Monster
-:-
Highschool!
This is the point where a young hatchling of human being starts truly playing the game called LIFE. Highschool marks the end of the tutorial and the start of the campaign with a sudden spike in difficulty to boot. From here on out, the level 1 character is forced into the harsh world of social standings, academic torture and peer pressure. This is where the rare ore that is called a Child undergoes pain and suffering that will mold him/her to what he/she could become.
Highschool Romance Comedy is defined by 2 things: Ecchi events and Misunderstandings. These two are the life blood of any crazy love story that involves adolescent youth, hormones and a little bit of insanity.
In this eroge called LIFE, everyone is the main character of their own story. However, it has no load function, no walkthroughs and it's only one playthrough, so please choose carefully.
Shiro is no exemption to this.
Shiro is actually unluckily lucky... Or is it luckily unlucky. It's hard to put it in words but Shiro has the Devil's Luck.
For some unknown reason,Shiro has the knack of seeing/doing something that he should not be seeing/doing. For example, he just happens to walk into a room where a girl just happens to be in the process of changing clothes. Another one is accidentally tripping into one of his female classmates and ends up kissing her in the process.
On a serious note, there is one time that he saw something that not only he, but pretty much nearly everyone in existence, was not meant to see. As far as he could tell, there are only 3 people excluding himself that has some sort of relation to that something. One is a yamato nadeshiko that can kill anyone and anything with a mere fruit knife. Another is the all to infamous Miss Blue. The last one is Zelretch whom, if Shiro's guess is right, screwed up somewhere during the overwriting process.
Serious note OVER!
As of the moment, Shiro is experiencing one of those random highschool romcom events that may or may not lead him into a path of misery.
Shiro has been standing in front of his shoe locker for a good 2 minutes now. He looks at his she locker and sighs deeply.
"... This cant be real..."
Shiro slowly opens his shoe locker for the 8th time and spots something that should not be there. Elegantly stuck between his indoor shoes are 2 envelopes, one is a standard sized, purple colored envelope while the other one is a traditional white envelope.
"... Is this some sort of sick joke? ..."
For the 8th time in the last 2 minutes, Shiro closes his shoe locker without doing anything.
Humans, or any living thing in general, have always been flatfooted when faced with a sudden change. To a person who has lived in the shadows, the very sight of a potential love letter is downright mind boggling.
As Shiro ponders at the mysteries of highschool life, the 2 stooges arrives in the scene.
"What the hell is taking you so long Shiro?" said Zayd as he violently pats Shiro on the shoulder. "If you take any longer, your sister might-"
"HAKEN SABER!" Shiro lets loose a a full power karate chop at Zayd's defenseless neck.
"TODLICHE STRAFE!" Displaying uncanny insight, David follows suite with a powerful body blow.
Zayd crumbles on the floor under the might of the 2 hit combo.
"I've warned you before you pedophile... Any form of malicious intent on my sister is punishable by DEATH!" Shiro roars with conviction.
Zayd withers on the floor in agony. "While I do deserve that, there is something I would like to ask."
"Speak maggot." Shiro replied coldly
Zayd points at David. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIT ME TOO?! "
David looks surprised, as if he had no idea of what he just did.
"... Ah... Sorry about that. My body moved on reflex." replied David.
"YOU CRUEL BASTARD!"
"Moving on-" said David
"Dont ignore me you bastard!" complained the sidelined pedophile.
"- Why did you take so long Shiro?" asked David.
Shiro makes a difficult face. After a few seconds of silence, he decides to talk.
"I have something to show you 2, but promise me that you 2 will keep your calm." said Shiro. "Do I have your word?"
Noticing the sudden change in atmosphere, David and the newly revived Zayd nods silently.
"Good." Shiro beacons them closer to his shoe locker.
The 3 carefully opens Shiro's locker and spots the 2 letters residing within. After staring at it for a couple of seconds, they slowly close the door once again.
"Any opinions?" asked Shiro.
The 3 descends into a brief silence.
"Maybe the girls put it into the wrong shoe locker?" suggested David
"Good theory" replied Zayd
"I thought so" Shiro agreed.
To the non popular population, the very idea of receiving a love letter is as probable as pigs ruling the world.
"It could also be a trap. Those popular kids do this kind of pranks all the time" Zayd adds.
David and Shiro nods with agreement.
"Either way, we wont know until we find out who sent it." David reaches out for the locker, but his hand gets swatted by Shiro.
"Are you freaking insane?! This situation is not within our scope of abilities!" said Shiro "We dont just touch stuff we have no knowledge of!"
"T-then what the hell are we suppose to do?" asked the confused David
"We need someone with extensive experience of the subject matter. What we need is-" Shiro suddenly notices the very person that he needed passed by behind him.
Without a second thought, he quickly grabs the said person by the shoulders.
"Arthur! I need your hel-"
Before Shiro could complete his sentence, 12 swords were suddenly position barely an inch away from his neck.
"Crap. The other Knights of the Round Table are here? Talk about bad luck."
The Knights of the Round Table is a group of 13 SABERS that are known for their godlike skills with a sword. This group includes 3rd year Arthur (wields the strongest sword based NP), 4th year Lancelot (accepted as the greatest SABER amongst all year levels in terms of martial skills alone) and the invincible 4th year Gawain (#1 rank amongst all students in the highschool division)
"Calm down everyone!" Arthur quickly "It's just Emiya Shiro"
12 pairs of questioning eyes stares at Arthur.
""And?"" asked the 12 SABERS
"Arthur, this is a pervert. A scum in human form. Surely the world will not notice it's disappearance" said a knight that Shiro recognizes as Lancelot
"While I cant deny that fact-" said Arthur
"Oi! That's cruel you know?!"
"- This one fought and bested me in fair combat. He is now a friend of mine, irregardless of his questionable interest" Arthur finishes, not knowing that he has just dealt a fair bit of psychological damage to the one he's trying to save.
"... *sigh* suite yourself" Lancelot sheath's his sword. The rest followed suite. "But remember your rule Arthur. None of us must taint the honor of the round table. You, the maker of the rule, are no exemption"
"Dont worry about it. On my knights honor, I shall bring no disgrace to our round table." replied Arthur with all seriousness.
With that said, the 12 knights goes ahead of their leader.
Arthur lets out a sigh, then turns to Shiro. "Sorry about that. They may look intimidating but they mean no harm"
"Yeah... Those big pointy swords sure looked like they are normally used for friendship purposes." replied Shiro.
"Ha ha ha..." Arthur laughs dryly. "By the way, what did you need my help for? Aside from perverted scenarios, I am confident that I could lend you a hand."
"Good to know." Shiro beckons Arthur to the locker and reveals its content. "I would like your expert opinion on this situation"
Arthur stares at Shiro for a couple of seconds, then answers in uncertainty. "Er... Congratulations?"
The 3 stooges gives up a round of applause, further confusing the knight.
"As expected of an expert." said David. "The sight of love letters must be a daily thing to him."
"You really did pick the right person. Bravo Shiro Bravo." Zayd pats Shiro on the back
"Indeed. I am awesome." Shiro turns serious. "But enough bragging. I need your expert council Arthur."
"... Hmm... Well, for starters, have you read them yet?" asked Arthur
The 3 looked at him at shock at awe
"Seriously?! Just like that?" Shiro asks
"I told you we should have read them first!" said David
"To think we failed even the most basic step... shameful." manly tears flow from Zayd's eyes.
Shiro takes out the envelopes as instructed. With shaking hands, he turns over the violet envelope and silently reads the letter sender. A second later, he makes the legendary EXCALIBUR FACE (Google It!)
"H-hey... What's with the reaction..." asked the worried Zayd.
With great contempt, Shiro reads what is written on the envelope.
"To Emiya Shiro... From Morgan Le Fay"
.
.
.
.
EXCALIBUR FACE x4
Out of the 5 present, 4 made the face of pure disgust. Truth be told, Shiro never thought Arthur had it in him to make such a face. +1 respect.
2nd Year Morgan Le Fay is the prime example of why so many people hate the nobles in general. Despite her 5 star outer beauty, she displays sadistic pleasure in controlling others. Many times has she lured an innocent youth into her palm and made said youth dance her tune. Once done, she discards said youth without mercy.
While there are some masochistic people who openly expresses their desire to be her slave, the general population does their best to have little or no connection to her.
"W-well... I guess I dont really need to explain why you should avoid my half sister right?" said Arthur.
"""Yeah...""" replied the 3 stooges in unison.
"... So... What am I suppose to do with this?" asked Shiro as he waves the purple envelope.
"Throw it away..." said Arthur emotionlessly
"Isn't that a bit mea-"
"Throw it away!"
"But common sense dictates tha-"
"THROW IT AWAY!"
"We sho-"
"THROW! IT! AWAY!" Arthur grabs Shiro by the collar. "For your own good. Ignore it. Throw it away."
"... And what if she gets pissed off?" asked Shiro.
"In this situation, violence is the only answer." Arthur said with an evil glimmer in his eye. "It's easier to skewer her with a sword than solving it peacefully, right?"
"""... Good point...""" said the trio
As instructed, Shiro gives the letter to the white haired girl beside him, who then deposits the purple envelope in the nearest trash bin.
"Now that we got that out of the way, lets see what the other one says." said Zayd
Shiro examines the white envelope and finds an unfamiliar name written on it.
"To Emiya Shiro... From Fujin Akiko?" Shiro looks at the others in confusion. "Anyone familiar with this one?"
"... Hmm... I heard of her before" said Arthur. "She's 2nd year I think, but was held back a year due to various reasons. Not sure what they are."
"Well then, allow me to enlighten you guys" Zayd steps forward and takes out his legendary Book of Bishoujos
The Book of Bishoujos contains nearly every info of every female being in the school. It contains their 3 sizes, likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. How Zayd came to the possession of such treasure trove of knowledge is a mystery, but one thing is for sure, the info is worth more than an arm and a leg.
