Rising from the Ashes of Ascension
Chapter 25
Disclaimer: As much as I might wish, I do not own Stargate: SG1, Highlander: the Series, or any recognizable characters from either show. If I did, I wouldn't be working in the public schools system. However, any characters that are not from either show are mine and I will use and abuse them as I see fit. Everyone else will be returned eventually, for I am only borrowing for awhile, but they might end up a bit scuffed.
Warnings: Potty language, violence, and sexual references (there are references to rape, but nothing graphic)
The official debriefing took place an hour after Janet and her band of sadistic nurses officially declared Daniel to be snake-free. They had conducted every conceivable test known to man, jabbed him full of needles, and did two full-body scans just to make sure that there wasn't a pesky Goa'uld hiding out somewhere in his body. It was a long process that he neither appreciated or welcomed. While he knew that his word on the matter wasn't good enough, he didn't like having to hold still for so long.
The story that the team had decided upon was that the Ancients didn't want a Goa'uld to have the knowledge of the Ancients that resided in Daniel's mind, so an Ancient, maybe Oma De Sala even, used her great cosmic powers to remove it from his body. Once it was removed, Daniel killed the thing with his bare hands, which was the truth. It sounded a bit far-fetched, but considering that far-fetched pretty much described daily activity on the base since the gate was first opened the story told was believable enough.
They did tell Hammond, Janet, and Abbott the truth later, off-base. Daniel figured he owed the General and the good doctor the full and honest story. He told Abbott the truth because he owed the guy. The man was a decent Watcher, who knew the better part of valor and discretion. Thanks to Abbott, the Watchers were not making his life miserable, always poking and prodding into matters that they had best stay out of. He owed the man something; also he figured that if the program (or Immortals) ever came out of the closet, the fact that regular Goa'uld symbiotes were not compatible with Immortal physiology would be important for many to know.
When Hammond stopped yelling at him for what seemed like half an hour, the General understood and sympathized with what had happened to him and to Adam.
Adam meanwhile was busy meeting with the family members of his team. He had been granted emergency leave to attend the funerals that would be occurring. While he did not claim to be an overly sentimental person, the men of SG-9 had been his friends and co-workers. It hurt that he had lived while they had died. A part of him had wished that at least one of them had been an Immortal, so that way he wouldn't have lost all of them, but another part, a bigger part, was glad that another one hadn't been added to the insanity that was an Immortal life. In the meantime, he needed to be there when the notification officer met with the families. He owed his teammates that much.
SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1
Jack, Sam, Teal'c, and Daniel, coming back when they did, their timing coincided with the two days they would have had off normally and were granted an extra day of leave in addition to their normal break. Teal'c left Earth to visit with his son Rya'c. Sam said she was going out to San Diego to see her brother and his family. Jack had mentioned something about fishing, which caused the other members of SG-1 to run for the hills (or airport or Gate actually), refusing to waste their precious leave time.
Daniel, looking at the mess that was his office, taking in the full inbox, the artifacts that cluttered his desk, and the post-it notes stuck on his computer screen, decided that all of it could wait. He was going home (least he get caught by Jack and dragged along for a weekend of fishing).
SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1
He stopped and picked up some dinner at his local grocery store, but once at home, he only picked at it. His enthusiasm for having three days to himself had worn off the minute he had stepped through his front door. Daniel, even though he knew he would never admit it to Jack, wished he had taken his friend up on his offer. Sitting by a pond with a pole in hand while slapping at mosquitoes sounded a lot better than sitting in his quiet home, alone with only his thoughts to keep him company.
After giving up on eating, he dug around in a cabinet and found a bottle of Jack Daniels. He was pretty sure that he didn't remember buying it, figuring that it had to belong to Jack. With a promise to replace the alcohol at some point, he grabbed the bottle, not bothering with a glass, and wandered out into his living room. He threw himself onto the couch and with a moment of digging, fished the remote control out from between the cushions and flipped on the television.
