Hello once again! Here's another chapter for you lovely readers~ I hope you enjoy! Warning, there's quite a bit of cursing in this chapter. Also, you can see I've added the drama tag to this story because things are getting cra~zy!
We found Emily sitting alone in the cafeteria. It seemed the other girls of the swim team hadn't arrived yet, and as a result Emily seemed lost on what to do with herself. I felt a twinge of pity for the girl, but it masked a rush of bitterness in my heart. To think I knew someone who could be so dependent on others. She looked so hopeless, sitting alone.
It hurt to remember.
Sandy and I went over to greet her, and she smiled with relief at seeing familiar faces. We went to the breakfast line together.
"We have class again today, Pitch," Emily said. Her voice was soft and hard to hear, even with the lack of busy chatter so early in the morning. "Are you going to sit in the same spot?"
"Probably. Why do you ask?"
"O-oh," Emily suddenly looked nervous. "I wanted to know if it would…be okay to sit…near you?" she picked out two different muffins and scooped fruit salad onto her plate. "I mean, I don't really know anyone else in the class so…"
"Sit where you want. I'm not stopping you," I said. Outwardly I was calm, but inside I was reeling yet again. This girl had known me for all of three days. Why did she want to be so near me all of a sudden? Did she like my art that much?
Thalia came in just before we sat down. She spotted us quickly, and rushed over to give Emily and Sandy a hug before getting in line herself.
Once again, I only had coffee and whatever continental grain had been set out. Today was a bagel, completely plain. I chewed at its edge and watched Emily attempt to converse with Sandy, whose face showed endless patience with the girl's stammering. As cutesy and endearing it was to watch, I once again felt that pang of jealousy, that loneliness.
What a shallow cause for envy.
You're a damn conceit, Pitch.
Why should they have to include you? Isn't their decision to sit by you enough? Don't push your luck; you might end up all alone again.
I tossed my bagel onto my plate and rubbed at my eyes. Of all the times…
"Pitch, you okay?" I heard Thalia ask me. She was back with her plate and was staring curiously at me. I looked away and nodded. "You sure?" She sat down next to me. I stood up and rushed in the direction of the bathrooms.
"Pitch, wait!"
I locked myself away in the farthest stall possible. Tears fell from my eyes despite my furious swipes at them. Why did it have to happen so fast? Now I was feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to breathe; in and out, looking around for anything to help. But it was so small a space, and unlike the shower there was no relaxing warmth or sound. I coughed into my hand.
You're so pathetic.
I coughed harder and went into a fit, hacking and fighting down the little bit of breakfast I'd eaten.
Pathetic.
I failed against my own body and felt bile rise in my throat. I sank to my knees in front of the bowl.
"Pathetic."
I shakily stood to my feet, wiping my mouth with toilet tissue. The stall door was still locked, but I could see the dark brown boots on the floor through the gap. I could feel the dark and cunning presence on the other side of the door.
"Not every day a crow gets sick from his own trash."
I didn't want to come out. I wanted to stay inside that stall until Ferin left or maybe, thanks to my mortification, until everyone from breakfast forgot anything ever happened. But I couldn't stay forever. Ferin was no stranger to skipping class, and I wouldn't put it above him to skip it just to torture me. There was nothing to be done. Flushing away the remnants of my breakfast, I tried to rid my face of all tears and put on the sourest expression I could muster.
Ferin smirked at me, looking me over like some sort of merchandise. I scowled fiercely, angry tears threatening the back of my eyes. Ferin just went on smiling. He stepped toward me and I stepped back. He slowly circled around, and I ended up caught in his little dance. I was backed up to the far wall. Ferin's hand found my arm.
"Why don't you sing, make yourself feel better? You've got good pipes for a mangy little crow."
"Fuck off," I snapped, trying to jerk my hand away. My wrists were too scrawny, however, to properly break free, and so Ferin pulled me against him. I made a choked sound of disgust; he smelled like cigarette smoke.
"What happened?" he asked. "Why aren't you hangin' out with me anymore, huh? Why are you hanging out with that blondie and his airheaded mermaids?"
"It's none of your business who I hang out with," I pulled harder, cursing the crack in my voice. "Because I will NEVER hang out with you again!"
"But why not?" Ferin pouted, a horrendously saturated and infantile expression.
Nothing at all like Sandy's.
"Are you too busy with a new man? Damn, that's cold, Pitch," he spat my name with a gleeful smile. "My love not good enough for ya?"
"You don't know shit about love," I pulled back with all my might, finally wrenching my arm free only to bang it against the wall. I winced, and Ferin laughed.
"Yeah? Then what do you know? What does a junkyard bird know about love? Can you tell me, Pitch? I'd love to know." Ferin laughed merrily. I grimaced and side-stepped around him, trying for the exit on the other side of the bathroom.
"Your little lark hasn't even come after you yet," Ferin continued, stepping toward me again. "That doesn't seem very nice. Are you sure he cares about you?"
"Ferin, it's none of your goddamn BUSINESS!" I shouted. Ferin laughed uproariously. I turned and rushed out of the bathroom.
The moment I left I could feel eyes. Stares, all directed at the weird guy running from the bathroom trying not to cry. I rushed all the way back to the dorms, fighting sobs as every head seemed to turn toward me. I slammed the bedroom door shut and fell onto my bed. I hated crying loudly, but it was all I could do to keep myself from choking on hiccups caught between gasps of air.
I hated it so much, when everyone looked at me.
Even though that was something I had always wanted, I hated it.
You damn conceit.
That's all for today! I'm sorry for all the sadness, but we've got some interesting developments between Ferin and Pitch! Just who is this guy, talking like this…?! Thank you so much for reading; please leave your thoughts in a review!