"Fujin Akiko AKA Aki-hime/Aki/Aki-sama, etc... She belongs to one of the 2 Oni clans in the city, the other one being Raijin." said Zayd. "Those Oni families are always in the BEAST class due to their metamorphosis ability. Due to those inhuman abilities, they have to be trained to control those inhuman urges to slaughter everyone in sight, hence the 2 year absence."
The 4 stares at Zayd with awe.
"Where the hell did you get all that stuff?" asked Shiro
"Internet... DUH" replied Zayd, clearly has no intention of revealing his source. "In regards to this matter, my ears have not received any bad news about Fujin Akiko aside from her fairly bloodthirsty bloodline. I dont see any reason for you to ignore her."
Shiro pauses for a moment of silence. He then turns to Arthur.
"Any additional opinions?"
"I think Mr. Hassan is correct on this one" replied Arthur. "Being held back a year is probably the only blemish in her otherwise flawless repertoire. I say go ahead and see her."
Shiro nods in agreement.
"No way I cant ignore the words of 2 pros. I'll read the contents of the letter later." said Shiro. "Thank you for attending these proceedings Arthur."
"No problem. Give me a call if you need help" replied Arthur.
Before they could proceed with their highschool life, David stops them.
"Guys, I've been wondering for a while now... But who the hell is this girl?"said David as he points at the loli right next to Shiro.
The silver haired, silver eyed girl is petite in stature with pale white skin. The most distinct feature of the silver haired loli is the confusing aura of innocence and danger that she radiates. And as expected of Tsukumihara student, she dons the brown sailor uniform. All in all, she matches Zayd's preference perfectly... and naturally, Shiro's as well.
"Someone you know?" Shiro asks Arthur.
"I actually assumed that you were acquainted, seeing how she's standing beside you." Arthur replies.
"hmm... Touche..." Shiro turns to Zayd. "I'm pretty sure you have some idea who this girl."
"Ofcourse I do. No loli can escape my loli radar" Zayd replied. "That little girl has stalked you for 3 years now."
"Eh?" A fair bit of goose bumps travels up Shiro's spine.
He looks at the silver haired loli whom stared back at him with an emotionless face. Without a doubt, she is a loli of the same caliber as Debi, but something about her bothered Shiro... Maybe it's the 3 years worth of stalking?
As if taking it as a signal, the silver haired loli introduces herself with a curtsy.
"I am 1st year Jacqueline D. Ripper, Jack for short. Nice to finally talk to you, Shiro Oni-sama"
Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama Oni-sama
Shiro and Zayd were blown away.
"Emotionless overly formal little sister moe... Fearsome... Truly fearsome" Shiro leans on the shoe locker for support
"Weapons grade loli moe! I never knew anyone aside from Debi-chan to have such destructive force!" Zayd roars as he shakily gets back to his feet.
"Shiro Oni-sama, are you alright?" Jack slips beneath Shiro's arm and uses her shoulder to steady the shaking Shiro.
However, before Shiro could even enjoy Jack's ice cold loli goodness, someone pulls him violently from behind. He sinks into a plump mass of flesh that nearly suffocates him to death.
"Mine" said a familiar voice to whom the breasts belong to.
It was Amu that lovingly forced Shiro into her chest. At the same time, she has her signature revolver trained at the loli assassin.
"When did she get here?!"
In response, Jack takes her knife and assumes a posture of an animal ready to pounce on her prey.
"I have been with him longer, he is mine" said Jack in a monotone voice
"Irrelevant." Amu replied with an equally monotone voice.
It's seriously weird how so much emotion is being transmitted between 2 women with an emotional quotient of a brick.
"Man... These knockers are truly the most perfect set of front bumpers in existence!" thought Shiro as he fully enjoys Amu's seductive breasts
And as expected of the big boobed enthusiast, David wasnt going to let this scene slide.
"Shiro you bas-" David is cut off when a rubber bullet strikes him right in the nuts.
"Silence." said Amu as she returns her aim to Jack.
The two silently stares each other down with every intention of violence... But before they could even do that, the very worst person for this situation, walks in.
"Emiya Shiro. What is the meaning of this?" said a tall priest in a soft yet very very terrifying voice. His voice is so terrifying that everyone, with no exemption, stood at attention and did not dare move a muscle. "I asked you a question Emiya Shiro. I do assume that your ears are more than just decorations, correct? Now answer"
"It's nothing Sir Boniface. Just kids messing around" replied Shiro to the tall priest.
The priest named Boniface surveyed the surroundings.
"Is that true?" he asks all those who were present, and received multiple nods from the students. "Tch... How boring... Very well, carry on"
With that said, Boniface leaves the premises. Everyone can finally breath
"*pheeeeeeew* That guy is bad for my heart" said David
""""Amen."""" replied everyone.
Introducing Boniface Pope VII, the schools guidance councilor and the person no one wants to be in the same room with. To everyone in this world, he is a councilor that would literary rip every fiber of your soul with just his words.
To those of his previous world, Pope Boniface VII is a roman catholic leader who murdered his way to power. Once in power, he murdered many for the sake of riches and greater wealth. All in all, he is definitely evil.
