Thank you for all the reviews:) sorry this is so late but life has been hectic lately!

Today was the first day in as long as she could remember that Santana had woken up without dried tears traced down the sides of her face. The feeling felt odd, she felt clean and maybe even refreshed. It wasn't a feeling she entirely welcomed, but it certainly felt better than waking up every morning feeling like every ounce of energy had been stripped from her body only to be replaced with a constant dull pain circulating through her heart. She felt different. She felt slightly more alive, or maybe just slightly less dead inside. Whatever it was, for some reason it made her do something she hadn't done since before her surgery. She sang.

'I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here, by now

There's nothing but the rain

No footsteps on the ground

I'm listening but there's

No sound'

Santana tracked idly around her room, gathering her school books which she had no intent in looking at outside of school. As soon as she got home she would exclaim that she was going up to her room to study, her mother would smile with pride, however once she got to her room she would empty her bag, open her books up on her desk and bed, throw some pens around, and then bury her face into her pillow for the rest of the night.

It was like that most nights, well except for the nights that Quinn insisted on coming over and keeping her company. She hated to admit it, but it was kind of nice to have someone that didn't tread on egg shells around her. Quinn was always the first one to tell her to pull herself together when she would have an outburst at school, mainly at berry, it was like she knew exactly what Santana needed.

'Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are but i

I'm with you

I'm with you'

She held the note for longer than required for the song but she couldn't help it, she felt good. It was like she could sing for longer, hold her breath for longer, she could even sing and dance around at the same time without running out of breath. She felt young again.

'Oh why is everything so confusing?

Maybe I'm just out of my mind

Yeah yeah yeah

Yeah yeah yeAHH'

Santana belted that last note out with wide stretched arms before she brought them back to her chest and began to sing the next verse quieter. Her eyes caught sight of the photo frame resting on her bedside table. The pink frame stood out like a sore thumb against the black and red colour palette of her room but it seemed to fit perfectly to her. It was a photo she had taken from Brittany's room. The one of the two of them at Brittany's tenth birthday party, where Santana had cream dripping down the side of her face and Brittany had her head tilted back in laughter. Santana smiled softly at the memory and reached her hand out to run her fingers gently across the picture, marvelling at Brittany's wide spread smile.

'It's a damn cold night' She sang quietly, not taking her eyes off the beautiful blonde.

'Trying to figure out this life

Won't you take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are but I,'

Santana took in a deep breath and prepared herself for the big note.

'I'm with you

I'm with you

Oh take me by the hand

Take me somewhere new

I don't know who you are but i

I'm with you'

She took one last breath in and knelt down so she was eye to eye with the laughing blonde. She could feel the tears swelling in her eyes but she willed them not to fall this time. Maybe she could get through a whole day without crying.

'I'm with you…' she whispered quietly.

'That was beautiful sweetheart.'

Santana dropped her schoolbag and spun around at the unexpected voice. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her mother leaning up against her door frame with the sweetest of smiles on her lips.

'Looks like you're getting back into the swing of things.' Her mother smiled.

'I'm not moving on.' Santana quickly stated before reaching down to pick up her bag and stuffing a few of her pens that she had thrown about last night into her bag.

'I didn't say you were.' Maria sighed.

'I'm just…' Santana fiddled with straps of her bag. What was she doing? Was she happy? No. Was she back to her normal self? No, how could she be without the most important part of her? She was just… 'I'm just…being.' She shrugged.

She avoided her mother's sad expression by moving to her mirror to straighten her outfit.

'Does this look ok?' Santana asked. Mainly just to change the subject. Today she was sporting a tight green and black striped dress with a small leather jacket over the top.

'Yes, but it would look even better in red, white and black.'

Santana rolled her eyes and turned back to her mother.

'I told you mom, I'm not joining the Cheerio's again.' Not without her.

'But sweety, you're so much more energetic, imagine what you could achieve now.'

'I said no.' Santana stated. She picked up her bag again and brushed past Maria on her way out.

'Santana wait!'

Santana stopped hallway down the stairs but didn't turn.

'Will you be home for dinner tonight? I need to discuss something with you before your father gets back from his conference in New York.'

Santana sighed. Dinner. That had to be the worst part of her day. It was usually just her and her mother, sometimes Quinn was there, sometimes her father would be there, not that she paid attention to that. It was always filled with ear piercing silence with bursts of awkward conversation about each other's day. Santana didn't know how many more dinners she could stomach.

'I might be at Quinn's.' She lied. 'Can you just tell me now?'

