Too Late To Give It Up Chapter 6: In the End it Really Doesn't Matter Abou, a yu yu hakusho fanfic

Ch #6 In the End it Really Does Not Matter About Mixed Emotions

"Bell, Let me see your arms. Are you up to your old habits", he asked reaching for my arm. I snatched it from him. "What I do is none of your business. So what if I did? I needed to get help, and I couldn't go to you for this because you would claim that this is just a phase. This may be just a phase but you need to get two of those boys interested in someone before I come back around. I don't care which two. Actually just find Yusuke a girlfriend. Kurama and Hiei are fine because I can deal with any bull-shit they might decide to dish out", I said. "Just tell me the truth, do not go off subject again. Let me see your arm", he said this time grabbing my arm and holding it. He saw the fresh cuts on my arm and looked at me like a father would to his daughter who had done something insanely wrong. "Don't get your panties in a wad. I caught some briers on the way here. At least that is what three of them are from", I said looking away and letting my bangs cover my eyes. "Bella, did you intentionally hurt yourself again", he asked. "Yes, I did. I did this to myself sixteen times", I said finally.

"You're coming back with me, and that is an order. I will not have you living here by yourself because your life is still in danger", Koemma said. "My life may still be in danger? Well you know what? I don't care, just let them kill me," I said walking away. "NO! You're coming with me, and I know how I'm going to reintroduce you to the gang", Koemma said with a smirk. "What are you going to do, punish me for being bad like a father would do.", I asked. "Yes, I am. You will be singing in a bar, and I will send them to interrogate you, but you will then tell them that you're undercover for me. Am I understood", he asked. "Yes I guess so. At what time do I need to make an appearance? It is 4:00 P.M. now", I asked. "You will need to be there around six, so I am going to go and brief them, and allow them to get ready for their 'big night', and your sisters will be there as well", Koemma said. "Okay, I will see you there", I said heading to my closet to drag out some clothes. He left, and then I realized something. I was already in clubbing clothes. I decided not to change and instead do my makeup. I wore black eye shadow, black mascara, clear lip gloss, and no foundation. I have this creamy white complexion, and I don't want foundation to ruin it for me. I finally grabbed my vanilla and strawberry lotion and rubbed it on my arms, and I smelled amazing afterwards. I went to my dresser drawer, and grabbed my wallet which contained $350. I walked out the door at 5:30, and ran to the bar at a light jog. I did this so the humans would not know I was a demon. I got whistled at, but I ignored it, and kept jogging. Finally at 5:50, I walked in the door. "Miss Sachi, you must be the new hired singer here at 'Chrysline's Bar'", this guy asked me. "Yes I am, do I need to audition", I asked. "No, you do not. A guy named Koemma has dropped off a demo of you singing in the shower. If you can sound like that in the shower, then I wonder what magic you can do on the stage, he said. "I'm sorry, but I did not catch your name", I said. "Oh, I'm sorry, my apologies. My name is Chu, I competed in the dark tournament a few years back, and I opened this bar up as a pass time", he said grinning. He had long purple hair that was in a Mohawk style, and went down into a ponytail down his back. "Nice to meet you. Should I go on stage now", I asked. "Yes, but hold on", he said walking on stage to the microphone, and talking in to it, "Howdy ya'll this little 'Sheila' here is new to the Chrysline family. Make her feel welcome, and she will sing for ya'll. Meet Isabella Sachi", he announced as I walked on stage. I heard whistling, and hoots and hollers, and that is when I spotted all of them. They sat at the back table. Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, Kuwabara, Amy, Micella, Kayko, Botan, Ayame, Yukina, and Koemma, they were all there sitting at that long back table. Suddenly I felt sick, and the sound of Koemma's voice woke me out of my trance. "You can do it, Bell, I have faith in you", I heard him say. "Hey everyone, I am new here. My name is Isabella Riley Blair Elizabeth Kage Sachi. I am eighteen, and today I am going to try to sing a song for you. I hope you like it", I said smiling. I waited for my part to come on, and I sang this:

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her

And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
and all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder
Which of us do you love?

So I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe...no...more.

