A.N:
When I say give or take a couple of days, I apparently mean give or take a couple of weeks. To all those who waited, I apologise.
I hope you, dear Reader, have had a lovely winter break (or summer break, if you live below the equator) and I hope that you have a year filled with opportunities to follow your dreams and contentment. :)
Much love,
A
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Disclaimer: Harry Potter? Not mine. Cover art? Not mine. The rhyme used in this chapter is Cassandra Clare's. I've just modified it to suit this story.
Pairing: Sirius/fem!Harry
Warnings: None for this chapter.
THREADS OF TIME
Chapter 5
"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what."
~ Unknown ~
OoOoO
The smell of blood is revolting. The smell of death is worse.
Bella is in suspended animation. She watches, as Ron falls down to Yaxley's spell. But even as he falls, he throws one last curse at Carrow, who's duelling Hermione.
Bella opens her mouth to scream as her bestfriend's head hits the ground. But she can't react. She can't move. She can only observe.
She knows what comes next. She's seen it so many times before. She wants to tell Hermione to stop, as the girl turns a gloating Yaxley into a human bomb. The blast kills two other Death Eaters apart from Yaxley himself. But it also kills her.
The scene shifts, and Bella stands alone on a ground full of dead bodies. There's blood and gore everywhere. There's destruction everywhere. The silence in the air is not reflective of the chaos on the ground.
It doesn't matter that she's seen this scene at least fifty times till now. It's like a reopened stab wound that just won't stop bleeding.
In that small moment between when she truly possesses the three Hallows and when Death appears, Bella wishes for something that she has never really been scared of.
She wishes for death.
OoOoO
When Bella finally wakes up, there's sunlight streaming in. The house is eerily silent, and it takes her a moment to figure out where she is.
She grips her wand tightly in her hand and walks warily into the dining room. She sees a note stuck on the fridge, and upon reading it, leaves out a sigh of relief.
'Gone to meet the undertaker. Harry's with Moony. Breakfast/lunch on the table.
- Sirius.'
Bella yawns as she stretches her arms above her head. With the house to herself, she might as well take the day off and do whatever she feels like doing.
The bacon is cold and soggy, and despite warming it, it makes her feel sick as she eats it. She grits her teeth and finishes the plate, remembering how there used to be a time when she never had enough food.
Forty minutes and a hot shower later, Bella finds herself standing in Diagon Alley.
The bag of Galleons feels heavy in her robe's pocket, as it hits against her thigh. She feels like she has stolen it from Sirius' personal stash, but she rationalises it as borrowing, rather than stealing, as she has every intention of returning it.
After all, what is a little borrowing between co-guardians?
Flourish and Blotts isn't as crowded as it was last week, which allows Bella to explore the shop in a leisurely manner. The shop is much bigger than what it was in her own thread, which Bella finds curious. She stores away that bit of information, not really deeming it important.
She searches all three floors for books on the Laws, before giving up. For some reason, while she can find interpretations of what the Laws mean, she can't find an actual book which states all the Laws.
There's a woman in lime green robes, sorting the books in the Magical Creatures aisle. The badge on her chest proclaims her to be an assistant.
"Excuse me? Could you please tell me where the books with the Magical Laws are?"
The woman turns to stare at her, and her mouth falls open.
"Y-you don't know the Laws?" she asks in a whisper.
"Umm, no?" replies Bella, awkwardly.
"What sort of blasphemy is this! You aren't a Pureblood are you? How dare you insult the name of your Patron family!" she shrieks, as Bella stares at her. The woman's transition from whispering to outright shrieking makes her wonder if the woman in front of her is bipolar.
Surprising herself for once, Bella replies calmly, "Right, forget I asked anything, assistant." She probably shouldn't have sneered while saying the last word, but what the hell.
Bella backtracks out of the shop, and takes a minute to observe the autumn-winter fashion of the wizards and witches shopping at Diagon Alley. She hasn't really seen Diagon Alley at this time of the year.
The cloaks that both wizards and witches wear, regardless of their age, reminds her of Little Red Riding Hood. So on an impulse, she steps into Lady Ragtag's, a store which seems more casual than Madam Malkin's, and buys a blood red cloak with a hood (with warming and anti-ripping charms, of course) for herself.
And then because she can't leave the shop without buying something for Harry, she picks out emerald green baby robes for him. The robes have runes for safety, warmth and comfort woven into them, but she mainly picks them out because it matches their common eye colour.
She's contemplating going into Knockturn Alley to see if there's a bookstore there, when she spots someone who looks like a young Rita Skeeter sauntering towards her. Deciding that it's better to avoid the sneaky reporter, she simply walks into the dingy street, observing her surroundings carefully.
She finds a man selling pirated versions of different books on the broken pavement, further down the road. She's taken up by a book called 'Moste Darke Kreatures', which has a companion book called 'Kreatures of the Lighte'. She gets them both for merely five Sickles, as opposed to a Galleon and a Knut which the real ones cost.
The balding seller introduces himself as Mr. Rawburns, which Bella decides is a fake name. But on second thought, she decides that it's weird enough to possibly be a real wizarding name. He promises that the ink won't get smudged, and that the paper and binding are of good quality. She takes his word for it, and walks back slowly to Diagon Alley.
It's when she's trying to decide where to eat that something in the display case of Eeylops Owl Emporium catches her eye. Her breath catches in her throat, as she stares at the bird resting on the swing. It can't be her, thinks Bella. But it probably is.
She walks into the shop, a new spring in her step. She probably looks like a small kid, the way she's almost skipping, but she can't help it. After all, she will soon be purchasing the snowy white owlet who was her first real friend in the other thread.
Hello, Hedwig.
OoOoO
The sofa is bloody uncomfortable, decides Bella. But the book by Damon Scamander is so damn interesting, that it needs more attention from her.
She steps into Harry's room, only to remember that Sirius had miniaturised the cot there to create more space. To save herself the time and the effort of undoing the charm after first finding the miniaturised piece of furniture, she heads into Sirius' room.
It's not like she hasn't been in here, before. It's just that it feels like she's invading his privacy. To hell with it, she thinks, as she settles down on his queen sized bed. For a man who's supposedly single, the bed seems too big.
It's only after she has settled herself comfortably against the headboard that she remembers Sirius' reputation of having been quite the Casanova. She suppresses a shudder at the thought of all the other women who could have been on this bed, and turns her attention to the books.
'Our beloved patron, Lady Morgaine is supposed to have had one of these magnificent creatures as her familiar. Though certain mythological texts argue that her familiar was some form of a snake, the general consensus is that it was indeed a Thestral.
Many people who blindly believe in the fast disappearing Art of Divination think the sighting of a Thestral is an omen of death, often forgetting that a Thestral can be viewed only after witnessing death, not before. Of course, it's not enough to simply witness a death, it involves understandi - '
.
.
.
Bella wakes up before she opens her eyes. She can feel the warmth and the light of the setting sun's rays on her face when a shadow passes by. An intruder? Instinctively, she opens her eyes.
She gives a muffled shriek and scrambles for her wand, only relaxing when she finds it under the other pillow. Meanwhile, the intruder busily mutters under his breath, glaring at her balefully.
"The blood-traitor brat who broke Mistress' heart lets his Halfblood whore sleep in his bed. Mistress will be so angry to know that the whore even sleeps in the brat's bed. The spoilt brat wants to shower the whore with gifts, though, and Mistress can't do anything about it."
It takes Bella a moment to recognise Kreacher. Unlike her thread's Kreacher, this one is clothed in what seems to be a miniature tuxedo. She's kind of glad that he's not in a loin cloth, and is more than amused by his rant.
When his rant goes on to insult her mother, she speaks up.
"Shut up, Kreacher."
"Oh, the brat's whore expects Kreacher to obey her. But the whore doesn't know that Kreacher will listen only to Blacks. Kreacher will not -"
"I believe the lady asked you to shut up, you miserable excuse of a house-elf," comes Sirius' voice and Bella turns to find him leaning against the doorframe, sneering at Kreacher.
"Kreacher shall report to Mistress that the brat lets the whore sleep in his bed. Mistress will be so disappointed -"
"Shut up, Kreacher. You will not call Isobel a whore or any other disrespectful name. You will listen to any order she gives you, as if she is a Black. Have I made myself clear?"