Santana heard her mother sigh sadly. 'S-santana…'

Santana turned around quickly at the shaky voice her mother let out. She watched as tears filled her mother's eyes before racing up the stairs and rubbing up and down her arms.

'Mama? What's wrong? I-I can come to dinner.' She said apologetically.

'No, no dear it's not t-that.'

Santana waited patiently for an explanation.

'I…Santana I think your f-father is having an affair.'

Santana felt all the colour leave her face. An affair? There's no way…there is no fucking way he would even dare to cheat on her mother! After all he has put them through, now this?!

'What?!' Santana demanded.

Maria shook her head as tears spilled down her cheeks. 'He's always going to New York, a-and everytime he says it's just for a conference, b-but they go on for weeks! A-and each time I check our bank account it's decreased by hundreds or even thousands! I m-mean, w-what else am I supposed to think?'

'Hey, Mama come here.' Santana cooed and brought her mother into a tight hug. 'When's he coming home next?'

'A c-couple of weeks from now.' Maria sniffled into her daughters jacket.

Mental note: wake up Snixx in two weeks.

'Do you want me to stay home today and keep you company? We could eat ice cream and burn all Dad's beloved medical books?' Santana suggested with a raised eyebrow. Secretly she was just planning on burning everything he had ever taken joy in owning.

'Oh no sweety, you shouldn't skip school. Especially now since we are constantly losing so much money, I mean you might have to get the best grades possible to get into a good college, luckily you've been studying so hard though right sweetheart?'

Santana stiffened. Had her father really spent that much money? On what?! Did his whore require a private jet every time she had to go to the hospital to get tested for hepatitis?

If they didn't have enough money to buy her into a good college…what the fuck was she supposed to do? Her grades had hit an all time low, she was only doing enough to pass not enough to excel and beat nerds like wheels into an acceptable college! Fuck!

'U-uh right.' Santana smiled and quickly released her mom from the hug. 'Well I better get going then.'

'Ok sweety, have a nice day at school.'

'Yep.' Santana threw over her shoulder, she needed to get away before her mother saw the fear in her eyes.

'Oh wait Santana.'

Shit. She knew.

Santana slowly turned around to see her mother waving a phone side to side. It was her phone. She hadn't seen that thing in forever!

'Found this stashed away in your closet, now you can't ignore me. It's about time you started taking some responsibility again. If I call you, I expect you to answer ok?' Maria warned. Santana nodded and caught the phone being thrown to her.

'Got it. Thanks Mama.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Santana arrived at school surprisingly early and smiled to herself when she spotted Quinn leaning against her car and waiting for her. It had kind of become their morning ritual since her first day back. Whoever arrived first would wait for the other. Once again Santana hated to admit it, but she liked that she never had to walk into school alone. She'd never tell Quinn that though, but she probably already knew anyway judging by the small smile she returned when Santana pulled into the park next to her.

'Someone looks like they finally got out on the right side of bed today.' Quinn smirked as Santana approached her. Santana remembered back to how good she felt this morning finally singing again in her room, until her mom decided to drop that little bombshell on her, why did her father have to ruin everything?!

'Argh.' She groaned.

'Or maybe not. What's up?' Quinn asked tentatively.

Santana wanted to tell her, she really did. Especially since Quinn had been there for her through all the shit that's happened over the last few months. But she couldn't tell Quinn about her fathers affair, I mean it might not even be true! Not that she wouldn't be surprised if it was…lying bastard. And she certainly couldn't tell her about their financial difficulties, Quinn's family were known for their money, what would she think?

'Hey.' Santana stopped when Quinn reached out for her arm and pulled her back. 'I was never as good as Brittany was in telling when something's bothering you but lately you've been a little easier to read. You know you can tell me anything right? I gave Brittany my word..'

Santana blinked in surprise. 'Your word? what are you talking about?'

'Remember that 'celebrate your life' party we had in the choir room a while back?'

Santana nodded with a scowl. Worst. Party. Ever.

'Well Brittany pulled me aside to talk that day. She told me to take care of you, because I'm the only person who can stand your impossible personality enough to get through to you.'

Santana felt her heart swell. How could she have not known what Brittany was doing? She should have paid more attention and stopped thinking so selfishly.

'She said that?' Santana asked quietly.

'Yeah, well in nicer words, but yes.' Quinn moved in closer until all Santana could see were the bright hazel eyes staring deep into hers. 'Santana, she trusted me to look after you, so please…let me.'

