Monday came, and thankfully, Zowie did not find us. U-1 and I got dressed quickly, and I head for the phone. My priority was to secure some time at the studio that Egg-yolk kept blabbering about last night. I dialed the number and waited, while U-1 rehearsed his Gitaroo in the other room. Finally, I got the secretary.
"Good morning. Century Records."
"This is Thomas Fay. I got the number from Slim Guy."
"Yes, we were just talking about you before you called."
"Okay. Can I book some studio time starting at 9:00?"
"You're good to go. Just ride the loop to the Clark/Lake station, and we'll see you there."
"Thank you. Take care now."
I hung up the phone and head for the window, where U-1 was waiting.

"Can you fly with that garb on?" I asked.
"Strange as it may seem, no," he groaned, "I could ask Puma to use his rocket ship."
"Wait! NO! If you use something that took you that strange planet of yours, Zowie..."
"Zoe,"
"Might be able to find you! We'll have to think of another method."

I remembered I took notes when Danny and Dani gave me ghost lessons. I found the notebook, opened it up, and the notes said:
"If ghost touches friend and takes flight, the friend is carried in the air."
Thank you, Danny!

I grapped U-1's hand and prepared to turn into a ghost, but I remembered to grab my guitar, and it was really difficult to fly with both hands full! We jumped out the window and followed the Loop tracks to Clark/Lake. We landed in front of the doors and went out of ghost mode. I went up a few flight of stairs and saw Egg-yolk, Slim Guy, and the secretary by the front desk.
"Hey, I see you made it, Hon!" said Egg-yolk, "What do you think of the place, huh?"
"Well..." I said, quickly scanning the room, "It's contemporary; just like the east end!"
"Century is reletively new to Chicago," said Slim Guy, "I think you're gonna love it!"

Slim Guy showed me to my studio, a few flights upstairs from the lobby, and I found Wayne and Garth by the door.
"Excellent, you're here!" exclaimed Wayne.
"We found ourselves another babe lair!" said Garth, "I'll bet chicks are useless against its powers!"
We all laughed, then went inside. I had a list of the "Tommy" songs that were yet to be recorded. Among the list was "Champagne","Christmas","Go to the Mirror", and the overture.

The studio provided us with their house band for any necessary horn parts. So when we were ready, we all went down to perform "Christmas", while Slim Guy sat up by the tape recorder and produced the recording.
U-1 had a dustcover on the headstock of his gitaroo, which was where the ammo was usually fired from. He explained earlier that anything that makes direct contact with the headstock will prevent the gitaroo from firing.

I was waiting till I got to Chicago before I would do anything with the "See me,feel me" and "Listening to you..." bits. Besides, those bits have awesome guitar solos, and I think they sound better if it was played on a gitaroo instead.

Aside from "Tommy" we had to get a regular album out. I suggested we do a couple of early They Might Be Giants covers. Remember in Chapter 1 when I mentioned Rodney Alan Greenblat and I admire Greenblat's work? He did the artwork for their first album. Besides, I have never heard Rammy complain about this band.

So we did "Don't Let's Start" and put that on a single with "Christmas". Those should await good radioplay, I thought. Then we called it a day.

U-1 was no lonfger safe at home, and I had to watch my step. So we flew back to the pad and entered casually this time. I saw a strange looking purple-haired guy with a dark blue cat over by the doorman's desk. He turned his head, but I avoided eye contact and continued walking to the dumbwaiter. U-1 got in the elevatorwith Charles, and I waited in the dumbwaiter to hear what was going on. I think that guy is talking about me.

"Who is that man?" he said
"That's Thomas Fay, one of my tenants," the doorman explained
"Why does that buret-cald guy look so familiar?" (U-1 was not Gitaroo Man at this point).
"He's just a friend."
Egg-yolk came in behind him.
"Any messages for me, hon?" she asked
"None at the moment."

The guy watched the bug as she passed by. I shut the doors at the same time the guy put two and two together.
"Thomas Fay? GOTCHA!" he said, then went outside to look for my buzzer.
I got up to my floor, and rushed to the door.

"Do you know that guy who was standing over by the desk?" I asked,
U-1 was about to say "That was..." but then I heard the buzzer.
"Who is it?"
"It's Emporer Zowie."
I squealed "WOW!" and we both screamed!
"I got you now, Fay, and you too, Gitaroo Man. Now hand over your gitaroos and I will gladly (ahem) kill you."
"Fat chance, Zowie!"
"IT'S 'ZOE'!"
"Whatever."

I pressed a PUNCH button on the control. A robotic boxing glove shot out of the call box below and rammed into Zowie's face.
"Bulls eye!" said U-1, "That should keep him away for a while."

Then the phone rang.
"Village Boy!" I said, "Never mind. Don't call me that. Go."
"It's Slim Guy. We landed you a spot on WBBM's 'Bob Swerski's Super Fans' at Mike Ditka's Sports Bar. You up for it?"
"Okay, I'm in!"
I hung up and asked U-1 to come. He declined, saying he'd rather watch what happens to Zowie.

I went down and saw Zowie and his cat being picked up and thrown in a garbage truck. I giggled, and I doubt it he will bother us again.
At the bar, I saw four men sitting before a camera. The show already started without me. 75% of those guys were a bit overweight, but fat people are definately jolly.
"So earlier today the Bears won against the Yankees at our own Wrigley field!" said the host.
The four men toasted "Da Bears!" with a thick Chicago accent.

Anyway, they turned towards be, giving a thumb's up, then faced the camera.
"Listen, sports fans, we got a weal treat for you tonight. I don't know if he likes spowrts or not, but he's here to promowte his new band called 'The Gitawoo Men'. So would you please welcome, New Yalk's Thomas Fay!"

I took my seat next to the host, and he offered me a beer. I accepted and started drinking.
"So, Tom, what's this whole Gitawoo Men thing all about?"
"Well, buddy," I said, sounding intoxicated, "A gitaroo the strangest imported musical instrument I've ever seen."
"Impowrted? Where did it come from?"
"Up there," I said, pointing upwards, "in Outer Space."
Sure enough, they believed me. "Owta Spase," they toasted again.
I took another swig and they continued.
"So how about those Yankees? You feel sorry they lost, New York boy?"
"DO I EVEN CARE?!" I drunkenly said, "I don't watch that kinda stuff."
"Is this your first time drinking, kid?"
"Ever since my graduation from Columbia University. It's very nice up there. Trees, subways, buildings... and women."
I was so drunk I fell to sleep.
"Well, nice talking to you, Tom. How abowt it for Thomas Fay, huh?"
"Towm Fay!" they toasted again.

LET US NEVER GO HERE AGAIN.

I went home drunk, and I was too weak to get myself into the dumbwaiter, so the doorman came over and helped me out. I was, however, strong enough to write a postcard.

Dear Bob,
I feel a bit woozy after my first drink since college. My stuff is still comin' out good though. I miss you, man! I can't wait to come back home.
Tom

I fell out of the dumbwaiter by the time it reached my floor, and crawled until I was safe behind the apartment door. I slept there the rest of the night.