"She… She just raped me," Light stuttererd. "Doesn't that mean you have to leave me now?" Ryuk shook his head. "Aw, Light, I didn't know you wanted to get rid of me that badly! The truth is, females can't rape males," Ryuk explained simply. Light's jaw dropped, then retorted, "B… But… she just… She did unlawfully compel me through physical force and duress to have sexual intercourse!" Ryuk shook his head, then said, "Whoever's heard of a more absurd thing than a woman raping a man? Rape is defined as 'carnal knowledge of a female by force and without consent'. Pfft, Light, don't be stupid." Light's eyes clouded with tears. "But… that's so unfair…" He mumbled.
"Hah! Hey Light! How's it going?" L shouted. Light was walking in the school compounds, accompanied by Misa. YES! I've won! I've won! Now, all I have to do is ask Misa for L's real name! Light thought, squealing softly. He jumped up and down, punching his fists wildly, then dropped onto his stomach to roll around on the ground, laughing hysterically. Tears squeezed out of the corners of his eyes. He even got a hard on from all the excitement. L looked on impassively. "Just so you know, if Reipa rapes me today, I've told the rest of the force that you're definitely Reipa." Light paused. "Shit," he cursed under his breath. Light got up and dusted the leaves off of his body. "Is there a problem?" Misa questioned softly. Light sighed and shook his head. I could kill him tomorrow, I guess. Light decided. Nevertheless, I still have his name now! All of a sudden, L blanched. "Holy shit. Is that… Misa-misa?" L shouted. "I'm such a big fan!" The surrounding students turned to face Misa, with shocked looks etched on their faces. Screaming, they flocked in droves around Misa, who giggled demurely. "Misa-misa! Do you really have DD boobs?"
"Misa! Did you really take Cox Cumming's 13-inch dick up yours?"
"AHHHH! Someone entered my vagina!" She shrieked. "This is an outrage! Uh, taking advantage of this situation is unforgivable! I will find whoever is responsible for this," L stuttered inconspicuously. He quickly hid a silver dildo in his pocket. Nope, not suspicious at all. "Misa, it's time! Come with me now!" Her teleporting producer shouted, dragging her along by her right nipple. "Well, bye, guys! See ya' later, Light!" Misa smiled. Light scratched his crotch nonchalantly in response. Perhaps she's given me a disease, Light wondered. Anyway, I've got L's name now! I win! He flipped out his phone to call Misa. Right away, he heard another phone ringing. A few strides in front of him, L picked up a phone. "Hello? Who is this?" L asked. Light's heart seemed to sink to his intestines, which then turned into snakes and strangled the important muscle. He must have stolen the device from her vagina just now! The bastard! "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, 'HELLO?'?!" Light could not help but scream in pure frustration. L turned around. "Oh, it's you," L stated, emotionless. Light rolled his eyes and stalked off.