Kreacher nods his head jerkily, glaring at Sirius, then at Bella, in turn. Bella wants to interrupt Sirius, but she stays quiet. She can talk to Sirius after Kreacher's gone.
"If you've left the books I'd asked for, you can go snivelling back to my mother."
Kreacher throws one last venomous look at Bella, before disappearing with a loud crack.
Bella turns her attention to Sirius, and the way he's staring at her makes a blush creep up her neck.
"So how's my bed?" he asks, conversationally.
Annoyed at herself for blushing, she plays along. "Much more comfortable than the sofa. Could I interest you with an offer to exchange our sleeping spaces?" she asks.
"I have a better proposition," he says, coming in with a predatory smile. Bella pulls her legs up halfway as he sits on the edge of the bed. Suddenly, the bed feels small, and her throat feels dry. Why is the room so hot all of a sudden?
"What is it?" she asks, nervously. She can hear her heart beat. Her robes have parted, and the skirt she is wearing inside has fallen down her thigh, leaving her left leg exposed.
Sirius seems to be studying that exposed bit of skin quite seriously, and never has Bella been gladder that Ginny taught her those hair-removal spells.
He looks up from her leg and says in a low voice. "This bed is big enough, don't you think? Two people can easily fit in."
Her breath catches in her throat, and she thinks her eyes might pop out. She's pretty sure the expression on her face is unattractive, as she croaks out, "Wh-what?"
"We can minimise this bed and bring the other bed into this room as well. We'll literally be roommates, then. And weren't you the one who insisted that the two of us are roommates?" he says, too innocently.
Bella leaves out a long breath, and blushes horribly. Why is she blushing so much today?
"What did you think, Izzy, that I'll ask you to sleep with me?" he asks, way too innocently (again). Bella's eyes are narrowed as she hits him in the face with one of his pillows.
"You're such a dick."
"I'm taking that as a compliment," he says as he grabs the pillow with his hands to stop her from hitting him once again.
It's good that he has three more pillows on the bed.
And thus, Bella indulges in her first pillow fight, ever.
OoOoO
Bella is lying down haphazardly on the bed in a happy daze. A pillow fight, something meant for small kids, should not give her this much joy. But it does, and Bella feels too lazy to introspect about the topic further.
"La!"
Bella lifts her head up and can't stop smiling when she sees Harry walking into the room. She sits up with her arms open, and Harry hurries towards her with short uncertain steps.
"Come to Bella, Harry. Come to Bella," she calls out in her best baby voice, wiggling her fingers at him. When he's close enough, she picks him off the floor and places him on her lap.
She kisses his scar, and he giggles.
"It's unfair, you know?" says Sirius from her side. He's lying diagonally across the bed, and she tries not to notice how his legs are so close to hers. She fails miserably.
"What isn't?"
"It took Harry a month after he said 'mama' to say 'Pafoo'. But here he is, calling you 'La' just a week after meeting you."
"Awww, is Pafoo feeling jealous?" she asks teasingly, as Harry crawls off her and grabs 'Kreatures of the Lighte'. Harry opens the book upside down, and flips through the pages.
"Of course not," he sniffs. "He only likes you because of the imprint."
"He likes me because I'm nicer. You're just being mean," she says, watching Harry keenly as he watches a pair of unicorns gallop in a picture, all upside down.
"I'm mean? Then what about Kreacher? Insulting you, insulting Lily, calling you a whore...," he peters off uncertainly. Bella turns to look at him.
"Kreacher's just bitter. And probably lonely as well, what with serving only your insane mother in that horrible house. You really should make an effort to be nicer to him."
"Didn't you say that he was the one who led to my death in your thread?"
"He did it only because you weren't nice enough to him. It was a consequence of your own actions."
"Were you always this dispassionate about my death? Did you even cry? Or were you too busy sympathising with Kreacher to even care that you Godfather was dead?" he asks, almost cruelly.
Before she knows it, she's off the bed. She's furious, but also hurt. She can feel her eyes beginning to water. It's a stupid reaction, really. She draws in a shuddering breath, trying to speak calmly.
"Kreacher wasn't the only one though, was he? I was naïve enough to let myself be manipulated by Voldemort. If anything, I led to my godfather's death," she says coldly, before stalking out of the room.
