Note: Rated "M" for Lime moment halfway down

Ever since Teriyaki Yoko gave me the news that Rammy was out to get me, I became a bit paranoid that she would find out where I lived. So every time I left the pad, I turned to ghost form and used the invisibility power, so she wouldn't see me if she was there. Another option was, like the other night, was to posses her body and run her elsewhere on the block.

Anyway, I spent more time with Danny, Dani, and the band. The Watchtower magazine came out today with one of our pictures on the cover.
"You take a good picture, Tom", said Danny
"So do you," I said, rubbing my fist on his cheek.

At the studio, I decided to put a hold on "Tommy" for a while, and go back to my Village routes. There was limited studio time, so the only song we did was "My Back Pages". On our way out, I dropped eves on the studio where Teriyaki Yoko was working in. I heard her arguing with Rammy. They were talking about me, and that Rammy vows revenge on me.
Then she calmed down and concluded, "I banish you. You're banished. From every video game."
"Ouch," I said.

Then Rammy entered the hallway. I started to make a break for it, but she caught me.
"VILLAGE BOY! I got fired, my guitar strings broke again, and I STILL don't have any messages on my BEEPER! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!"
"Well, if you're not planning to kill me, none of this wouldn't have happened."
"If I actually LIKED the type of music you guys play-which I don't-none of THIS would've happened!"
"If I haven't met you in the first place, we wouldn't even know each other now."

Then Rammy bent down low, hands above the back of her head "That hurt, Village Boy. That really hurt,"
"Well, what do I do now?"
The black ewe tossed a pill bottle. There was a label on it. It said:
THIS IS A PILL. JUST TAKE IT BEFORE BED. YOU"LL FEEL BETTER IN THE MORNING.
"Uhhh..."
"Just accept it. I'm sorry we got off on the wrong start," said Rammy, smiling.
"So are we good now?"
"Just so-so. One more screw-up with my involvement, and you're dead."
I turned to leave, but when I reached the stairs, I heard a "Psst!" I turned around. RAMMY FLIPPED ME OFF!

Later at Chipotle, I had lunch with Teriyaki Yoko. It was just me and her, no one else.
"Have you ever imagined me in the nude?"
"I find it hard to imagine celebrities in the nude."
"Just asking."
I shivered, then changed the subject.
"So I understand you fired Rammy."
"Yeah. When she told me she was after you, I blew a fuse. The studio was closed for the night, so I didn't have time to break it to her. Look, hon. Rammy's out, so I'm on my own now."
"Well, that's a relief," I sighed.
Then the bug said, "How bout you come to my place for the night?"
"Good, because I don't want Rammy to know where I live. If I sleep with you, she wouldn't suspect a thing."

I went to the music store a few blocks over. It wasn't so crowded. It was just right. I found a small area devoted to me and my associated acts. The boss saw me, and sent me to the front to sign autographs. Unexpected, but it was worth it.

That night, I was at Egg-yolk's hotel room (I left the strange pill back it my place). It was normal, with one bed, a bathroom, and had a couple of windows for the breeze. Egg-yolk put on one of my records while I took a shower. I heard some strange clicks and saw some flashes coming from inside the bath, but I took little heed.
I dried up and put a towel on.
"I think there might be cameras in the shower. Is someone trying to get a picture of us?" I asked.
"Cameras? In the shower? I dunno."
Egg-yolk went in and closed the door. A few minutes later, she came out with her towel on, and a pill in her hand.
"You're right. I wonder who hooked those up."

I noticed the pill.
"Don't worry," she said, "It's just birth control."
She swallowed it, and took some water. I heard someone near the window press a button. I turned around, but there was no one there. I turned back. Egg-yolk took her towel off...?
"Are you trying to seduce me or something, Egg-yolk?" I shivered.
"Well you said you never saw a nude celebrity before," she said.
Oh, me and my big mouth.

I took my towel off too. She turned off the light on the side table, and got in the bed with me. Now we were both naked and clean from the shower. There was a lot of moaning and groaning from the both of us as we collided. Midway, we both heard a loud click and a bright flash from the window. I looked up-there was nobody. Must've been a hit-and-run paparazzi.
Anyway, I heard the loudest moan from Egg-yolk, must've indicated that it "went in". Then I heard a snap from the window. I got up and toward the window. All the time, we were being recorded on tape. It was mounted to the top of the window, but I couldn't reach it.
"Are you coming back to bed?" said Egg-yolk.
"We've been bugged," I said, "No offense."

Morning came, and I was still in Yoko's room. I quickly put on my shirt and pants from last night, turned into a ghost, and quietly flew away. The tape recorder I saw last night wasn't there anymore.

Later at the music store, I was with Danny and Dani, browsing various CD's. I told them about what happened with me and Teriyaki.
"You made out with her?" said Dani.
"She took a pill. It wasn't like she was going to give birth to a... human-bug hybrid!"
Then I found my section. I found the usual albums, but then I saw a new CD.
"WOW!" I squealed.
The CD cover had a picture of Me and Egg-yolk in the bed from last night.
THOMAS FAY AND TERIYAKI YOKO
30 MINUTE MAKE-OUT SESSION
PLUS RECENT SINGLES!
"Who's the boot that made this bootleg?" I said, "This is so humiliating!"
Dani just fainted. Danny took the CD and read the back.
"Two of your favorite celebrities have s** before your very ears?"
"What about the singles?"
"It includes 'Pinball Wizard,' 'Taste of Teriyaki,' and 'Heroes and Villains'."
"I didn't even authorize this! Soon everyone will buy this album and will think what a pimp I am. What'll the guys in the village think?"
"They'll think you've done hard work and took time off to humiliate everyone else.
"What's the label? Maybe I can tell them to stop pressing it."
There was no label.

I ended up buying the album so I could dig up some dirt on who made the bootleg. In the booklet were pictures of me and Egg-yolk in the shower. That must've been the clicking I heard!
There were a few more pages of this stuff, then I found songwriting credit for the extra songs, and finally the information I wanted.
IF YOU LIKE THIS ALBUM AND WANT TO HEAR MORE LIKE THIS, WRITE TO
NUDE TOM
555 PARK RD
AMITY PARK, CA 90909
I put that on my to do list for later. In the meantime, I had to write my postcard.

Dear Jerry,
How's stuff? Next time you go to the music store, don't look under my section. Why? There's a bootleg there, and the most humiliating one I've ever encountered. Don't buy it.
Worried,
Thomas Fay

I turned my attention to the strange pill that Rammy gave me the other day. The label said to take before bed, and the sun was finished setting. So I swallowed it, and hit the sack.