Hey guys, I am back once again. I have a few things to say, one is that school is starting soon, so updates might have longer time periods in between. Sorry for people who were having trouble with chapter four, to be honest I have no clue what caused it, and I hope it is good now at least. I wanted to point out that I had trouble writing this chapter. This chapter is supposed to have strong emotion in it, and I am not pleased with the outcome. Please, review and tell me what you thought of it, because maybe I did better then I thought. So review, I will see you in the next chapter. ;)

Now please, enjoy. ~JoyfulTrouble

These days were my least favorite days of the month. A few days before, and during the full moon, everything is out of whack. I get over emotional, grumpier, hungrier, more skittish, and my senses would drive me nuts! I would be able to hear and smell what seemed like everything! Food from the kitchens, overflowing teenage hormones, I could even smell people's emotions: fear, sadness, stress, et cetera. It felt like my mind was going to burst. I hated it, I still hate it, and I hate how noticeable it is. Luckily though, most people just think I was on my period.

Today was the worst of the days: the actual Full moon. It always felt like more and more tension would build up inside my body, everything, from emotions to senses, would clutter together, until at night it would explode and let lose (literally) a raging animal. And sadly it was only morning, I still had all day to deal with this.

First period was Potions. Snape always bothered everybody, today it was just amplified. His yelling wouldn't stop, and I thought I would soon go death by its intensity. He would basically scream at everyone for any little thing he could find wrong, and I tried my best not to cringe and cover my ears. The worst part about that class was the fact that I was more skittish, therefore I accidentally dropped an extra piece of… I don't even remember, into the potion. All I remember is my ears being ripped to shreds by Snape's loud and annoying voice.

Second period was Herbology. This day kept getting worse and worse. Now I had to deal with the horrible stench that came with the plants. One would think my wolf would enjoy such smells, with the dirt and greens having a semblance to the forest. But since we were studying exotic plants, neither of us enjoyed ourselves. I was constantly holding my breath for as long as I could, in any attempt to just not smell. Some of the plants shot gases if they were provoked, and I swear the gas smelt like death itself. It was only when I got out of the greenhouse I took a dramatic gasp for air. Who could blame me? I was able to finally breathe again.

Then it was lunch. I had to stop myself from stuffing my face full of meats. The smell of it, the taste, was so overwhelming. In the hallway, I practically drooled smelling all the food. My stomach wouldn't stop growling, even after I had eaten a full plate of meat (hamburgers, chicken wings and bacon). I told myself I wouldn't gorge, but temptation was too much, and in the end I had another plate full. This was the only day I couldn't have my salad. I couldn't even think about salad, just the thought would make me sick.

By the end of the day, just after another gorge fest called diner, I was ready to break. I was in horrible shape. Every sense was in overdrive that I couldn't even think straight. My vision was going out of whack to the point I felt like I was drunk. I was sweating, my hands were shaking, skin itchy. It was all too much to take. This was the worst part. The part that came after this, the agonizing pain, in a way was worse. But in a morbid way, at least I knew that after the pain, it would all stop. This tension, the drunken haze I seemed to constantly be in, felt like it would never end, and it was horrible.

I got up to the common room, stopped by several people to ask if I was alright, a few with mock interest, and grabbed my bag. Oh how I just wanted to slump into bed and sleep the problems away. Even though I probably wouldn't be able to sleep… and would go on a mass murdering streak.

Damn.

Using my last boost of energy, I went down the many stairs, and headed to the Shrieking Shack. I would say walked, but it was more like dragged my fatigued body through Hogsmead to the Shack. Once inside, I dropped the bag, took a big, deep breath, and began to do my routine.

I locked the doors with the charm. I then went back to my bag, taking out the steak I managed to grab from diner, and put it in the middle of the room. I put the bag, along with the clothes I was wearing, into the top drawer of the dresser, as always. I then finished the routine with a silencing charm. Satisfied, I stood, away from the windows, and waited, almost desperately for this night to be done and over with.

One of the many things I hate about the transformation, was that it didn't sag way into the pain. It was instant and full force, not giving you time to prepare. This time was no different.

I believe I stood there for ten minutes, dealing with my agitated state, when it started. I gasped as the pain struck me everywhere all at once. Every bone in my body broke seemingly at once. My skin, felt like it was on fire, burning hot and melting. My teeth ached, my gums bleed, as they were forced to grow in rapid speed. My body felt like it was too small, holding both me and the wolf. It was a battle, and in the end, the wolf would win, it would take over my body, take control, and do what it pleased.

It always did.

I fell to my knees, as the pain changed. My mouth wide open in a silent scream. My bones were snapping into place, in a new form that would soon be the wolf. My skin was ripping, allowing the wolf's fur to be shown; to be free. My face, now contorting into the shape of the wolf: nose elongating, ears growing pointed, teeth sharpening. My vision grew more vivid, and my hearing enhanced. My fingers shortened, and my nails grew into claws. The last thing that happened, before the pain stopped, was my spine elongating, making room for a tail. Then the pain stopped, and the wolf slumped to the floor.

What surprised me though, was I was still conscious. Not the wolf, but actually me. I couldn't control what the wolf was doing, but I could see, hear, and feel everything the wolf did. This never happened before. It would always be the pain, then a blackout, which then I would wake up somewhere in the shack, the night long gone.

