I sighed, the depression filling the dark room. I didn't feel like getting up, I mean what's the point I can't do anything, and don't know anything. Well I do get this weird flashbacks and/or feelings every once in a while almost like the 20 year old me in this dimension, dream, nightmare, fantasy, or whatever this is might be telling me this. I'm even confused by what I just said, and I was the one thinking it.

If that's not weird enough, every time I'm with Kendall I get this weird feeling of Déjà vu, but that might be because of Brain. Well at least that's what Mandi keeps telling me, but then again what does she know. Yeah, she's one of my best friends, well at least with the 14 year old me.

And that's the biggest problem of all, I'm 14 NOT 20! These girls aren't my friends, even if they share same name, face, and personality. Their not the ones I grew up with, not the ones I made films with, and not the ones I love. Maybe their 20 year old Connor's but their not mine.

I know what you're probably thinking, that I just forgot the past 6 years of my life. But then why would it still be 2011, and everything seems the same as when I was 14 except me and my friends be 6 years older. So it can't be simple amnesia, unless somehow we invented the time machine and my friends and I went back in time to date Big Time Rush. (1) But that can't be true, since I called my mom and she said I was 20. Plus I would have hoped we moved on from our celebrity crushes on them.

I'm going insane! I can't tell anyone about this or their send me off to an insane asylum. For all I know I am insane. I mean come on one day I'm 14 then I'm 20 the next. Yeah, it just doesn't seem right to me and it's my so called life. And the worst part is that I have to act normal, which isn't easy since I don't know what this Connors normal is. If I don't I cause every one of her friends to worry. And I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Plus what would Kendall think.

Kendall, another reason why I'm so depressed. Though, I don't fully understand why. Maybe I'm just star struck and being the fan I am and I don't want him to go. But does being star struck include never able to stop thinking about him, feeling a electricity when ever you touch, cheeks turning red a lot, or getting a funny feeling in your stomach, though I think that might be food poisoning. Yeah it's just the fact that he's a celebrity and I'm a huge fan, that it's.

The multi pitch buzz erupted from my phone. Good thing it was right on my bedside table charging or I would have bothered to look at the message. My heart began racing again, and my depression faded when I saw who it was from.

'Hey, ur not busy r u?' –KS
'No' – CR
'Good, see you in a few' –KS
'Wait what do you have planned?' –CR
'Secret' –KS

No matter how many times I begged him to tell me he never told me. I'm actually surprised he texted me, he hasn't all day. I was sure he was packing all day and I wouldn't be able to see him. I glanced at the clock still not bothering to get out of bed. '8:00' the red letters of the clock shinned. It's 8:00 pm and he's coming over, I thought he'd leave by now. But I guess you never know.

I slowly slide my legs over the side of my bed knowing the boys would be here any moment. I dragged myself all the way to the living room. "She's alive!" Scar exclaimed running over to me, giving me a hug. "That's a shocker, I was sure she'd be dead." Harley chuckled. I rolled my eyes as I put my light brown hair into a high ponytail that barley reached my shoulders.

"Funny, away Kendal just texted me saying he and the boys are coming over." They all looked at me shocked; apparently they thought the boys would have left by now also. "I know I thought they left too! But there coming and well be here soon." I said just as they pulled up in the driveway.

"That was quick." Mandi said as she walked over to the door opening it for the guys. Seeing Kendall I get the strange feeling in my tummy again, and wonder why I was so depressed earlier. Those green eyes staring at my make my heart swell and I swear I can't breathe anymore.

(1) Just came up with a story idea as soon as I typed the line. So yeah will put an OC Contest up for that soon.

I know short chapter, but I had to post something before I leave for band camp. Yes, I'm a band geek and I play flute the girlyist instrument ever even though I'm a totally tom boy. Anyway sorry won't be back till the 26 so sorry and I love you all!