She knows he taunted her on purpose, because he's just an overgrown child at heart, but she can't help it. She painfully yanks on a pair of boots before storming out of the house and the building.
She walks into the crisp November air, trying to get her breathing to normal. The cold air feels like a balm against her, but her blood is still boiling.
The few Muggles walking about possible stare at her dressing choice, but she ignores them. She walks about purposefully in no particular direction, working her anger out.
She has no idea how she got here, but she's in a park right now. It's empty and desolate, and the wind makes some fallen leaves rustle. She sits down on the park bench, cross-legged, and starts practicing her Occlumency shields.
OoOoO
It must be quite some time later for the sky has darkened considerably. A twig snaps and brings Bella out of the meditative trance that she had laboriously gotten into.
She turns to the source of the sound, and rolls her eyes. Because there's Harry, wearing the green cloak that she'd bought earlier today, standing next to a large black dog.
She watches with pursed lips as Harry and the dog come up to the bench she's sitting on. Harry plops himself on the ground and starts playing with the mud.
Bella ignores the dog, and casts a spell for warmth on Harry. Her younger brother (?) turns his head and grins at her toothily, before going back to focusing on the twigs in front of him. It's almost like he felt her cast the spell silently. She decides it must be the imprint.
Padfoot obviously doesn't like being ignored, because he climbs onto the bench and whines in protest. Bella ignores him.
He inches closer and nudges her arm with his nose. She ignores him.
He whines mournfully, and she turns to look at him. His eyes are so large and expressive, and she feels sorry for the dog, if not the man. She lets him put his head on her lap. She strokes his head, out of habit.
Without really thinking, she scratches that sweet spot behind his ears and he growls contently. She smiles when she realises that it's the same place that the Padfoot of her thread liked scratched.
"Is this your way of apologising?" she asks, and the dog burrows his nose into her lap, not looking up at her. Coward, she thinks.
After a few minutes of silence, she speaks again. "I'm not mad at you, you know? At least, not anymore."
He looks up at her questioningly. She stops scratching his head just for a moment.
"It took me a while to realise it, actually. I honestly don't think you meant to say, or rather ask, those things. I think you just wanted a reaction from me. You're a coward, you know?"
She pauses to look into his beautiful black eyes. He looks away, almost shamefacedly. It's funny how expressive he is, even as a dog.
"You're hiding from any grief and pain that I'm sure you're feeling. And my guess is that you're also feeling guilty... Guilty about my parents' death. But you shouldn't feel guilty. It isn't your fault. It's Voldemort's fault. And Pettigrew's. And to some extent, Snape's. But never yours.
"It's similar to how it's Bellatrix's and Voldemort's faults that my godfather died. Do you understand that?"
The dog moves away from her, before rapidly transforming into a human being. He's sitting so close to her, his arm touching hers, his leg against hers, that she can see the tear that rolls down his cheek.
She can't help it. She leans over and kisses that one lone teardrop. She knows how Sirius hates showing any emotion he considers weak. It's another one of those things that are common to both the threads.
He doesn't react to it, though he moves a tiny bit closer to her. She doesn't comment on it.
He rests his head on her shoulder.
She gently rests her head on his, and watches Harry play.
OoOoO
A while later, Bella's forced to move when Harry tries to stuff some dirt into his mouth. She scolds him, though he seems unbothered, and Scourgifies all the dirt off. He smiles at her so sweetly, and she can't help those tiny pricks of joy that rise in her chest.
"Want to go out for dinner?" asks Sirius, finally speaking.
"My hair's a mess. And my clothes are dirty," she pouts.
Bella never pouts. Pouting is for small kids who want things to go their way. Which is why her own actions surprise her.
"Are you a witch or not?" he asks, smirking slightly, as his eyes light up.
She sticks her tongue out at him, and he takes out his wand and waves it, first at her hair, and then at her clothes.
"What about Harry? He needs his baby food."
"I know this restaurant which has a crèche of sorts. Wizarding cuisine at its best. Babies are left in the care of able house-elves, while the adults get a night off to enjoy themselves," he says, in a lofty, put-on voice.
"Why do you sound like a talking flier?"
"Because I read those words off a flier," he says, smiling lopsidedly. A dimple appears in his left cheek, and something flutters inside her stomach. It must be because of her hunger.
