"Do you really have to do this?" Lucina asked.
Link nodded. "I have to. This is the only way that I can feel good about myself after being rejected."
"You do realize that was two years ago right?" Toon Link muttered. "Your acting dumber than me when I decided to kick out all of the adults."
"Yeah…" Lucina mused. "That was a dream you had last week. None of us remember that."
"It was crazy." Toon Link muttered. "I have the weirdest dreams sometimes. I think I even cloned myself and sang "We are number one."
"Yeesh." Link said. "That's sad. Anyways, welcome to 'The Kawaii Café!'"
"This is a joke." Toon Link muttered.
"Hands meet forehead. Forehead, hands" Lucina mused.
"Come on! What's not to like about this place?" Link asked. "It has tons of fanservice, hot girls, bikinis…"
"I'm starting to regret agreeing to watch him." Toon Link whispered to Lucina as Link continued to list everything he liked about the place.
"Agreed." Lucina whispered back. "I never would've been so kind to him if I knew he was into these sexist stereotypes."
"Weren't you a damsel in distress?" Toon Link asked.
"I was ordered to remember?" Lucina muttered. "I hated every moment of it."
"Anyways!" Link smiled as the doors opened to reveal a man with green hair in a cat suit. "It's time to introduce you to the head of this fine intuition…"
"Do you mean me?" The man asked.
"Yes I mean you!" Link smiled as he made finger guns and pointed it at him. "Lucina, Toony, meet the King!"
"Nice to meet you!" The King beamed as he gave Link a high five.
"Wait a second…" Lucina mused. "Aren't you Webby Bob? The man who was sued for accused rape?"
"Never!" The King cried as he walked up to Lucina. "What makes you think I'd do that?"
"Anyways." Toon Link snarled. "I'm leaving."
"W-why?" Link asked as he spun around.
"This place is sick." Toon Link snarled. "Only a loser with no social life would find this place entertaining."
"Says the guy who joined a secret organization based on taking down one person." Link snarled. "Well, I guess it'll just be me and Lucina…"
"No thanks." Lucina said. "I'm not staying here."
"C-come on!" Link cried. "Your boyfriend asked you to-"
"So?" Lucina asked. "Everyone has limits on what they can do."
"And you have a limit on walking in cafes?" Link asked.
"No she has a limit on walking into cafes that are meant for spineless idiots who won't have a girlfriend and never will." Toon Link snapped. "Now then. What are we going to now?"
"Hmm…Do you want to binge watch the Harry Potter movies?" Lucina asked.
"Sure." Toon Link shrugged. "Wait a second…aren't some of those PG-13?"
"I guess…" Lucina muttered. "You wont tell your Grandmother will you?"
"Of course not!" Toon Link smiled. "So can I watch them?"
"Sure thing!" Lucina beamed. "We'll be leaving now."
"W-wait!" Link cried. Please don't go… "C-can I go with you?"
"Of course." Lucina said. "Is anyone stopping you?"
"N-no…" Link muttered. He turned to the king and smiled. "Do you want to come as well?"
"Nah." The King beamed. "I have work to do. But you guys can go have fun."
"So." Lucina smiled as she turned off the TV. "What did you think?"
The three of them were in the guest dorm, which existed for sleepovers and love affairs.
"I liked it." Toon Link smiled. "What did you think…Link?"
Oh my gods. Link thought. The Hyrulian was under the covers of a purple polka dotted bed shrivering.
"Are you OK?" Lucina asked. "You look terrified? Was it the snake?"
"N-NO!" Link cried as Toon Link pulled the covers off him.
"It was wasn't it?" Toon Link said. "Unbelievable. Wait a second…are you afraid of all snakes or just huge ones."
"NONE!" Link cried.
"Really? Let's test this theory of yours." Lucina asked as she pulled up a picture of a snake on her phone.
Link screamed in horror as he climbed under the bed.
"You are!" Lucina laughed. "Wow. The hero of time afraid of a snake. Never thought I'd see the day... shit."
"What was that for?" Toon Link asked.
"I just got a text from Peach." Lucina said her voice full of worry. "She knows about us."
"H-how is that even possible?" Toon Link cried.
"I don't know." Lucina mused. "Oh. And she's also coming to visit tomorrow."