Santana sighed and looked around. People were starting to file into class now. She grimaced at the thought of how hard she would have to work for the rest of the year just to get a semi decent score. There was probably no point anyway. I mean all the good schools only took the brightest of students. She didn't have enough time to turn it around. She was going to end up in Lima for the rest of her life and have no one to hang out with but Jacob ben Israel.

'I'm not getting into college.' Santana blurted before she could stop herself. The thought of spending another year in Lima tipped her over the edge. Quinn stared wide eyed at her for an explanation. 'I-I'm not going to college, because I won't get into anywhere good, my grades suck this year…'

'Okayyy.' Quinn drawled thoughtfully. 'Um what about, your dad? He could –'

'That's not an option.' Santana said quickly. She didn't want to tell Quinn they couldn't afford it.

'You could actually study?'

'I can't concentrate on anything for more than five minutes before I start thinking of…things.'

'Santana, I thought you didn't even want to go to college, I thought you wanted to perform? You know, be famous? That was your dream.' Quinn asked sadly.

'Dreams change.' She shrugged.

'No they don't.' Quinn shook her head. 'People just forget how to dream.'

Santana closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She needed to relax. All this talk about dreams just reminded her of Brittany, and their dreams that they had together. To live together, to perform together, to be together always. Those dreams were long gone. She had to be realistic now, nothing lasts forever.

'Whatever, are you going to help me or not Q?'

Quinn looked at her curiously, probably debating whether or not to leave her on her ass or save her from herself. Eventually she sighed and rolled her eyes. 'Cheerios.' She stated and then began to walk off to class. Santana quickly followed with confusion.

'Cheerios?'

'Yes, cheerio's. Santana you were good, and you're probably even better now you have a new heart. If you rejoin the Cheerios and work just as hard as you used to...' Quinn stopped at her classroom door and turned back to the following Latina. 'You would be at the top of the list for a Cheerleading scholarship.'

'I don't want to be a Cheerio anymore Quinn.' Santana stated firmly.

'Fine. Guess I'll see you at our 10 year high school reunion, be sure to bring your twelve kids, oh and don't worry I'm sure there will be enough parking for your trailer and room to set up your hotdog vender.' Quinn smirked.

Santana shot her the best glare she could muster while her eyes were still wide in shock. 'Bitch.'

'Brittany picked me for a reason Santana.' Quinn smiled genuinely. 'Practice is at four.'

Why did Brittany have to be so smart?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Santana got through about ten minutes of her history class before she got distracted, but this time it wasn't from her own thoughts. A vibration was felt in her bra and she just about jumped out of her seat in shock. Suddenly realising it was her phone she quickly pulled it out with flushed cheeks and tapped into the message before she could draw too much attention. Luckily Puck was distracting Miss Winter with his insistent and awful pick up lines.

Santana slipped her phone under her desk and scooted her chair back a bit so she could read what was on the screen without looking suss.

FromMama: So are you really having dinner at Quinn's tonight? I need to know how much pasta to make. Love your beautiful Mom xx

Santana smiled and quickly typed back.

ToMama: I know you are just seeing if I would write back Mama. I'll be home for dinner:)

She couldn't exactly leave her mom with everything that she was going through right now. Plus she made really good pasta.

FromMama: you know me too well sweety xx

Santana tapped back into her inbox and noticed she had about a million missed calls and messages from most of the glee club, they were all from months ago, back when she chucked away her phone and refused to talk to anyone. There was no point in looking at them now. She highlighted all the unopened messages and pressed delete.

She was about to place her phone back into her bra and re-join the lesson when she noticed the last messages she had received. One was from WhyDoIEvenHaveHerNumber? And the other was from BrittBritt.

Santana quickly glanced to the front of the class to see Puck still desperately trying to get into the teachers pants, strangely enough Miss Winter was blushing, what a cradle snatcher.

Santana looked back to her phone and felt her heart rate quicken. She knew what the message contained but at the same time it felt like Brittany was speaking to her again, even if it was sent months and months ago. Her finger glided over the message until she finally clicked into it.

FromBrittBritt: Santana I'm so sorry but I have to go. I love you more than the world. My heart will always lie with you. I love you xx

Shit. Why did she have to read that? Fuck. So much for not crying today.

She now remembered why she had thrown her phone into her closet in the first place. Santana cursed herself when she continued to scroll up and read the previous messages sent between the two. Most of them consisted of 'I love you' or 'you look beautiful today', there was also a decent amount of sexts which Santana felt a little weird reading now so she quickly skimmed over those ones.

