We would like to remind all readers to review this fanfic or else we will be unable to produce any more chapters concerning Bleach characters and their ranks for who is hotter.
On behalf of the Unrestricted Asterisk staff, we would like to thank those who have read the first two chapters.
Thank you Lame Vs Cool for your single review.
Ah, Shonen Jump Bleach, a show with giant ta-tas and rock hard abs with super cool effects. What's there not to like about this anime…? Next to nothing!
shichi SUNSet: Hey, yo, ladies. It's 'bout to go down in this chapter. Better recognize, yo.
violet`KYU: Aw, man… I hope ya'll ready for this 'cause I'm not.
Ichired: I'm back bitches! Full swing, ready to lock and load, baby. Let's get it on!
hachi MARIGOLD: All right, let's bring on this next group! Whoo, come on!
Oh, we're comin'… The question should be: Can you handle it?
JU fuschia: I'm ready to see who gets what rank this round. I want to know if my man is in this one so I can throw some shit at the people who voted for him to be in the thirties. I'm not kidding, man. I want my baby to be at the top.
We'll see who overpowers who in hotness, and we'll show everyone else as we bring you this from Unrestricted Asterisk…
[Backstage]
As some of the Bleach cast members wait for the show's narrator to come back in the room for the last few minutes of commercial break, Renji and Rukia dance to the interviewer's remix of the chicken dance. Byakuya stares at them in confusion yet humor as he watches his co-workers let loose for a while. Rangiku leans on Toshiro's shoulder, pouting as she tilts her body. Hanataro speaks to Ikkaku and Yumichika while everyone else is playing UNO. The narrator rushes through the door, signaling the previous group of people (Lillinette, Chizuru, and Kaname) in the room.
"Okay, guys, this way. Away from the paparazzi that somehow snuck in here. That's right, enter this room here," the narrator says, slamming the door behind her once the coast is clear.
"Hey, Ms. Rogue! You did great!" Cirucci congratulates. "I love your voice overs and your wardrobe changes!"
"Thanks, Cirucci," the narrator says. "I was coming in here to make sure my partner wasn't scaring you guys."
"Nah, he's cool people," Ikkaku waves.
"Oh, well, that's a relief," the narrator sighs. "Well, I hope you're ready for the next calling. I've got about ten minutes before I have to rush you guys in the other room."
"Ah, who's the next group?" Toshiro asks.
"Well…" the narrator checks her clipboard. "Cirucci, Mila, and Ikkaku are the next group."
"What, you mean light bulb head actually made it to the top 40?" Rukia questions, shocked.
"The hell's that supposed to mean!? I'll have you know I'm sexier than most guys you've dated, Rukia," Ikkaku claims, bragging.
"Oh, stop it, baldy. Half the girls you've dated aren't the least bit as gorgeous as Rukia," Rangiku argues, pouting more.
"That sounds like a burn," Renji declares, sitting down.
"What's the matter, Rangiku? Why are you pouting so much?" the narrator asks.
"I'm getting hungry… … Feed me, Toshi!" Rangiku demands, smothering Toshiro with her enlarged chest.
"Feed you with what other than my face!?" Toshiro exclaims, trying to escape Rangiku's hold.
"Feed me with your undying, smoldering, icy, deliciously hot se—"
"No, not in public! Are you kidding? They'd have me arrested for sure!" Toshiro exclaims.
"Uh, Tora?" the interviewer whispers.
"Yeah, I'm going now," the narrator says, signaling the next group to join her.
Byakuya and Renji watch as the narrator leaves and the interviewer takes his rightful seat by the recorder and ice chest. Nanao notices the stares at the narrator and interviewer, but she leaves the thought alone until she can make more sense of it.
{Theme song 6}
She'll electrify
All of what you wanna see
Thunderwitch Cirucci
shichi SUNSet: Ah, and we're back to the Exile forum. Honestly, what boy was not addicted to that specific part of Bleach? It's like the creators just got bored and said 'You know what need to sell this? Hot castaway babes.'
violet`KYU: I won't even lie to you. I was so pissed off when my boyfriend of three weeks paid attention to the manga with Cirucci in it more than he would pay attention to me when I walked around the house in nothing but a wet towel after coming out of the shower. And you wanna know why?
