Alright, guys, new chapter here! I hope everyone's been enjoying the series. I'm still working on getting one of my chapters back, but it's been fun writing this series. I'm happy to have received some relatively colorful comments about who's as hot as who. It makes me smile. Just as a reminder, though, the people I have in this countdown are not my choices AT ALL. I looked up about fifteen polls for Bleach to tally how many votes certain characters got and calculated an average. This was done at 2 in the morning since I couldn't sleep that day and it was a Friday. I did cast one vote to each poll to see how many people voted, but I didn't include my vote in the tally average. I thought it would be unfair because half the time I didn't answer honestly anyway. Enough idle chit chat, let's move on with the new chapter. I'm sure all of you are going to like it. I know I did.

My, my, my! We have some discussing to do about the characters and actors who've invaded our private lives and forced themselves into our fantasies. Those actors and characters are the sexy icons of Shonen Jump Bleach...

O-range-ni: Yeah! Let's get it on! Whoo!

Ah, but if we got it on with every actor in the Bleach series, it would just be straight-up porn. This episode's jam-packed with some yummy treats for your early Halloween, and we here at Unrestricted Asterisk hope you don't get a sugar high.

Yellow-san: Sorry, narrator, it's a bit late for that. *puts pop rocks on his tongue and moans* Aw, so good!

And we'll be tasting something sweet in this new episode as we bring you this from Unrestricted Asterisk…

[Backstage]

"So who's next with the stripper pole? Hanatarou pulled his weight like a real man, right?" Renji asks.

"I think Renji should go next," Rukia sarcastically says.

"I'm a pussy, man. I can't hang. Hanatarou represented all the men in this room," Renji defends, scratching his chest.

"I hope you realize someone's missing from our group," Rangiku informs.

"Wait, really?" Toshiro questions, looking around the room. He didn't see anyone get up and leave before.

"Well, Toshi's not gonna know who left since he was ogling at your boobs," Nanao remarks.

"Screw you, glasses!" Toshiro defends. "I was texting Orihime. She said she'll be here in another hour."

"Did you honestly have to text her with Matsumoto-san's cellphone? If I remember correctly, you had your own cellphone," Byakuya says, secretly teasing Toshiro. "You practically dug in her brassiere to get the phone out to text."

"What normal person says 'brassiere' anymore?" Ikkaku remarks. "Don't tell me you're getting old on me, Kuya-kun."

"When'd you start calling Kuchiki-san, 'Kuya-kun'? I thought only Ichigo used that pet name for his lover…" Yumichika says.

"Actually, it kinda grew on me. I like that name now," Ikkaku says.

"See to it you never repeat that name twice in public or in front of me," Byakuya says, eyes closed as he speaks.

"How come Ikkaku and Ichigo can call you 'Kuya-kun'?" Renji pouts. "That's not fair!"

"You seem to enjoy calling me 'daddy' in your own private world, so I let you keep that pet name," Byakuya quietly jokes, crossing one leg over the other.

"We are all going to die!" Grimmjow comments, making Hanatarou laugh at him.

"Any thoughts, Kenny?" Yachiru questioned. Everyone grew quiet to listen to the man but all he did was smile eerily and chuckle a little. "Kenny wants to know why Renji calls Kuya-kun daddy when he's alone."

"I think that nickname is sticking with you, Kuchiki-san," Hanataro says, slinking in his seat.

"'Cause Kuya-kun is awesome," Lillinette compliments. "Speaking of nicknames, where's carrot top? I didn't see him leave."

"Yeah, me neither," Cirucci remarks. "Hey, smexy interviewer guy, where's Ichigo?"

"Wha - ? Uh... He went shopping," the interviewer lies.

Nemu Kurotsuchi

Is a

Sado-masocho hottie

She's mysterious, gorgeous, and down right submissive to anything. Here she is, the sexy, green-eyed Nemu Kurotsuchi...

Ichired: Oh, my god. Dude!

shi~green: Whoo, you talkin' 'bout a fine woman. Nemu is sexy anywhere you cut the bread. I want a piece of that sandwich.

