Scarborough Fair

Summary: Kuroba Kaito finds himself in a sticky situation when he's kidnapped by a man who's also guilty for the abduction of three others. How can even the Kaitou Kid escape drug-induced paralysis, a psychotic doctor, a blackmailed housekeeper, and a mansion filled with traps and dungeons?

Pairings: Very minor hints.

A/N: I own nothing except Dr. Hailey, Anita Hailey (though I don't own their names), Kojima Daisuke, Diana (though I don't own their designs) and 'A'. Okita Soshi and Nagashima Shigeo are actual DC people. Think Yaiba and Yoban Saado. Title comes from Simon and Garkunkel song. Also loosely based around Mothy's song, 'Little Garden Girl' feat. Hatsune Miku. May be called alternate name of 'Clockwork Lullaby 2'.

Prequel: "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"

Side Story: "Clockwork Relations"

EDIT(24/03/2013): Fixed a few plot holes.

"You shouldn't have bothered," Kojima muttered, running a careless hand through his spiky hair. The hair seemed to be naturally like a hedgehog's, because they just sprang back up into their spikes after his hand. "That $!# & won't %# &ing help us."

Kaito deemed it fit to ignore him, partly because the swearing didn't impress him – after Inspector Nakamouri swore at you more than three times, giving you the red-purple-blue faced Nakamouri Special Deluxe Combo at each and every one of them, you built up a very strong immunity to curses – and partly because what he bothered to do was his business. So, this vault that they were stuck in. . . To him, the place felt like a basement, and the sound of the door shutting meant that the entrance of their prison was in a room. Diana-san's voice had been still audible till the door had swung shut, so it was either a very small room, or a closet.

This was a pretty decent-sized room they were in, the approximate size of an apartment where one person might live, though he was sure that this was more complicated than that. Whoever had ordered this room to be made had a lot of money, privacy, and land. The shady kind. After all, most people in Japan didn't normally build what could have been a bunker or a torture chamber under their houses.

Diana-san had said something about a doctor holding her husband hostage. A doctor who made drugs that could kill. . . . Someone ruthless enough to not only kidnap a couple for his evildoings, but kill a random stranger to prove his power and dominance over them.

Kaito glanced back at the three other guys that were in the same situation as him. Despite Kojima being a very unfriendly – polite understatement of the year – person, Okita and Nagashima were just tired, cranky and at the end of their nerves at being held here. None of them wanted to be here in the first place.

And Kaitou Kid did not do things he didn't want to do. The thief did what he wanted, and what the thief wanted right now was to get out of this vault, get the psycho doc and throw him in jail before turning the hair colors of a few policemen pink (with easily removed dye because he was someone who knew how to be grateful, contrary to what tantei-kun thought) and then running away.

Also, he sure as hell wasn't going to leave the other three behind, which left the question; How to get them all out of here?"

"Our kidnapper most likely lives in this area," the presenter circled the area of the map around Beika. "Because the first victim, Kojima Daisuke, wasn't famous or well-known. He was a relatively normal student, which leads us to believe that the only way our kidnapper would have come in contact with the criminal was through casual sighting. He attended Jikogenba High School, and didn't have many friends, or lead an active social life. His bag and books were left in the classroom he was last seen in, meaning the kidnapper not only knew about Kojima's habits, but also knew enough about this school to slip in and out without being seen.

"While our second victim Nagashima Shigeo was not only famous – he went to the Baseball Koshien sometime ago, which was broadcasted across the country – he also lived in the area, and attended Kohnan High School. Okita Soshi, our third victim, on the other hand, lived far out of the area allowing for casual contact, but he had a profile of him done a few days after Kojima disappeared, when a newspaper did a special on young swordsmen across the country. We think the kidnapper gained interest in Okita when he saw his picture, and planned his abduction while planning and carrying out Nagashima's. After Nagashima was taken, the abductor went to Osaka, observing him till he found an opportunity to strike.

