Jess watched as the others played football, running around and kicking goals as they screamed to each other in utter joy. One thing she did notice however was that Ben was being unfairly excluded by Jimmy, which brought up such a rage in her that she wanted to get up and slam Jimmy in the face for it… but she knew more than anything that it was the withdrawal symptoms speaking more than her own mind. She had also noticed - and she was very smug about this fact - the new relationship between Hal and Lia.
They were always a tight knit pair, but they were much closer now, sneaking glances when they thought the other wasn't watching and holding each other for much longer than friends would, Jess even thought she saw Hal kiss Lia in the morning before anyone else had gotten up, but she was half asleep at the time and didn't think anything of it. She was happy for the pair, but all it did was make her more lonely - she thought she was being stupid she was only 15 after all, what 15 year old needs or understands love? But the thing was, she didn't want it with just anyone… she wanted Ben.
Sighing as the game ended, Jess looked down and blushed as Ben met her eyes. Ben and her had gotten to become really close friends, he didn't know about her and Lia's past, but he did know her as a person and he wasn't judgemental, he just like Jess because she was Jess. She heard someone sit down beside her and let out a huge breath, turning she saw Ben smiling at her. "You should have come and played" he said, before he laid back down on the ground and stared at the side of her face.
Sighing deeply, Jess leaned back as well, smiling as she felt Ben's hand wrap around hers and then confusion as her heartbeat sped up, he was holding the hands with the veins, and he hadn't even flinched. "I don't know how to play." she whispered softly, thinking back to the amount of time she had spent inside the hospital. "I was sick as a kid so I didn't get to go outside much… didn't have any friends other than Lia." she whispered, feeling Ben's hand clench tighter around hers.
"I noticed that Jimmy wasn't being to polite though." she whispered, seeing Ben's face drop. "Yeah." he sighed, turning his head away. "It's cause of my spikes." he whispered as he looked up at the sky, shading his eyes slightly. She turned to look at him, "it shouldn't matter to anyone." she said angrily, "I know they're there and I don't give a damn do I?" Ben smiled slightly to him self and nodded, "although we're both products of the skitters, yours isn't easier to hide, but it's still easier than me. It sticks out of my back." he sighed and looked down as Jess raised her hand to his back.
"You don't mind?" she asked softly, staring at the raised spikes that jutted angrily out of his skin, Ben shook his head and turned his eyes to hers and kept the eye contact as her small hand brushed over the winced slightly at the contact, "sorry!" Jess exclaimed, panicking and worrying that she had somehow hurt him. Ben raised his eyes to meet hers again and shook his head, "It didn't hurt." he whispered, "you just shocked me is all." She felt an undeniable pull towards Ben and watched as his handsome face was brought closer, his hand clenched around hers tightly and gave it a reassuring squeeze as their noses touched.
Jess let out a nervous breath and fought back the shaking in her hands as she realised what was going to happen, and if she was being honest with herself… she wanted it to happen, she'd had a crush on Ben for a while and wanted him to like her back more than anything, he was kind and caring and he didn't care about the skitters and their experiments on her, he just saw her as Jess - the slightly shy girl who played piano and got mad when someone insulted her family or friends, she could feel him breathing heavily as their lips got closer and closer.
"Ben! Jess! Dinner!" came the loud call, Jess and Ben jumped away from each other like they had been shocked, though Jess felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment as she stood and turned to look at Hal's smirking face across the grounds, her and Ben had been the only ones left out on the grass, everyone else must have been inside, Jess shoved Hal aside and ignored his questions as she fought back the tears in her eyes and the anger that she felt towards Hal, Ben probably had felt sorry for her… that was all, he didn't care about her and she was just some stupid girl who was giving herself away freely again, she wouldn't go through any of it all over again.
She walked inside and threw herself down into her chair, ignoring Lia's questioning look from across the table and trying not to move over as Ben sat down next to her. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't say anything, just stared down at the plate and slowly began taking bites, ignoring the conversation around her as she tried to focus on the food that had no taste and the juice that she couldn't even feel in her throat. She finally came back to reality when Rick threw his fork down and shoved away his food, Jess' head shot up to stare at him in utter shock. "How can you eat their food?" he whispered, staring directly at Ben with such emotion and confusion that she almost jumped over the table to slam Rick into the floor, she was endangering Ben's safety by being with him… but then again so was Rick.
"And you and your sister? Why haven't you gone back home? You eat their food and talk like them but you know that they're the ones that kept you alive." Ricks words rung in the air like a slap to her face, she felt betrayed by the boy and trying to ignore the stares of the people in the room, pulled her jacket down again and shoved away from the table, trying to keep her undeniable anger under control as she walked up the stairs to their rooms, hastily wiping away traitorous tears as she sat on the window seat and hugged her knees to her chest.