Daniel sat there, drinking quietly, hoping that he had enough to give him a buzz at the very least. He wanted something to numb the pain and since the military tended to frown upon recreational drug use, even for its civilian employees, alcohol would have to do.
Finally, he settled on a movie, a horribly cheesy looking sci-fi flick: Vampires: Los Muertos starring Jon Bon Jovi and Natasha Wagner. He was hoping the alcohol and crap-taular movie would keep his mind otherwise occupied, but unfortunately his thoughts started to wander down paths he normally would rather not go.
As he sat there, thinking about the times he had hurt others, violated them, taken what was precious to them, killed them (if they were lucky) he got more and more pissed. Eventually, the rage built up to the point where he couldn't contain it any longer. Daniel took the nearly empty bottle and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million shards of glass, feeling a sense of release through the act of violence.
Just then, as he was contemplating either going out and getting another bottle (or two – having extra alcohol in the house never hurt anyone) or going out and starting a bar fight for shits and giggles, there was a knock at his front door and a turning of the dead bolt.
Without even considering who it could be at the door, beyond noting that it wasn't another Immortal, opening the door with a key, Daniel wrenched the door open and grabbed the person who was attempting to violate his privacy.
Right before he was about to beat the person into a bloody pulp, a familiar voice managed to make it through his alcohol and trip down memory lane haze.
"For fuck's sake Daniel, it's me," Jack shouted at him, grabbing a hold of his friend, preparing to take him down if at all possible.
"Jack?" Daniel looked at him in surprise. "What's going on?"
"You tell me Sunny Muffin. You're the one who went all ninja-boy on me," Jack shot back, allowing Daniel to set him back on his feet. Despite the fact that he did have a couple of inches on Daniel and a few more pounds, Daniel was quite strong. It must come from the years upon years of training and fighting for his life, beyond the daily horrors that the SGC presented them, he reasoned silently.
"Sorry Jack, I thought you were someone else?" Daniel said embarrassed, turning red.
"Who else would be here at this time at night, using a key to get in your place?" Jack asked, shaking his head. Moving further into the home, he noticed the mess on the wall and floor. "Having problems holding our alcohol, are we?"
Daniel sighed. "Something like that," he conceded then left to get a broom and a dust pan.
Quickly he cleaned up the mess and came back to the living room. He found Jack sitting in one of his arm chairs, watching the movie, with beer and pizza sitting on the coffee table.
"I thought you were going up to your cabin for some fishing," Daniel postulated, sitting back down on his couch, pulling a Heineken out of the box, opening it, and taking a long pull from it.
Jack shrugged. "I thought about it, but I guess my heart wasn't into it. It's a long drive and I didn't have it in me to do it. Besides, be my luck that I get half way there and I get called back to the mountain."
"Why are you here?" Daniel asked, sitting back, looking at his friend with cool, ice-blue eyes.
"I was bored and I thought you could entertain me," Jack lied. He had seen the look in Daniel's eyes. It was one of hurt pride and resentment. Jack knew, maybe better than most, that if Daniel allowed such feelings to fester, there would be acts of rage and violence that the Immortal would no doubt regret later. It wasn't a matter of Daniel being Immortal and a product of his environment and past; it was more of a matter of Daniel being human.
Daniel, knowing that Jack was lying but let it go anyway, shrugged. "I'm really not the life of the party right now."
"I see that," Jack gestured to the now-drying wet-spot on the wall. "You know Teal'c is going to have a fit if the paint gets stained. He really put a lot of thought into picking out that particular shade."
Teal'c had dragged him to Home Depot and spent considerable time going thought the different shades and hues available to them. The man spent too much time watching the Home and Garden Channel and Trading Places.
They watched the end of the movie, seeing the battle between Bon Jovi's character and the vampire lady, in silence. After that, they flipped through the channels and finally came across Cops. There was nothing else on, so they watched the prime example of trash on TV. Luckily it was the episode where the cops found a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig in an abandoned home. It provided some laughs to somewhat lighten a dark mood permeating the room. After that, they watched an episode of Futurama.
"If I needed it, would you fight off predators that wanted to eat my off-spring?" Jack asked.
