The return trip to DarkClan was a disheartening one, and a cloud seemed to hang over the three cats as they returned to the dying forest they called their home. Now what would they do? Lostheart felt a new wave of doubt come over her, OceanClan wouldn't help them through this. They were alone. Not even StarClan had contacted them...but why? When did StarClan become so silent, why weren't their ancestors guiding them?
It was unusual that Thistleprick had remained so quiet during their little trip, and even now Lostheart found herself watching the tom from the corner of her eye. Browneyes let out a breath he had been holding since they first set paw in OceanClan territory. "Now we're gonna have to tell everyone..." he muttered dully.
"Yeah." Thistleprick replied, all the usual enthusiasm and spirit in his voice was gone.
That was about the extent of their conversation as they passed through the woods and around the Dead Oak, making their way to the camp. 'We have to come up with a new plan.' Lostheart mused...But what could they do? As Lostheart walked on under the spots of light shining through the dark canopy of the trees, a certain thought came to mind. Silentshadow had always told her there were many other cats in the world, and that it extended far beyond the valley they lived their lives in. She had left once to find help, but maybe this time...they should leave for good.
Browneyes must've mistaken the concentrated look on her face for fear because the tom quickly shot her an awkward smile. "It'll all be okay in the end." Lostheart looked at the tom and blinked briefly before nodding silently and turning her head back forward.
The dark passage leading into camp stood before them, the thorns they had enforced the camp with remained in place, encircling their home completely. Absentmindedly, Lostheart wondered if it would really do any good.
Not long after they padded through the tree tunnel and set foot in camp, Mintpaw came rushing towards the group with a wide smile on her face. She scrambled to a stop, panting heavily before looking up at the three warriors now watching her with a questioning gaze.
"Moonfur had her kits!" Mintpaw exclaimed. "There's five!" Browneyes and Thistleprick both immediately brightened up with wide, excited grins.
"Really?" Browneyes meowed.
Mintpaw nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! You can go see them now if you want. I think Darkpelt already has."
Browneyes nodded with a slight chuckle, of course his brother would want to see the 'new recruits'. Thistleprick blinked, smile still in place. "Where's Raggedear?"
Mintpaw shrugged. "I haven't seen him, but make sure you both stop by to see the kits!" With her final words, Mintpaw scampered off toward the medicine cat den where Roseclaw was just now stepping out.
Before Lostheart could say anything, both Browneyes and Thistleprick each padded off to accomplish their own tasks, leaving Lostheart by herself. Lostheart turned toward the nursery, watching it from a distance. Kits were good news.
However, her paws remained in place. 'Is it really good news?' Lostheart wondered. They could barely care enough for their clan as it was, and with the threat of Willowstar, they were already in danger.
"Lostheart, you're back; I'm assuming Mintpaw already told you the news?"
Lostheart turned to see Greysight padding toward her and nodded in greeting despite the fact that the she-cat couldn't see her. "Yes, but I'm assuming you haven't heard ours. OceanClan refused." Lostheart meowed. "Brisingstar refuses to become involved."
Greysight scoffed. "I'm not surprised...Let's try not to think about that sort of stuff right now." she meowed with a smile. "Why are you standing out here? Aren't you going to see the kits?"
Lostheart shifted quietly, beginning to feel uncomfortable. "I don't think so, I'm not good with kits. I've never really liked them much anyway."
Greysight gave Lostheart a kind of half smile and padded over to the she-cat, using her head to push her forward. "Come on," she meowed, "I know Moonfur wants you to see them."
Lostheart was taken aback by the sudden motion, but conceded after a few nudges. "Fine, I'll go." Her eyes turned toward the vine structure sitting only a couple fox lengths away from her and she warily began padding forward. The sound of kits mewling could be heard from inside, along with the sound of Moonfur's hushed tones as she tried to quiet them down. In truth, a part of her did want to see the kits, but...
Lostheart came to the entrance and paused briefly. How long had it been since she had come into this portion of camp... The black she-cat avoided it for a reason, and even now it was hard to will her paws forward and inside the nursery.
