Sorry, it's been so long. I've been in a mad dash to get my grades up before report cards come out and my relationship hasn't been doing all that good. Long distance relationships suck ass.
It's been three months since Juan came in and fucked up the life I was building here. Emma's been gone for three months. Kate came back a couple of weeks ago.
Her eyes lighted up with rage when she looked at me. Whenever anyone asked why she left her sister her answer would change. I think that Nessie, Alice, and Leah are the only ones who know the truth.
Everyone just leaves me alone whenever I come out of our room, which is rare for me to do. I don't hunt that much and when I do I don't enjoy the hunt or the thrill of chasing and stalking an animal. I'll never feel anything except sadness until Emmy comes back.
I miss her eyes so much. Her blue eye twinkles while her blue, green eye sparkles whenever she is feeling mischievous. I think that may be what I miss the most.
I think everyone in the family really miss that.
Alice has been wearing a lot of black and has been staying around Leah and Kate a lot lately. I can tell that she's scared. Scared that she might lose the most important things in her life.
Everyone either hates me or is disappointed with me. I really don't blame them, because I honestly feel the same way.
Juan tried really hard the first month to get me to go back to Cuba with him, but I repeatedly refused. I called the lawyer I used in Cuba to complain about the annulment that was suppose to happen, but never went through. Apparently they put the paperwork at the bottom of the stack down in the courthouse.
After a lengthy phone call they finally processed the paperwork and I was officially free from Juan the dumbass fucker, as Emmett loves to call him. I haven't heard from Juan since I told him that we were no longer married. I sincerely hope that he'll never come around again.
I look up when I hear soft footsteps outside the bedroom door. It's either Alice or Kate, they both walk softly and are the only one who continually check up on me.
I'm pretty sure Kate only does it because Alice makes her. I appreciate Alice's sentiment but sometimes it's just too hard to look at Kate. She reminds me of her twin too much at times.
The door opens and Alice pops her head out from around it. She gives me a poor excuse for a smile before telling me that I should go hunt, that the family already has and that they're worried about me.
I'm pretty sure that the only ones that are worried are Carlisle and Esme. Maybe even Bella. I smile anyway and get up, throwing on one of Emma's various hoodies and tying my hair back into a ponytail.
I jump out the window so that I don't have to face the family or any of the pack members that might be in the rest of the house. As I speed though the trees, I let my primal side take over.
After I got my fill of a couple of deers I head toward the lighthouse. I didn't really feel like being in the house and I felt a little closer to Emma being in the woods.
Just as I'm about to step off the familiar pathway I'm hit by a scent. A scent that belongs to the one person I would give anything to have back.
I look up to see the form of a giant wolf laying on the ground, eyes looking out over the water.
I don't know what to do. If I try to touch she'll attack me. If I let her know that I'm here she'll more than likely bolt. I look down at my feet and hold the breath I really don't need as I bring my left foot down to snap a dry twig.
The wolf jumps up onto all fours and turns toward me with it's teeth barred and it's hackles raised. It takes the wolf a few minutes of staring before it calms down and just looks at me in surprise.
What do the fuck do you say in this type of situation?
"Um, I missed you." I let out after a few minutes of silence. The big wolf stares at me with skeptical eyes and snorts at my admission. "I know you don't believe me, but it's the truth. Me and Juan…what the hell am I talking about? There is no me and Juan, never was and never will be." I tell her.
She looks at me for a second, sits back on her hind legs and looks at me to continue.
I look at her, with a small smile in the corners of my mouth. I then proceed to tell her the whole story of how I met Juan and automatically thought that he could make me forget and how I finally realized that she was my one and only.
After I was done, she looked me straight in the eye for a few minutes. I could tell she was trying to figure out if I really meant every word I said to her, if I really wanted to be with her and love her more than anything and everything.
She finally shook her head and went around the side of the lighthouse. She reappeared as a human, in a thin, black long sleeve shirt and khaki cargo shorts.
She looked healthy, a few smudges of dirt covered her face and her eyes held a hardness in them. "Why didn't you tell me about him before?" she asked, in a raspy, broken voice.
"When? After I finally got to see you for the first time in years? I put off telling you because it hurts me to think about being with him and I was scared. I was scared that you wouldn't want me if you knew what I had done." I told her, pleadingly.
She ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "Were you ever going to tell me about him?"
I took a deep breath and answered her honestly, "No. He isn't an important part of my life and the knowledge of him would have either pissed you off or hurt you."
"I'm suppose to know everything about you, Rose." She raised her voice at me. She was getting more and more upset. Her usual tough exterior was showing her emotions clear as day. Her back was hunched as she paced back and forth in front of me and her eyes shone with unshed tears.
"I'm suppose to know about the good things you've done, the bad things you've done, what you hate and what you love. I'm suppose to know everything single thing about you, Rose. Would it have hurt like hell if you had told me about him earlier? Fuck yes it would have!"
She stepped closer to me and grasped my face in her hands, lovingly before whispering.
"I love you so damn much that if you asked me to, I would carve my heart out and give it to you on a silver platter. Rose, I love you. I was literally born just to love you, do you understand that?"
I held onto her wrists and nodded my head, letting my forehead rest against hers. We stood there clinging onto each other for dear life.
Title for this chapter was taken from the song Your Call by Secondhand Serenade. It's an amazing song, I really suggest you guys listen to it.