You remember Teriyaki Yoko's back cramp at the end of that last chapter, right? Well, she accepted the offer to swim in the East River with Kramer. While the river did cure the other swimmers' problems (thanks to word of mouth), I was told it didn't have an effect on Egg-yolk. I guess the benefits don't work on an exoskeleton. I had yet to see her.

I always liked to keep tabs with my friend E-gor whenever I move to a new pad, so I decided to call him up.
"Hi, E-gor," I said, "I'm back in New York, buddy!"
"Really? Where are you living?"
"129 West 81st street. Just a block over from the museum!"
"Oh, really? I'm not suprised."
"What? Why's that?"
"I'm in the next building over. 131."
I walked toward the window and looked to my left. Sure enough, I saw his face sticking out of a window at the same altitude.
"Well, what a coincidence," I said into the phone, "Drop by anytime!"

I went back to put the phone away, but when I did, it started ringing again, so I picked it back up.
"Hello?"
"Hey there, hon," It was Egg-yolk, laying on her bed, her head and antennes touching the floor.
"Oh, hi. How's your back?"
"It's still stuck in that position, and I don't think that East River was any help at all."
"But it worked for those other people!"
"But not for me, probablly because of my exoskeleton."
I was proven correct.
"Anyway," she continued, "This cramp is getting on my nerves, hon. I slept on my belly last night, and my head couldn't touch the pillow," she squeezed on her antenne as if it were a rubber stress ball, "and my audience would not want to see me like this."
"Geez..."
"You know of any good place for cramps like... a chiropractor?"
"I know of this one on 65th street."
"Would you mind giving them a call and pick me up?" she asked, "I'm starting to loose my balance from the uneven weight between my head and my feet."
"Sure. I'll be right over."
I hung up.

On my way downstairs, I heard a crash from MilkCan's apartment. I thought 'That's not good...' So I went inside to see what was the matter, but then I was shoved aside by Rammy.
"Outta my way, Village Boy," she said as she charged for the stairs.
Katy was the next one out, and she took me in.
"I'm so glad you're here, Tom," she said, "Something bad just went on."
I followed her to the bathroom (so girly), the first thing I noticed was a broken mirror.
"Rammy ambushed the place and Ma-San was tossed toward the mirror," explained Lammy.
"Oh my god!" I said, "Is she okay?"
"Yes, but her dress didn't survive."
The yellow mouse pulled my pants. Indeed, her red dress was torn here and there, and there were glass shards on the back.
"MAMAMAMAM," she said ("It's okay. I have another one in the dresser.")
"AMAMAM," I replied ("Well that's good to hear,") then in English, "I'm going to get Teriyaki Yoko to a chiropractor. Is there anything I can do for you on the way?"
"Yeah. If you see Rammy, let her have it," said Lammy.
"I can't hit a girl...or anyone for that matter!"
"I mean torture her with something she doesn't like...like 'HEAD'!"
(HEAD is the Monkees' movie)

So I kept that in mind as I took the subway town to her flat near Grand Central. Thankfully, I did not see her. I did however find Egg-yolk's doorman at her building.
"Hi. I'm here to see Teriyaki Yoko."
He appeared drunk-ish, but I couldn't really tell because his face was facing the opposite direction. He slowly peeked for a while, then turned over to a phone-like intercom, and pressed the button for her room.
"Hello, this is Carlton. You know, the doorman?" he said in a sleepy, husky voice, "There's a guy in a blue shirt down here to see you. Is he your boyfriend?"
After a pause, he let me to the stairs up to the 8th floor.
I found Egg-yolk sitting down on a chair near the door.
"Good. You're here," she said, "Let's go."
I remembered about her loss of balance due to the cramp, so I lifted her and carried her on my back. Suprisingly, she was lightweight, like other beings with an exoskeleton. I got exausted when we got into the subway, so I put her down when we boarded the Shuttle. The cramp got worse and she fell down again, so I lifted her to a seat. I had to pick her up again for the switch to the uptown 1 train.
Let me say this: I didn't feel so comfortable with her big butt pressed against the back of my head, but some people say it makes a good pillow :3.