Santana managed to spend most of her history lesson reloading pages and pages of old texts sent between her and Brittany. Some made her laugh, some made her smile, and some made her eyes sting with tears.

Soon she reached a bunch of texts which puzzled her a bit.

ToBrittBritt: where are you babe? My pinky is getting cold:(

FromBrittBritt: i'm in a dark room and i'm scared, something's staring at me.

ToBrittBritt: Are you ok? Do you want me to come get you? We have that time capsule thing today remember?

Santana dropped her phone on the floor as it slipped through her loose fingers. The time capsule.

Santana quickly picked up her phone and stood from her chair.

'Uh Santana please sit down, class isn't over yet.' Miss Winter said nervously.

'Thought I should give you and Puck some privacy.' Santana threw over her shoulder before storming out of the room.

'Yeah Lopez!' Puck called after her.

She didn't turn around. She was on a fucking mission now. Why hadn't she thought of the time capsule earlier?! This is the best idea she's ever had. Blackmail Jew Fro into showing her that tape, and she gets to see her Britt-Britt again. Just the thought of seeing that gorgeous smile one more time was sending her legs into a sprint. In no time at all she was bursting into the IT room. Surely enough Jew Fro was sitting at his computer on the edge of his seat. He span around quickly like a deer in the headlights when she approached him. Santana's eyes flickered to the screen to see he was watching the New Directions last years regionals performance. Rachel was belting out a ballad and stomping around the stage. She looked back to the sweaty jew to notice his fly was undone. Santana squinted her eyes shut tight. Sick.

'Listen up pervert Ima make this real simple for you, either you give me the tape of Brittany's time capsule, no questions asked.' She stepped forward slowly, the scent of his fear filling her nostrils. 'Or I take a trip into Sue's office and explain to everyone over the PA system that you spend first period slappin a ham to a hobbit in tights.' She towered over him, placing her hands on the armrests of his seat. 'What's it gonna be?'

'Y-you don't s-scare me.'

'I know where Rachel lives.'

'All the tapes are in the cabinet over there, here's the key.'

Santana snatched the small key from his hands and turned to the large cabinet to her right. She opened it easily and quickly went to work finding Brittany's. She had to fight back her temptation when she skimmed over Quinn's and Lady Hummel's.

'So ah, w-where does she live?'

'In a small cottage inside a hill. Now get out.' Santana waved him off. When she felt he wasn't leaving she slowly turned around and glared at him. That was enough to get him moving again.

Once he was gone she went back to her searching. It wasn't long until her fingers skimmed across Brittany S Peirce. 'Yes!' she all but squealed. She checked around to see if she had been seen. Luckily the room was quite a secluded little gem which required dark lighting for Jew Fro's little wank sessions. Gross.

Santana quickly pulled out the tape and slipped it into the tape player. Her eyes were glued to the small tv like her life depended on her not missing a single moment of what was about to happen. For the first time in god knows how long, she was about to see the love of her li –

Suddenly there she was. Up on screen. Oh my god…she looked as beautiful as ever.

Santana's breath caught in her throat. She knew she had missed the ocean blue eyes and the silky blonde hair which felt like liquid heaven when it ran through her fingers, but she hadn't realised how much she missed the way Brittany sucked in a tiny bit of her bottom lip when she was confused or the way even when she walked she looked as though she was dancing to her own beat. God she just really missed her.

Santana watched with tear filled eyes as Brittany carefully sat down in the chair opposite the camera. Santana could tell she was trying not to look at the camera, but she kept glancing back to it every so often like she was scared it was about to speak or something. Santana frowned a little when the blonde began fiddling with her hands in her lap, something she did when she was nervous. Brittany was even cuter than she remembered.

Just as Brittany glanced back to the camera again she did a small little jump of surprise before quickly moving to pull out her phone from her bra. Santana smiled remembering the times she would call Brittany in class just to watch her squirm in her chair when her boob vibrated.

Brittany clicked into her phone and instantly smiled, and it was a big smile, one that was all teeth and her cheeks bunched up so high Santana could barely see the happiness in those ocean blue eyes. That was Santana's smile.

Wait. Wasn't she texting Brittany around this time?

Santana quickly reached for her phone again and began going through her messages from the time capsule.

ToBrittBritt: where are you babe? My pinky is getting cold:(

So that's why she was smiling so big. She watched Brittany's smile fall a little when she glanced back to the camera.

FromBrittBritt: i'm in a dark room and i'm scared, something's staring at me.

