"What the hell were you thinking?" Tosh. Of course. Only she would have the balls to speak so harshly to Jack if it involved emotions.
"About what?" Jack. But his voice sounded broken, raw, unnerving.
"Gwen. I mean really Jack, what the hell? He loves you and he took a chance at publically showing you that. And you humiliated him in front of everyone there!" Ianto shuddered. The anger in Tosh's voice was enough to make him fearful, lord knows how Jack managed.
"I didn't mean to. I mean, I watched the footage Tosh! I saw how it looked. That's why I was at his flat. To apologize. To try and explain myself." That took Ianto by surprise. He had thought that Jack had been seeking solace.
Oh god what have I done. Ianto resumed the recording. He had to know.
"But he was drunk Tosh. The last time I has ever seen him get that drunk was Lisa." The sound of flesh and fabric scraping concrete. "I broke him. I shattered his heart, and then I waltzed in there and thought that I could fix it with words."
Ianto felt a tight squeeze on his heart. He could hear Jack's tears.
"Why?" Tosh pushed, kinder than before. God he must really have been upset.
"It wasn't because of Gwen that's for sure. I mean, I love her, but she's like the sister that I never had, all fire and spirit, but she isn't Ianto." Ianto smiled, did Jack really believe that?
"When I danced with her I felt like I was dancing with my first wife. I felt like I was saying goodbye to those memories, until that wedding dredged them up again. By the time Ianto cut in I was on the verge of breaking down. Not because I had lost Gwen, but because I remembered those who had come before Ianto. The weddings of my past." Ianto let a tear fall. Damn, how had he not seen that! Of course this would bring all that to the surface!
"I have been a complete and utter arse Tosh. I broke the man of my dreams heart and didn't even notice." The Welshman was floored. Did the man of HIS dreams just say that? That was way more than he ever could have thought.
"Is that why you're up here? To pay penance?" Ianto's throat closed. Up here? Was Jack on a roof? Was he contemplating Jumping?
"No, no sort of punishment can match the one that I brought upon myself. I lost Ianto, isn't that enough?"
Ianto whispered, tears falling in earnest now. "You never lost me Jack."
"And he is right; the dance was the tip of the iceberg. I've been taking advantage of him, I don't appreciate him nearly enough. Now I may never get the chance." Ianto wiped his eyes. He had to make things right. The Welshman stopped the tape. He had heard everything that he needed to know. Ignoring the other message on the phone. He dialed Jack's private office line, but was met with the answering machine.
"You've reached Captain Jack Harkness; I can't reach the phone right now. I would say that I'd call you back later, but it will probably be the gorgeous Archivist downstairs. Leave a message anyway." Ianto rolled his eyes. Of course Jack would have something like that as his call back tone.
"Look, umm Jack, sir. I we need to talk and I, I need to apologize. I didn't hear your side. But I figured, in case John has dissuaded you or something. I just. I love you Jack." An uncomfortable silence "Also, we need to chat about your call back tone on this line."
Ianto hung up running his hand over his face. Way to sound like a bumbling idiot. He downed the rest of his coffee. This would work out. Jack really did care about him.