However, to Shiro and Shiro only, this monstrosity is the equivalent of Kotomine Kirei.
"Wether it's this world or the next, Kirei remains to be my most unpleasant acquaintance." Thought Shiro as he and the others heads in. "What a crappy way to start the day."
-:-
Before Shiro could even notice, it was already lunch time.
Normally, he would eat lunch in the mess hall along with Zayd, David, Amu and Hera. Today however, he is currently making a bee line to the Tea Ceremony Club with Jack and Amu flanking him.
Well, truth be told, the girls are actually using Shiro as a shield from the very imposing priest that was walking in front of them
"... Father Boniface... Why the hell are you here?" Shiro asked with no fear of exposing his distrust to the priest.
"To observe you ofcourse" replied Boniface with his usual calm
"Why?"
"Because you're a pervert." Boniface stops in front of the Tea Ceremony Club. "It is only natural for me to make sure that you do nothing stupid to my charge."
"Your charge? What the hell are you talking about"
"I see your common sense is still lacking." Boniface sighs exaggeratedly. "It means that the daughter of the Fujin is under my supervision until she graduates from Highschool. I have to make sure that you do nothing stupid to her. Though I wish you would. That would make her fly into a violent rage and destroy everything in sight. Atleast that would alleviate my boredom for a few hours"
The 3 highschool students stare at the priest in silence
"... Er... You know that you said the last part out loud right?" Shiro asks
Boniface looks at Shiro in mild (extreeeeeeeeeeeeeamly mild) shock. "What ever do you mean child?"
"You know... The part where the Fujin kid flies into a violent rage?"
SILENCE
"... The lack of food seems to have impaired your brain" Boniface replied. " I am a guidance councilor of this school. I would never wish for the students to endure hardship"
"Tch... Typical Kotomine Kirei archetype. Cant even say Good Morning without lying twice" Shiro massages his forehead in annoyance.
"Anyway, I doubt these two will let me do anything stupid" Shiro points to the 2 girls hiding behind him. "They'll probably gut me like a pig without hesitation."
"I doubt it. Those two are already putty in your hands."
"Silence" Said Amu with a little more force in her voice than usual
"Amu is right Father" Jack added. "That statement is totally unnecessary."
Suddenly, Boniface throws them a death glare that even the devil himself would cower in fear. "Can you repeat that?"
""...nothing..."" the two quickly hid themselves behind Shiro
"I thought so." Boniface said triumphantly
Mind you, Shiro can more or less tell the level of emotion the 2 girls has for him, however, an harem eroge protagonist must always have that certain level of stupidity in order to remain as his to-be harem's target of affection.
Now, at this point in time you're probably wondering where Zayd and David is.
Truth be told, the girls insisted that they are more suited as Shiro's escorts this time around than the 2 stooges. Naturally, the 2 stooges thought of the contrary which led into a bit of an argument.
A few minutes later, Jack somehow convinced Zayd to give up his post. Feel free to interpret in any way you want.
On the other hand, Amu replaced David by shooting him in the nuts a couple of times. Sometimes violence is truly the only answer.
Back to the topic at hand.
The 3 students follow Boniface into the Tea Ceremony Club. As expected, the room oozed with tati mats, flower arrangement and a kimono clad bishoujo.
If Amu is a Yamato Nadeshiko by looks alone, the kimono clad bishoujo is the personification of the ideal Japanese beauty. She dons a short black hair and gentle sky blue eyes. She is about one head shorter than Shiro with a fairly slim body, which matches perfectly with her pure white kimono. All in all, the kimono bishoujo is every bit superior to Amu when pulling off the traditional Japanese beauty look.
"~Ara ara. Father Boniface, how rare of you to visit me." said the kind, kimono clad beauty. "Would you like some tea?"
"I'm just here bring the one that will collar you, Fujin Akiko. I would prefer if you stop making me do these pointless errands. I have more important things to do" replied Boniface, clearly not hiding his displeasure.
"My apologies" the girl named Fujin Akiko bows low
With a Hmph, Boniface leaves the room.
"Thank you for coming Emiya Shiro and... Company? ... Truth be told, I was expecting 2 male students to be accompanying you." said Fujin Akiko with a gentle voice.
"It's a long story" replied Shiro. "Anyway, lets get down to business."
"~Ara Ara? I did not expect you to realize so quickly that my message was not a love letter" Fujin Akiko takes a seat on the tati mat floor. She beckons Shiro to take the seat in front of her.
Shiro does as instructed while Jack and Amu sits behind him.
"So it really wasnt a love letter... That'll teach me to hope for the impossible..." Shiro drops his shoulders in slight depression. "Let's make this quick Fujin Akiko. Toying with a innocent man's heart makes said man increasingly pissed off."
"fu fu fu~ My apologies."Akiko chuckles."But then again, what we are about to discuss might have more significance than a mere love letter."
"Ho... Now that got me interested" said Shiro.
Clearly there's a story that makes highschool problems seem worthlessly trivial. Apparently, Jack and Amu also came to the same conclusion, thus placing their undivided attention on Akiko.
