The mornings were growing colder, the further we were getting towards autumn. I woke up because the room was so damn drafty, making me shiver myself awake. I huddled backwards into the only source of warmth in the bed. Said source chuckled, blowing a puff of warm air against the crook of my neck. Blearily, I opened my eyes, squinting against the early morning light. Inches away from me, Deidara blinked his own eyes open, startling me into the realization that we'd tangled together last night in sleep. He had allowed me to share the bed with him a few nights ago and I'd been too cold to sleep anywhere else in the room since.

"Sleep well, princess?" Deidara asked. I groaned, both protesting the derogatory nickname as well as getting woken so early. I remembered that he and Sasori had a mission that day, something simple that wouldn't take too long. Recon, I believed.

I turned over away from Deidara and burrowed beneath the blankets, seeking more sleep and a way to escape the sunlight. Out of nowhere, from down the hall, I heard muted shouting and the sound of something crashing. I sat up at the commotion, startled, and caught Deidara sighing. He rolled his blue eyes, the sunlight glittering off them and making them seem as pretty as a glimmering lake.

Wait, pretty? Why was that in my vocabulary anywhere near Deidara's name?

Deidara got out of bed with about as much eagerness as I felt about waking up. My traitorous eyes dropped down to his shirtless torso, widening in surprise. He hadn't slept without his shirt before. Sunlight gleamed off his skin as he stretched, showing off the planes of muscles his shirt had hidden. The sight stirred something carnal within me. Deidara caught me staring and cocked a blond brow at me, a curious and cocky smirk on his lips.

I scoffed and flopped back down into bed, pulling the covers over me. I could hear Deidara laughing from under my safety blankets as he dressed. I counted the seconds until he left the room, listening as the door opened. The muted yelling suddenly became a louder and even angrier cacophony. I threw the blanket off then, both to get some damn air, and because I recognized Amaya's voice among the yelling. The other voice must be Sasori's. I'd seen so little of him over the course of living there that I'd yet to identify his voice, but it had to belong to him.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as my ears swiveled, trying to pick apart what the argument was about, but the voices were too jumbled. I knew that, whatever my sister got herself into, she could get herself out of. That didn't mean I didn't want to be nosy and worried. How could I worry about her, though, when I was struggling with problems of my own? A very big, pretty problem called Deidara?

It was an unhealthy thought, given our harsh behavior with one another. What was it about the man that drew me to him? What in his volatile, perverse, wicked personality could possibly get under my skin so much? Every time I thought of his smug smirk, the way his eyes sparkled whenever he was creating a new sculpture, when he was ready to blow them up and watch the show…the way his hands felt on my body whenever he touched me…my heart would start to race, just like it was right then.

"Alex, c'mere for a second, yeah!" Deidara's call made me muffle a groan into my pillow.

"You come here," I called back, "I'm comfortable."

"If you make me come get you, you'll regret it." Deidara's warning wasn't one I doubted. With all the noise of a dying cat, I dragged myself out of bed to go and see what the blond wanted. Half of the blankets clung to me as I left, forcing me to wrestle them off me and throw them all back onto the bed. Yeah, great, that'd be fun to remake.

I stormed into the living area to find Deidara standing near the kitchen, while that bastard who liked to torment my sister and me, Hidan, sat in one of the chairs. He looked a little worse for wear, hinting that he must've returned from a mission not too long ago. He spared me a look and burst out into a laugh. I flinched at the loud sound. "What? What did you want?" I asked, directing at least one of those questions at Deidara.

Hidan turned his head towards Deidara. "You move fast, don't you, Deidara-chan?"

I snickered behind my hand at the honorific, earning a foul look from Deidara, the same one he aimed at Hidan not a moment later. Of course, Hidan had only furthered my own curiosity instead of answering it. I was about to repeat my question, hoping someone would give me a damn answer, when a man happened to brush past me then. It was the tall, imposing swordsman. Kisame, if I recalled the infamous stories I'd heard correctly.

"You have a hickey, kid." Kisame was the one who answered me. It took a few seconds for the realization to sink in, and when it did, I was darting from the living area and back towards my shared room. The bathroom mirror was still misty from Deidara's early shower, and I angrily scrubbed the steam off until I could see my reflection. There, right on my neck, was a violet hickey, plain as day. I rubbed at my neck too, as if I could manage to scrub the hickey away if I tried hard enough. "Damn it, you stupid blond," I muttered to myself. His voracious attentions had only grown bolder over time, and it was showing. Now he was leaving marks in visible places, leaving me no hope of covering them up.

I was to blame, too. I had to own up to that shameful admission. I'd stopped trying to push Deidara away at some point, perhaps that very first night it had all begun.

"Watch yourself," Deidara's sudden voice behind me made me jump and whirl to face him. Jesus, for someone so loud, he could sure sneak up on people when he wanted. Deidara pressed me back against the counter, where the marble dug some into my back. I lifted my chin to be more level with his height and look into his eyes.

"What did you want?" I repeated, mindful of how close my mouth was to Deidara's.

The bomber grazed his fingers reverently across the hickey on my neck, drawing a shudder from me. "Sasori and I will be gone until late tonight. Think you can be good until then, yeah? I'm not gonna be here to save you."

"You're no knight in shining armor," I reminded him. I glanced to the side when Deidara's door burst open and Amaya fell through, shoved to the floor by an unseen force. I could hear Sasori say something to her, to which she snarled in return, making my hair stand on end. The vicious sound wasn't directed at me and it still terrified me. Deidara clicked his tongue in disapproval at the display before he cupped my face and turned me, taking my attention away from the apparent war transpiring. He pressed a chaste kiss to my mouth. I closed my eyes to savor the brief moment, realizing I was behaving like someone who had become addicted to something insidious for them. "Be good, kitten. Maybe you'll get a reward, yeah."

A reward didn't sound super promising, but Deidara had already left before I could ask if my reward might be for him to just leave me alone. It would be easier if he did instead of tempting me.

The blond stepped over my sister as he left, locking us both inside. It was the first they had left us alone together, but my delight for that was dampened by how obviously upset she was. I rushed to her and fell to her side, where I reached to try and help her up. "Amaya, are you hurt?"

She growled at me when I touched her, pulling her arm away. Wounded by her abrasiveness, I repeated her name in a surprised tone.

It seemed to snap her out of it, but she didn't move her arm back for me to touch. "Amaya, come on, you have to get up." I wasn't sitting on the floor all day, and neither was she.

"No, leave me here to die before he comes back and does it himself." Amaya's dramatic protest was…disconcerting. I sighed as I brushed her hair from her eyes, happy that she didn't snarl me away, that time.

"What are you talking about? What happened, why were you two arguing?" I asked, allowing my curiosity to the forefront.

Amaya exhaled a weary sigh, and I realized then how utterly exhausted she looked. Her eyes were dull and drained. "I made him angry," she responded emptily. Her anemic answer irritated me some, but I could press her for answers once I got us both off the ground. Taking her arm, I hefted her up and pulled her to the bed. She stumbled forward and fell against the mattress, grunting as she caught her balance and clambered on up. "Damn it, Alex," she muttered, her voice heavy with effort. Had Sasori done the same thing Deidara had done to me, that horrible pain that the bracelets could cause? Deidara hadn't repeated that incident—if anything, the only pain he was causing me lately was a headache.

Amaya winced as she sat up, reminding me much of how I'd felt when Deidara had used the bracelet against me. You felt like you couldn't move, like your very bones ached if you so much as breathed. "What did he do?" I asked, putting more force into my inquiry.

Amaya rolled her shoulders lazily. "I pissed him off, so he knocked me around a little," she replied. Her evasive, laconic answers were about to piss me off. I hated those types of replies, especially when they didn't even answer anything

"That's it?" I asked. She looked uncomfortable, turning to face away from me.

"Never mind, Alex. It doesn't matter. I just want to get some sleep before they get back, okay?" Amaya was already sinking into the sheets as she spoke, her eyelids fluttering shut. She'd conked out within seconds, leaving me on my own. Now I could really tell something was wrong, she was completely out of it. I wanted to help her, somehow, but…

How could I help her if I couldn't help myself?

