NOTE: Rated "M" for gender-bending and another lime moment
The next morning, I forgot about the pill until I woke up. I looked down my pajamas. I saw girl flesh. That can't be good... I put my hand on my crotch. Girl flesh also. I went to the phone and called Danny.
"Danny? Tom," I said. My voice hasn't changed. "I don't know what happened, but I think I turned into a girl."
"What're you going to do?"
"Maybe experience lesbianism."
"You could pair up with Dani. I understand she's into that type."
"Well, anyway, could you come over and sort this out?"
He came over. It turned out my gender was mixed.
Head/Hair-Male
Chest-Female
Arms/Hands-Male
Crotch-Female
Legs/Feet-Male
So the pill just changed the differences of a boy and a girl, and kept the similarities and hair. I was still able to turn into a ghost, though.
Dani came over and noticed the "girl" me. She blushed and gave me a hug.
"I LOVE YOU!" she said with glee.
"WOW!" I squealed, "If we're going out, this will be just a one-night-stand, okay?"
SO ANYWAY
I was walking down an alleyway, looking for the mysterious NUDE TOM place. I looked up at a map drawn in graffiti, but then I saw a shadow behind me. It looked like it was Rammy, from the ears and horns, but I wasn't taking chances. I turned around... only it wasn't Rammy. It was Lammy. She gave me a hug.
"Tom, it's good to see you again! I was getting worried about you and thought you would be surrounded by ghosts!" she said.
"So far, I haven't met a ghost I didn't like."
"What?
"Two of them are my neighbors. We're cool about it."
Then Lammy looked down at my bosom.
"What happened?"
"Rammy gave me a pill. Now I'm booked for a lesbian date."
"With Teriyaki Yoko? I heard about your humiliating bootleg. Do you think Rammy is behind that?"
"That's what I'm trying to find out."
Lammy pulled out a pill box.
"I found Rammy at her new house developing pills. I was afraid sooner or later she would test on me, so I snagged one of her antidote pills. Would you like it?"
"Thanks, Lammy," I said, taking the pill box and putting it in my pocket, "How long are you going to be here?"
"I dunno. Maybe for a couple of days."
"Maybe I'll see you later!"
I waved goodbye, and left the alleyway. I was lost, so I decided to fly back home. I should've took a cab.
I looked at my watch, and it was time for the date with Dani. I flew down to Danny's pad, and landed in his room, where Dani was waiting on the top of the bunk bed.
"You made it," said Danny, "and you got an antidote for that pill. I'm going to be out with Sam, my parents are out on their anniversary, so I guess you got the place to yourself."
"Oh, goodie! We get to play by ourselves!" said Dani, a bit childish.
"Uhhh..." I said
"Good luck!"
Danny closed the door, then Dani started taking off her clothes and her arguably nice hat. I took off mine, blushing. Then I climbed up the bunk, and Dani gave me the 101 on making out lesbian style. Then I heard the same camera clicks and flashed from the other night, and after a half hour, I heard a click. ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER!
I had enough of it. There was another humiliating bootleg on its way. I kissed Dani on the lips, then fled through the wall and back to my place. I sighed in exhaustion, then took the antidote pill Lammy gave me.
I noticed the postcard on my side table. I took out a pencil and made a revision.
Dear Jerry,
How's stuff? Next time you go to the music store, don't look under my section. Why? There's two bootleg albums there, and they're the most humiliating ones I've ever encountered. Don't buy either of them, unless you're in search of singles.
Worried,
Thomas Fay
I quickly tossed into the mailbox, and went to bed.
The next morning, I was 100% boy again. I don't know what'll Dani think of this, but at least it's over.
I went to the music store to see if that bootleg came, and sure enough, it was.
THOMAS FAY AND DANI FENTON
30 MINUTE MAKE-OUT SESSION
PLUS RECENT SINGLES!
I turned it over and read
"Thomas Fay, turned into a girl by popular demand, makes out with one of her bandmates in your own living room!"
The singles were "He Was My Brother" and "My Back Pages".
I reluctantly purchased the album and went home. The booklet had nude pictures of me and Dani standing in the nude a la John and Yoko. I found the credits, and the address. That's that last straw. This NUDE TOM thing has got to stop.
I went out and hailed down a cab. Taking it to Park Road, I found the place, and went inside. At the controls was...
"RAMMY! I should've known!"
"That's for getting me fired out of Teriyaki Yoko's band! It was I who set up those hidden cameras and the tape recorder!"
"Why me? I thought we were good since you gave me the pill."
"Remember when I flipped you off? I noticed you had a thing with the bug."
"It wasn't my fault I made out with her. She made me do it!"
Rammy grunted.
"What about the pill? What'd you give me that for? All it did was turn me into a girl."
"Exactly. I assumed your thing with her was going to carry on the day after, so I advised you to take that at bedtime."
"I wasn't with her two nights in a row. I was busy feeling humiliating when you put out the bootleg at the music store. THEN I took the pill, hoping I'd feel better. Then I was a girl, and my neighbor set me up with his lesbian sister, and you made a bootleg of that too! Now everyone will think I'm a virgin... not that there's anything wrong with that."
Rammy fainted as before.
"I'm such a fool. I didn't think you'd see those bootlegs because you don't even GO to the music store!"
"I only do it on occasion. Now I've had it with one-night-stands. I don't want people to thing that every girl I meet becomes a girlfriend. Promise me you'll stop producing those records and pull them from the stockrooms."
Rammy stood up.
"It's a deal, but on one condition."
"Should I negotiate with Egg-yolk about putting you back with her band?"
"No. Get me a spot with MilkCan."
So the promise was accepted. I met Lammy at the Chipotle, with Danny, Dani, Egg-yolk, Sam, and Rammy. After introducing her to the cast of characters, I told Lammy about Rammy's negotiation. She was on board, and I felt like it's good to see twins in the same band.
So anyway, Lammy left town with Rammy in tow, so I guess I have nothing to worry about anymore. I considered chucking the bootlegs Rammy made, but they have my singles on it, so I kept them.
I heard a beep from my pocket-it was my cell phone. I read the text.
TOM
WHAT BOOTLEGS ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING UNOFFICIAL.
JERRY
They must've sold out finally.