A/N: Firstly, I forgot to put up a picture of the dress Rose wore in the last chapter, but it's up now! SO go check out the cute outfits :D So I felt like uploading today rather than waiting for next week...I hope you guys enjoy :)

Secondly, I GOT 90 REVIEWS! YAY! LET'S GET ME TO 100 :) On that note, let me respond to a few:

To the Guest: I'm sorry you feel as if I'm deceiving you. Y'all know it's possible for drama to happen and shit to go down before it has a happy ending right? Well, I'm sorry you felt the need to leave, I really wish you would have waited to see things get better.

To the other Guest: Yes, things are distant, and pretty much at rock bottom. Without giving much away I'll tell you this, shit doesn't get lower than this. There's still some trouble, but it's going to be a slow incline towards a good ending :) I just hope you stick through to see it.

To fjp (Guest): This is so totally an R/D story. And I'm sorry if it doesn't seem that way at this moment, but I'm getting there again, just stay for a bit longer.

To everyone: JUST MAKE IT TO CHAPTER 30! I PROMISE YOU BY 30 EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD...4 MORE CHAPTERS PEOPLE...JUST HANG TIGHT!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything VA

DPOV

"Then you should turn the sign," I replied dryly. Krista, the barista at the coffee shop where I met Roza, was talking to a brunette with her hair curled and gold dress. Rose. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding onto when I saw her. She was ok. I knew coming here was a long shot, but I'm so glad I took the chance. I contemplating letting my sister know I found Rose, but then decided against it. "Rose, we-"

"Have nothing to do with each other," she bit out harshly as she stood up. "Congrats, you found me, now go run along and play house with Natasha."

"Not until I get you home and we talk," I said, hoping she'd let me. From the way she walked past me, I didn't she would.

"I have a car. We have nothing to talk about."

"Yes we do. You owe me the chance to explain things to you."

"I don't owe you shit," she said, spinning around to face me. "Everything's pretty clear to me. When you saw me you wanted me, so you played the good guy card and got to know, you got into my heart and made it your home, but that wasn't enough. You also got me to go all the way with you, only for what? For me to find out the next day that you were going to the other side of the world? Sure, that's not how you planned on telling me. No, knowing you, you had it all worked out and you were going to tell me gently, so saying that you were willing to do long distance, but then after a few months you'd tell me that it wasn't working out, you couldn't deal with the time difference and the absence of me. Saying we should end it until you finish, and when you get back we could pick things back up. All the while, laughing about my naivety with Natasha. You guys were probably dating behind my back. And, of course, when I ran away you saw no sense in hiding it anymore and you guys had sex and when I went over to your house before I left you guys were stealing a moment together because in front of your family you were the heartbroken son and she was the comforting friend. And then it comes out that she's pregnant with your baby. Did I leave anything out, Belikov?"

I was stunned speechless. Not because she was right, but by how poorly she thought of me. Inside my heart was breaking as I saw her eyes fill with pain as she told her theory, a pain masked by the fire of anger and determination. Determination to forget me probably, to get over me and rebuild her heart so someone else can conquer it. I didn't know what to say. Nothing I said could fix this. Nothing I said would make her believe me. Nothing I said could make things right between us. But saying nothing was the worse thing to do, because she took it as a conformation. I saw her mask of indifference fall as she took in my silence, a part of her wanting me to correct her so she wouldn't feel so stupid for falling for whatever game she thought I played on her. Before I could see her break down, she turned on her heel and left the cafe. I followed her outside after grabbing her jacket from her chair. What I saw broke my heart to dust.

She was standing in the middle of the parking lot, her back to me, sobbing. I couldn't tell if she was shaking from the cold or from her tears, but I could clearly hear the faint sounds of her crying. A sound I had sworn to make sure she never made again when Mason die, and look at us now. I was the one causing such terrible sound come from such beautiful lips.

"Rose," I said softly, knowing she'd hear me. Sure enough, her sobs stopped and she stood up straight, I saw her lift her arm to face, probably to wipe away the tear trails on her face. "You forgot your jacket," I said as I slowly approached her."