I must have passed out at some point, myself. I remembered I'd been reading one of the books Deidara had gotten for me, an effort to keep me from getting into anything else, the next I was waking up beside my sister to the sound of the base entrance slamming shut. It always echoed throughout the entire base. Amaya hardly moved at the sound, though it woke her up. "They're back," she said under her breath, sounding dry and defeated. It spooked me, and I was about to sit up and demand she explain everything, but we had no time for that. Deidara clicked the door open then, his eyes grave.

"Danna wants to see you," he said, looking right at my sister. "Immediately." He stood by the door to let Amaya out. I reached out as she got out of the bed, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't stand between her and Sasori, not for long, at least. Her teeth were chewing on her lower lip as she left, nodding at Deidara as she passed him. My stomach wrung itself as Deidara shut the door, sighing. "Best pray for your sister, yeah."

I'd like to do a lot more than pray. Deidara didn't spare me a glance as he fetched clothes from a drawer and disappeared into the bathroom to wash off the dirt and blood clinging to his skin. My own hair was still damp from the shower I'd taken earlier; I'd bet that's why I'd passed out, after getting all cozy after a hot shower. I hoped all the hot water was gone when Deidara went to use it, and I wanted that for no reason other than pure pettiness. The blond's shower was broken; when you wanted cold water, you turned the knob to hot, and vice versa if you wanted warm water. It gave you the exact opposite of what you expected and what you wanted. Much like Deidara.

When Deidara came out of the shower, his long hair cascading in a damp wave down his shoulders, I felt my mouth go dry. I was woefully unprepared for the stunning sight of the young man wearing only a towel around his waist. My eyes traveled lower, following the dip of Deidara's hips.

"Like something you see, yeah?" Deidara asked, his teeth bared in a suggestive leer. I scoffed at the insinuation and turned my head—yeah, fuck, I'd gotten caught. I could still brush it off.

"You know," Deidara continued, "I'm surprised you're still a virgin, yeah."

I stiffened a bit. I'd never specifically shared that fact with him, but he'd deduced it himself and I'd never outright lied about it. "Why's that?" I asked, well aware I was confirming Deidara's suspicions.

"Most street kids resort to sex to get what they need, yeah. I've seen plenty of whores lying around the alleys."

Everything about that statement rubbed me the wrong way. Rage bubbled in my gut and boiled over, spilling like the words were spilling out of my mouth. "How dare you!" I snarled, "people do what they have to, you have no right to judge them, and you have no fucking right to assume that about me, either!" I wouldn't have sunk to that, I could never picture it, but I had no right to judge those who had to. I respected people who were willing to sacrifice enough to take care of themselves and those who relied on them. Deidara had no fucking right. "Fuck you!"

I gasped when I found myself shoved onto my back, Deidara's hands clamping around my wrists and pinning them beside my head. "Be careful what you wish for, yeah."

A startled flush rose onto my face, but this position was far from unfamiliar. Deidara's smirk broadened and he leaned down to kiss me. Reflexively, I lifted my head to press against him and kiss back. I couldn't ask not to be judged for it, because I judged the hell out of myself. Deidara had that way about him that sucked a person in and held them there, unable to crawl out, the only path was to sink deeper. Deidara's tongue pressed against my closed lips, coaxing me to part them and allow him to deepen the kiss. I still hadn't quite gotten the hang of it, but I tried to mimic what Deidara did. He'd never complained about my kissing, at least.

I made the smallest of sounds and squirmed against Deidara as his tongue slipped into my mouth and against my own. Deidara nipped at my lower lip as he lifted away a fraction. "You gonna be good if I let you go?" he asked, giving my wrists a purposeful squeeze. I nodded my head, my mouth open as I sucked air into my burning lungs. Deidara let me go, and instead of doing what I should've and shoving Deidara away, I reached up and buried my fingers in his hair. He emitted a surprised sound as I pulled him down into another kiss.

I was caught. I'd become addicted to a drug far more heinous than anything I could have picked up on the streets.

I looked into Deidara's eyes as I bit his bottom lip and pulled it between my teeth, watching as his blue eyes grew hazy with lust. It filled me with a sense of pride, knowing I was the one prompting Deidara to sink just as much as I was. Hungrily, Deidara began to unbutton the shirt I was wearing and all but ripped it off me, the fabric tearing as he shoved it off my shoulders. I shrugged it off and let it get lost amongst the rustling sheets. Deidara's palm rested on my hip, and I felt teeth nibbling at my skin.

