Aya's back in town! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please let me know if the story seems to be moving too fast or too slow. Every chapter is a learning experience~! WARNING: A little cursing in this chapter.

Oh, he was definitely scared now.

Sandy was keeping a relatively straight face; at most there was a hint of nervousness behind his tiny smile. His hands were tightening around his notepad as if he were trying to keep them from shaking. I could feel myself blushing at his question, one that only a few people had ever asked me. It had never been in such a polite manner, though, and it had never ended well for me. But now…perhaps now…

"I'm…" I took a deep breath. "Well, um, I'm gay, actually…"

I'm bi. I could see a little bit of relief in Sandy's face. His smile dropped away and he looked at me seriously. It took…a long time and a lot of trouble to figure that out.

"Yeah?"

Yeah. A LOT of trouble.

"...Did you ever come out to anyone? Besides me?" I paused, contemplating how to word my thoughts. "I mean…what do you mean by trouble? N-not that you have to tell me. I just…ugh…"

Sandy gave a tiny sympathetic smile while I chastised myself for my awkward mouth.

"N-never mind it. Um…was that what you were saying? Th-that you like me?"

A pause, and then a hesitant nod.

My heart jumped, and I felt a tingling wave of mixed emotion. There was a sense of excitement, a little bit of relief…and an overwhelming flush of worry.

No, no, no. This isn't happening.

Sandy won't be like that, I told myself. I looked him over again; he was staring at me with a steadily deflating smile. I bit my lip.

"I…"

You know what happens after this part. Are you really going to put yourself through that again?

It won't be like that!

How do you know?

Because it's him…

Who is he? What do you really know about him? Not a thing.

You don't know what he's capable of.

You don't know what he could DO to you. Are you putting on a big-enough front to take that risk? You're just going to get yourself hurt again.

Sandy had looked away from me, disappointment shining in his eyes. I searched my mind desperately for something, anything to say. My heart began to pound as I watched his eyes mist up.

No, no, no! Do something, DO SOMETHING!

Panicking, I pulled Sandy against my chest and kissed him full on the mouth.

NOT THAT YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

"I-I'm sorry!" I gasped, pulling away from him. Sandy's eyes had gone wide, the tears gone completely. I coughed and continued to apologize. "Sorry, sorry…I-I panicked, I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, b-because I don't…I don't NOT l-like…oh damn it all…" I groaned, trying harder and harder to push back the guilt and dread pushing up into my heart.

You really screw up everything. What the hell was that? You're so pitiful.

I was just trying to comfort him! He was about to cry!

You know you're going to get hurt again. You know you are. You can't run away from that.

You can't run away from me.

"Sandy," I took a deep breath. "What I mean to say is, I l-like you too. But," I added quickly as Sandy's face brightened. "I don't…I don't know about a relationship…I just…it's been a while, but I still…" I was cut off by a little chime. Sandy glanced down at his phone and looked apologetically back at me.

Do you want to talk about it tonight? Sandy wrote. I nodded, and he smiled gently at me.

Then let's do that. I'll meet you in the room after my class. 7:30.

"Okay."

Is it alright if I kiss you on the cheek? I really want to right now. Sandy was blushing again at this admission, and I did the same before nodding. He pressed his lips softly to my cheek for just a moment, and then he stood up with his bag and notebook. I watched him walk off, and once he was out of sight I slumped deep into the armchair.

You are digging yourself into a right hole, Pitch.

Fuck off.

You know what this will lead to. Hasn't it always?

I hate you.

I know it. But you can't let go of me. You can't admit to yourself that I'm right.

I could feel a lump forming in my throat, tears pressing against my eyes.

You can't admit how much you still need me, can you? You can't let go.

Poor little crow can't fly anymore.

Once a raven, now a crow. What's the difference?

Ravens are beautiful and mysterious, intelligent and elegant.

Crows are their harsh and ugly counterpart. Vulgar scavengers doomed to pick at trash because no-one bothers to feed them. Mangy, filthy rats with wings. That's you. No-one really likes you. No-one wants to be with you.

You still feel it.

I wrapped my arms around my shaking frame and held back a sob. Even in my head I could hear his voice as clear and cutting as broken glass. Broken glass I'd flown myself into.

"What's the matter, little crow? Out of your cage again, I see."

The broken glass cuts deep. I looked up with pained reluctance and saw a black t-shirt stretched over a muscular chest. I looked further up and saw a condescending, hateful smile beneath a perfect nose and light brown eyes; a chiseled face topped with a stylish quiff of dark brown hair.

"Are you gonna sing for me this time?" When I didn't answer, he leaned down to face me. "What's the matter, did you lose your voice? Or maybe you're trying to be like your new lovebird?"

"Maybe I'm trying to keep my blood pressure low," I said in as level a voice I could muster. I was still shaking, my eyes still wet with tears, but beneath the pain and worry there was now a seething hatred that I could never feel for anyone but Ferin. To my displeasure, he grinned at me.

"Aww, you're worried about your health all of a sudden? So we're going to hang out even less this year? Still no smokes, but no drinks either, huh…"

"Will you shut up and leave me alone?" I snapped. Ferin laughed; it was a horrid sound, like the drum of one's head against a railing. And I was the one falling all over again, into that dark spiral of fear and dread for things to come.

"You think you've found someone to feed you, hm?" Ferin stood up straight and started walking away. "Don't worry, he'll leave soon enough."

"No-one likes a crow, after all."

He was gone, and I was alone. Tears finally began leaking from my eyes, and I wiped at them stubbornly. I picked up my bag and marched out of the library, all the way to the art building. I had free time, with no other classes scheduled for today, but the art studio was open to students all day for work on projects. I went into the studio, seeing only two other students there, and hastily set up a blank white easel.

That's all for today! Man, school's still a bit of a mess and we're getting more homework. It's tiring…but I like writing so this at least doesn't feel much like work! Thank you for reading, and please leave your thoughts in a review.