Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Inuyasha or any of the other characters that may be used throughout the duration of the fan-fiction. Be advised this is a world created for the sole purpose of entertainment and would expect you to respect my work of fantasy as you would have me respect yours. This is rated mature for further chapters that may be controversial in subject matter. Please do not report me as you have been warned.
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Your Lady Fractured Moonlight
Summary: Sesshomaru has lived centuries without the one thing he desires the most only to have her return with no memory of him or the life they had known. Can he accept her as he had once or will everything be lost to time once more? Will she love the beast within the man as she once had in a time lost to her? Will they learn to love or will their love vanish as though it had never been? Read and discover the untold story between Sesshomaru and Kagome and you might discover a love that can span the centuries!
-oOo-
Moonlight's Embrace
Chapter 17
The day had dawned with little significance as the group packed what remained of the tiny encampment with him offering to carry the heavy pack that Kagome had insisted was her burden and not his. The mini argument was settled with a solid glare from him to her, and now he knew why she had been so set against it. The thing was bloody heavy, not so much for someone with his skill but it quickly became more than just you're average annoyance.
Kage sighed heavily, watching the young kit bound across the camp towards her mistress, wasting little to no time in occupying her shoulder. She smiled at this openly, well as much as a wolf could smile that is.
'Children do adore her' the ookami reasoned when her attention was drawn towards the two humans who were currently arguing about the timing of their journey. The taijiya had been scoring well against the monk. She knew about mating season, that much was certain from her actions alone but as for the monk, she wasn't sure he would live to see the next moon if his fingers were to continue towards their intended destination. What was it with men and the need to fondle their loves rears? She doubted she would ever understand that particular fetish.
She caught on, more or less to his intentions, spinning away from him with a preverbal cloud of smoke that could be seen for miles following her every move. Shaking her head softly she turned away from such unwanted sights, however unintentionally running into something hard. When she looked up she stared into the concerned eyes of none other than Inuyasha.
'I'm sorry' she apologised hastily when his concern suddenly vanished leaving something resembling anger to take its place, but the anger part didn't make sense.
"Hey don't be, sorry….I mean." He blushed lightly as he stumbled over his words, leaving her to wonder why? Unless he was trying to tell her that she couldn't have known he was standing there. That had to be it, so at the deadly risk of mistaking it for something else she chose to believe him. Though she wasn't sure what that something else might have been so she just shrugged it off as being nothing as her steps followed after the others.
It was high noon with the unforgiving sun on their backs before they stopped for lunch. For most in the group the break was too long from the starting point of their journey and way to short to be of much use to any of them but still needed none-the-less. Slumping to the ground Kagome tried to catch her breath without much luck when Sesshomaru handed her the water bottle leaving her words further behind her.
"I'm not a fool Kagome, this canteen may be foreign to me but I know its use and you require it."
"T-thanks," she stumbled as she accepted, gulping about half of the freshly filled bottle from the morning down her throat careful to save some for another time. She couldn't help but stare at him out of the corner of her eye. What had happened between them last night had created a type of distance between them and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. At least he hadn't reverted to being Mr. Ultra Resistant and Nothing Can Touch Me. At least that hadn't happened, but it still felt weird not feeling so close to him at the moment.
Setting down the water bottle she moved to rummage through her bag, the same bag that now occupied the space between the two of them, trying to find some beef jerky. She was sure she saved some, somewhere in the bags many secret compartments. It sure wasn't one of her favourite things in the world but neither was fish at the moment so given the choice between the two she chose the jerky.
Feeling victorious at having had concurred her bag she sat back, hell bent on enjoying the salty snack when she felt his eyes on her. Opening her previously closed eyes she glared at him, noticing with slight unease that he was watching her lips intensely. Not sure she could take another second of it she handed him a piece. Watching as his eyes followed the movement of her hand before turning them back towards her looking at her curiously.
"Don't you want to try some?" she offered wanting to laugh as his fingers gently, and with great hesitation, took hold of the weird looking dried piece of meat but not before his skin had grazed hers. It wasn't like their bodies hadn't connected before, heck they had shared intimate moments, like his lips against hers or hers against his but this contact was different in a way she couldn't explain. It sent a small electrical spark through her, similar to the ones you get when you jostle about an electrical outlet the wrong way. But this left something inside of her. Something that called to a part of her she didn't have.
