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Jack: "I've never said it properly before!"
Ianto: "Doesn't need saying."
Jack: "Yes it does! Ianto Jones… I love you."
— Torchwood: House of the Dead
- you get home ok?
Jack pushed Send and stared at the mobile phone in his hand, willing it to light up with a response. He'd been hesitant to send Ianto home at all, given the younger man's fatigue and injuries, but Ianto had been adamant that he wanted to spend the night in his own bed, and Jack had relented. Ianto had declined to stay over at the Hub ever since the regrettable hypervodka incident, and in hopes of repairing that damage, Jack had allowed Ianto to take the lead in issuing invitations. Injured as he was, there was no chance he would want Jack to stay over tonight. Their time spent together was many things, but "restful" was not one of them.
The whole situation was Jack's fault, really. Once they realized the Weevil they were tracking was inside the abandoned warehouse, he should have taken point himself, rather than circling around the back while Ianto entered through the front. Ianto had startled the creature just inside the main door, where it was feeding on something rank and fetid. Ianto had tried to subdue it with the spray, but the Weevil had clawed his arm and bowled him into a stack of dilapidated shipping crates as it fled. Before Jack could reach him, the unstable crates had collapsed on top of Ianto, leaving him stunned, badly bruised, and—worst of all, if Ianto's complaints were to be taken at face value—covered in something that smelled of feces.
Suffice it to say that it was not the romantic evening Jack had planned for them.
Two more minutes passed, and Jack grew more anxious. Even obeying speed limits and traffic signals, the drive from the Hub to Ianto's should not take more than seventeen minutes. Ianto should have been there by now. Jack set the mobile on his desk and tried not to stare at it.
At last the device vibrated, and Jack practically lunged for it.
- Home now. Was driving before, couldn't answer
Jack's thumbs flew over the number pad as he punched out a message, cursing at the errors his fumbling fingers caused. Jack was a creature of habit, and he liked the familiarity of the outdated mobile he could dial blind in his pocket, but at times like this, he could understand the rest of the team's desire to upgrade to more modern devices with proper keyboards.
- glad you made it home safe
- how are you feeling?
There was another long pause before a message came back.
- Not my best. Going to scrub off this filth, then to bed
Jack was just beginning to compose a reply when the phone vibrated again, and another line of text appeared.
- Is it all right if I come in late tomorrow? Could do with a lie in
Immediately, Jack's intuition fired warning flares. Ianto rarely asked for time off, and he was almost never late to work. Could he have been more seriously injured than he'd let on? Or was he merely angry at Jack for putting him in danger?
- of course, take care of yourself
Jack chewed his lip for a moment, then punched at the keypad again.
- you sure you're ok? i can come over if you need anything
He waited.
- i can bring you painkillers
- or soup
- or disinfectant
He waited.
- or a new suit since yours got ruined
He waited.
- ianto, you ok? starting to worry since you're not answering
Another few minutes passed in silence. Jack was rifling through his desk drawer looking for his copy of Ianto's latchkey when the mobile buzzed again, and he opened the message eagerly.
- hey just rememberd I have 2 pick up those samples from lab at hspital 2 test want me 2 do that b4 I come in tmrw or wait til we see what rift spits at us 2nite
Jack frowned at the text, trying to make sense of it in the context of Ianto's previous request—then trying to make sense of it at all—until he looked at the header and realized it had come from Owen's number. Suddenly, the lack of punctuation and irregular spelling made more sense. He hurriedly punched out a reply.
- do it later. ianto won't be in tomorrow morning, we will prob need all hands on deck
He started to flip back to the screen with Ianto's messages, but Owen's reply flashed up almost immediately.
- what wrong w teaboy, he sick or something?
Jack huffed in annoyance—even though Owen's use of punctuation revealed the depth of his concern, which would normally have pleased him—and answered as briefly as possible.
- weevil knocked a bunch of crates on him. he's home now, resting
He hoped Ianto was resting. But he still hadn't responded to any of Jack's texts…
- need me 2 come in or go 2 his place 2 patch him up?
Jack hesitated. He'd feel better if Owen looked Ianto over, but on the other hand, Ianto might resent it if Jack interrupted his rest to have the doctor fuss over him.
- not at the moment. will let you know if he decides otherwise
Just as he was sending that text, the mobile buzzed again, and Jack toggled over to the new message.
- Sorry, was in the shower. Right now I don't need anything but sleep.
- Thanks for the offer though
- And I might take you up on the suit later
Jack breathed a sigh of relief, but another message appeared from Owen before he could reply.
- ok its not like im sleeping so ill consider myself on call
Jack toggled messages again and finished his reply to Ianto.
- ok, let me know if you want anything
- also, owen is willing to come over if you need medical attention
This time, Ianto's reply was immediate.
- No
- Dealing with Owen is beyond my ability right now. I just want sleep.
- and stop worrying, I'll be fine
Jack stared at that. Could he take that message at face value, or was Ianto concealing his true injuries because he thought Jack would be troubled by them? Or was he annoyed at Jack's attention, and telling him to leave him alone? Or was something else going on? How could he allay Ianto's concerns without implying that Ianto was a bother to him, and simultaneously not appearing to impose more attention than what was reasonable? Jack ran a hand through his hair. Why did this have to be so complicated? He sighed and composed a simple reply.
- it's my job to worry about you
- especially when it's my fault you got hurt
That sent, he quickly switched back to Owen's text.
