So what are you going to do?"
"Do you really think i'm going to ruin the surprise?" his said, the smile heard in his voice.
Rose groaned as she rolled in her bed. "Fine. At least tell me what I should wear."
"Well it's summer, so don't wear snow boots or a big jacket."
"Wow, seriously, thanks for the advice. I wasn't sure if there would be a snow blizzard or not." Both us of broke into laughter, some of the awkward tension easing a bit. Biting a lip I went for a different approach. "Can I get some kind of hint, pleeeeease!"
"You really don't like surprise do you?"
"It's not that, I'm just very impatient. Half the reason I never go out to restaurants is cus they take to long to serve." I heard him chuckle from the other side of the phone.
"Oh? And the other reason?"
"I'm broke," I said a little too quickly. Or cus I never have anyone to take me, I thought.
"But you can afford a frappuccinno and cookie."
"Of course! They're the staples of life."
"Are you serious? I can understand the cookie, but a frappuccino?"
"Dead-" my phone started beeping, meaning I had another call. When I saw who it was I asked Dimitri if I could call back in a few minutes, and then I took the call.
"Hey, little temptress, about time you answer your phone."
"Sorry," I mumbled.
"It's nothing a movie can't fix," he said. I couldn't help the smile that came over. Something about the smooth, casual confidence in Adrian's voice took away my bad mood and made me think everything was going to work out.
"Oh really? Do you have a movie in mind?"
"One staring you and me, o-"
"Adrian. Let's get one thing straight. I'm not one of floozies. Just cus I went home with you and almost slept with you, doesn't make mean I'm like the countless girls that have actually slept with you." He sounded like he wanted to cut in and say something, but I didn't let him. "So I'm going to ask you again, do you have a movie in mind?" I didn't mean to go off on him, but I was easily irritated, and what he was insinuating rubbed me the wrong way.
"Fiesty. I like it. And a million apologies, I never thought of you as a flocking floozy," he said, eliciting a giggle from me when he said flocking floozy. "And honestly, I still want to take you to that movie festival going on downtown."
"I don't-" I cut myself off, why was I shutting him down? I don't have a boyfriend, so why not let him take me out. "know what movie their playing though."
"That's the beauty of it. No one does, and they're playing like three so you can choose when you get there."
"Well, I guess you have a point."
"I always have a point. Should I pick you up at 4?"
"Uhh, sure, but not tomorrow."
"Rose, Rose, Rose! How can you do that to me? Deny me my daily dose of Rose?"
She laughed at his "pain" and told him, "It's just a day. I mean, we could wait until next week."
"No, no, no. No need to do something so rash. Day after morrow is fine."
There was a moment of silence, until he spoke again.
"So...how was your day? You kinda left in a hurry."
"Yea, sorry about that. I just had to get my things from Lissa. Um, it was good I guess. It went by faster than I thought…thanks for everything today."
"If you're so thankful, you should move our date to tomorrow."
"Haha. Not that thankful. I need to get to bed, lots to do tomorrow."
"Oh I get it. People to do, things to see, no time for little ol' Adrian."
"No! That's not what I'm doing."
"No, no, it's fine I understand. Goodnight Rose."
"Goodnight Adrian."
When we hung up, I contemplated calling Dimitri back, but decided against it seeing how heavy my eyelids felt. After putting my phone to charge and putting my pj's on, I crawled into bed, brought the blankets around me, and went to bed thinking about how crazy a day I had.
A/N: No cliffy but that's fine...so how about that late night confession? Sorry it's not my best work but I wanted them to have a moment, even though it goes against the kind of relationship they have...don't worry though they'll go back to hating each other after one of them says the wrong thing hehe...next chapter will be interesting to say the least. It's Rose and Dimitri's not date date...question: do you want a Dimitri POV of the non-date? Let me know in the reviews.
P.S: I just put up part 1 of a 3 part one-shot, give it a look and see if you like it...it's kind of dark and sad, but it's based of a song. Don't worry though I have a bunch of other songs I want to do a one-shot of that aren't as depressing...I think.