"What is this?" he asked sceptically dangling the thin unruly beef strip between his clawed thumb and forefinger. Similar to the way a child would hold something they found distasteful but to see it from him made it laughable.
"Beef jerky." Her simple two word answer didn't help in describing the product that he held so he raised an eyebrow as he brought it to his mouth. It wasn't like the meat they had here; it was salty textured but good none the less. He nodded his approval before taking another piece while the others in their group enjoyed their fish.
"So do you like it?" she asked with bated breath watching his expressions keenly.
"It is not bad." came his smooth answer when he turned his attention back to her. He watched her smile fade as a look of pain took its place. "What is it?"
"It's nothing." She answered quickly looking away from him When he growled at her words she realised that he knew her better than she had thought. "It's just-I can't stop thinking about what Kaminari said."
"Neither can I." he sighed looking off into the distance. "Her words were spoken with a truth that I cannot deny."
"You mean about not everyone working with my father of their own free will?" she asked taking some enjoyment from the fact that the awkwardness from the previous night had allowed for ample taking today.
"Yes," he nodded, his eyes flicking over her once more, his eyes taking on a more a serious tone then before. "But do not think you can fool me into believing that you are not worried about Hana and Ayumu." The harshness in his voice faded slightly as he spoke again. "You always worry, and if it is enough to worry you then it is enough to worry me." He wanted to laugh when her expression became one of total shock. So he still had the power to surprise her did he?
"You know sometimes," she grumbled in annoyance. "I think that you can read my mind."
"Not your mind, but I read you." He said ignoring the fact that eyes seemed to find them at an increasing rate, no matter how innocent the situation may have been.
Sango couldn't help but steal glances at them every now and again. It really was something to see them like that, so close and yet so far. She understood why the need for closeness but also the need for distance and she respected Sesshomaru the more for it. She just wondered if they would make it to their destination this close to the very season where yokai were most vulnerable. It didn't help however that Inuyasha might also be affected, though due to his heritage she wasn't so sure about that one.
She knew that Sesshomaru would need to explain such things to Kagome before the season began but whether or not he would get the chance before they arrived in Miwako was another story. Sighing she turned back to chewing lazily on her fish before she noticed that everyone was packing up to get moving again. When did that happen? One minute they were eating and the next they were leaving.
"Oh" she grumbled running about to gather her things so as not to be left behind looking like an idiot while doing it.
The next few hours seemed to drag on as the sun began to fade from the sky and night began to take its place. Fatigue had long since settled into their bones with Sesshomaru setting the pace…..the humans who could barley keep up with Inuyasha now lagged behind at a grater distance. He didn't seem to mind the gap or he didn't notice either way they were all getting a work out and the two mortals were feeling the brunt of it.
"Ah S-sesshomaru?" Kagome tested suddenly realising how far behind the rest of them were.
"Hm."
"Don't you think we should set up camp for the night," she stated watching him turn to meet her questioning gaze. "Cause I highly doubt Miroku and Sango will last into tomorrow if we keep going at this rate." She said gesturing in her friends direction with her index finger.
"Very well." He huffed, somewhat irritated that the ground in which he had hopped to gain was somewhat lacking. He let her bag slip from his shoulders grateful to be free of that bothersome task all while thankful that the humans had not escaped Kagome's attentions as easily as they had his. Not that he liked admitting it but he had never spent that much time in their company so therefore he couldn't get an accurate reading into their basic functioning's.
Looking towards the sky he was reminded that only four days remained until they reached the gates of Miwako and only three until the lady Mikazuki would sense him. He only wished he could've prepared her, given her some indication as to their arrival. As he looked back at them he watched Kagome's fingers linger on her abdomen not noticing the look of longing that graced her features as she looked at him. He didn't like to admit it but since she had kissed him that night in his chambers she had been doing so with increasing frequency. Her body remembered what had been while her memories pertaining to the events remained non-existant at present.