SO ANYWAY...

The chiropractor was on 65th street between Broadway and CPW/8th. Just take the 1 to the Lincoln Center station. Unfortunately, the usual doctor was absent and a younger doctor was filling in for him. He knew a lot on how to deal with a bending cramp situation like the one Egg-yolk's having. So here's the advised procedure:
1. Put her down on the floor.
2. Take her hands, and place one foot on her chest or belly, which ever works.
3. Pull!
So I pulled, and heard a CRICK! She could stand straight again!
All that was free of charge.

On the cab ride back up to 81st street, Egg-yolk and I started chatting it up.
"What's tomorrow?"
"Saturday."
"You wanna do Wayne's show tonight?"
"Nah thanks, hon. I need a break from all that late-night stuff. My mother's coming tomorrow. I think you're gonna like her."
"Ah."
I got out of the cab, saying "So I'll see you Saturday night then?"
"You got it, hon. Bring the girls, too!"
Then the cab took off. I looked up and saw E-gor rest a flask on the window sill. I looked up and waved and he waved back.
At the same time, Lammy came out to greet me.
"Hey, Tom. How's it going?"
"Great. I got Egg-uh... Teriyaki's back cramp taken care of, and her mother is coming tomorrow night. She wants you to come."
"That's great."
"Did you get a new mirror?"
"We placed an order from , but it's going to take a couple of days to get here."
"So what are you using for now?"
"One of those travel types."

Just then, Rammy turned the corner onto our street.
"YOU AGAIN! I had enough of you two!" she yelled to both of us.
Then she made a running jump towards us and attacked. E-gor couldn't concentrate with the rukus from out on the sidewalk, so he went to close the window, but he accidently nudged the flask off the window ledge and down towards us.
"TOM! Look out!" he yelled.
I saw the flask coming, so I retreated back to the apartment. When the flask broke, a cloud filled the area in which Lammy and Rammy were fighting in. It cleared, and Lammy ran down to the end of the block.
"Remember, we got Wayne's World tonight at 10:30!" I yelled. I hope she heard me.

-Lammy's POV-
I did not see that cloud coming. I didn't know what happened to me. I ran inside the building when Tom yelled to Rammy running away Wayne's World at 10:30. I didn't know why he said that to Rammy. When I got into the apartment, Katy and Ma-San weren't in, so I took a nap on the bed.

A few minutes later, Katy came into the room, suprised to see me on the bed, but when I opened my eyes, she didn't look what I expected her to look like.
"Rammy!" she said, "How did you get in here again?"
I'm like "What are you talking about?"
"MAMAMAM" said Ma-San. I had no clue what she said, but I could tell it wasn't pretty...
"Wait! I'm n-n-n-not Rammy!" I stuttered.
Then Katy went "What the...?"

I ran into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and blinked my eyes. 'Did they really think I was Rammy?' I thought. I looked down at my chest. It looked a bit 'heavier' than usual, but I dismissed it.
I stepped out, wet and naked, and grabbed a towel. I really wished the mirror was here. I rubbed the comb over my hair, trying to avoid my horns, but when I pulled it before my eyes, it looked black rather than red. I turned around and picked up the clothes that I took off. The shirt was black with a skull on it. I gulped. This wasn't a good sign. I put my clothes back on (not to mention fresh new underwear) and went upstairs to Tom's. I hoped he still has his mirror.

-Back to Tom-
I spotted Kramer on his way out.
"I'm gonna fix a friend's screen door in the Rockaways."
"You do that."
He left and 'Rammy' appeared in my doorway.
"Hey, Rammy," I said, "How do you know I live here?"
"Tom, it's ME!" she said in Lammy's voice.
'Oh, NO!' I thought.
"I don't think I'm myself," she continued, "Where's your mirror?"
"In the bathroom."
I followed her in. She stared up and down at her reflection, suprised to find herself in Rammy's body.
"Oh, NO! No wonder Katy has mistaken me!" she said.
She fell back, and I caught her. We sat down on the couch (like a family) and turned on the TV. At my luck, we got a rerun of an old episode of "The Partridge Family".