"Am I dressed well enough to go there?" she asks, and he rolls his eyes.
"I don't know how you got hold of these robes, considering the fact that they're of brilliant quality. This is what top notch duellists wear. There's only one man in France who makes these."
Bella takes a moment to look at him curiously.
"I woke up in these robes. I have no clue how they got on. This wasn't what I was wearing...," she peters off uncertainly, not wanting to continue the sentence.
She supposes that Sirius gets it, because he nods his head.
She picks up Harry, who automatically rests his head on her shoulder. She has to resist an urge to coo 'awww' at that. That's something that Lavender and Parvati would do.
"Shall we?" he asks, holding out his hand. She grips it tightly, because she still hates Apparating, while hugging Harry with her other arm.
"Are you scared you'll splinch yourself, love?" he asks, and Bella throws him a dirty glare.
He moves closer to her, and wraps an arm around her waist. He's so close that she can smell him. That mix of leather and soap and something citric.
Before she can ponder about that arm which steadily seems to be creeping up her midriff, they're forced through that narrow pipe of blackness, and are gone.
OoOoO
"Sirius! You said we were going home!" she protests, as she looks at the shop they've Apparated to.
It's Madam Malkin's. Bella has never been a girly girl, and one round of clothes shopping is more than enough for a day, in her book. She glares at Sirius.
"You and Harry need formal clothes for the funeral, love."
Bella's jaws clench at that. She is supposedly the daughter, and yet it is Sirius who is doing all the work.
"Fine."
Fifteen minutes later, she's standing in the main part of the shop in a white gown. It's white as snow, and she twirls herself in front of the tall Venetian mirror set in the corner.
"Are you sure this is for a funeral? It looks like a wedding gown," she says, catching Sirius' eye in the mirror.
He's sitting in a relaxed manner on the low seat, leaning against the wall as he looks at her. He looks so bloody elegant, the epitome of Purebloodedness.
When he doesn't reply, she goes back to looking at herself in the mirror. The dress doesn't flatter her much. It makes her look flat-chested, to her chagrin. It almost looks pretty, if she squints at her reflection.
It's too white for her, and it doesn't suit her complexion. She has a thousand problems with the dress. There's a gathered pleating at the waist, and she feels it falls flat, because she doesn't have much curves to support it.
What had Malkin called it? An A-line dress.
Her back feels exposed. The keyhole back is something she isn't used to, and she has this feeling Sirius is staring at it. Her face turns a light pink at that, and Sirius probably catches it, because he smirks at her in the mirror.
The only thing she likes about it is the work at the neck, with black stones and silver embroidery. She's so busy inspecting it, that she doesn't notice Sirius coming to stand behind her.
He stands close to her, and the delicious warmth makes her shiver.
"Black for seeking magic, day or night,
For death and mourning, the colour is white.
Gold for a bride in her wedding gown,
Red to call the enchantments down.
White spider silk when our bodies burn,
Blue sleeves and robes when the lost return.
Grey for knowledge that rests untold,
Bone for those who'll never grow old.
Saffron to play the victor's part,
Green to soothe a broken heart.
Silver for those who serve the Dark,
Bronze for those who seek His mark."
He says it, or rather sings it, and it captivates her. She turns around to look at him directly. She's about to say something, when Malkin comes bustling in, clutching a furious looking Harry who looks quite dapper in his white baby robes.
"This one here didn't want to get dressed," she says as Harry wriggles in her arms. Bella brushes past Sirius to take the baby.
He quietens down once he's in her arms, and he tries to pluck at the black stones in her neck-work. She sighs and sets him down, something which he obviously doesn't like.
"Is there a crest I need to weave onto the robes?" asks Malkin, looking at Sirius. Bella doesn't like how the older woman completely disregards her and only pays attention to what Sirius says. She finds it sexist.
"Are you familiar with the Potters' Wheel?" he asks.
It's with a smug feeling of satisfaction that Bella watches the other woman pale and clutch at her chest.
OoOoO
The three of them are sprawled lazily across the sofa. The telly's on, but they aren't really watching it. At least, Bella isn't.
"You know, you never did apologise," she says, at long last.
Sirius turns his head to look at her, but she keeps looking ahead. Harry babbles at the jingle which comes on, and she fondly tries to flatten his untameable hair
"I'm sorry."