"Thanks," she whispered hoarsely. She held her hand out behind her, waiting for me to hand it to her. Unable to control myself, I spun her around and held her face in my hands. She looked up at me, her emotions showing on her face. Her eyes heartbroken and defeated, tears still silently falling. This wasn't my Roza, my Roza was strong and never showed how much something hurt her. This beautiful woman in front of me was the Roza I created through lies and secrets. If I had told her the truth from the beginning like Ivan told me to, I could have prevented this heartbreak. Unconsciously, I stroked my thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears. All I wanted to do was kiss her, to engulf myself in her scent and make both of us forget everything but the love that exists between us, to show her that I was never lying to her about my feelings.

"Rose, I'm so sorry," I started, I could hear my voice thick with all my pent up emotions, making my accent more pronounced. "I should have been honest and open with you from the beginning and tell you that the promotion was mine if I went to school again. I should have told you I picked Russia because I missed it so much I dreamed that I was still there and that my life here was actually over there. That you were there with me. I should have told you I wanted to go to Russia because I was scared that if I went to California that you would think I was suffocating you and being an overbearing, untrusting boyfriend. I thought that by going away, the distance could do us good so that when we came back together our love would be stronger. And I wanted to surprise you with a week long trip there, I had planned to take you the week before I start. I was just so scared you'd say no, that you'd say we were going to fast and that we should just wait until school ends. Losing you has been my greatest fear since I've met you, and by trying to prevent that from happening, I ended up causing it. Please forgive me."

I saw a small, but sad, smile form on her lips as she nuzzled her face in my hand. "I forgave you a long time ago, Dimitri," she said softly. I felt as if all the weight fell off my shoulder, a smile started coming across my face. Before I could control myself, I lowered my head and kissed her. One of my hands moved to the back of her neck, twining my fingers into her hair and pulling her closer to me. I felt her arms wrap around my waist as she kissed me back with just as much force. I traced my tongue along the bottom of her lips, begging for entrance. As soon as she opened her lips, the kiss picked up speed as I wrapped my other arm around her waist and pulled closer than possible, our lips starting this dance for dominance. I lifted her so we were the same height. I let out moan, feeling more alive than I ever have in the past four months. However, that must have snapped her out of something because then she stepped away from me and continued. "But I can't forgive you cheating on me. Even if you didn't have an affair, you still slept with her when we were dating and now you're with her, expecting a child. Honestly, I'm happy for you. She can make you happy and she's giving you what you wanted most." I saw the tears well up as she said the last part, even though she kept the smile on her face.

"No, Rose, wait please. Just let me tell you what happened."

She began shaking her head. "Dimitri, I can't. I am so exhausted of hating you and I just came to term with things. Look, fine, I forgive you for everything you did, ok? Just please, don't try explaining things because I don't want to know the truth if it's just going to kill me and make me hate you again. I'm done, Dimitri, just let me move on. If you loved me at all, let me do this."

"I can't, Roza," I whispered as I pulled her back into my arms, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I can't because I love you. I love you so much it hurts thinking you found someone else that makes you happy. I know I should be happy you're happy and let you live it to the fullest, even if I'm in a living hell without you, but I can't. Not when I have chance to get you back."

"You don't, Dimitri. You have to stay with Tasha and love her because she's carrying your child."

"Isn't that what your parents did, Rose? Didn't your mom stay with your dad for you? Where is she now, Rose? And how was your childhood? Do you seriously want my son to go through that?" I asked. I know it was a low blow, but maybe it's what will get to her.

"That's not fair. My parents's case is different from you and Tasha. Please, Dimitri, just let me go," she pleaded. I didn't know if she meant literally or emotionally, but I wasn't ready to do either. Having her in my arms made me feel like I was home, like I found my purpose again, and I wasn't giving it, or her, up so easily. So instead, I dropped my head down to her shoulder and nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses on her bare skin.

"Don't ask me to do something you don't want me to," I replied huskily, feeling her body slightly shiver in pleasure as my lips stayed on her skin. Then I pulled away and looked in her eyes. "Rose, your parents are no different than Tasha and I. Weren't they just a one-night stand? That's all that happened with her. I got so drunk that night that I don't even know what happened. I just know that a month later she had a test that came out positive, so I guess we did sleep together. But Rose, I swear it didn't mean anything, and I never meant to. But if I was so drunk that I blacked out, I don't even know how to explain my actions." She pulled away from me and slapped me. I looked at her in awe.