After a half an hour, I heard a drill from across the hall. As Lammy stood up for the fridge, I went to open the door. I found Kramer hooking up a screen door-Maybe the one he was telling me about earlier.
"Well that was quick. What's that?" I asked.
"My friend gave me the screen door."
"What do you need THAT for?"
"The cool evening breezes of Anytown, USA!"
I heard a choke and a cough from the kitchen, so I excused Kramer and went to where Lammy was standing. She went to the sink and started throwing up (?) some strange yellow mucas.
"WOW!" I squealed, "What happened?"
"I took a sip of orange juice," she explained, "Then I found myself barfing up a lung or something."
I looked.
"This is probablly an effect from smoking."
"But I don't smoke!"
"No, but Rammy does."

Later, at around 10:30, the band assembled at the abandoned subway station to prepare for the taping of "Wayne's World".
"Did Lammy get a new look, or is Rammy trying to sneak in here?" asked Danny.
"That's Lammy in Rammy's body. It must've been from an exploded potion-filled flask."
"How do we know she isn't Rammy?" said Dani, practicing her harmonica.
"Well, the way she holds her guitar is a dead giveaway."
We all saw Lammy tune her guitar, upside down as she usually does.
Then Terry, the cameraman, gave the signal. We started playing the theme song, and Wayne n' Garth took their positions on the couch. Halfway through the show, we heard a doorbell and in came a dancing pantomime horse for no reason whatsoever. (No, I have never seen the Late Late Show, but I heard it's pretty good.) Anyway, the audience didn't notice the new Lammy. Either we have 100% newcomers, or these people don't pay attention to the orchestra. Other than the horse, it was just another typical show. Eventually, the show ended and we called it another night.

The next morning, with Lammy in tow, we went to E-gor's pad.
"Hey, E-gor," I said glumly, "I don't think Lammy and Rammy dodged that potion you dropped yesterday."
"Was it the X-5D?" he turned around and saw Lammy, "It WAS the X-5D!"
"Anything you can do?"
"I'll have another batch ready by the end of the weekend."

Egg-yolk was waiting outside my building when we rounded the corner. She, too, was suprised.
"What HAPPENED?" she asked bewilderedly.
"I told it so many times. This is Lammy, not Rammy," I explained once more.
We all went up to my pad. Kramer's screen door was not the only thing that was there. He had flower pots, wind chimes, a rocking chair...EVERYTHING!
"What's this?" said Lammy.
"Anytown, USA."
Then Kramer emerged from the screen door, spraying water on a plant.
"Hello, neighbor!" he said, shaking the wind chimes, "Oh, I see you and Rammy are getting along!"
But we all said in unison, "That's LAMMY."
"Oh, I see."
Lammy and Egg-yolk entered the den, while I still spoke to Kramer.
"I'm going down to Egg-yolk's place later today and meet her 'modda'. You wanna come?"
"Maybe I'll join 'ya after the fireworks tonight."