She turns to look at him, her lips pursed. "Sometimes, instead of trying to antagonise others, you can just talk, you know? You always have me to talk to. Or Remus."
"When did you get this wise?" he asks, a wry smile on his face.
"How do you know I haven't been this wise all along?" she asks, smiling slightly.
"No offspring of James can claim to be wise," he replies, grinning a little wistfully.
"I guess I inherited Lily's brains, then."
"Intelligence doesn't equal wisdom," he says before looking at Harry and then staring at the TV screen with his eyes widening slightly.
Bella turns to regard it and watches, as a skimpily clad blonde moans under the ministrations of some tall fellow. Her hands go to cover Harry's eyes, as Sirius scrambles for the remote.
Bella and Sirius look at each other, and burst into laughter. It's a long time since she has laughed this way at something silly, and it feels so good.
Harry protests when he realises that the telly's been switched off. He screams "No!" quite a few times, finally calming down only when both Bella and Sirius make colourful sparks come out the tips of their wands.
Bella looks at Sirius, and he looks at her, and suddenly, everything else feels trivial and inconsequential. It's a nice feeling, just the three of them on a sofa. They're almost a family unit, something that Bella has never really had.
She's the girl who never had any real family. Sirius is the one with a dysfunctional one. And finally, there's Harry, who's an orphan, just like her.
She rests her head against the back rest and closes her eyes, thinking of how despite all the things that she has to start working on soon, this moment feels pretty close to perfect. It's close enough to perfect for her, and she'll take it as it is.
She falls asleep, smiling.
OoOoO
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A.N:
(When will this female stop posting long, rambling ANs?)
That was sort of a filler chapter, I'm afraid. We'll be back to slightly more serious things next chapter.
For those who are interested, the dress Bella was wearing can be found on this site:
w w w . davidsbridal . com
In the search bar there, key in the given search-code to see it.
SDWG0153
Almost all the dresses I've pictured for various future events in this story are from this site. It's easy to navigate, and that's what I like most about it. I have Bella's wedding gown picked out already. ;) *smirks*
If you come across any mistakes in this chapter, please feel free to point them out to me. I've only proof read the entire thing twice.
Guest review responses up next. Don't get mad at me.
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Firstly, thank you so much for reviewing. :) Here are the individual answers to each review:
Jlw - You're so sweet. :) And you used the nickname that I'd been planning on using all along. A niece or a nephew, huh? Did you see the above AN? ;) Please create an account, I'd love to send you a PM. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Guest - Yes, the age thing is weird, at first glance. It's important to the rest of the plot though. And a lot of it has to do with Lily's meticulous planning. ^_^
Avalon - Ben Jelen, huh? :D I admit, he's hot, but I always pictured Sirius to look like Ben Barnes. Barnes with his long hair, as Prince Caspian, maybe? Do you mind if I use Jelen as the face for another not-so-well-liked character, whom I happen to love?
Samantha - There's only one team here, and that's TEAM SIRIUS. So one's either on it, or not. And I assure you, I'm all aboard the Sirius train. ;) I have someone else in mind for Snape, but that might not work out, anyway. There's only one pairing that I'm definite about, and that's Bella/Sirius. :D
Neve - I'm not a huge fan of angst either, because it usually makes my tear ducts work overtime. My main focus is on the plot and the romantic moments, but at this point of time, it's instrumental to get both Sirius and Bella, and Remus too, to get over their grief. It won't be realistic, otherwise.
Crystal - I'm working under the assumption that Potter Manor is where Lily and James got killed. And they will be moving somewhere more sensible soon. Again, it's essential to the plot.
Chloe - I'm so glad that you read the story and liked it enough to leave a review. :) :) :)
Saoirse - I'm looking at canon as a totally different thread. If we consider canon to be the original one, then both this thread, and Bella's thread, are simply alternate universes.
Tauriel - Yes! Go Belirius! (Sirella?)
Elsa - I promise you this, just as I promised Samantha. It's Bella and Sirius, and Sirius and Bella alone. Snape will only be a friend. :)
Once again, thanks a lot for reviewing! :)
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Next update on January 23rd, 2016. (I promise.) Keep calm, and leave me a review?