I resisted the urge to cover myself when Deidara's free hand rose to my chest, plucking at one of my nipples. They were already hardening from the cool air, and Deidara's attention to them wasn't helping. I groaned, turning my head to the side and allowing Deidara access to my throat. Warm, soft lips grazed my sensitive skin, leaving a trail of wet warmth behind as Deidara licked a stripe down my neck. His teeth hinted near my shoulder before I felt him bite, sinking his teeth into me. I cried out at the feeling, arching my back. Our hips pressed together because of my movement and I could already feel Deidara's erection. Great, he was leaving me more hickeys to hide. Instead of irritating me, the thought managed to turn me on. I didn't want anyone knowing what had happened, but the thought they could made my heart race.

Deidara slipped lower down the bed, and I shivered harshly when he blew a puff of warm air over my nipple. I tried to brace myself, but I still flinched when he wrapped his lips around the pert bud, his hot tongue laving over it. Sharp tingles of pleasure arced through my nerves, sending blood straight south. I rolled my hips against Deidara's this time, outright seeking more friction. The thin towel was doing little to hide any of Deidara's modesty, not that he had much left. I skimmed my fingers down the blond's back, digging my nails into his hips to force his hips down against mine.

Deidara growled, grazing his teeth against my nipple. His free hand reached up to roll my other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, leaving me to gasp and whine under the attention. With his free hand, Deidara slid it lower to unbutton my jeans and push them down my thighs. The realization made me sober some and I flinched away from Deidara. He pressed a kiss to the underside of my jaw. "It's all right, I've got you, yeah."

I exhaled a shaky sigh, my ears flattening down in distress. Deidara leaned back up to place a kiss against my mouth, his hand now rubbing against the tent in my boxers. It was hard to think anything when he was moving his hand like that, ripping a frantic moan from me. The kiss remained soft, reassuring, like a promise of sorts. I hugged my arms around Deidara and tilted my head, nipping at Deidara's ear. "I want you to fuck me," I murmured, the salacious request drawing a growl from Deidara.

He didn't disappoint.

I was trembling in the aftermath of our sex, staring at the ceiling in a complete daze while beside me, Deidara tied off the condom to throw it away. My nerves were still thrumming with pleasure and my limbs felt heavy, moving was off the agenda for the night. Maybe even part of the next morning, if the threatening ache in my back burgeoned into something greater.

Deidara got back into bed and turned over to hook an arm around my waist. I didn't shy away, but I didn't sink into his embrace, either. I had just lost my virginity, and it was to a man I'd known a few weeks at most. I couldn't remember the date of the day my sister and I got abducted, but it had been a couple of moon cycles, I thought.

Deidara sighed against my neck and I shuddered. My mother once, long ago, said people laid with people they loved, that was why she'd married our father and had children. I mean, obviously I wasn't going to be having children myself, but I had still disregarded what I had thought for so long to be important. I'd slept with someone I didn't love and who definitely didn't love me in return. Now what was I going to do when Amaya and I broke out of this place? Forget about those baby blues that looked at me with such passion, such intensity? Forget the voice that had whispered reassurances to me, who laughed at my sarcastic remarks? Forget those hands that could sculpt and create beautiful things and that touched me with reverence?

…Could I also forget the times they'd touched me in anger?

Could I forget Deidara?

Oh, I was fucked.

I was hoping Sasori's temper may have softened while he was out, that he might've forgotten what had transpired that morning, but those hopes were all in vain.

Earlier that morning…I had royally fucked up.

I awoke pressed up against Sasori's back. I'd started sleeping in his bed ever since the night the crack had started letting water into the corner, even on nights that it didn't rain. Sasori never said anything, nor did he fix that crack in the wall, so I assumed him to be accepting of the new conditions. Sasori slept much less than I did; he would go to bed after I did and tended to rise before I did. That morning, however, I woke up pressed to his side, leeching warmth from him. It wasn't the first time it had happened, I often woke up once or twice a night and had to separate myself from him before he woke up. I couldn't say for sure if Sasori was aware of it happening or not, but I was trying to keep him from finding out if he didn't.