I entered my apartment. Egg-yolk was on the couch putting on some eye liner.
"I got a gig at the Beekman coming up, then I'm gonna pick up Mom at Penn Station," she explained, "If I'm not at the pad by the time you get there, I might still be at the gig."
"Thanks for the heads up," I said.
I saw the light flashing on my answering machine, so I pressed the PLAY button as Egg-yolk left.
"You have two new messages. Friday, 11:30 PM:"
I don't know how I missed that.
"Beginning transmission from Planet Gitaroo, vis the intergalactic operator:"
"Greetings, Tom. This is Emperor 'Zoe'. I understand you've finished the 'Tommy' project last Earth month. Some copies have been obtained by our planet through an intergalactic service known by many as eBay. The album gets frequent appearences on the radio, and we have enjoyed the adventures you and your friends were up to, by translating the liner notes. I wish you best of luck on your next project, and considering dropping by for a visit, so stand by whenever possible. By the way, if you get this message at a late time, I apologize; Planet Gitaroo has mixed up time zones and it's hard to find the right time to contact somebody. Anyway, 'peace out' as you Earth people would say."
"End transmission."
Well that seemed to be the nicest alien phone message I ever recieved!
"Saturday, 8:15 AM"
I was at E-Gor's place at that time.
"Tom. Rammy. I found this number in Lammy's pocket. That's right. I'm stuck in this body. I bet you knew that flask was coming and didn't care to tell me. You know what you did. You put the 'kibosh' on me, and now, you're gonna get the 'kibosh'. I have 'kiboshed' before...and I will 'kibosh' again."
Me and Lammy screamed.
The message continued, "Oh, by the way, this is an FYI for Lammy if she gets her body back: the hospitol thought that the fluid they put on my chest lost its effect, so they did it again today. I recomend you take my place for a while if a cure doesn't come yet."
"End of messages."
Lammy look down at her 'heavy' chest, and started hyperventalating. She rushed out onto the hallway. I caught a glympse of Kramer at his rocking chair, happily staring at a lighted sparkler in his hand. 'Fireworks' my foot!

So for the rest of the day, I kept the door locked. Kramer is so occupied by his 'front porch' that he doesn't bother to drop in anymore. But this is due to Rammy. On the other hand, I doubt that she will actually show up, because I'm positive that she doesn't know where I live. But like in Amity Park, the ghost form comes in handy to avoid detection, and to beat any oncoming traffic. I spent the afternoon taking pictures of subway hotspots, but then when I got to Jay Street on the A line, I started thinking about high-tailing it up to Egg-yolk's place to meet her mother. Come to think of it, the surname Yoko is starting to sound familiar, like I heard that name before, and I don't mean Yoko Ono; That's a completely different story all together.
I took the A train down to 42nd street and switched to the 7. The shuttle is, as everybody knows, a long walk from 8th avenue, so taking the 7 is better for this situation, but makes a pit stop at 5th avenue before getting to Grand Central.
Lammy, Katy, Sunny, and Dani joined me at 5th avenue. They must've taken the B train from 81st Street, which switches over to 6th avenue after 59th Street.
We got off and walked up the long flights of stairs out of the station, and onto the street, where we ran into PaRappa (not literally).

Egg-yolk's place, the Griffin, was three blocks down, and eight flights up, but I didn't want to startle her mother, so we went in the old-fashioned way: checking in with the doorman.
"Hi. We're here to see Teriyaki Yoko," I said as he turned his head.
He picked up the headset and pressed her buzzer.
"Hello. This is Carlton, your doorman," he said in his sleepy, husky voice, "There's a boy-girl-cat-lamb-dog party that wants to see you. It's either that or I'm hallucinating again,"
His posture was lightning-jolted to an upright position via Egg-yolk's antenne, "Should I send 'em up?"
He put the headset down and nodded. We went toward the elevator, but then I remembered why I don't take elevators anymore.

CHARLES!

"So! You think going on a hiatus would stop me from recognizing you? Well, I wasn't born yesterday, WIMP!" then he turned to Lammy/Rammy, "And furthermore, I hate GOTH!"
"I'm NOT goth!" protested Lammy.
"Tell that to the department store clerk," he said, slamming the door.
Stairs again...

I knocked on her door, and there was Egg-yolk, and her mother standing behind her. Only it wasn't just her mother. It's was Babs, and old friend of MY mother!
"Towm? Izzat wheally you?" she said with a strong New York Accent.
"Uh... yeah, Babs. It's been a long time. I had no idea that you're her mom!" I stuttered.
"Aw, it's a smaw wald!" Come to think of it, she sounds like Caroll on that old show "Seinfeld".
Then I turned to the girls behind me, "Everyone, this is Egg-yolk's mother, Babs Yoko. Babs, this is Dani Fenton, Katy Kat, Sunny Funny, PaRappa, and uh... Lammy."