Because of one kick ass body and a shocking personality. Of course, the shock would come either before or after she kicked your ass anyway.
hachi MARIGOLD: Man, Cirucci had it goin' on for her. Here comes the hot chick with the booty and the boobs and the purple hair, and that French butterfly maiden outfit—
JU fuschia: This girl was hot without even trying. All she had to do was take her little weapon of steel and microfiber out and next thing you know the erections would go up 10%. Wait, I meant ratings! Cancel that part out, I meant ratings!
Ichired: Oh my god, dude! I loved Cirucci. She wore like the coolest get-up in the exile forum. With her little star clip in the pigtails, and the white dress, and she wore no bra. Like her boobs couldn't stay in it for one moment to save her life. If you fought her right now, you'd wait for your ass to be bruised and burnt just so you could look up at that cute, little ass in that gorgeous dress… HAWT!
JU fuschia: I think she made the nymph look really work for her.
violet`KYU: Let me ask some of ya'll this. Could you really have pulled off the same look as Cirucci? No. That's why she's the sexiest.
Cirucci: I think I still have that costume in my closet somewhere in my house. Um, the costume itself was for a Girls' Night Out kind of fling, but the studio called me up at like the last minute and that's what I went to work in. It was actually pretty funny because when I ran on set, the director was like 'That's perfect! Start the camera! What am I paying you for?' So the look became a permanent image for me.
More of an iconic look from the infamous Cirucci Thunderwitch. You can bet this Halloween many will be dressing like this Bleach babe…
shichi SUNSet: Man, I'm tryin' to call up the cosplay costume department right now so I can put Cirucci's outfit on layaway. I'm 'bout to sport me a hot date that night.
Cirucci: Thank you so much for letting me be on the Hot List. I may not be number one, but thirty-five is better than forty-one.
And having you top our list is better than not having you at all, Ms. Cirucci, and for that we all tip our hats to you…
Ichired: I loves me that Cirucci Thunderwitch. You can shock my balls anytime.
{Theme song 7}
Oh!
Mila Rosenthal
Is one hot mama
Why deny the perfect flower of a garden a chance on your mantelpiece…?
Ichired: Aw…!
Yellow-san: Oooo, you just can't escape Rosenthal, baby. You just can't.
shi~green: Man, I ain't never seen a woman who looked like a female version of Chad. That's when she comes along and then it's like '… Where have you been all my life?'
GO BLUE!: Aw, man. The thick chocolate locks of curly hair, the seductive green eyes, the bikini-clad armor, the flawless dark skin—
Ichired: And that ass… You remember? Aw, yes!
shi~green: You talkin' about that ass, I'm still hypnotized by those abs because those packs alone were beautiful.
Mila Rose: Well, uh… I don't know what to say, but thank you guys. I didn't expect anyone to really remember me in the series since I wasn't in it for very long. I mean, the Exile forum had a lot of casualties—not real ones, of course—so I'm surprised by the sudden memory. Although, there is always that little note going on in my head that says 'Hm, why am I being noticed for my body and not for my work?' But hey, popularity has a price to pay and mine was being on the Hot List. So thank you for voting for me as a hottie of the Bleach series.
Ah, but it all comes back to you, Ms. Mila, as you rank at number 34…
{Theme song 8}
Can I get a taste
Of that shiny face
Mr. Ikkaku Madarame?
O-range-ni: Man, where do you start with this guy…? How about your eyes and work your way down?
Head to toe, Ikkaku was a mind-blowing addition to the Bleach cast…
pUrPlE rOkU: First of all, that boy can rock a decent six-pack and he's a party animal. What else do you need in a bad boy?
JU fuschia: Aw, man. Loyal, strong as a captain, bloodthirsty, and, of course, bald. Wasn't he like an alcoholic in the past too? That's like everything a girl wants in a bad boy.
Ikkaku: Seriously? Women like that kind of personality in a man? I thought it was all about the sensitive, shy guy—a real pussy. *chuckles*
hachi MARIGOLD: Hey, women like any man who knows how to endure anything. I'd bang a guy who has year-long endurance right now if you want proof.
O-range-ni: Actually, my favorite thing about Ikkaku was how hilarious this guy was. I'm a comedian, too, but he makes it funnier when his head comes to life in a ball of energy.
Ikkaku: Hey, I like being bald. It helps me with the ladies.
And the ladies must drool all over that hot and humorous melon of Ikkaku's because he probably would not have made number 33 without them…
Ikkaku: Thanks to all my fans who voted for me. I blow a kiss and give a wink to each of you around the world. *blows said kiss, gives said wink*