I sat up and stretched, groaning as the muscles in my back popped in protest. Sudden, gentle fingertips grazed along the tense planes of my back, startling me. I arched away with a gasp and turned my head to glance at Sasori, the perpetrator of almost giving me a heart attack.

Sasori looked back at me dryly, "Still so jumpy?"

"You haven't given me much reason not to be," I said. In the weeks (how many, I couldn't say) I had lived as Sasori's prisoner, he never failed to startle me every chance he got. I was starting to wonder if he was doing it on purpose. I watched as the man left the bed, stretching out himself. The sweats he was wearing slipped down his hips a little, revealing a faint trail of red hair to me.

I cleared my throat as I looked away. It wasn't my first sneaky glimpse, I doubted it'd be the last. Sasori caught my attention rather easily, whether I found myself staring at him or latched onto his every word when he began to talk to me about his art form. His puppetry and the puppets themselves were his proudest achievements, I'd soon learned, and I could prompt stories about each one of them from him, if Sasori was in a good enough mood. It took him several nights to indulge me at all, but eventually he'd grown weary of my constant probing and began to share. I found that I liked the stories, more than that, I liked listening to the soothing lull of Sasori's voice.

I was a disgrace for treating my captor as human when I should've treated him like the enemy he was.

"You're too tense," Sasori broke into my thoughts suddenly, "that's why you're so sore in the mornings." He glanced over his shoulder at me as he dressed, all the while I kept my head down. I wasn't sure for whom I was looking away for, myself or Sasori.

"I'm 'tense' because I'm a captive in a dangerous place," I snipped back. "And, I'm stuck with an S-rank bastard. How easy would you find it to let loose?"

Sasori scoffed as he finished dressing, running a hand through his short locks. "Be careful what you say, girl. Words can get you in as much trouble as actions."

I sneered at Sasori as I got out of bed, pointing a finger at him. "I'm not afraid of you," I told him, not my brightest moment. "What are you going to do, throw a few dolls at me?

Stupid, stupid girl.

I gasped as I collapsed to the ground, my knees making a painful sound as they cracked against the floor. None of my limbs would respond to me anymore, even as I struggled with all my might. They were at the mercy—I was at the mercy—of formidable strength. Oh, yes, I was afraid. I cringed in pain and horror, watching as Sasori approached me, and I had nowhere to go. I wanted to shrink away from the imposing man as he neared me, eyes ablaze with annoyance. He reached out and gripped my jaw, roughly tilting my head up to face him. "What was it you said, about not being scared?" he murmured coolly. I was certain that, if he couldn't hear my stampeding heart, he could see the raw terror in my eyes. I would almost rather Sasori yell at me, yelling was much more predictable than Sasori's quiet, enraged tone. It still managed to fill my entire head like yelling would have.

My fear did nothing to reign me in like it should have. I wasn't having it today, not after so long of sitting pretty. Everyone had their limits, and mine were cracking. "Let go of me!" I seethed, "you wouldn't be so brave if you didn't have me at your complete control!"

Sasori narrowed his eyes. From the corner of my gaze, I saw him flick his forefinger. It was such a benign movement—one that sent me sprawling to the side. My body jerked as if Sasori had thrown me, and I crashed into the wall, cracking my head and back against the solid surface. I cried out, but the sound of my body colliding with the wall mostly drowned out my voice. "What the fuck is—"

"You say those words, but you fail to understand them." Sasori raised his hand and pinned me up against the wall, like a child pinning a butterfly. "You're right, I have complete control over you. Now, remember that and learn to respect me before I do something I might regret!" his voice began to rise in anger then. I pinned my ears down against my hair, as if I might block his yelling out. I'd only heard him raise his voice once, and it was to call out to Deidara.

"You're crazy!" I yelled back, "why don't you just let me go! What use do you have for me, you bastard?!"

Sasori curled his fingers and my body got yanked forward. I cried out as I landed against his chest, startled by the firm muscle hidden behind his shirt. I never pegged Sasori for raw physical strength, not when he favored long-range battle so much. Sasori didn't even flinch when I landed against him, and I scrambled to get my hands on his chest to push some distance between us, but he wouldn't allow me much room to move. "I'm sure there are many uses for you, girl," he murmured, his voice returning to that low and dangerous timbre. I couldn't help a shiver at the implication behind Sasori's words.