Lostheart took a step inside and instantly froze. It was...exactly as she had remembered it. It was almost as if nothing had ever happened. Turning to look toward her right, Lostheart saw the small alcove under the base of the tree, it's roots covering the hole, making it hidden to the naked eye.
That was where her mother had hidden her the day the fox attacked... Blinking slightly out of her daze, Lostheart's eyes drifted toward the back of the nursery where she saw the small alcove in the vines where she spent most of her kithood. With tired, dull eyes, Lostheart looked down at the ground beneath her paws that was now covered in leaves. Her mother had died here...
Instantly the memories of violence and blood came crashing into her mind causing her to clench her eyes shut tightly. No, she had tried so hard to suppress them, why did she have to start thinking about it now?
But she knew the answer. She was standing in the place it had happened, not once had she ever been in this place since she was a kit, she avoided it...for obvious reasons.
"Lostheart, you're here!"
Lostheart snapped back into reality and turned to see Moonfur lying in a freshly made nest to the left of the den. From where she stood, Lostheart could see five small shapes nestled against her belly. Moonfur smiled lightly as Lostheart walked over and looked down at the kits.
"They're...great." Lostheart meowed, unsure of what to say. Moonfur didn't seem to mind and leaned down to gently lick one of the kits.
"I wanted to thank you." Moonfur smiled genuinely at Lostheart. "If it wasn't for you...thank you. I still don't know what kind of mother I'll be, but I'm going to try. For my kits, and for Ice." It became quiet as Lostheart watched the kits and Moonfur, in turn, watched her.
"Two she-cats and three toms." Moonfur meowed, catching Lostheart's attention once more. "There's Warkit, Branchkit, and Wetkit." Moonfur meowed nudging a small black tom with gray splotches who was curled up next to a brown kit, and another white kit with brown spots. "And the she-cats are Goldenkit and Amberkit."
Lostheart nodded, examining the kits. "And they're all healthy?" she questioned.
Moonfur nodded happily, but Lostheart could see how tired the she-cat was. "Yes, Roseclaw already took care of everything. They're all fine."
'That's a relief.' Lostheart thought. She looked back at Moonfur and met her own heterochromic eyes. "I'll let you rest now." Lostheart meowed, backing away toward the den's entrance.
"Wait." Moonfur meowed suddenly, causing Lostheart to stop and turn back towards the pale she-cat. Lostheart was surprised to see Moonfur looking concerned, and was immediately anxious about what could be wrong.
"What is it?" Lostheart meowed calmly, none of her worry showing through in her voice.
"Have you seen Raggedear?" Moonfur meowed hopefully. "Everyone's seen my kits but him, even Sunstar came..."
"No, I haven't. Sorry, Moonfur."
Moonfur conceded with a tired nod. "Its fine, I understand." She shot Lostheart another small smile as the black she-cat exited the den. Sighing to herself, Moonfur wrapped her tail around her kits and leaned down to rest.
"Raggedear! Raggedear!" Thistleprick called. The calico tom was now pacing around the trees, looking for his brother. He had already looked all over DarkClan's camp, but Raggedear was nowhere to be seen and no cat knew where he was.
Thistleprick quickened his pace as he ran through the forest, violet eyes searching carefully for any sign of his brother. They hadn't been separated for ages, and Thistleprick couldn't help the feeling of instant worry that came over him when he thought of his brother alone.
Raggedear could be hurt, or have gotten attacked by a fox or even a cat from Tree-Light-WhateverClan. Then there was the possibility that Raggedear could have hurt someone else, including himself...
"Raggedear! Please come out! Where are you?!" Thistleprick ran past the trees and into the long, brown grasses of the field. The sky was dark with the threat of a storm, and the wind was already blowing through the grass.
'Come on...' His eyes scanned the landscape carefully, focusing on every little detail around him. Suddenly, violet eyes widened as he caught sight of a black and orange shape hidden in the grasses. Thistleprick wasted no time running out into the fields and toward the crouching figure, and sure enough, as he approached, he could see his brother's familiar shredded ear.