-Danny's POV (back at the pad)-
Kramer was seated on his rocking chair, and I started chatting it up with him.
"...so I pressed the ON button, and FLASH, I woke up as a ghost."
"Hmm. That's impressive!" said Kramer, "Do you use 'em a lot these days?"
"Well, there's no other ghost here but Tom and Dani. I sometimes see Tom use his ghost powers for non-exterminating purposes, but he feels better off riding the subway."
"I see."
"By the way, I was looking for Tom and Dani. Are they up here?"
"Nah. They're out on the town. He said something about a mother."
"Teriyaki Yoko's?"
"I dunno. Maybe the green girl's."
"THAT's Teriyaki Yoko."
"OH. Oh yeah. You been there yet? Tom tells me it's nice over there."
"Nah. Where is it?"
"You know how to navigate the subway, right?" I nodded, "He says it's near Grand Central. That's 1 down and S over...or C down and 7 over!"
"Thanks!"
I turned into a ghost, and flew out the hallway window. A few minutes later, a baseball is thrown in Kramer's "porch" area.
"Oh, I had about enough of you! I'm keeping this now!"
A rock is hurled toward the flowerpots near Tom's door.
"And that goes for your ROCK, too!"

It was about 7-ish, and the rush hour in the subway was over, and that meant less crowds and an increase in the interval between trains. The 79th Street station was almost empty! I saw a sign that said the next 1 train was due in 9 minutes. I didn't want to wait that long. So I flashed into a ghost, turned invisible, and flew down the tunnel as fast as I could. (Tom: How come I didn't think of that?) Tom once told me that as the upper 1 line and the shuttle line were originally part of a larger route in the subway's heydays, they were still somehow, in one way or another, connected to each other. Indeed, after passing 50th street, I noticed the track split into two, one curving to the left. I slowed down to see where it went, and there were the platforms for the shuttle. So full speed ahead in that direction.

-Back to Tom-
Back at Egg-yolk's pad, most of us were chatting it up drinking champagne. Babs was telling us how she gave birth to Egg-yolk.
"So I wemembuh Towm when he wuz abowt one to two yeaws oad, then I moved owt to Cowafornia. I wanded a baybee of my own for quwite sowme toime, then a goy combs and he says he's a soientist. He sas he's doing a cwoss paul-i-nation thing, and asks me to be a mova two a success-fowl anfwopomowfic be-in."
I wanted an excuse to leave. I could no longer stand that crazy Queens talk. Then I saw Danny appear through the window. I said hi, introduced him to Babs, and she continued her story.
"So I giv burf to Terwiaki, here, and we staed there foe a caple of yeaws, then she mooved to Wodneytown with all these over anthwos, and I mooved ovuh to Filli."
Then Egg-yolk started her POV of the story.
"I signed to the Pet label, and hand picked the ones who are going to be in the band, and Rammy was one of them. I started to get followed by screaming fans, but ironically, my records were bombs. I didn't know I was that bad of a singer, and I thought it was lack of notice, so I started to go on tour. Rammy sorta missed 7 out of the 10 gigs I had booked. On the last one, Lammy sorta crashed the place on accident, and I asked her to fill in for Rammy. I had no idea you girls knew each other until she appeared through the teleportation machine, right hon?"
Lammy blushed.
"So anyway, Lammy made it to her gig, and I went back to recording at Pet. Soon enough, her band signed, and we became good friends. And then, along came Tom."
"And the rest, as they say, is history!" I concluded.
"It's been a wong time, goys. How owd aw you now?"
I stood up and turned to the door, "About 20-ish."
Egg-yolk followed me, "So am I."
"Eggie-poo," she said (Oh no, not another embarressing nickname! I thought) "You gowta hav a BAY-BEE!"
We stopped in our tracks and slowly turned around.
"What?" I said, flabbergasted.
"I nowticed you spent a lowt of twime with her! You wanna cunsiduh yewself DAYTUHS? You're owd enuff!"
"Uhhhh..." I said.
"C'mon, hon. Let's get outta here," whispered Egg-yolk, "I'm starting to get sick of her too!"
We opened the door and ...
It was that crazy pantomime horse again!