"Thank you everyone! That was "Breathe No More" by Evanescence. I hope you all enjoyed it", I said. My voice barley carried far enough to be heard over the entire crowd. What really came as a shock to me is when they screamed the words "ENCORE". While I was in the process of trying to get back off stage, Chu blocked my path. "Bell, they want you! You have to get up there, and sale it baby. Sing something upbeat, something that will get them moving. Sing something to make them get up and dance", he said. "Something like what", I asked scared to death. "I don't know, think of something", he said. I walked back on the stage, and the crowd roared to the top of their lungs. "I guess you want an encore", I asked. As soon as the question was out, they got louder. "Um… here goes nothing, I guess", I said. As soon as my part came on, I began to sing:

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
The world is in your hand
But I will fight until the end

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
Won't follow your command
But I will fight and I will stand

Spoken:
When darkness falls
Pain is all
The Angel of Darkness
will leave behind
and I will fight

The love is lost
beauty and light
have vanished from
garden of delight

The dreams are gone
midnight has come
the darkness is our new kingdom

Yeah, yeah

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
The world is in your hand
But I will fight until the end

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
Won't follow your command
But I will fight and I will stand

Spoken:
Hunt goes on
deep in the night
time to pray
down on your knees
you can't hide from the
eternal light
until my last
breath I will fight( I will fight...)

Verse2:
Now realize
the stars they die
darkness has
fallen in paradise

but we'll be strong
and we will fight
against the
creatures of the night

Hey, yeah

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
The world is in your hand
But I will fight until the end

Angel of darkness
Angel of darkness
Won't follow your command
But I will fight and I will stand

The whole time while I was singing, everyone was dancing. Well everyone except the people at the back table. When I finally finished the song, I said the words that the crowd was not expecting to hear. "The Angel of Darkness is me", I said. They stared chanting the words "Angel of Darkness". They chanted it over and over. "Is that what you all want to call me", I asked. The crowd cheered, so I took that as a yes. "That last song was "Angel of Darkness" by Alex C. and Yasmine K. Does anyone have any requests", I asked. The very Kajihenge that would barely speak walked his spiky little head up to the stage. "I have a request. I want you to sing the song "Pain" by 3 Days Grace, and the song "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World", he said. "That can be done, and I'll even add in an extra song or two", I said. He walked to the back of the room, and sat down at his table. The music started playing, and as soon as the vocals were ready for me, I started singing:

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

The crowd was still cheering me on even as I hit the last note. "That was "Pain" by Three Days Grace, and I am fixing to sing "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World. After that song, I will sing my two bonus songs, and yes I meant two because I added a second one I would like to perform, and then I am going home for the night. I am sorry", I said getting myself ready for the next song. The music started playing, and I cued myself in, and started singing:

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.
I know.
I'm gonna smile and not get worried.
I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills.
It takes my pain away.

It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are hurried times.
Oh, oh, oh
I can't let it bother me.

I never thought I'd walk away from you.
I did.
But it's a false sense of accomplishment.
Every time I quit

Anyone can see my every flaw.
It isn't hard.
Anyone can say they're above this all.
It takes my pain away.

It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are hurried times.

I can't let it bother me.

It takes my pain away.

It's a lie. A kiss with open eyes
and she's not breathing back.
Anything but bother me.
(It takes my pain away)
Never mind these are hurried times.

Takes my pain
takes my pain
takes my pain
takes my pain away

I ignored the crowd for once because I had already announced my last song. So I waited for my music to come in and I opened my mouth, and I sang:

open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I waited for the crowd to quiet down, and I finally spoke. "That was "Untitled" by Simple Plan. My next song will be by The Goo Goo Dolls. The name of the song will be called "Iris". I hope you all enjoy this because this will be my last song of the night", I said. I waited for the music to start, and I started to sing my final song:

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

I walked off the stage and was greeted by Chu. "Sheila, you are amazing! I can't believe how alive you make the crowd. And I like your title "Angel of Darkness"… Kind of catchy. I just hope you can work with us on later dates", he said hugging me and walking away. I walked towards the back table, and stopped when I finally made it through the crowd to the table. "Koemma, I thought you wouldn't be here", I said. "Well I had to make sure you would show up. I'm glad you did because you sounded amazing up there. I mean I knew you had talent, but I really had no idea that you were that talented. Now I know who to go to if I'm in a money jam! We can enter you in various contests with your approval of course. I mean we can even...", He trailed off and finally shut up when I put my hand up to silence him. "You talk way too much. However thanks for sending in my tape that means a lot. Um… Hi everyone I'm Bell… I'm kind of like his adopted daughter", I said talking to everyone. After I was introduced to the guys I pulled Amy and Micella outside to have a "Chat" with them.