"Are you asking me if I would be your schmizmar? Jack I am touched, but we all know who that person would be," Daniel said, smiling. "While I could never be the person who inspires feelings of love, I would escort your young to your pond. Besides, the idea of knocking you up by touching your hand is beyond creepy."
"True," Jack agreed. "I think I would rather fly an X-302 directly into a sun before letting something like that happen to me. And just think, you'll remember that the next time you touch my bare hand," Jack snickered evilly.
They sat there and watched the ending and credits roll. Finally, Daniel couldn't take it any longer. While he did appreciate Jack being there, he didn't want to prolong the reason behind the visit any longer.
"Okay Jack, what is it you want to get off your chest? As much as I appreciate the beer, pizza, and crap TV, what do you want? You obviously want to talk, or should I just toss you out?" He knew what Jack wanted, but he wanted to hear Jack say it for himself. He needed someone to open up that can of worms for him. It was too hard to do it by him-self. Call him a coward, but everyone had things that required help from someone else.
Jack took a deep breath before speaking. "I want to know how you are doing with everything that happened back on the evil Jungle Book world. You got yourself snaked Danny. You can't be okay with that."
Daniel sighed. "No, Jack, I am not okay with that. Having a snake stuck in me was one of the most painful and humiliating experiences in my life. I don't know how you survived having that done to you. That was horrible. I could feel it moving around, trying to take control of me. I
can't even imagine what would have happened if Shiva had been allowed to take me over. Can you imagine how much damage an Immortal-Goa'uld would have caused?"
Jack blanched at the thought of a Goa'uld-ed Daniel running amuck about the galaxy. The man had knowledge of the Ancients stuck somewhere up in his head, along with the secrets of the SGC, and just to complicate things even more, there was that little issue of Immortals and the Game. Talk about a security nightmare.
"What really pisses me off is how violated I feel," Daniel added.
"Well, what you went through was a violation of epic proportions Daniel. There is nothing wrong with what you feel. I remember when I was snaked; I'm up to three times now, aren't I? It's not something to be enjoyed," Jack observed, looking at his friend closely, checking for signs of madness.
"It's not so much that. I'm pissed because I feel like I have no right to be as pissed as I am over being violated by a Goa'uld," Daniel said.
"Okay, I have no idea what you just said," Jack said, looking honestly confused.
"I lied to Sam and Janet when they asked if I had ever raped someone. I did, back in the day. I violated people with absolutely no thought to what it was doing to them. I think it's only fitting that I get something similar done to me," Daniel said, bitterness evident in his voice.
"Why did you lie to the gals?" Jack pressed.
"Would you admit to others, women, who trust you with their lives, that you were a rapist? They would never have looked at me again without wondering if I was going to do that to them some day," Daniel admitted.
"You admitted that you've killed people before. They know about that. They know you are a killer, yet they've accepted you in spite of it," Jack reasoned, his mind whirling at the thought of Daniel, his gentle friend, raping someone.
"Rape is different," Daniel shrugged. "Survivors have to deal with the crime everyday of their lives. It never goes away. Killing someone, the crime happens then it's over. The person that is dead no longer has to deal with after effects or consequences."
Jack shook his head, amazed that his friend could continuously surprise him with new details of his life. "Would you do something like that again?"
Daniel recoiled, looking horrified. "Gods no! That is something that I never would want to do to someone. Though, back when I had my little break with sanity, I momentarily thought about it," he admitted.
"When you were off your rocker, you were back in a more primitive state of mind, back to when it was a fight or die kind of world that you were in. You've grown since then. I wish you could see that," Jack said.
"Jack, there is a part of me that knows rationally that I'm not the same as I was when I was out of my mind, but there is another part of me that fears I could go back to being that way," Daniel admitted.
"Well, Daniel I think after Anubis being allowed to join the glow club somehow, I doubt the other Ancients would have allowed Oma to help you ascend if you were still truly a head-case. I am sure they would at least said something to her," Jack said, sitting back in his chair.
"Yeah, but," Daniel began but was hushed by Jack.