Akiko clears her throat. "Ahem... First, are you familiar with the name Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg?"
The room temperature suddenly drops. Amu, Jack and Akiko shifts in their seats uncomfortably as massive amounts of killing intent surges from Shiro. An understandable reaction considering that Shiro's normal persona is that of a light hearted otaku.
At this moment, what sits among them is a sword who has gone through many battles, slaughtered legions of enemies and destroyed countless lives.
"Choose your next words carefully Akiko..." said Shiro in a serious voice that he rarely ever uses. "Zelretch's name is attached to fair bit of connotations. Most of them will get you killed."
Even the calm Akiko was barely able to keep her cool. Without saying a word, she pushes an fairly old looking envelope to Shiro. He takes it and reads its contents.
Emiya Shiro
I sort of owe the Fujin Clan a favor. I needed their help when we had to fuse your souls together. Just do one thing for them and all debts are paid. I leave it to your hands.
Zelretch
Shiro summons Kanshou and stabs the letter.
"Damn you Zelretch! It was your plan to send me into this world! Why the hell am I suppose to pay for it?!"
Shiro sighs. Whatever tension he had earlier vanished into thin air.
"Hey Fujin Akiko. Do you have any idea what's written in this letter?" asked Shiro in a relax manner
"N-no. I was given this letter by my father many years ago and was instructed not to read it. In addition, I was to give it to an Emiya Shiro if I ever meet him" Akiko replied calmly. "Oh, and please call me Akiko. Using my full name is too formal."
"*sigh* I see... Well, whatever. Lets get down to business. Why did you call me here?"
"Ahem... Do you know about the Oni Clans?"
"Yeah, we just found out about it this morning."
"Very Good. This will make things easier. Now this might be a bit lengthy but please listen."
The Oni race, though peaceful for most part, becomes increasingly volatile when they reach the age where their body are ready to mate (normally starts between 15-19). This frustration is collective with other forms of stress such as sexual, emotional, psychological, etc. ,thus is easily removed by blowing off steam which can be in any form of stress relieving activity, but more often than not, in the form of combat.
For male oni's whom are naturally born to be competitive, this blood rage comes frequently, thus they regularly hold no holds barrel matches as a remedy. 2 violent battles a month is the standard norm to keep their blood rage in check.
On the other hand, female oni's tend to be much more violent than their male counter parts. Though their blood rage arent as frequent, they normally build up stress so much faster, often leading to outbursts of violence even if their schedule day is still far off. This unpredictability has caused collateral damage in the past.
To counter this, the oni women performs a ritual called a Collaring which completely seals up any manifestation of the blood rage, thus preventing the oni women on going into a random rampage. Unfortunately, it only bottles up the unused blood rage until the seal breaks from the pressure.
Just to add gasoline to the fire, Oni's belong to the BEAST and the BERSERKER classes where rage does nothing but make him/her stronger. Imagine, years worth of rage released in one instant. Scary.
If anything, Collaring makes the problem worse.
But Collaring is necessary due to one side effect. If ever the one who has the seal is beaten in combat, the seal binds the oni woman to her opponent. This grant the oni woman complete immunity to rage build up. To the oni woman, this is the equivalent to marriage so it's important to chose their dance partner wisely.
After Akiko's explanation, Shiro face palms hard. He isnt one of those naive eroge protagonist who'll help a person in need without a thought of the consequences. He can already see the ending... and its stress inducing.
"While I already know the answer to my question, I just have to ask." said Shiro."What do you want from me?"
"~fu fu fu. Be my dance partner" said Akiko with a calm smile.
"... And if I refuse?"
"Zelretch told father that you owe us too much. You have no right to refuse."
"And your fine with that? You know what happens when I beat you right?"
"Naturally I am a bit hesitant of the entire affair..." Akiko sighs. "... But then again, my parents have done well in brainwashing me through out the years."
"They WHAT?!"
"~Ara ara. It seems I phrased that wrongly." Akiko giggles. "Since my youth, my father has continuously bragged that he has found a suitor for me. This suitor has the strength of a god yet is gentle as the cool summer breeze. Naturally, my young maiden's heart cant help but be intrigued by such ballant romanticization."
"Hmm... I see... Parental brainwashing aside, you do understand the whole enslave thing right?"
Without changing her ever calm face, Akiko sighs in slight annoyance. " I must say I fail to see your reluctance in this issue."
"Oy. Im worried that Im breaking the anti-slavery law here!"
"~Fu fu fu. Perish the thought Emiya Shiro. I, Fujin Akiko, am a complete package. I am a devoted sister, a trained maid, a loving wife, a nurturing mother and a luscious toy at your convenience." replied Akiko with a kind yet impish smile. "But more importantly, once you take your seat as a RULER, I am a powerful BERSERKER that will dismember your enemies."