That look of loss was something that he couldn't take. He needed to leave, to escape her and this place. Sesshomaru knew he had left conflicting feelings within the confines of Kagome's heart as he turned away suddenly and without reason to her eyes. It pained him to know that he was responsible for the look that crossed her features now, just like he was responsible for the pain within her past, the pain that she herself did not recall in full, not yet anyway. And when she did remember his greatest failure, before the well and the void of time, would she hate him for it?
It was because of this knowledge that he found himself on this path, heading deeper into the surrounding woods, desperate to escape a past that only he could remember, a past where he had hurt her worse than her father ever had. He wanted to escape it despite knowing that he could never out run it, knowing that it would find him in the emptiness of the woods.
His feet moved as his will to escape this place escalated to a new level. Reaching for the stars he knew he could never reach. He felt her anguish as he had then, in that time, as if it had been his own. It wrapped around him, thwarting his ability to breathe. Crushing the air from his lungs he was forced to land and feel the anger he held for himself. It would've been far too easy to pin the blame for Kagome's current state on Katsurou, but the blame was his. He had been the one to separate her halves. He had been the one to kill her memory. He had been the one to send her down the well, just as he had been the one to kill the child that had been conceived during her first heat.
"DAMNIT!!!" he growled viciously pounding the earth at his feet with both fists.
He might not have been the one to touch her, he might not have landed the killing blow but he had been the one to leave her safety up to someone else. If only for a moment he had been the one who had trusted in someone to protect her, and it was because of this that his hate solidified. Here in this place, his tears for the past he could not change fell down his cheeks in an unstoppable river. He had been running for so long that now that the season was once again approaching he was forced to face the memories he himself had tried to burry.
He remembered too much of their life together and every time she kissed him, the past and the baby that had been was all he could remember. Even now as he allowed himself the freedom to feel he saw her, bathing in the spring near the castle grounds as if it had been yesterday. He remembered the look of peace that had crossed her facial features and the brilliant smile that adorned her lips, but what he remembered most was the water trickled down her form when she turned to face him exposing her swollen abdomen, the only sign of the life that had existed within her.
He hadn't sensed her, hadn't felt her powers crash against his so when she reached for him, taking his trembling hands in hers all he could do was stare at her with his tear glossed eyes. He didn't know if he could take her looking at him with that look of pity for a moment longer when something flashed behind her murky depths. A look he had seen before, the look he had learned to associate with her gaining memory.
"Sesshomaru," she spoke softly, the lyrical quality he had so often dreamed of hearing entered her voice once more as she spoke to him now. "You should not place such a burden upon you're shoulders." Her words blended into the voice full of memory that he remembered from once upon a time. He wanted to run from her, from her words, to run from the ghostly but all too real figure that was his mate but he couldn't. All his energy was focused on fighting the torrent of hate and the flurry of emotion that kept building inside of him, threatening to break him with each breath.
"Sesshomaru," she spike softly, her delicate fingers taking hold of his chin forcing his tear stained face his way, watching as more silent tears fell.
He realised as he looked at her then that she was, in so many ways the Kagome he remembered. He didn't know what had possessed him to do so, maybe it was the pain he felt reflected in her eyes either way his lips had found hers. Leaving her breathless as he tried to convey to her what his words could not.
"I love you, Kagome. I always have." He breathed harshly kissing her again.
Authour's Note: Okay first off, sorry for the long wait but this chapter hasn't been as easy to write as the rest have been for. It's been a struggle and very uncooperative. And I am very aware that Sesshomaru is crying in this chapter, mind you they are not sobs like Kagome's no these are silent and am prepaired to take the heat for this artistic choice. But you have to understand that Sesshomaru hates himself for being the cause of Kagome's memory loss, for the loss of their child, and her being in constant danger amung others that will be reavealed. He hates himself with a passion because of these things and can't understand why Kagome doesn't. So the kiss at the end was for me an appology of sorts. Anyway I'm very thankful for my fans and am always eger to please, just as I am thank-ful that this story keeps on flourishing with constant ideas.......oh and for those of you who keep waiting for the more intimate nature of this story it's coming, don't worry!
As always tell me whay you're thinking,
Your Lady Fractured Moonlight