- ianto says he's fine, so you're off the hook
- you can go do whatever it is dead people do at night
Ianto's reply buzzed just as he sent that, and he flipped back to that screen.
- I am too tired to actually have the 'stop blaming yourself for everything' conversation, but consider yourself told
Jack hesitated before replying. So apparently Ianto wasn't concerned about being an imposition, but his admonition was confusing. Of courseJack would feel guilty about Ianto's injuries; how could he not understand that?
- i can't help it, when something like this happens
- i should be protecting you, not putting you in more danger
The mobile buzzed again—another message from Owen. Jack toggled over.
- id say sit on rooftops and brood all night but thats ur job
Jack belatedly recalled Gwen and Toshiko complaining about receiving more frequent late-night texts from Owen now that he was dead and didn't sleep. He rolled his eyes and shot back a reply.
- right now I'm brooding underground. rooftops are all yours
He caught Ianto's next message just as it appeared on his screen.
- I can't believe we're talking about this by text, at this time of night
Jack winced. They rarely spoke so openly in their face-to-face conversations, and he'd found it somehow easier to be honest behind the shield of an impersonal text message. But he shouldn't have been so inconsiderate, not when Ianto had already expressed his fatigue multiple times.
- sorry. we don't have to do this now. you should rest
The answer came promptly.
- No, I won't be able to sleep if I know you're sitting up all night self-flagellating
- and don't apologize for that, either
Jack bit his lip and deleted the unsent "I'm sorry" from his screen.
- You need to realize that not everything happens because of you
- I am responsible for my own actions and their consequences
- as was that Weevil tonight
- as are lots of things that aren't named Jack Harkness
Jack sighed. He began typing, but another message from Owen interrupted him.
- nah im too scared 2 go up there no idea what u did on those rooftops
Jack rolled his eyes and switched messages again, trying to recapture his train of thought.
- but i'm in charge, how we do things is my call. if i'd gone in first, like i should have, you wouldn't have been hurt
Another message from Owen appeared.
- or who with
Jack briefly considered blocking Owen's number so he could have his serious conversation with Ianto uninterrupted, but decided to just ignore the stream of messages. Sooner or later Owen would get bored and go harass someone else. He hoped.
The mobile vibrated again, and Ianto's message appeared on the screen.
- Then answer this, honestly: Why do you always feel the need to protect me? Why is that so important to you?
Jack's heart lurched. Wasn't it obvious? Didn't Ianto know by now how much he meant to Jack? But he'd asked for an honest answer, so perhaps… Well, there were lots of honest reasons. Jack was the boss, and as such he was responsible for Ianto. He was Ianto's friend, and wanted him to be safe. And…
Jack found himself typing the true answer before he had even fully processed the question. His finger hovered over the Send button. Even though it wasn't the romantic setting he'd envisioned, here was a legitimate opportunity, a chance to tell Ianto how he really felt. Was he brave enough to take it? Could he accept the consequences?
The phone vibrated in his hand.
- not enuf disinfectant in the world 2 clean up after u
Jack groaned aloud. "Shut up, Owen!" he shouted, his voice echoing through the Hub. He quickly tapped the button to toggle messages, and before his courage failed him, he pressed Send.
- I love you
Jack held his breath, waiting for the reply. Would there be a reply? What would Ianto say to his confession? Would he accept Jack's feelings? Did he still feel the same way about Jack? Ianto had never actually said the words, not in this way. Was this too much, too soon?
When the mobile vibrated at last, he sucked in a huge lungful of dry air and nearly choked.
- sod off u twat
Jack's eyes passed over the words repeatedly, refusing to accept them. Of all the potential consequences his mind had conceived—even the ones that played out like nightmares—nothing like this had ever entered his imagination.
He finally focused on the text by sheer willpower. With trembling fingers, he scrolled back up in the conversation to see if he'd missed something vital.
- you can go do whatever it is dead people do at night
- id say sit on rooftops and brood all night but thats ur job
- right now I'm brooding underground. rooftops are all yours
- nah im too scared 2 go up there no idea what u did on those rooftops
- or who with
- not enuf disinfectant in the world 2 clean up after u
- i love you
- sod off u twat
Jack groaned and dropped his head onto his arms, the mobile slipping to the floor with a clatter. Owen. He'd opened his soul, reached out with all the love and honestly he possessed, and somehow it had gone to Owen.
Well, he reasoned, slowly pulling himself together, it could have been worse. Given his response, Owen had likely brushed the words off as some kind of tasteless joke. If he'd accidentally sent that message to Gwen, on the other hand, it might have been disastrous. Torchwood already put enough strain on her marriage without adding to Rhys's suspicions about Jack and his wife.
The mobile vibrated again, and Jack belatedly realized he'd left Ianto waiting for an answer. He retrieved the phone from the floor, fumbled open the correct message, and scrolled to the bottom.
- You still there? I dozed off for a bit. Evidently I'm too tired to do this after all
Jack tried to make his fingers type the words again, but the moment was gone. He couldn't profess his love when the object of his affections was miserable and half-asleep. He sighed as he typed a safe, practical reply.
- sorry, guess i need time to think of an answer to that
- but you should go to bed, you need to rest. sleep as long as you need to & i'll see you whenever you feel up to coming in tomorrow
- sweet dreams x
Jack set the phone on his desk, leaned back in his chair, and stared at the device meditatively. The screen dimmed, then at last turned off.