"What's the big idea we just met CHILL", Amy said. "Hey, did you not hear my last name", I asked her. "OH MY GOD YOUR'E OUR SISTER", Micella said latching on to me. "Let go of me, please I don't like to be crowded", I said. "Where have you been", they asked in unison. I explained about the chapter black and how Koemma found me, but I did however leave out the details about swiping their memories. I figured it was best not to even think that they would understand why I did what I did. "Well it's nice to have a family reunion for what little family we have left", I said with a soft smile. We walked back in, arm in arm, and sat down at the table. I was getting stared at by a guy who looked about my age. I decided to go over and speak to him. He had light blue two toned hair and red eyes. He was really cute so I decided, why not. "Hey guys, I will be back in a second. It seems I have a fan", I said getting up, and walking over to him.

"So, my name is", I started but he raised his hand to cut me off. "You're Isabella Sachi. I heard your name when it was announced on stage. You are really talented. My name is Toya, and I can tell you're not human. So, with that being said, I am going to go ahead and tell you I am an ice demon", he said. "Well, that's nice to know. That saves me some confusion in the long run. However, I noticed you were staring at me from across the bar. I walked over here to find out why", I said to him. "Well obviously, you're gorgeous, and not only that, but you have an amazing voice. I was just wondering, if maybe you wouldn't mind singing at my bar sometime", he said. "What is the name of your bar", I asked. ""The Dark Light", it's like a hot bar these days. I think the crowd would enjoy hearing the, now famous, "Angel of Darkness"", he said. "I would love to, but I need to get settled into my new home first", I said. He grabbed my hand, kissed it, and then released it. "Thank you Miss Sachi. I am truly honored", he said in a respectful tone. "No need to thank me. I feel like now that I have expressed my talent here, I should express it in other areas as well. However, I must go my companions look ready to leave", I said attempting to walk away, but he caught my wrist instead. "Hold on for one second. Why did you call them your 'companions'? Why don't you just call them friends? You must be just like a guy I know. His name is Hiei, and you need to meet him", he said. "I know Hiei, and I really must go now", I said slightly snatching my arm from him, and walking over to where they sat.

"Remind me never to do that again", I said. "Was it that bad", Amy asked me worriedly. "No, not really, I don't guess. However, he wants me to perform at his bar, "The Dark Light". I told him I needed to get used to my new surroundings first", I said looking at the boys shocked faces. "You didn't tell them did you? Koemma, you better have told them", I said looking at Koemma. "Well, Bell, I was going to, but then you kind of ruined it for me to tell them when you said that "you needed to get used to your new surroundings", he said cowering in the corner. "Figures, well anyways, I am moving in with you all. I guess you will all have to get used to having me around", I said with a smile. "Bell, we would be delighted to have you", Kurama said getting up, and kissing my hand. "Well, thank you, Kurama. I am glad to see at least one of you has manners", I said with a joking smile. "Well, Bell, we were all thinking it, but Kurama is the only one who knows how to say what's on his mind. Well, and Hiei, but that only happens if he pissed about something", Yusuke said walking over to me, and hugging me, which I returned. Kuwabara just walked over and shook my hand, and Hiei just sat there, but I didn't take it personally because I knew he was like to everyone.

"Hey shrimp, why don't you come over here, and greet the girl", Kuwabara said. However that is when I reached up to slap him. He didn't even have time to think before the slap landed across his cheek. "What the hell was that for", Kuwabara said. "That was for you calling him a shrimp! I am shorter than him, ass", I said walking outside. I was followed outside by Kurama, and I didn't realize it until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, turned around quickly, and sent a round house kick to his stomach, and he went flying backwards. "Damn, you're strong for a girl", he said wincing as he attempted to stand up. "Here, take my hand and I will help you up. Let that be a lesson to you. Don't sneak up behind me without letting me know who you are", I said offering him my hand. He took the offer, and I helped him up. "You will have to excuse Kuwabara, he sometimes doesn't know what he is saying. However, I think you slapped him for another reason then the fact that he picked on Hiei's height", Kurama said eying me carefully. "What do you mean? I don't even know him. I only slapped him because I am shorter than Hiei, and therefore that means he was calling me short as well", I said without hesitation. I knew that if I allowed any hesitation in my voice that it would let him in deep enough to figure out what all happened. "I feel like I know you, Isabella. That is abnormal to me because I have never seen you before. Who are you", he asked.

"Kurama, if I could tell you how you knew me, I would. However, you don't know me. I would tell you if you did. I'm just Isabella Riley Blair Elizabeth Kage Sachi", I said looking away from him. The door opened wide, and Hiei walked out. He shut the door behind him, and walked over to where we were standing. 'Why didn't you two come back inside", Hiei asked cautiously. "We were just talking, and that's all. Bell, I will see you inside", he said taking my hand and kissing it. He walked away leaving me and Hiei there alone. "What was all that about", he asked. "I don't know", I replied walking over to the railing, and leaning against it. He followed me and stood beside me. "You do know that memory beams don't work on the physic, right", he asked with a slight smirk. "Yeah, I do now", I said looking away. "Why did you try to erase my memory, and why did you erase theirs", he asked. "Because I thought it was better off with you not knowing who I am", I said looking at him with a pleading expression. "Bell, ever since I have met you, I have told you that I respect who you are", Hiei said.