"You slept with her the same night she came and practically ruined our relationship!" she cried, outraged. Oh fuck, I thought not realized I had let that slip out. "And you guess that's what you did! At least have some balls and take responsibility for it. Who cares if you blacked out, own up to your mistakes like a fucking man. And don't you ever try to kiss me again. I have a boyfriend, and unlike you, I don't cheat. And yes, Dimitri, you did cheat on me because even if I didn't send you a text or letter officially saying we broke up, the minute I boarded the plane, I left our relationship at the gate."

"Rose, listen to me!" I shouted, too exhausted to stay calm. "I never said I didn't cheat on you, because whatever happened that night I take full responsibility and recognize that I did cheat on you, but I don't remember ever taking her to bed. I don't even remember getting to bed! I was so drunk that I was perfectly ok with sleeping on the couch. Don't you get it? She had to actually carry me to bed for anything to happen, and I don't remember any of it. Rose, she tricked me and now I'm trapped. I don't want to be with her, and she knows it. Hell she heard me tell Vika this. I could lose my own son because of you, but I don't care. I don't care about her or any of her threats, because as long as I have you in my arms, I'm happy. Yes, I know I told you I wanted nothing more than to have a family, but I want that with you. I'm willing to fight Tasha to be a part of my son's life as long as I have you on my side fighting with me. Rose I love you, and I never got the chance to say it to after I said it the first time. I am so in love with you, Roza, I went to LA to look for you."

"Dimitri, I can't do that…wait what?" She asked, taken aback by my confession.

"After you misinterpreted Tasha kissing me, and Sonya told me that it was you that was leaving, I called your father and he told me that you had were on your way to LA. I ran to my car and went to the airport and bought the first ticked to LA, hoping that I was on time to stop you. But I wasn't. By the time I got past security, I went gate to gate looking for you, but I couldn't find you. Then I when it was time for my flight to leave, I boarded and went to LA, in hopes of finding you. I went to your university and asked where you were living, but they said that you hadn't come. I didn't know where to look for you anymore and I tried calling you but you never answered. So I came back home and then I went to Mason's funeral hoping that you had come back for it, or that you never left, but you weren't there either and then Tasha decided to tell me then that she thought she was pregnant. Rose I felt like my whole world fell. I didn't know where you were, my sister wouldn't talk to me, and now I was about to have a baby with a woman I don't love. Rose, I swear to God I never kissed Tasha. I had been staying in my old room because I couldn't be in my apartment for more than five minutes before imagining you were there. And I was about to go see you and explain things to you, and then Tasha was at the door and she asked if we could talk, and I couldn't be rude and said no so I told her ok and then she kept going on that you never loved and then she said that she loved me and then she kissed me. Then something hit the wall and I pushed her away. Rose, please forgive me."

"You went to LA to look for me?" she asked, like she didn't believe me. "I…Dimitri…I can't. I can't trust you. I believe what you're telling me, I knew that Tasha had feelings for you, I just expected you to put her in her place. I thought you had, and then time and time again she kept getting in the middle. And I'm not up for fighting with her again, especially because now she has more ammo. I can't put my heart out again like I did before and risk it getting torn like that. Do you know how hard it was for Joshua to get me close to where I am today? How long it took him to rebuild me? When he found me on his footsteps I was destroyed. He didn't even finish opening the door before I ran into his arms and cried. I just saw the love of my life kissing someone else, I honestly thought I was just a toy for you. And after I told him everything even Joshua said that you were playing with me. I didn't know what to believe, but I knew I could trust him and now here we are. I'm with him and you're expecting a child with Tasha."

"But I'm not with her. Rose, please give me another chance. Please let me earn your trust. We can start as friends. Just don't kick me out of your life," I pleaded. I was grasping for straws at this point.

"I can't promise you anything. I have myself to think about, and if you're not going to think of your child, then I will. He or she deserves to grow up with their parents. Yea, maybe you don't love Tasha, but you care about as a friend and you're amicable with her and that's a whole lot more than I can say about my mom. Yes, I didn't have the easiest childhood, but it was better than bouncing house from house and seeing my father happy with some other woman that wasn't my mom, or my mother with some other guy, never fully having any of their attention. Dimitri, I think it's best if we stay away from each other, at least for the remainder of winter break."

And with that she picked up her coat that somehow ended up on the floor and walked into her car and left, leaving me stranded in the parking lot. Empty.