That statement made Shiro's eyebrow twitch. Behind him, the 2 ladies also found this statement of great interest
"I suggest you dont get your hopes up Akiko. There is no guarantee that I'll be even chosen as a Ruler" replied Shiro
RULER is not a class like ARCHER or SABER. It is a designation that this person has enough power, wether physical or influential, to command heroes of high caliber. This designation is only allowed after careful deliberation and study of the teaching staff. More often than not, those who are Rulers are instantly catapulted to the limelight, weather they want to or not.
"~fu fu fu. Come now Emiya Shiro, we are both educated individuals here. After your Class Assignment and that incident at the Mooncell Cultural Exchange, do you seriously think that the teaching staff has any excuse not to make you a Ruler?"
With no way to counter that statement, Shiro remains silent.
Akiko takes out a stack of letters and pushes it towards Shiro.
"Emiya Shiro, tomorrow at our weekend break, please come to the location stated on that letter. Your friends are welcome as long as they have a letter in their possession, so please distribute it when you have time." said Akiko. "And lastly, prepare yourself for our dance will be a dirty one."
-:-
THE NEXT DAY
Shiro has been long been accustomed to his new world's random bits of absurdity... Oh how wrong he is.
His group, comprising of Zayd, David, Jack and Amu, arrived in the designated location where a limousine and a bunch of yakuza looking people waited for them. From there on, they drove about 30 minutes until they reached a large Japanese mansion near the edge of the city.
The mansion itself was exactly what you expect from a filthy rich household.
20 meter tall, 10 meter thick, seemingly endless walls? Check
Unnecessarily large garden? Check
Legions of ugly yakuza looking thugs? Check
A large number of kimono clad maids? Check
And of course, to welcome their arrival is the white kimono clad Fujin Akiko.
~Good day everyone and welcome to the Fujin residence." Akiko elegantly bows low.
Shiro's group remains silent as they take in the absurd richness in front of them.
"... Rich" said Amu
"Filthy Rich..." Jack follows
"Filthy Stinking Rich..." said Zayd
"Disturbingly Filthy Stinking Rich..." said David
"... Sorry, I'm out of ideas on what to say" said Shiro
"Tch... Killjoy" replied David
"~Ahem. I understand that you all must be tired from your travels, but we must hurry to the combat room." said Akiko as she beacons them to follower her. "We are short on time."
The confused group follows Akiko through the maze like corridors of the Fujin residence until they reached a mission control looking room. Before entering, the spot a western styled maid with green looking hair who was carrying a tray of tea.
While the rest of Shiro's group has no idea who it is, Shiro instantly knew the familiar face.
"Enkidu? Is that you?" asked Shiro.
"Emiya Shiro! Its good to see you again" replied the maid named Enkidu. "How long has it been?"
" 5 years? 6 maybe? Not really sure."
"Acquaintance?"Amu asked. While it doesnt show in her face, Amu's aura reeks of murderous jealousy. Apparently, Shiro's sudden increase of female acquaintances has been causing her a fair bit of head ache.
Naturally, Jack, Zayd and David are also interested.
"Alow me to introduce to you Enkidu Aruru, a college student in our school. He used to live near my house until they moved into the big city." Said Shiro. "It was because your father landed a high paying job right?"
"Well yeah. " Enkidu replied with a sheepish smile. "The Uruk family hired Papa as a chef and Mama as a maid. I just went with the flow and ended up being a maid as well"
"Heh... You still have sick cross dressing fetish huh?"
"Why not? You have to admit, I do look good in it." Enkidu twirls in place without even spilling a single drop of tea.
"... You damn Trap..."
"Hold on! Shiro, let me get this clear. That bishoujo maid is a guy?!" David asked in confusion.
"*sigh*... Yes... Enkidu is of the male gender just like you and me." Shiro replied, causing David to collapse on all fours. "I understand your pain man... I really do..."
Enkidu cant help but laugh at the scene.
"Pfwahahaha! Now that I think about it, didnt you confessed your undying love to me Shiro?" Enkidu clutches his side in laughter
Shiro leans on a nearby wall and begins to cry.
"Stop opening my past trauma's! I beg you!" Shiro sobs. "It's your fault that the Trap fetish was added into my preferences!"
Enkidu approaches Shiro then seductively whispers in his ear. "Like I said in the past, I dont mind being your girlfriend."
Shiro smashes his face into the wall repeatedly.
"MAKE IT STOOOOOP!"
While Enkidu was enjoying his time torturing the poor confused soul, Shiro was suddenly hit with a realization
"Hold on... If Enkidu is here, then that means..."
As if the world loved screwing Shiro over, the worst possible person exist the mission control room at the very worst possible moment.
"Enkidu, where is my tea?" said the girl with the drill twin tail hairstyle.
"Oh crap..."
With a black and gold designer outfit, Gilgamesh Uruk stands arrogantly in front of them.
It's as if Shiro and Gil were destined for each other. The moment their eyes met, the feelings they kept hidden deep inside gushed out like a broken damn.
In a heart beat, Gil takes action. Two swords begins to exit the Gate of Babylon but it never got out as 2 spears smashes into them, resulting in an explosion.
With a battleaxe in hand, Shiro takes the small opening and rushes the still disoriented Gil . By the time the poor girl could see through the smoke, Shiro's battleaxe was barely an inch of the girls face.