GO BLUE!: Forget it, dude. Nemu is sexy for two reasons: one, she looks like an innocent, sweet girl but really she'll let you hit it. I'm sure Uryu got a piece.

Uryu: Really?

Musiq: Nemu's sexy because she wears collars and minidresses. If her daddy wasn't a crazy-ass mofo, every dude would be knockin' on her doorstep and probably gettin' some in any way you want. She looks like a freak.

Nemu: My, how mature...

Uryu: What do I find sexy about Nemu? Um, I think her gentle nature is really sweet. She's very calm and adorable when she doesn't have to fight, and she can be so lovable. When the director finished describing her character's personality, she turned to me as if I knew what to say and said 'This sucks for me 'cause I'm really shy when it comes to intimacy.'

pUrPlE rOkU: We'll fix that. She'll be sexually adventurous forever if she hangs around slobs like us.

Nemu: Interesting...

We also find it interesting that Ms. Nemu will be in an upcoming film with Sado Yasutora a.k.a. "Chad."

Chad: Yeah, I'm looking forward to working with some of the cast from Bleach again. I think I've grown so used to the family we've created now that I would feel awkward going about my...merry way with acting with other people...

Ichigo: Again, shocker he says more than a sentence.

Chad: Uryu's been quiet, too.

Ichigo: Hey, Qu-eer-cy, talk about Nemu. It's your segment.

Uryu: *chuckles* I already did. You're slow.

And we would like to take things slow with the dark-haired, lovely-figured Nemu Kurotsuchi as she pulls in with number 17...

Nemu: I'm very honored to be on the list. I've always had my attentions on photographing the men of Seireitei and posting articles about them in the Womens' Association or something else, but it's a pleasant feeling to have so many admirers of my own...

Mad Hatter

Uraharu

The sexy Kisuke

Coming in at number 16 is a man who shouldn't exist as a virgin…

victoriarogue: *gasps* I love Urahara. He's so funny! He seems like a guy I'd want to party with and have fun.

hachi MARIGOLD: I don't think Urahara is a virgin because there are too many women in his pimp jar for him to be single as it is.

Yoruichi: It's buddy! He's a hottie, huh? Good job.

Modell: Urahara is the bomb!

Urahara: Better to be a bomb than to have seen one.

Ton: Oh my god, that's so true! *laughs* I like Urahara because he's a bitchin' captain, he's the kind of guy you'd want to have kids with, he's great with kids too, and he knows some pretty hot women.

Ichired: Oh, dude, Urahara knows Yoruichi, quite possibly one of the hottest women ever.

Yoruichi: HA! Take that Angelina Jolie.

hachi MARIGOLD: He knows Kukaku, we just talked about her.

Kukaku: I think Urahara's got some sexy hands. I'd put those to use. *smirks*

Urahara: Well, I think I got me a job this weekend. Can't say I'm broke no more, now can I?

Ichigo: He knows Rukia, too, but I think Urahara is...sexy because he has an awesome sense of humor and is very animal-like. His raw charm is what pulls people in.

Urahara: Uh-oh, I think I stole Kuchiki-san's spot.

Chad: I think Urahara's sexy for his great social skills and strength. He's not a weak man, and he has a bit of a boytoy charm.

victoriarogue: He is the type of guy I would love to duct tape to the bed and slap around a bit, but I feel like if you tried to do something crazy...and inappropriate he'll flip the whole situation around and be like 'BAM! I'm feelin' kinda horny. Come here, girl!' Next thing you know, Ururu's wonderin' why there's white stuff everywhere.

Urahara: *laughs* That does sound like me.

We'd love to hear more sounds that you'd make Mr. Hat and Clogs as end this episode as number 16 on our countdown…

Urahara: Thank you for this flattering award. I'm surprised in a good way about this. I beat Aizen. Do you know how hard that is?

Okay, I know it was kind of short, but I'll do better I promise. There's still plenty of hotties to come though. Maybe your favorite character will end up in one of the longer chapters. The two-character chapters are usually the shortest.