Hey guys! I was running into some hardware issues with my laptop, and I managed to find a short-term fix that enabled me to post this chapter. You're welcome! ;P
While I was trying to figure out ways to deliver this chapter to you guys, I managed to finish Chapter 4. So, the next chapter should be posted fairly soon as long as I don't run into any more hardware issues. I start training for my first post-graduate job on Tuesday, so I'm not particularly sure when you guys will get a Chapter 5 unfortunately. I started on it, but I've hit a minor snag. Just a minor bout of Writers Block, which is strange because it's only been for this story.
I managed to churn out a brand new one-shot for another story in a completely different fandom. Go figure!
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Just remember it's all about world-building right now, unfortunately. Things are still slightly dull, but the action will definitely kick off in the next chapter.
I would really love to hear from you guys, so send me love!
In the midst of her attempting to consume every little thing she knew about her magic and Expression, she felt deeply disconnected from her friends.
It'd been a few days since she saw Elena, and she was curious to know how her best friend was faring.
Bonnie knew it couldn't be easy having to cope with becoming something different.
She went through the same thing with Caroline all those months ago, and she could only imagine what Elena was going through.
The two couldn't be more different, especially in regard to how they responded to their current undead lives. Caroline took to her vampirism like a fish to water, even reveling in the fact that she was somehow made better.
Elena, on the other hand, didn't do much planning for after. No, Elena wrongfully assumed that her death would be the quick fix-it everyone needed to solve the problems that befell her family and friends.
Unfortunately, things weren't necessarily that simple. It never was.
Elena didn't think about the alternative - becoming a vampire. The alternative never even crossed her mind. So naturally, she was traumatized by the concept of being this monster she never wanted to become.
What's done is done, and there was nothing they could do about it now.
Elena's death and subsequent transition into becoming one of the undead put many things into perspective. For Bonnie, Elena's death was the straw that broke the camel's back.
With Klaus forcing her hand with Tyler and his hybrids and Elena's death, Bonnie wondered when the hits would stop. There was always one hit after another, and they just kept coming.
Bonnie's life wasn't particularly the best before the supernatural came into her life, but she couldn't help but blame the Mikaelson clan for making her life even worse than it already was.
Ever since Elijah Mikaelson and his siblings forced their way into her life, things had gotten progressively worse. They couldn't just leave well enough alone, and now here they were proving to be a craw in Bonnie's side.
Their lives weren't particularly ideal when Stefan and Damon came to town, and her Grams died as a result of their presence in Mystic Falls. However, Stefan and Damon proved themselves to be rather useful when the time came.
Fortunately for Bonnie, her lessons with Professor Shane changed the way she viewed things now.
Learning to tap into her magical abilities from Luka and now Shane helped her view magic in a different light. Magic was all about harnessing the power of naturally occurring phenomenon and using them to your benefit.
Expression allowed her to do that and then some.
With everything having a purpose, she realized that the same went for people.
Being that the people around her never hesitated to use her when they wanted, she was slowly but surely realizing that she needed to look out for her own best interests.
She refused to continue living under the thumb of people who didn't care about her and her well-being. This is what her Grams talked about, but she didn't realize it until it was too late.
There was nothing wrong with learning and becoming more accustomed to her natural magical abilities. The issue stemmed from what she did with her gift.
Her Grams tried to teach her many things, but Bonnie wouldn't listen. That was something she would come to regret for the rest of her life.
Her magic was a beautiful thing, as long as she didn't allow anyone to take advantage of her and it.
Which is why she found herself knocking on Professor Shane's office door in the middle of the afternoon.
He'd given her a copy of his class schedule when he started mentoring her, and she found it rather useful whenever she needed more information on something she came across in her grimoire.
Opening the door, Bonnie was met with the haggard face of her new mentor.
Pushing past him to get into his office, she spoke, "What happened to you?"
"I haven't been getting any sleep. With your father calling for my head and the vampires in this town not necessarily appreciating our lessons together, it's been difficult to quiet my mind."
"Vampires? Which one?"
"The one with the ever-present smirk, brown hair, and thick British accent?"
"You're going to have to be a little more specific than that; I know lots of vampires who fit that description." Bonnie said with a small smile.
"The one who's rather fond of pea coats?"
"Kol."
"Is that his name? I didn't catch it; I was too busy trying to get away with my life." Shane replied gesturing towards the palm-shaped bruises littering the pale skin of his forearm.
Bonnie rolled her eyes at his words as she tried remembering the last time she'd even seen Kol. She sensed his presence throughout the day as she ran errands around town, but she hadn't laid eyes on him since that night at the grill.
She needed to figure out a better way of keeping tabs on him. She couldn't allow him to continue running amok around town. At least not while she was in the midst of tapping into the full extent of her powers.
