Thursday
After the first hour of reading and discussing various passages they found of use, they had already drunk nearly two glasses of wine each. Soon after a selection of food had arrived for them to tuck into. There were Italian meats, a variety of cheese, olives, pate, warm toasted bread and an assortment of different chutneys to enjoy. Hermione felt so full afterwards and so comfortable she had already kicked off her shoes and sunk back into the sofa with her legs tucked beneath her, knees pointing towards the blonde sat next to her. After the second hour had passed they had finished off the first bottle of wine.
"I've found something here." Draco said.
She lifted her head as he slid towards her, his body coming to a stop right next to hers, his thigh lightly touching her knee. She ignored the touch, distracted by the book in his hand. He pulled the book between them and she bent her head to look closely at the small faded text on the page.
"Renoviate. To replenish or regrow areas of affected ground due to animal or human degradation. That's perfect! See you didn't need my help after all."
She looked up at him and smiled not realising the close proximity of his face to hers until she was looking straight into his grey eyes. Her stomach lurched then and she slowly sunk back into the corner of the chair clutching her closed book in one hand and the nearly empty glass of wine in her other. He stared into her eyes right back. He closed the book in his left hand and moved his right onto the back of the sofa, fingers pointing towards her.
"I wouldn't have been able to get through all these books without you Granger."
"I didn't do much, I just read."
"But you're here helping. And that's above and beyond your job. I will be eternally grateful."
She shrugged her shoulders. She didn't know what to say.
"I mean it. Not many people would sacrifice their evenings to help someone else out. Especially me. And the people that do, I value."
"You value me or my skills in reading copious amounts of books?" She joked.
"You always did enjoy reading, I have obviously just preyed on your good nature." He cocked an eyebrow and smiled.
"I do enjoy reading. When I found out I who… what I was, all I wanted to do was learn everything I could so I didn't waste it."
"And have you learnt everything you wanted to?"
"Well not everything. But I try to learn something new every day. I feel like I've been given a gift."
"But it's isn't a gift Granger."
"What?" Her stomach fell. It wasn't a gift in his eyes. It was stolen. Stolen for the pure blood wizards. Mudblood flashed in front of her eyes and she was transported back to Hogwarts and the first time he ever called her that vile name. How stupid had she been to think he was any different now. She could feel the dull thud of her heartbeat in her ears and she felt like she was sinking. How had she been so foolish.
"It was always just there." He continued.
She moved her hand slowly towards her pocket where her wand was safely tucked away. She should have had it on her lap. He had made her feel so comfortable… he had lulled her into a false sense of security.
"I'm not explaining properly… What I mean is… it wasn't a gift from Merlin. It was just meant to be."
"I don't understand." Her hand stilled to rest on the pocket of her jeans.
"It's the wine. It's not making my thoughts coherent." He shook his head and pushed out a breath of air from his lungs. As his eyes met hers, he continued.
"You were born with it. It wasn't a gift someone bestowed upon you. You were just always meant to have it. Think about it. Think where we are now. If you weren't here. If you hadn't had been there for Potter. Everything could have been different."
"It wasn't just me… if… if a lot of things were different…"
"Maybe," He interrupted, "but it wasn't a gift you were given. You were supposed to be exactly the way you are. And I like you… just as you are." He lightly grazed her shoulder with his thumb. The rest of his hand did not move from the back of the sofa but the touch of his thumb on her jumper was unmistakeable and it made her fingers tingle.
"You didn't used to." She asked quickly. The words fell out of her mouth before she could stop them.
"I know." There was a long pause and a shake of his head before he continued.
"I was an idiot Granger. Back then it was more to do with me and my narrow mindedness. My pride not being to take that you were smarter than me. Had more friends than I did. Then I grew up and that stuff didn't matter to me. It was never about your blood status I just couldn't get over the fact you were better than me in so many ways. A better person."
At that moment she thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest it was beating so quickly. He didn't care about any of it.
"All I care about now is what you think of me."
His eyes were scanning her face, his remaining expressionless. Her eyes fell to the undone top buttons of his shirt, the soft crevice between his collar bones showing underneath and she had an urge to touch his skin. Her stomach lurched and her eyes snapped back to his, finding him watching her intently still.
"Tell me I'm right saying something's different. Like the past few days have given us a chance to start again."
She wanted to touch him. He was being so serious and the only thing she could think of were his lips on hers.
"I don't want to finish this week with you thinking I'm still that person." He finished, looking down at the space between them on the sofa.
"I don't." she managed. He breathed out slowly and a nodded.
"Okay then." He looked back up to her again.
"I can see how you've changed in so many ways." She felt his thumb move ever so slightly again next to her shoulder on the back of the sofa and she looked to his hand, his thumb retreating slightly, only a fraction of a movement and they were no longer touching.