And then Egg-yolk decided to buy me burritos at a Chipotle of my choice. I told her of this new one up on 72nd and Broadway, so we decided to fly there. I held Egg-yolk by her belly, turned into a ghost, and we lifted up into the air. Although the evening breeze was good, by the time we got to Lincoln Center, her face started to look a bit more red than the usual green, as if she was about to throw up from the altitude. So we landed on 70th street and walked the last few blocks. Thankfully, the place was still open.
Then Egg-yolk zapped me before we went in.
"Next time you carry me, don't fly."

So we had our dinner at one of the outdoor tables. The small buildings on the traffic islands that housed the subway station were in plain view.
"So what do you think?" she asked.
"What? The burritos? They're good as always."
"I mean, uh..., what Mom said on our way out."
"Oh. Having a baby?" She nodded, "I dunno. I didn't think we would be going out long enough to be considered a boyfriend-girlfriend couple."
"So what's stopping us? We're on the same label, we're about the same age..,"
"And you're an anthropomorphic bug, while I'm 100% human..."
"You got a point there. What do you think we should do, hon? If we don't do something, Mom might keep nagging us until we do."
We walked to the subway station and threw away the foil wrapping that came with the burritos.
"I really thought I was meant for Lammy."
"I thought you were afraid of anthro seduction."
"Well, yeah, until I actually got the experience back in Chapter 2."
"And?"
"It was nothing."
We walked down the stairs to the uptown platform. The 1 train was due in two minutes.
"So what if we do have a baby?"
"I dunno if it's going to be human or bug."
"When I was born the scientist told Mom that female anthros have both kinds of eggs, one of which being human."
"So what we got here is a 50/50 chance, and if we end up not wanting him, we can send it to an orphanage."
"What about Lammy?"
"I think she's better off as being just a friend."

The 1 train finally came, and there was Lammy (still as Rammy).
"There you are!" she said, "I called it quits with Babs a few minutes ago, and was gonna call you, but you weren't home."
"We were having some Mexican," I explained,
"And we were thinking of raising a kid!" said Egg-yolk.

Once we got back at the pad, E-gor entered with a new batch of the X-5D, and we all waited at the window for the two sheep to show up on the sidewalk below. Sure enough, there was Rammy walkng down the street. Lammy was standing in Rammy's body, ready to make the switch. They both stood on a bright chalk X on the pavement. Rammy never bothered to look down. She just looked Lammy in the eye.
"What?" she said.
E-gor threw down the X-5D onto their heads, and POOF...
They both yelled "I'M ME AGAIN!", but then they looked at each other... "OH NO!" yelled Lammy, and ran inside. She was back to recognizing Rammy like she used to.

Up at out pad, Kramer burst into the room. His clothes were torn and tattered, and there was shaving cream on his screen door.
"You got a rubber hose?" he asked.
"Yeah. It's under the sink."
He quickly pulled it out and hooked it to the faucet.
"What's going on?" said Egg-yolk.
"Well while you guys were gone, somebody thought it was funny to start ambushing on my front porch. LOOK WHAT THEY DONE!"
Lammy appeared and saw the mess Kramer was pointing to.
"Good to have you back to normal!" I said.
Kramer peeked out the doorway, "AHA! I see you! You're gonna pay!" then back inside, "Listen, I'll say something, and one of you turn on the sink."
E-gor walked to the sink, "What'll you say?"
"I dunno. Maybe... 'hooche mama'?"
I rolled my eyes. I joined Egg-yolk on the couch's arm and watched Kramer open the door.
"HOOCHE MAMA!" he yelled.
E-gor was fumbling with the T-shaped hot/cold knobs on the sink. He couldn't turn it on that easily. It was too late. The bullies opened fire at Kramer with silly string.

Then I turned to Egg-yolk. "So what are we going to call our kid?"