"Raggedear." Thistleprick meowed, keeping his tone soft. This couldn't be a good sign, and he had figured since his disappearance...
"Follow, follow, follow. Always following me." Raggedear hissed, rising to his paws and whirling around to face his brother, fur already standing on end. Thistleprick felt his heart drop inwardly.
Thistleprick sighed. "What are you doing out here Raggedear? Don't you want to see Moonfur's kits?"
At this Raggedear laughed, a small chuckle at first before an all-out bought of laughter. It ended just as quickly as it begun as Raggedear's head snapped back toward Thistleprick, eyes filled with the familiar bitter hatred of this Raggedear. A small grin broke out on his face and he shook his head chuckling to himself.
Thistleprick remained silent, watching Raggedear with an even expression that he knew was best when dealing with this side of Raggedear.
"You, you know what's funny?" he laughed before snorting in amusement. "He actually thought she liked him." Raggedear laughed again, tears nearly coming to his eyes. "He's so pathetic, so weak. He actually thought that she- that she liked him!"
"Let's go home Raggedear."
"Why would anyone like him? I'm the strong one, I'm the better one." Raggedear's amusement seemed to vanish and his mouth straightened into a thin line, which soon became an angry scowl. "Disgusting kits, from some disgusting random tom."
"Let's go."
"I'm not going anywhere!" Raggedear hissed. "And you can't make me." Thistleprick let out a small breath and stepped closer toward Raggedear, who suddenly leapt back with a toothy grin.
"How about I take a nice stroll through TreeClan territory? I'm sure they would be thrilled to find him on their territory, wouldn't they?" Raggedear smirked as he saw the subtle change in Thistleprick's expression.
"No, please don't." Thistleprick meowed, his eyes pleading with the other cat. "Don't do that Raggedear."
"I can do whatever I want. He deserves it." Raggedear spat. "All the time, thinking he has friends, that someone would actually like, actually tolerate him. He needs to open his eyes." His smirk returned as he eyed Thistleprick once more, yellow eyes gleaming.
"Can you imagine? His body ripped to shreds, beaten within an inch of life, begging for mercy that will never come. Wouldn't that just be so entertaining?!"
Thistleprick padded toward the his brother, meeting his angry gaze. "I know you're in there Raggedear." Raggedear pulled his head back in revulsion, eyes lit up in anger.
"Think of our new clanmates. Think of Moonfur and Browneyes and Darkpelt, your friends. They're all waiting for you to come back, and I know Moonfur wants you to see her kits."
"I am Raggedear!" Raggedear yowled, tossing his head in frustration before collapsing onto the ground completely, claws digging into the earth. His body began to twitch and his claws came to grip the top of his head in agony.
"No! Stop!" Raggedear's body continued to twitch for a moment longer before his shoulders began to relax and his paws slowly fell to the ground. There, he lay unmoving, the wind ruffling his fur.
"...Thistleprick?"
Thistleprick padded to his brother's side and rubbed his head against Raggedear's affectionately. "What did he do?" Raggedear meowed, his voice hollow.
"Nothing." Thistleprick meowed, "It's okay, he didn't do anything."
Raggedear remained unmoving, still not having looked up. "I can't go back. Everyone would be in danger, the kits would be in danger. I don't belong there...I...I don't want to hurt anyone."
Thistleprick helped pull Raggedear to his paws, "You won't, not while I'm around. Okay? I promise." Raggedear turned away from his brother, still not convinced.
"Hey," Thistleprick meowed, "Look what you did today! You forced him back all on your own. You're stronger than he is Raggedear, don't ever forget that."
Raggedear finally turned to look at Thistleprick, "I did..." he meowed, becoming silent for a moment. "I guess we should get back... it looks like a storm is coming doesn't it?" Raggedear asked, looking up at the sky through tired eyes.
"Yeah, it does."