"Don't you get it? In the end all these mixed emotions will destroy everything we have worked so hard to obtain. I think it's best if we all just remain friends. I don't want any more fighting, and we all know that this is just going to be a repeat of what happened last time. That is why I left, and it is also why I swiped everyone's memory", I said looking at him, and wishing secretly, that he was not there. "Well, if that's the way you feel, then I guess there is no stopping you. I also guess that there is no talking you out of your decision either. Whatever, I guess", he said walking away. "Hiei wait...", I started to say, but he had already walked back inside. "Sometimes I wonder when you would be standing here alone", said a voice behind me. "What do you need Yusuke", I asked turning around to face him. "Just to talk", he replied cautiously. "Talk about what? Let me guess, you like me", I said. "Well, you're beautiful, and yeah you have an amazing talent, but I have a girlfriend", he said. "Well thank you because so far you're the only one other than Kuwabara who thinks that, and does not like me", I said looking at him with a sweet expression. "Wait, Hiei likes you" he asked kind of shocked. "Would you keep it down? Yes, he likes me, but I had to turn him down over personal reasons", I said looking away. "Bell, I understand, and you don't have to tell me anything, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here" he said smiling a half smile.

I smiled back, and he pulled me into a protective brotherly hug. There was nothing meant by it, and that was the way it was supposed to be. "Well, you kept on about how you wouldn't involve mixed emotions. Well Kurama has kissed you, and you said it was nothing. How do you explain what is going on between you and Yusuke", Hiei said walking up behind us. "Well for starters, I was just telling her that If she needed help, that I was here for her. Secondly, Bell, you never told me Kurama kissed you", he said turning to face me. "Okay, look he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Is that such a bad thing? Now you know, Hiei. This is why I left the first time", I said looking at him. "What do you mean the first time", Yusuke asked. I sent a memory beam to give everyone back their memories. "Bell, why did you cock such an attitude with everyone last night", Yusuke asked.

"Maybe because I knew this would happen", I said looking at them both with pleading eyes. Kurama rushed out the door, and everyone else followed. "I knew I knew you, and why did you lie to me", Kurama said rushing up to me and taking my hand. I snatched it away, and looked at Koemma, who took his cue. "I want everyone to give her some space for a while. She will talk to you all one on one later. However, you three boys need to give her time to think before you try to break her down into pieces and parts. She can't take that again. I promise you, one more wrong move against her, and you will never see the light of day again. I will let her fully unleash her powers of darkness on you", Koemma said looking at Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei.

"Koemma, what if we need to talk to her now? I need to speak with her about her memory beams, and why the hell she sent one to all of us", Yusuke said. "I sent them because all three of you were infatuated with me", I said looking at Yusuke. "What the hell does infatuated mean", he asked. "Smitten, got-the-hots-for, crushing, those are some phrases that mean the exact same thing, and I could not take it anymore. So, I did what I told myself I would never do, I ran away with my tail between my legs. Never again, and this time I'm going to tell all three of you straight up. Yusuke, Amy is a good choice for you because she likes you, and I don't. Kurama, maybe you should listen to Botan, and go for Micella, because I don't like you, and I more than likely never will. You two need to get over me, and move on with your lives", I said looking away. I had eleven shocked faces looking at me. "Bell, why the hell did you tell him? Do you realize how awkward you just made things for me? If he doesn't like me back, then I have to live with that for the rest of the time that we all live together", Amy said glaring at me. "Amy, if you want me to, I can erase every one's mind again, and Hiei, I now know how to erase your mind even though your physic. Don't push me", I said looking at them.

"Bell, you don't need to do that. What you need to do is calm down. We are your friends. Well, hell some of us are," Yusuke said looking down. I could tell he was feeling guilty, so I attempted to walk away. This, however, was not accomplished because Kurama caught my arm. "You don't have to do this. You can stay and we can fix this, or you can run away again if you must. You know that the only thing that will happen is you will be brought right back to the same place again. This is your destiny, and you should just accept that," Kurama said. "Why do you even care? You don't know me. None of you do, and that was the way I would have liked to have kept it, but some things are better left unsaid", I said looking down.