Santana chuckled a little. She remembered at the time being nervous about where the hell Britt was, she got lost on a regular basis but this place she described seemed a bit scarier.

ToBrittBritt: Are you ok? Do you want me to come get you? We have that time capsule thing today remember?

She watched Brittany sit up in her chair a little and look around, like maybe she was contemplating if she wanted Santana to come get her just yet.

FromBrittBritt: They told me i have to stay in here, can you keep talking to me?

Brittany held her bottom lip between her teeth while waiting for her reply. Santana watched as her text came through and the blondes wide smile returned.

ToBrittBritt: Ok...But tell me the second you want to get out ok? Guess what, my parents are actually allowing me to leave the house this weekend, you know what that means;)

Brittany was bouncing in her seat. She now seemed to be taking no notice of the camera staring at her.

FromBrittBritt: Are you finally taking me camping?!

ToBrittBritt: Haha well i was more thinking along the lines of sexy sleepover but i guess we can combine the two;)

Brittany quirked an eyebrow over her delicious smirk. Santana had missed that too.

FromBrittBritt: Yay it will be like a double rainbow!:)

ToBrittBritt: It sure will:) We can cook marshmellows and cosy up under the stars, i bet you look great in the moonlight:)

Brittany tilted her head to the side with a little smile. Santana noticed that look from when they saw the fairy penguins at the zoo. Brittany thought she was cute.

FromBrittBritt: Thankyou:)

ToBrittBritt: You're welcome babe, but you look great in every light.

Brittany giggled. Fuck, she had missed that too.

FromBrittBritt: No i meant thankyou for being you, for being so sweet, i feel like you're my own little secret. Maybe you should start saying nice things to other people too, maybe you can make them feel as happy as i feel when i'm with you:)

Santana felt her heart sink a little. Brittany had told her ages ago to be nicer to people, but yet she still used every insult in the book to get her anger out. Maybe it was time she started living by Brittany's words…

Santana rolled her eyes at the thought. This is gonna suck.

ToBrittBritt: the only person i want to make happy is you, and if you let me do that for the rest of my life, then i'll never need anything else.

Santana watched as Brittany smiled but just as quickly it was gone when Jacob's voice was heard on camera.

'Ok Brittany, I just came in to say you have one minute left before I have to bring in the next person.'

Brittany stared at him in confusion.

'One minute left?'

She asked quietly before returning back to her phone to type a message back.

FromBrittBritt: San, i have to go, that kid with the jew fro is talking to me but i just keep wondering what Lord Tubbington would look like with that much hair:( i'll meet you after school so we can walk home and discuss camping! Ps i love you, and just thinking of you makes me happy:)

'Yes one minute to finish your time capsule to your future self? Now come on Figgins wants me to get through everyone today, and I think I saw Rachel Berry was next in line!'

Santana wished she could go back in time to kick Jew Fro's ass!

Brittany nodded as she turned to the camera with acknowledgement and smiled into the lens. She took one final look at her phone before she started.

ToBrittBritt: i'll kick that jew fro's ass for interrupting my Britt-Britt time:( yep i'll meet you in our spot, hopefully this crap won't take much longer. Ps i love you too:)

Her smile grew even bigger at Santana's text.

Santana took in a deep breath and leant in impossibly closer when Brittany was about to speak.

'Um ok, well I only have like…less than a minute left to speak, but that doesn't matter because I only want to say one thing.

Brittany S Pierce, wherever you are right now, if you have Santana Lopez standing next to you, then you have succeeded. Unless she's at home taking care of our grandchildren then that's totally ok too.'

Santana felt those damn tears come back in full force.

'Oh and Santana if you are standing next to me, or maybe for some reason you're not…I want you to know that whatever you do, I will be proud of you. San as long as you are doing what you love, as long as you are performing and living your dreams in any way you can, then you have already succeeded in my eyes. San I love you more than sunshine because you are always warm but you don't burn me on hot days…

I wish you all the happiness in the world and –'

'Ok Brittany times up.'

'I will hunt that Jew Fro down and beat his ass!' Santana yelled at the tv when Jacob appeared and turned off the camera before she got to hear the rest of Brittany's beautiful speech.

Santana sat back down when her rage subsided.

She had dedicated her whole time capsule to her. Brittany cared about her that much. Britt wanted her to perform, and be happy…and she's been doing none of those things. Brittany was still helping her even when she's not around anymore.

Maybe it was time she started living as a person who would make Brittany proud. Maybe it was time to join Glee club and the Cheerio's again…

Next chapter I promise Santana finds out Britt is still alive!