I snarled in retaliation, the last line of defense I seemed to have. Sasori scoffed and dropped me, leaving me to wheeze on the ground as he vanished into the bathroom to, I presume, finish getting ready. I only vaguely recalled that he was going on a mission today with his partner. Sasori saw fit to remind me, anyway. "Deidara and I won't return until later tonight. Behave yourself until then, you're acting like a wild dog."

"Fuck you, I'll find a way out of here!" I snapped, still buzzing with rage that I was struggling to regain control of.

Sasori scowled at me when he came back. "You're not nearly as strong as you think, child. Learn that before you get yourself hurt."

I lunged at Sasori. What came over me, I wasn't sure, but I'd already done it and couldn't take it back. I regretted it the second my body twitched into motion. Sasori sidestepped my attack, dodging completely. I thrust my arm out in a last-ditch attempt to punch him or claw him, at least wound him somehow. Sasori caught my wrist and yanked me forward, onto my knees. I cried out in pain, but Sasori didn't let up. He wrenched both my arms behind my back, rendering me all but helpless. I struggled against him fruitlessly, thrashing and tugging against him until finally, I couldn't anymore.

My breathing was ragged as I fell still, panting and sagging in Sasori's grip. "You see?" the redhead began, "I have you at my mercy. I can do anything I want, and there's nothing you can do about it." My eyes widened at the warm breath that fanned across my ear, the matter-of-fact tone of his voice making me tremble in frightened anticipation. Sasori dropped my arms then, and I hissed in pain as they fell back into place, my shoulders aching from being held in the tense position. My relief was fleeting, for Sasori grabbed my wrist and yanked me back off the floor to drag me out of the room.

I stumbled over my own feet as he yanked me towards Deidara's room, where he pushed the door open and threw me inside, where I fell to the floor. "I'll deal with you when I get home," he hissed at me.

When Sasori had come home and Deidara had come to tell me, I was sure both he and Alex could hear my pounding heart. I trudged out of the room, certain I was heading for my death. When I reached my room and shut the door behind me, it felt like I was sealing my own fate. Sasori kept his back to me for several seconds as he finished writing something at his desk. When he stood, the noise the chair made caused me to flinch, but it was nothing compared to my flinch when Sasori turned and pinned me to the wall with a single look. He approached me with a calm stride as he came to stand over me. His hands gripped my wrists to pin them up next to my head. I winced and swallowed, but I was unable to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat.

He was stronger than I was and that made it futile to try to unpin myself, but I still kicked my legs out in an attempt to hurt him. I hated feeling so vulnerable, with him restraining me like that! Sasori watched me, unimpressed, shifting his position to make it difficult for me to kick my legs out. I swore at him something fierce. He couldn't do this to me—he couldn't make me feel helpless and useless like this! I wasn't weak, I wasn't going to be a fucking victim, not for him.

"Still feel brave, girl?" he asked me, his face only inches from mine. My heart was aching in my chest, but I refused to look away. Sasori leaned closer and closed the distance between us, his lips just barely skimming my own. I began to tremble, heat rushing to my face. "You're weak, you're vulnerable. Do you still think you can escape me and run off?"

Slowly, I shook my head. No, I didn't believe that, I wasn't sure I ever did. I'd been trying to piss Sasori off, I'd wanted to get to him as much as he'd gotten to me, and I'd succeeded.

"You're shaking," Sasori pointed out. "Are you scared of me?"

I sunk my teeth into my lip. If I were to lie, Sasori would see right through it, but to admit it? I would only be giving Sasori more power, and he didn't need any more of that.

With one hand keeping my wrists pinned, Sasori slid his free hand lower, pausing at the hem of my shirt. I caught onto his game, then. "Are you?" he repeated, promising consequences if I didn't answer.

"Yes," I admitted breathlessly, pressing back into the wall. I…I didn't believe Sasori would go through with it. I didn't see that in him. But, it was the threat, the realization that he could, that made me confess my terror of him.

Sasori pulled his hands away, a satisfied gleam in his eyes. "I've finally found a way to control you."

Is that really what you want?