Unfortunately, he was stopped in his tracks when silver chains dragged him away from his target.
"Thats enough you two." said Enkidu as he dragged Shiro away from Gil. "Normally I dont mind a bit of a tussle myself, but I'd like to remind you that there is no active GW boundary field at the moment. What if you kill someone?"
Gil suddenly steps forward and opens the Gate of Babylon even further. Atleast 50 weapons are aimed at the defenseless Shiro.
"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT ENKIDU!" Gil roared as she raised her hand.
Before Gil could launch her attack, endless number of chains bind Gil and all of her weapons to the floor.
"Enkidu?! What treachery is this?!" Gil tries to force herself from the binds but to no avail. "You think you can get away with this?! I'll tell fath-"
"Did you not hear me Gil-chan?" said Enkidu with a very scary face. "I said that was enough... Or would you actually dare to oppose me? Would you like me to punish you again?"
"N-no! Ofcourse not! I was just playing around! I ment no harm!" Gil shivers in fear
Just by looking at her eyes, you could tell that the golden girl was terrified beyond her wits.
"Is that true? You really ment no harm?"
"Y-yes! Its true! I promise! Ask the fake- I mean, Emiya Shiro! He'll vouch for me!"
"You bastard! Dont push this on me!"
Enkidu slowly turns around and looks at Shiro.
"Good freaking lord all mighty! That face is freaking scary!"
Not only Shiro, but everyone present flinched in fright.
"Just to be clear Emiya Shiro, I want you to choose your next words VERY CAREFULLY. They might be your last." Enkidu pulls Shiro closer until their face are barely inches from each other. "Do you really have no intention of harming Gil?"
"scaryscaryscaryscaryscaryscaryscaryscaryscaryscary "
"OFCOURSE NOT! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER HARM SUCH A BISHOUJO!" Shiro desperately screamed.
Enkidu silently stares a Shiro for a couple of seconds, then releases him.
"I see. Then lets head in and have some tea." Enkidu twirls around and heads into the mission control room.
"Traps... They are truly something to look out for..."
-:-
From the looks of things, Fujin Akiko was truly short on time. Without a rest, Shiro was shoved into the dressing room and was pressured to change into his combat armor as fast as possible. He then was dragged into the arena where the white kimono clad bishoujo was waiting.
The Arena is a perfect replica of Tsukumihara Academy which actually works for Shiro's favor. Due to his mastery of the terrain, Shiro knows exactly where to go on a given situation. From a tight corridor to funnel his enemies to a confusing maze for his escape route, he knows it all.
"~Fu fu fu. Please do forgive our staff for being a little rough. We truly are pressed for time" Akiko said in an elegant manner.
Shiro didnt need to exert much effort to figure out why they were in such a rush.
"I'm guessing your seal is at its breaking point?" asked Shiro.
"~Ara Ara. I love a man who's quick on the uptake." Akiko pulls up her right sleave and shows a bracelet that has cracks on it. "This is suppose to last about 10 more minutes, but I prefer not to risk harming my guests."
"Ho... I see. Better safe than sorry huh?"
"Correct. Well then, before we begin, do you have any questions?"
"Yeah, actually I do." replied Shiro. "Why is Gilgamesh Uruk here?"
"Well, the Fujin and Raijin Oni clans have a long standing relationship with the Uruk family. Apparently, the 3 families goes all the way back to The 3 Rulers War. I heard that my ancestor fought side by side with the Living God of Swords. "
"So Gil is your childhood friend of sorts."
"Correct."
Suddenly, Akiko's bracelet began spewing smoke as if it was burning.
"Ah... See what I mean Emiya Shiro? One can never predict what whims Fate will take" Akiko said with a face of resignation. "Well then, we may have less than 2 minutes left so listen carefully. I'll give you tips on how to beat me."
Oni in general are normally give abnormal physical strength so Shiro can expect that every hit will either be crippling or lethal.
The main difference between the Fujin and Raijin Onis lies in their speed and endurance.
Raijin Onis are so tough that they can eat unrealistic amounts of damage before falling. Unlike Hera Claes' ability to nullify damage, Raijin Onis relies on their incredibly high regeneration to soak up bullets like a dead cow. On other hand, their speed is reduced to pitiful extent, thus turning them into punching bags.
Fujin Onis are incredibly fast to the point that they can chase most ASSASSINS down. This speed comes in the expense of their physical endurance. Aside from their fists, Fujin Onis are as fragile as ARCHERS or ASSASSINS. A single clean hit is usually enough to cripple them good.
"The Raijin info was kind of unnecessary you know?" said Shiro. "Since Im fighting a Fujin here, half of your provided info is normally enough."
"~fu fu fu. Trust me when I say this but sometime in the near future, you will be forced to confront the Raijin." replied Akiko causing Shiro to sigh in annoyance.
"Let me guess... It's because I've collared you, right?"
The bracelet breaks and massive amounts of power gushes out. Akiko's delicate hands hardened into a gauntlet of black and red. The sclera of her eye turned from white to black. Her round blue eyes were replaced with sharp golden eyes of a beast. And for the piece de resistance, a pair of blood red horns grew from her forehead.