"Quiet you. Daniel, you are a good person. Accept that once and for all. You've had your moments of pissiness, but those moments were generally brought on by circumstances beyond your control. You are only human, despite your Immortality, and are entitled to have a breaking point. Even before you came to the SGC, you experienced things that were beyond horrible and once you joined up with us, before and after Abydos, you, along with the rest of us have had to endure things that no one else ever has had to deal with. If you weren't questioning your sanity now and again, that is when I would worry about you. And for your worthiness to join the Glow Club, you got kicked out because you broke some pretty important rules for helping us. I would say that you, even with your past the way it is, were too good for them and am damn glad you are back here with us lesser beings," Jack spewed, showing once and for all that he was not the moron he liked others to believe he was.
"But I still feel like crap for being pissed over being snaked," Daniel admitted.
"Yes, you fucked up big time in the past, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't feel bad about what happened with Kali. You finally learnt a lesson that was a long time in the making," Jack said.
"Maybe," Daniel agreed reluctantly.
"So did getting it all off your chest with Kali begin to start the healing process?" Jack asked absently, swirling the beer around the bottom of his bottle. "I mean, you were pretty gung-ho about it."
"Well, would you rather have had me try to talk your way out of prison and let Kali go with full knowledge of the SGC, Immortals, and a batch of baby Goa'ulds that would have been compatible with Immortal physiology?"
"No."
"So I was a bit enthusiastic about killing her," Daniel protested. "I think I was a bit justified in my actions. Also, if you noticed, once it was over, my nastier side was put back in its case and stored in the back of the shed."
"Covered in blood," Jack said, remembering the sight of his friend and Methos standing there, holding large, machete-like swords, doused in the alien's blood. "It did look a bit Horseman-ish, if you ask me."
"It did," Daniel shrugged. "The nice thing was that we got the job done without slaughtering everyone in the palace after we killed her. Back in the day, we wouldn't have stopped with Kali. She would have just been the beginning."
"See, you have grown. You two just managed to gross out the rest of us with your bowling and hurling of the body in the meantime."
"I try," Daniel said with fake modesty.
Their conversation after that drifted to something lighter and the dark cloud that Daniel had put over himself was lifted. He wasn't in a rage, throwing bottles against the wall, and condemning himself for acts that had occurred centuries ago or things that had happened when he mentally got lost. The storm had passed and clearing skies were predicted.
A/N: Well, what do you think? Crap or not? Hit the shiny review button and let me know what you think?
This is later than what I was planning on. My excuses are 1) I made changes to this chapter as I was typing it up. Originally I was going to go for a lighter chapter, with more humor, but it just didn't seem to click as I was typing it up. Also, 2) I got distracted by other things (Lorilei: Sprite anyone?).
I brought up the rape thing, despite the fact that I normally do not like to use the idea of rape as part of entertainment. I don't find it to be a subject that should be used for another's amusement under any circumstance. However, I felt that because of a few things I "said" in "The Immortal Spacemonkey," that the subject could and should be touched on in this story. Also, if Danil was such a jackass during his crazy period and hung out with the Horsemen, it would have only made sense that he would have taken advantage of someone in that way. Also, if you consider the culture, rape for men wasn't always considered a crime and something accepted in certain cultures. Of course, women were held to much different standards. Since I didn't go into graphic details about it, I hope people won't be too put off by this chapter. And no, Sam and Janet will not find out about this conversation or any of the details.
The Cops episode was an actual segment from the show that had been filmed in Kansas City and the episode of Futurama was entitled "Kip Gets Knocked up a Notch," first aired January 2003. That episode is one of my favorite from the show and I just had to incorporate the idea of Jack having a schmizmar. I used Cops because it's one of those shows that I don't normally seek out to watch, but will stop and watch if I come across it.
Thanks for continuing to read my stuff and if you happen to feel the urge to leave a review behind, hint-hint, a double thank you to you! Finally, I want to give a big thank you to Lorilei for being such a great beta reader. Your sense of humor and ability to put up with me knows no bounds!