They looked at each other for a few moments. She felt like she was seeing him with fresh eyes and a pang of guilt ran through her. She had to leave before she said something or did something she would regret. Before she did something and he had to let her down because why would he even entertain the idea. Before she did something she knew would upset Harry and Ron. Time had healed many wounds but she didn't know whether their indifference for the blonde would ever go away. What would they say if they knew she was lusting after this man?
"I should go." She said yet her body remained still.
"It's still early." He said with a muted expression, not taking his eyes from her.
"It's getting dark out." She stated.
"It's not dark yet." He challenged. A few strands of his fringe had fallen over his face and she was struggling with her decision. The fire burned in his eyes, flames dancing in the grey orbs. She didn't want to go. She wanted to kiss him and decided she needed to leave. Before she did.
"I really should go." She said again, this time urging her legs to move and stand up. She placed the glass on the table as he stood up in front of her. She held out the book for him and he reached out and took it from her, her hands seeming to remain on the book for a fraction of a second longer than needed. So many thoughts were swimming through her head as she slipped on her shoes and moved to find her bag and jacket. He seemed like her wanted her to stay but she didn't want to misconstrue his actions. The wine made her fuzzy.
He was resting his body on the back of the sofa, hands resting either side of him. He looked to her a few seconds after she turned around and he pushed himself off, walking past her towards the door. She followed closely behind him and thanked him when he held the door for her out into the darkened corridor. They walked silently side by side until they turned the corner down the second corridor with the large windows overlooking the grounds.
Hermione slowed to a halt looking out of the large window. She didn't mind that he had walked ahead of her, she just had to take in the setting sun over the forest in the distance. The sky was ablaze with a red-orange glow and it looked as though a halo was surrounding the far off trees. She hadn't seen a sunset like it before and she wanted to watch it until everything went dark.
.x
"Beautiful isn't it?" he whispered to her as she looked out on the sun setting over the grounds. He was so close to her his breath moved a piece of her hair by her ear. The alcohol he had consumed had lowered his inhibitions and he wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her neck but she didn't want to stay. She wanted to leave and he had to respect that. They had come so far in a few days. He didn't want to mess it up now.
"Are you ready?" She nodded, slowly turning her head to see him out of the corner of her eye. Her features were shadowed but he could see her lips were parted. She turned around fully and he stepped away from her turning towards the door at the end if the corridor.
He could hear her footsteps next to him but he didn't look towards her. If he did he was sure he wouldn't be able to control himself. He held open the door for her placing his hand on the small of her back as he guided her through to the main entrance hall.
.x.
He's a gentleman. He was just raised well. This is what he normally does this isn't any different… she kept repeating to herself like a mantra. He isn't interested in you. He placed his hand on the small of her back as she walked past him and her stomach flipped at his touch. She turned to look at him as she walked through the door.
"Is everything alright?" he asked.
She nodded. He was so attractive. How could he ever feel that way about her? It could never be anything more. He would never want anything more. No one would understand how she found him attractive. No one would get it. She was conflicted enough in her feelings for him, she didn't need anyone else telling her it was wrong too.
They reached the fireplace before she had even thought about walking. Her legs had taken her there of their own accord, unconsciously knowing it was best she leaves now, for her own sake. Tomorrow would be the last day she had to see him, then she would forget about these feelings. She would forget and they would carry on as they used to be. She grabbed the Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace. Turning to say a quick goodbye her heart felt like it sunk as she dropped the green powder. She wished she hadn't looked at him. It was written all over her face. She had probably given away everything that was running through her mind and he was looking at her with confusion. Confusion as to why she was acting so weird. As the flames engulfed her she held her breath she landed back in her living room with a thump onto the carpet.
She stood still for a few moments, letting the evening wash over her. Sat side by side, the comfortable silence when they read, the jokes. She really enjoyed herself and found she missed his company already. It was such a stark contrast to one week ago, ignoring each other as much as possible at the Ministry. Keeping interactions to a minimum.
Worst of all she was attracted to him and she couldn't deny it. She imagined him wrapping his arms around her waist as she looked out over the grounds of the manor. Him pulling her hair away from her neck and placing soft kisses behind her ear. Warmth pooled between her thighs as she thought about his strong arms, picking her up. Her wrapping her legs around his waist as he pushed her into the wall claiming her lips. A familiar smell lingered on her clothes and her skin. Mint and wine.
She lay in bed that night for what seemed like hours yet sleep would not take her. She found herself imagining doing more than just kissing the blonde. She could imagine. This was her own imagination. No one would know the dirty thoughts she was having about him or what he would do to her. It would be her little secret. A part of her kept hidden away from everyone else only to be visited on nights like this when she could not get him out of her mind. Self preservation after all. So she relished in them, wishing it was his fingers touching her and not her own.