"Our fourth victim, Kuroba Kaito, supports the theory of our kidnapper living in the area. While he is the son of the famous magician Kuroba Toichi, he hasn't exactly done anything to get media coverage. He does, however, live close to where we estimate the kidnapper to be in, further backing the theory.

"As no bodies have been found, we believe they're alive. This kind of specific victimology, whoever is taking these kids is trying to accomplish something. If they're trying to collect them, then they'll most likely wait till the collection is complete before actually killing them. Kuroba may have completed the kidnapper's collection, but again, we are trying to hope for the best.

"Our criminal is most likely a man, maybe with OCD who most likely suffered something big within the last six months, enough to push him past the brinks of insanity. He's highly organized, efficient and runs a tight schedule. He takes care not to be seen by any witnesses and if they do see him, they don't quite note him as out of the ordinary because he can blend in or give a harmless appearance.

"We've compiled a list of all the houses that have the capacity of holding four teenagers – three of them with extraordinary talents, as reported by fellow classmates, teachers, and family members. The people on this list have also suffered something dramatic within the last six months. We want you to go and ask the people questions, report anything suspicious. Warrants can be issued, but don't break into houses before getting them."

Inspector Megure stepped forwards. "Let's find these boys."

Kudo Shinichi stretched, before letting out a yawn. Next to him, the woman currently trapped in a child's body shot him an annoyed look. "You were the one who dragged everyone out here," snapped the girl currently going around under the pseudonym 'Haibara Ai'. "So care to explain why?"

Dr. Agasa didn't say anything as he drove the rental car, but Shinichi could tell that his old-time neighbor wanted the answer.

Well, he supposed running into their house and dragging them out to run to a borrowed/given car to take him somewhere wasn't exactly the best explanation.

"You know that kidnapper? The one who's been taking guys that look like me?"

"We've already established that it's not Them."

"Yes, we have. Let me talk, Haibara," he ignored her glare. "You remember Club A?"

"How could I forget? You sprang Them on me without any warning."

Shinichi could just tell that she was going to be holding this particular grudge for a long time. "Yeah. Anyways, I met a certain thief the club was named after just a few hours ago."

"Lady A?" Dr. Agasa looked back, and nearly drove his car into a lamppost. "Sorry, sorry!"

"Yeah, her. She says she has personal interest in seeing this case solved before anyone dies. We've made . . . a deal of a sort."

"You really love to gamble with the Devil, don't you?" Ai commented, leaning her head on the window. "So? What was the deal?"

"You're not my mother," Shinichi stated flatly after he folded up the letter and placed it back into the envelope.

"When did you figure it out?" the person that was not his mother grinned cheekily, and swung his watch around cheerfully on 'her' finger. Shinichi looked down to see the tranquilizer watch missing.

Damn thieves.

There wasn't enough room in the car for him to shoot a super-charged soccer ball to 'her' head, and he would be the one to suffer most if he inflated the soccer ball to its full capable size. Time to stall for more time.

"Your driving," he said while keeping an eye on 'her'. "Even my mom isn't that bad at it."

"Whoops," 'she' muttered. "Should have paid more attention, eh?"

"And then there's your makeup on your mask," he continued, casually moving his hand near the pocket that was farthest away from 'her'. "My mother doesn't wear that brand of makeup."

"It's my favorite brand," 'she' pouted. "I was short on time. It was hard enough knocking her out and stealing her cell phone."

"You knocked out my mother?" his hand came back onto his lap, clenched in a child's fist.

"Oh, she's perfectly safe. It's like one of these tranquil darts," 'she' gestured to the watch.

If it was like one of his tranquilizer darts, she should have been fine. Soon, she'd wake up, notice her missing phone, and track it down.

"Who are you?" he raised an eyebrow. "And why the profile?"

"We haven't met before," 'she' smiled, and extended a hand. "I'm Lady A. Edogawa Conan, yes?"