But this was extremely different. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? I couldn't concentrate anymore as the wolf's thoughts and senses flooded mine. The wolf could here many animals scurrying outside, going about their life. It could smell the wildlife, the grass, the trees, and the breeze off the water. But more strongly, the wolf could smell the steak.

The wolf got up on it's four legs, and whimpered. It whimpered! I was the one who dealt with the pain, there was no reason for it to be whimpering. But I knew that wasn't true. Something was wrong, I could feel it, but I wasn't sure what it was, all I knew was it was what caused the whimper.

Moving, the wolf walked over to the window, and I was shocked. Wouldn't a wolf go to basic instincts and ravish the steak? What was more important than food to this creature? I know the creature is a part of me as well, but to be honest, I want the steak. The wolf nudged past the curtains that are draped over the window, to get a good view of outside. Again, the wolf whimpered, as it looked out. The view, was of the castle, off into the distance. What I was looking at, was the slight reflection of the wolf I the window. Its eyes are large, glowing a bright yellow. Its fur was thick, the same colour as my hair: mixes of light and dark browns. Though the wolf is a vicious creature, it was beautiful. Is beautiful.

Suddenly, a feeling grew deep in the gut of the wolf. It grew and grew stronger, and then rose upward towards it's throat, farther and farther up. Like the pressure of water against a dam. Then the dam broke, and the wolf released a howl so emotional, that if I had control over the body, I wouldn't have a doubt I would be crying right now. Balling my eyes out; body shacking sobs. The howl, that one, single howl, was the saddest thing I ever herd. It lasted as long as the wolf could make it, causing it to waver at the end. It made all the feelings the wolf felt earlier clear as day. The howl was full of longing, of need, of pain. It was a desperate plea. This house was cage, holding it from what it needed.

It felt like a piece of the wolf, of its heart, of its soul, was missing. Like all its life, it was incomplete, and there, somewhere, the final piece of the puzzle was just out of reach, being dangle in its face mockingly.

And what did it need? What did it want? What was it so desperate for? That was so clear now, so simple.

It was lonely. It needed, wanted, to the point of pain. To the point of pure agony,

Its mate.

The realization hit, and then everything went black.

I woke up, curled in the corner closest to the window. I got up slowly, wincing a few times in the process. Always in the morning after the full moon, everything would ache. It was the feeling when one stays in the same position for too long, and when they finally move, it's like pins and needles. Only now, the pins and needle feeling is in all my limbs. I stammered over to the dresser, where I always put my clothes. Leaning over it, trying to get my bearings, I looked up to the cracked mirror just above it. I always looked horrible after, and I never needed to look at the mirror to know that. But it was something I always felt the need to do, to look at my human face once again, to recognize that I was human. When I looked, there were tears stains littered on my face. I must have been crying when I was asleep, but why?

I pulled open the top drawer, grabbing my bag containing my clothes. I put it down on the floor, and plopped down beside it. Pulling on my undergarments, a sweater, and jeans. I closed up my bag and went to get up. Only I didn't

I managed to get up to my knees before I fell back down. Vivid memories were shooting in a rapid rate through my brain. The wolf sulking, whimpering. It passing the steak and going to the window. It looking with such need out at the castle. And then finally, the howl so full of pain, so emotional, that it could have brought anyone to tears.

The wolf was lonely. That was that, and there was no denying it. What saddened me more, was I had no clue how to help it; how to help both of us.

I got up, grabbed my bag, and headed to the castle, where I would clean up and get ready for classes that day. The last thing I noticed, before I left the shack, was the untouched steak still sitting in the middle of the room.

It was Wednesday, three days after the full moon, and I was heading to my Ancient Runes class. Ron and Harry weren't with me because they had Divinations on the other side of the school. I didn't mind, I am just surprised that they are still in that course. I mean, who can stand listening to nonsense in a fogged up, heated, dusty room? I would never understand it.

After the full moon, I would be in what I called 'Post-Transformation' faze. Never getting enough sleep (not for lack of trying), lack of ambition, loss of focus in all of my classes, little if not no form of communication towards anyone, the list kept going. Luckily it only lasted a few days, which, like today for example, I was feeling much better.

I was almost to my class, only a turn away. After talking to Ron and Harry after Charms, we ended up running bit late. I thought I would talk to them since I have been ignoring them, for reasons of 'Post-Transformation'. So I was rushing. In a jog, I quickly made a right turn down the hallway, and before I knew it, I was one the ground, books everywhere.

"Merde." A voice in front of me exclaimed, I looked up, and there, frantically grabbing books, was Fleur.

"Hey." I said, and her head whipped with inhuman speed upwards and locked gazes with me.

We sat there for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes, trying to read the others emotions. Then Fleur seemed to snap out of the haze, cursing again in French, and went back to picking up her books.

"I am very zorry, 'Ermoine, but I got to go, I am late!" Fleur said, grabbing her last book and running in the direction she was heading. I watched her go until she was out of site. I looked down to my own books, and noticed one that wasn't mine. It was a forest green, medium sized, and extremely thick. I picked it up, and automatically yelled to Fleur that she missed a book. Only realizing a moment later that she was already gone.

Putting my books back in my bag, I got up and started walking to class, Fleur's book still in hand. Flipping the book over, I noticed the cover and was instantly interested. This could be useful. On the cover, in large, gold lettering was:

The Complete and Classified Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures.