Chapter 11

After the transformation, Leo decided to continue staying with Kaki while adjusting to his new human body. The days; thankfully, passed by quickly. However, Leo still felt uncomfortable.

The most frustrating thing of all was training. The first thing he had asked Kaki was where his katanas were. Luckily, she told him that she had kept them and soon gave them back to him.

He figured that everything would be fine once his swords were back in hand. But even holding them felt awkward with his five thin fingers. And while practicing katas he often misjudged distance, since he had grown taller. His arms and legs were still strong and muscular, but lanky at the same time. He had lost a lot of weight with no shell on his back and that caused issues with balance.

But he trained consistently until he became comfortable with his weapons once again. Kaki asked whether he used to be a samurai or not. He didn't want to tell her he was a ninja, considering their bad reputation so he answered, "I guess you could say I was a ronin of sorts."

Besides training, Leo helped Kaki with house hold chores and farming. She said that villagers often gave her food and offerings, but that she still needed her own resources. She had many different animals and plants for food and medicine. Leo wondered how she'd managed all on her own.

Once while going to a well for water, Leo had dared to look at his reflection.

It was like looking at the face of a stranger.

The reflection had pale-turned-tan skin from working outside. It had a narrow face and piercing grey eyes which were almost hidden behind strands of long dark-brown hair.

Leo looked away and walked back to the house, haunted by the image. In his mind, he was still the same. The guilt and anger was still there eating away at him. And his new appearances didn't allow him to escape it: It only made it worse.

One night, after working in the fields Kaki called him in for supper. Kneeling down and folding his kimono beneath him, Leo joined her in the prayer before meals. Then after picking up his rice bowl, he proceeded in carefully using a pair of chopsticks to eat the tiny grains. He had to admit that it was easier to use chopsticks with five fingers instead of three.

Kaki was silently pouring a cup of tea before she also began eating. The silence hung strangely in the air, so she quickly broke the ice. "Do you have family or home that you wish to return to, Leonardo-kun?" Her voice was not pressing, but the question made him uncomfortable either way.

"Yes. I do." he replied flatly, wanting to close the subject before it began. But Kaki didn't catch on and kept going, "Do have any siblings?" Leo's brows knotted together in growing frustration, "I have four brothers." Kaki's eyes widened in amazement, "Four brothers? What a large family! Your parents must have their hands full!" Leo flinched at the statement and Kaki noticed. She placed down her food and looked at him apologetically, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was intruding. Please forgive me."

Leo closed his eyes and sighed, he didn't need to shut her out like this. She was just being friendly and he was acting completely indifferent. There was no danger in telling her a little more about himself. After all she was letting him, a complete stranger who used to be a mutant turtle, live with her. Of course she deserved to know some background information.

"Don't worry, its fine. I just…haven't seen my family in a long time. And it's kind of hard to talk about them." He said quietly, "We never had a mother around, so it was just our father raising us growing up. I'm the oldest of my brothers, so it was my duty to help my father and protect them. It was never easy, but…I was happy. Until…"

He stopped, unable to share the failure that had cost them so much. Kaki mistook his pain for being 'bitten' and turning into a 'bakemono'.

"I have witnessed the loss of many lives at the hands of the curse. But I have also helped many find their way back to humanity and their families. Sometimes, the curse is rooted so deep that even if you were to heal their bodies, their minds would still be lost. It is a sad fate, but one not even I can change. I simply do what I can. The curse may still exist, but I am fighting against it one person at a time. And that is better than nothing."

She stared off, her eyes tearing up. But she quickly blinked them away and sipped her tea. She set it back down again and stared at Leonardo determinedly, "If I can, I will help you find your family, Leonardo-kun."

Leo was taken aback by her sincerity, and hope dared to spark inside him. But doubt rose like a winter gale and buffeted the tiny flame; extinguishing it. "Thank you, Kaki-san. I appreciate all you've done for me, but I can manage on my own from here on. I wouldn't want to abuse your hospitality any longer. Tomorrow, I'll leave at dawn."

Then he stood up and thanked her for the meal. As he was about to leave the room, Kaki spoke out softly and Leo tried to ignore the concern that sounded in her voice, "Has…someone caused you this pain, Leonardo? Are you really giving them the benefit of the doubt? You've been healed physically, but your mind is still locked away in the darkness. I do not know what caused this, but you should let it-"

"Exactly!" Leo harshly interrupted, "You DON'T know, so don't interfere with my problems. You have no idea what's happened, so don't you dare tell me to let it go!"

By the time it had slipped out, his voice had risen to shouting point. Leo took a step back and the turned around leaving the room as he muttered, "Sorry."

And Kaki was left alone with only the shadows accompanying her as she slowly rose and walked outside.

…..

That morning, Leo got up and packed his belongings, which accumulated of his swords, face mask, and the kimono on his back. Holding the soft blue fabric in his hands, Leo stopped himself from putting it on his face. Kaki had asked him why he wore a mask, so ever since he had refrained from putting it on. If he was going into the village, he wanted to look as normal as possible; not conspicuous.

Truthfully, he hadn't slept much last night. The conversation between him and Kaki had bothered him and only made the nightmares worse. He felt guilty, but wanted to leave before she woke up. It was best for both of them that way he convinced himself.

But his conscience gnawed at him, making him hesitate at the silk-screen door. Finally, he decided to just write a letter apologizing for his leaving and thanking her for her kindness.

Finding a bamboo scroll, he quickly blacked his brush on an ink stone and jotted down his apology and thanks. He then rolled it up and silently walked into her room to lay it beside her.

Her futon was empty though. The sun hadn't even fully risen yet, so he knew the unlikely hood of her being up at this hour. When he had woken up earlier, he was greeted by silence. There was not a sound in the house nor outside, except for maybe the animals' usual racket. So if she wasn't inside or outside, where was she?

Leaving the scroll inside, Leo slipped on sandals and wandered outside. He scanning around for a sign of her but didn't see anything. Starting to walk further into one of her fields, Leo continued looking until he saw it. His breath caught in his chest and he froze.

In a shallow ditch, lay a body covered in blood. It was Kaki's body.

Her colorful kimono was now ripped and strewn with dirt and blood. Her body lay at an odd, broken angle. Her green eyes were wide open in terror, but her lips were closed. Meaning she never had the time to scream. Her throat had been ripped open, meaning she could never have anyway.

Leo fell numbly to his knees. The attack flashed through his mind vividly, like a TV screen playing a horror film too close to his face. The wolf-like creatures, demons, attacking her when she left the house and tried to enter the forest. She didn't even know they were there until it was too late. Blood spurted from her neck as teeth sank in and she fell to the ground, dead before she even hit it. Then they dug a ditch and threw her in it like crow food.

He balled his fists, knuckles growing white. Why hadn't he heard the noise, the howling, and the closing of the screen door that night? She had died just feet away from the house where he was sleeping. She had died right after he had yelled at her. She had died…trying to help him.

Tears fell down his face and his banged his fists repeatedly into the ground, showering dirt around him. He had let his emotions get the better of him and it resulted in the death of an innocent life. He had failed again. And death was the worst failure because there was no absolution. There was no restoring a lost life.

Shakingly getting up, Leo closed Kaki's eyes, took her into his hands, and lifted her from the ditch. There was only one thing he could give her now. Finding a farm tool, he dug a grave for her and gently placed her in it. The wind picked up as he shoveled the dirt over her body.

Once it was done, he found a stone to serve as a marker and placed it on the grave. Then he just stood there. He wanted to say a few words of prayer, but his mind was empty. No consolation would come.

TBC…

[Japanese Notes: Ronin- a samurai who has lost his master and wanders adrift, Kimono- traditional garment or tunic, Bakemono- monster, Ink Stone- container of ink]