She hated the skitters for what they had done to her and Lia, she hated them so much she felt the reverberations to her very core and she knew that if she ever met the skitter that had injected her, she'd shove a knife down its throat before it could even blink, even though the skitters 'venom' as they called it had saved her miserable life and led her to Ben, she wished that her life hadn't had come at such a high price - she never believed that her life would be worth so much or that the Skitters would go to such lengths to acquire her.
She heard a small cough behind her and turned, ignoring the fact that she could feel the tears sliding down her face as she laid eyes on Ben. She tried to stand up hastily but failed, her legs getting caught underneath her as Ben walked forward and pushed her back down, "don't" he whispered, "don't worry about me." she whispered, scrubbing at her cheeks with the arm of her jumper to rid her skin of the salty tears that she could still taste in her mouth. She turned and put her cheek to her knees, trying to ignore the embarrassment at Ben catching her crying and pushing away the stirring in her stomach that Ben always started whenever he was around.
"Talk to me." Ben whispered, sitting down beside her and putting his hand on her bare shoulder, her jumper slightly askew from running. She turned to face him and stared into his eyes, his hand on her skin set her body on fire, a slow wildfire that spread out from his hand and through her whole body and all the way down to the tips of her toes, he looked at her in surprise as her eyes met his - though his eyes mirrored her own feelings, they both needed each other to get through the pain of the world and he was just as scared as she was about their feelings.
"Rick said that the Skitters saved your life?" Ben whispered, putting his arm around her shoulders and drawing her to his chest. She sighed and felt her heartbeat speed up at the feeling of his own heartbeat next to her ear, this boy was turning her carefully constructed walls inside out and upside down… she didn't know what was going on with her feelings anymore, but she liked it. Then her mind jutted back to Ben's words and she knew that she couldn't tell him, she wouldn't lose him yet if she had anything to do with it.
"It's nothing." she whispered, clenching his shirt in her hand as they laid there. "Are you sure?" he whispered, she nodded and pressed herself closer to him. "I really like you Jess." he whispered softly after a few minutes of silence, Jess' heart sped up as she turned to look up at him, fire raced across her skin and bubbled in her heart because she never believed that she could ever be this happy again. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from saying anything rash, but she went and blurted it out anyways - as was her custom. "I really really like you Ben." she whispered pulling herself up so that their faces were level.
His eyes lit up like christmas as she spoke and a grin worked its way across his face as he bent down and finally pressed his soft lips against hers. She gasped at the initial contact she felt like a lightning bolt had struck her, Ben must have felt the same as they both gasped and clawed for each other, wanting to be as close as possible. She pressed harder against his lips as his hands came around to her lower back and gripped her waist, fingers splayed across her skin as he lifted her shirt slightly, the fire she had felt when he had been holding her was nothing compared to what she felt right now, she felt as if Ben was trying to pull her close enough to absorb her into his very being, there wasn't an inch of space left between them and yet she wanted to be closer.
They broke apart gasping for air and staring into each others eyes, Ben's pupils were dilated and his heartbeat pounded against her own chest as he hovered over her, she didn't feel them turn over at all and yet here they were, pressed against each other with their legs tangled together, she felt empty without his lips there and she desperately wanted them back. "Wow." he whispered, pushing a stray lock of hair away from her eyes as she lay panting for breath. She let loose a small chuckle and smiled, "I know." she whispered, reaching up to touch her own lips with shaking fingers, she felt like she had been reduced to a puddle of mush after such a kiss, and she hoped to god that there would be more.
There were footsteps on the staircase and the moment was shattered, Ben rolled off her and stood up, before turning his head and throwing her a cheeky smile, she burst out laughing and sat up straightening her clothes, they both knew there would be more for them later on. Hal came up the stairs with the other kids in tow, Matt instantly ran over to Jess and sat down next to her, "I'm sorry for what Rick said." Matt said, Jess smiled and hugged him tightly. "Even though you don't know what he meant?" she whispered, Matt smiled up at her and shook his cute curly head, "I know you and Ben had something done to you by the skitters. But I don't care." he said and hugged her again. Jess looked up at Ben and saw him smiling, to which she grinned back, his little brother was the best thing that could have happened to anyone, he was so innocent and sweet and didn't care about anything but what was on the inside, and that really was what she admired most about the Mason's, that they didn't care about what anyone looked like or their past, they looked for what the person was really like underneath and made a judgement on that.
She couldn't have picked a better family to aspire to.