I charge for her and wrap my arms tight around her. I feel like screaming.
"When? How? What," I cry squeezing my head into her chest. She only laughs.
"Well, let me see. I got here yesterday, aa...hh by walking and I was wondering what you are doing and who Tobias is?" Oh-no, I can't tell her that Four's real name is Tobias, can I? No, I shouldn't.
"He is…. one of Four's friends," I say a little too fast. I get a weird look, but she seems to drop it. Good, that is a good lie. "Have you seen him, Four, I mean?"
"No, he might be at the party."
"Of course, I should probably be there, coming?" I am about to start walking away when she grabs my arm.
"Hold on, I was hoping I would find you, I have something for you."
Tori leads me back to her tent and digs through her bag. She pulls out a dress. Only it is not any of the fraction colors. It is an orange, a soft almost sunset orange.
"Oh my god Tori, I love it!"
The dress reaches down to just past my knees and sleeves that reach to my elbows. The sleeves dangle on my arms and the neck line is a square.
I walk out of the tent with the dress on. Outside Tori now stands with Christina too.
"Tris, you look incredible," She says putting a hand over my mouth. I roll my eyes as Christina asks me to twirl.
"Come on you weirdo's," I giggle jogging off in the direction of the music.
The scene is set up perfectly. People are dancing and singing and for once in my life I feel safe, as though nothing can hurt me. Family, all these people around me is my family now. After everything me and everyone else is safe, safe from Jeannie, safe from initiation, safe from anything. What I had yet to know was if it was really true. I mean this person I saw could have just been an illusion, a pure image of my mind. It could very well just be that one person. Worry starts to take over my again and I push all thoughts out of my head. In this moment, I will live; I will not worry or care. I will be alive, for real, for the first time in my life. I will live, for real; I repeat those words in my head.
Blue and red flames burst from the fire in the middle and girls swing and laugh as they twirl on their toes. I smile from ear to ear and jump right in. Music is played through the crowd and voices rise and fall to the beat and melody.
"Here," Christina says pushing a thin stick into my hand. I look at it stupidly.
"What this for," I ask poking Tori with it.
"One word, marshmallow's!" What? She hands me a puffy white cube. I watch Tori slide hers onto the top of her stick, I am still a little confused, but I copy her. Now I am totally lost when I watch her stick it in the fire.
"What," I finally burst out. Christina and Tori look at each other and laugh.
"You roast it," Tori says. I must still look confused. "Then you eat it."
"What, do Abnegations never eat marshmallows," Christina yells, her eyes popping out of her head.
"Well, since I have no idea what this thing was or what to do with it, you should assume yes!" Christina bursts out laughing and I give her a death glare. I stick my marshmallow in the fire and sit down on a nearby log. I lose focus on my marshmallow and watch the couples dancing around me.
"Ladies," Uriah says putting one arm around me and the other around Christina. "Want a… holy crap, Tris."
"What," I scream looking up at him.
"You roast it, not burn it!" I down at the marshmallow to see it burst into a ball of fire. I immediately drop my stick in the fire and watch the whole thing catch a-flame. Red, yellow and blue flames eat up the stick and the marshmallow.
"I think I am done with roasting stuff," I laugh standing to my feet. "Anyone know where Four is?"
"No, if I see him I will tell him you are looking for him," Uriah answers, "want a beer?"
I am about to say no when the words go through my head again, I will live, for real. I promised myself I would follow that. "Sure, what the heck."
I grab the beer pop the cap open. "1, 2, 3." Uriah and I both take a giant sip. The beer is bitter and cold and stings going down my throat. A warm feeling starts spread from my stomach. A first it is repulsing, but it soon grows pleasant and enjoyable. Christina grabs my bottle and takes a sip.
"How is it," Uriah asks me. I make a bitter face and shake my head.
"Uhm, interesting," I sputter. Uriah laughs and puts an arm around me, "you will get used to it, come on, let's dance."
I laugh and tip my head forward as Uriah and I stumble onto the grassy yard that is being used as a dance floor. Uriah takes my hands in his and starts swing me back and forth. I burst into laughter at his attempt to dance. "You are so drunk," I laugh as he twirls me around and around and around.
"If you don't stop now I am going to vomit," I scream.
"Enough of this," Christina says grabbing my arm. She has a serious face and looks as though see is about to break something. Suddenly she bursts into laughter and pushes me out of the way, "it is my turn."
I roll my eyes and laugh as they both attempt to do the tango.
"I am going to go find Four," I scream over the music. I start to scan the crowd in search of his dark brown hair and rough eyes. Nothing. Once I break away from the party it hits me how cold it is, all the bodies cramped together made it warm. Now the air is cold and moist, little rains drops start to fall and glisten off my hair. The evening is just turning to night and the sky is alive with brilliant colors. My dress barely flutters in the wind as I walk back to Tobias tent.
"Beatrice," someone yells behind me. I know it is Caleb because he is the only one who calls me Beatrice any more.
"Caleb?"
"I have been looking for you everywhere, Four is looking for you." Joy fills my body.
"Where is he?"
"I don't know." Ugh. "I think he might be in his tent."
I start running off in the direction of his tent, "thanks," I scream back at Caleb. I hold my dress down as I run, making sure it does not fly up. I yell Four's name over and over. Finally I hear a response.
"Tris!"
"Four!"
I know immediately that he is not in his tent and I start to run in the direction of his voice. The rain fall starts to increase and soon enough it becomes a down pour. Water blurs my vision. I think I hear the rush of a river, but at this point I have no idea.
"Four." I scream more desperate this time. What happened? My heart is now threatening to burst out of my chest. When silence follows my yell I start to scream even louder. Nothing, not even a faint mumble. I push to increase speed. My legs are killing me and I am barely able to breathe.
"Four," I scream using every last breath I have. Suddenly the ground below me gives way and I go thumbing into the river. Water ruses over my face and my lungs clog. Gasping I dig my nails into a rock and hang on for my life. Shock goes up my spin as water rushes over my face and I am pulled back into the vacant water.