She needed to concentrate on her magic, so she could get a better handle on it and she didn't need any distractions. Even without actually seeing him, he was still being a pain in her ass.
"So, what did he say?" Bonnie asked.
"Apparently, he's not a fan of our partnership and he told me to stay away from you."
Bonnie scoffed, "Really? Kol thinks he can dictate who my friends are. That's hilarious."
"Hilarious?! Bonnie, I don't think you quite grasp the gravity of the situation. An Original vampire wants me to stay far, far away from you!"
"He's harmless, and I'm sure you've been exposed to far more dangerous vampires than a vampire who walks around wearing pea coats." Bonnie said as she walked further into his office.
Shane simply stared at her incredulously.
"Don't worry about it. If he scares you that much, I'll take care of it." Bonnie replied with a sigh and a wave before plopping down in the chair in front of Shane's wooden desk.
"You'll .. you'll take care of it? What does that mean?" He questioned before quickly striding towards her.
Bonnie shrugged carelessly, "It means exactly what it sounds. I'll take care of it, so he won't bother you anymore."
Seemingly searching for something, Shane's eyes quickly shifted between both of Bonnie's. It was almost like he was trying to find the answer to all of life's questions.
Sighing to himself, he spoke, "Bonnie, I want to help you. I really do, but hearing you say things like that makes me worry about you."
"Worry? There's no need to worry. I have everything under control; I've been practicing on my own and I've even been keeping my nose in my grimoire. Well, technically, it was Grams' old grimoire but it does the job."
"I'm not worried about that. I worry that you're biting off more than you can chew with this."
"Why is that, Professor Shane? Hmm?" Bonnie questioned with a suspicious eyebrow raised. "Expression is harmless, right? What's there to worry about unless there's something you haven't told me yet?"
"What? Of course not!" Shane defensively exclaimed. "Expression just pulls on what's already buried inside of you. It just helps pull your natural strengths forth, so you're able to bend the magic to your will. So if there's a darkness inside you, it will take advantage of it and express it in the same way."
"The last time I was here - you talked about meditation and how I could use it to my advantage to harness the magic." Bonnie replied changing the subject.
"Right." Shane hesitantly replied as he looked at her suspiciously. "Meditation helps calm your mind and your body in a safe way. It centers you, and you need to be able to center yourself whenever you begin digging deep enough to unlock the fullest extent of your magical abilities."
"The calm is what helps me stay focused and keeps my emotions from controlling me, which could affect the way I express my magic, right?"
"Exactly! When your emotions are all over the place, you can easily lose control of Expression and things can go horribly wrong."
"If it's so easy to lose control of this type of magic in the first place, what's the point of learning it?"
"Oh, Bonnie. There's a whole wealth of knowledge at your fingertips, just from being a witch alone. You have natural abilities that most people would kill to have." Shane explained. "Learning Expression is just about unlocking the full potential of your own magic but in a non-traditional way."
"You've given me that spiel a dozen times now. What does any of this have to do with Silas?"
"Silas plans on raising the dead. Isn't that enough for you to want to help things along? I know you would love to see your grandmother again."
"Is that it though? What's in it for you? I help raise Silas, and he brings my Grams back. What about you? Why are you so dedicated to the cause?" Bonnie rudely questioned.
She knew there was something else he was hiding, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She knew there was some truth to what her father said about Shane taking her for a ride, but she needed more proof.
She and her father didn't quite see eye to eye, but he still cared enough to not want to see her get hurt. Or worse.
"My wife is dead. I'm a simple man who wants to see his wife again. That's all." Shane calmly stated as he folded his arms across his chest.
"And what's in it for him? Why is he so hell-bent on coming back in the first place?" Bonnie asked.
"I don't know why vampires do what they do, Bonnie. I just feel like there's no point in looking a gift horse in the mouth." Shane vaguely replied.
"Okay, I'm ready to get back to the meditation segment of my lessons now." Bonnie finally stated after a few minutes of silence realizing he was never going to give her a definite answer.
She knew that wasn't the whole story, and she was determined to chase down the truth. She hoped, for Shane's sake, that he told her the truth before she figured things out on her own.
Once that happened, there would be no more need for one Professor Atticus Shane.
She didn't want to kill him; she just needed to get him out of the way.
She hated even entertaining the thought of such a thing, because it wasn't her. She saved people, not hurt them. But she'd quickly learn the hard way that people don't often treat you the same way you treat them.
Unlike Bonnie, most people ran more on the selfish side of things and tended to only look out for themselves. Shane was no different in the grand scheme of things.
He was an okay guy, but he was just like the rest of them - trying to control her and use her for his own personal gain.
The thought of Shane preying on her innocence and inexperience filled her with an unusual pang of sadness, which soon turned into resentment.
It was in that moment that Bonnie vowed to learn more about Shane's motives and Expression on her own. No more would she allow someone to control her through her own ignorance and naivete.