RPOV

As I trudged up the stairs, my feet feeling as heavy as bricks, I contemplated whether I did the right thing. Of course I did. No matter my feelings for Dimitri, there was an innocent child in the middle of all this and they didn't need to have a dysfunctional family. Plus, knowing Tasha, she'd find a way to coerce her child into hating me and resenting me for breaking up his or her family. I reseted my head against the door, my body shaking with sobs. If it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so much?

I had barely made it into the house before I slid down, hugging my knees, the tears spilling down my cheeks like a hard rain pour. I don't know what hurt more, thinking that Dimitri never loved me or knowing he did and never being able to have him. I was so wrapped in my sorrow, the pain so overbearing, that I didn't notice the people around me until I felt a pair of hands pull me into a his chest.

"Shh it's ok, Rosie, just let it out," Joshua said as I clung onto him, drenching his shirt in tears. "No one saw it coming, but it's to be expected." I started shaking my head. He thought I was heartbroken over what happened in the club.

"He loves me," I whispered, my voice hoarse. I felt Joshua tense, his soothing circles becoming a bit more rigid. When I spoke again my voice was a little bit louder but still broken. "He loves me and I let him go…just like that…" Another round of tears broke out.

"Oh, Roza," Vika said as she stroked my legs. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to spill the beans but I just…when he's around…I lose sense and get so mad…"

I gave her a small smile, sitting up straighter as I wiped away the tears, and leaned into Joshua as he resting his arm around me. "It's fine, Vika. He explained everything. It just wasn't meant to be," I admitted with a sad smile. "But he's going to live a happy life and things will be better."

"NO!" she said, her mood darkening. "You can't just accept things like that. You…you're suppose to be angry…you're suppose to hate him…you're not suppose to just say shit like 'oh well it is what it is' and go on like it never happened."

"Vika," Niko said warningly as he got behind her and stroked her shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.

"Don't Vika me. I don't get it, didn't you ever love him?"

"Of course I did!" I said defensively. "Part of me still does. And I was angry. I've been angry for four months, Vika, and honestly I'm exhausted. Part of me wants to kill him for what he did, but then I hear him tell me what happened and I feel bad because he made a mistake and now he's going to have to live with the consequences. On the other hand, part of me just wants to forget everything and be with him, to forget Tasha and live our life, raising his child like it was my own. But I can't. And I don't want to. Vika, I loved him, love him, with all my heart, but I can't go for something that's not mine anymore. I can't pine for something I'll never get back. I can't live my life waiting for him. I can't hate him, but I can't love him either. That's why…that's why…I told him to stay away from me."

"You did what?" Lissa asked as she sat down in between Vika and I.

"When he found me, I let him speak his piece. Let him explain everything. How he got so drunk he doesn't remember going to bed. He told me how he's willing to fight Tasha to the ends of the world to get custody of his child, if I was there by his side. But what kind of life is that? Bouncing from house to house, going from judge to judge, the whole time wishing your parents were together so they spent their whole time with you? I know I didn't have the best upbringing, but I pick mine of that any day. And I told him all that. I knew that if I stayed long enough he'd convince me to take the chance. it would be best to stay away from each other until he goes back to Russia," I said, resting my head on Lissa. "Why does love hurt?" I know my voice sounded small like a little kid.

Lissa rested her head on top of mine. "I don't know, honey, but it's going to get better, I promise you. I mean you have Josh now, and I can see how much he cares about you. He's been with you at your worse, so imagine when you're at you best."

I looked over at Joshua, who was smiling at me sheepishly. I returned the smile with one of my own. He's my closest friend, well in LA he is, and Lissa's right. He's the one that got me through leaving Dimitri. I guess if there's any man I trust it's Joshua. I extended my hand out to him, and when he held it, I gave a gently squeeze. "Yea, you're right about that. Well," I huffed out as I pulled myself up. "That's enough of sad Rose, she's gone now. So let's go to sleep and tomorrow you are all coming with fun Rose to the mall."

Vika and Lissa chuckled, Niko and Christian joined in after a joking groan. I smiled broadly and said they could stay the night if they wanted to. They all agreed and it didn't take long for me to give in to the heavy sleep weighing down on me.

A/N: Well that was something, wasn't it? Leave me a review and tell me what you think of Rose's choice?