"Detective," he added, taking her hand. There was something covering her fingertips. Probably to keep them from leaving fingerprints behind. "Again, why the profile?"

She yawned. "If that envelope was dropped off at the police headquarters by an anonymous person, what do you think would have happened?"

"They would have opened it up and seen that it was a profile. For the case they're working on," he answered.

"Correct. But why? I mean, an official criminologist would be working with the police, requesting everybody in the department to cooperate, to make sure all possible information was at their disposal. Profiles of criminals aren't just randomly dropped off in police stations. If I did that, they'd be suspicious. Oh, I'm sure they'll recognize that it would be a very helpful compass in their quest to find the lost boys; my friend's pretty good at producing good work when I annoy her. But they'd also think that this was a method the kidnapper – or anyone sympathetic to his cause – was using to throw them off track. Waste valuable time on either going through every single piece of information in there, or tracking down the person who dropped it off. An average kidnapped victim is dead after twenty four to thirty six hours, and while this isn't average, I'd rather not gamble with bright lives of young people."

Shinichi kept his eyes on the watch in her hand. "Makes sense. So what's in it for you?"

"The satisfaction of knowing I saved very talented teens from a much-too early death?" she suggested. "That, and its personal interest. I'm a fan. Come on, Conan-kun, I chose you as my courier because you have a strong sense of justice. These kids aren't dead yet as far as I know, but they're in danger."

"You owe me for this," he stuffed the profile back into the envelope, and waved the letter in her face. "But why'd you write a letter in m- in the name of Shinichi-niisan?" He had nearly slipped and told the thief that he was the Kudo Shinichi. Hopefully, Lady A hadn't noticed.

She winked. "You and that high school detective are pretty popular and trusted in this police department. They wouldn't question it if it had both your supports backing it. So, Great Detective of the Century-san? Catch this kidnapper for me, and I'll make it worth your while!"

A smoke bomb went off, and Shinichi began to cough as the smoke turned out to make him very, very drowsy. Lady A put the watch and the car keys on the dashboard before taking an envelope out from a purse he hadn't noticed before. "Additional information," she explained, yawning as she peeled some kind of thin, clear plastic off the keys. Being older, she had a stronger resistance to the gas filling the car. His body was a prison sometimes. "The car's rented for another three weeks. Use it how you will, it's all paid for."

She left by the door on her side, and shut it quickly. By the time he had managed to struggle through the drug's influence, grab the keys and open the door for fresh air, she was gone.

Glaring at the direction he had last seen her go, Shinichi sat down and opened the second envelope.

'My team already found the most likely address, but that's just too specific, so I leave this tidbit of information to you. The police should be there soon, if they follow the profile, so wait for them.'

Below that were an address, and a few more additional sentences.

'Oh, and my tech-savvy friend hacked into nearly every resource he could get to, and he tells me a child named 'Edogawa Conan' never existed. Interesting things, eh? If the media knew the friendly rival of the great Kaitou Kid didn't exist. . . .'

Was that supposed to be a threat? Or. . . . He remembered what she had said.

"So, Great Detective of the Century-san? Catch this kidnapper for me, and I'll make it worth your while!"

He closed the letter up and shoved it into his pocket. At the very least, he could get Lady A to shut up on his non-existent alias. At the most, another skilled criminal would owe him. Somewhat.

"So," Haibara crossed her arms and shot him a dead look. "You're going to play hero to keep your identity secret with a thief who may or may not keep the deal."

"Pretty much," he admitted. "But I think she'll keep her word."

Before, back when Haibara was nothing more than someone in the same unfortunate situation with him, when she was nothing more than someone working on a way to get him back to his real body, she would have said several things about his sanity, his common sense, his mentality, all of them rude in her usual dry way. Now, she seemed to trust him enough to just sink back into her seat as she closed her eyes.

Shinichi appreciated the support. He really did.