Akiko's calm and gentle smile widened into a crazed, yandere-ish grin. She lowers her body like a predator preparing to lunge at her pray.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I JUST LOVE A MAN THAT'S QUICK ON THE UPTAKE!"
Akiko pounces.
The battle begins.
-:-
Barely 5 minutes passes since the start of the battle but the amount of damage to the replica of their school quickly escalates.
The second the battle started, Shiro quickly moved into the school building where there are tons of obstacles. He knew he made the right decision, seeing how the mentally impaired Akiko lacked the motor function to navigate through the debris.
At the moment, Shiro and Akiko are fighting within the home economics room. Shiro takes cover behind one of the concrete mock kitchen, then quickly moves to the next. A second later, his original hiding spot is blown apart with one of Akiko's violent straight punches
"STOP MOVING AND DIE ALREADY!" roared Akiko in frustration.
On the other hand, Shiro calmly observes his opponent from behind another mock kitchen.
"This is the last one huh... Better get ready."
He traces Kansho and Bakuya then runs for dear life as Akiko hammers the concrete into the ground.
"HAHAHAHA! NO MORE HIDING LITTLE RAT!"
True enough, Shiro no longer has any cover to protect him from Akiko's wrecking ball punches. But then again, that wasnt the reason why he went to the home ec room in the first place.
After confirming the smell of poop in the air, Shiro jumps out the room and at the same time, slamming kansho and bakuya together. Sparks fly, and a barely a second later, the entire home ec room explodes into a massive fireball.
"Gotta love methane gas" thought Shiro as blots away
Mind you, Shiro knows oh to well that the fire will do no damage to Akiko, but it will buy him a couple of prescious seconds he needs to get to where he needs to go.
"EMIYA SHIROOOOOOOOO!" a wild roar shakes the building.
Akiko exists the fire with a large concrete block at hand. She searches for Shiro for a couple of seconds, and upon spotting him, she hurls the concrete block at bullet speed.
Shiro turns and smacks the block away, only to find Akiko barely a few feet behind it.
"HOLY CRA-!"
Shiro barely shields himself from the incoming punch, unfortunately due to the sheer force of the blow, his twin swords shatter and he is blown 10 meters back.
He desperately regains his stance, summons his twin swords and begins his painful defensive battle. His enemy gives no time to rest as she rains bone crushing blow after bone crushing blow.
"20 meters! Just 20 more freaking meters!"
Shiro dodges as if his eroge collection depended on it. Whenever he parries a blow, his weapon shatters even if it wasnt hit squarely.
"This one is just too much!"
Shiro is starting to understand why the Fujin women must choose their dance partners carefully. It's not because they'll be spending their entire life with that person, but because there's probably not much people who can take their fury and win.
"No choice then!"
I am the bone of my sword...
Shiro summons a massive fan and blows Akiko back 20 meters. As he expected, this didnt even buy him a second of rest. Akiko closes the distance in a heart beat and resumes her onslaught.
Steel is my body and fire is my blood...
In desperate attempt to buy time, Shiro summons the black sword Durandal on one hand and the bronze Sword of Troy on the other. Since they are practically the same sword, Shiro is banking on their durability to pull him through.
Shiro's slow retreat while mindfully conscious of his surrounding. They entered the tight corridor with about 10 meters thick concrete on either side.
"Almost there..."
Shiro continued his slow retreat until they reached half way of the corridor.
"NOW!"
He loads his two swords with dangerously high amounts of mana, then swings them at Akiko's incoming fist, resulting in a fairly strong explosion which blew them away. Shiro was near the end of the corridor while Akiko ended up back where she came.
Naturally, Akiko shortened the distance in an instant, however...
"Got you now!"
I have created over a thousand blades...
The moment Akiko entered the thin corridor, Shiro slammed his fists into the walls causing hundreds of blades to sprout, effectively turning the corridor into a gigantic Iron Maiden.
"Phew... Finally... Its ove-"
Just when Shiro started his celebration, a violent hurricane gushes out from the corridor. In the middle of it was Akiko, and upon closer inspection, her pure white kimono is the one producing the hurricane winds. The hurricane forms a globe of protection around Akiko and grinds anything that approaches her to dust.
"Kamikaze: The Bag of the Howling Winds... You actually made me use my NP... NOT BAD!"
"That looks bad..."
Before Shiro could defend himself, Akiko roared.
"STRIKE AIR!"
Shiro is blasted off his feet, thrown around like a rag doll for 50 painful meters, and slammed violently into a wall. He drops to the floor and stays down for a bit.
"urgh... Man... While being thrown around broke a couple of bones, it was the initial blast of air that hurt like hell!"
The initial blast felt as he was hit by a fully loaded Dump Truck. If it wasnt for the holy shroud that he constantly wears, most of his intestines would be mashed potatoes by now. Though he survived the blow, his body was in a horrible state.
From the looks of it, Akiko is aware of this as well. With a smug expression not befitting her traditional beauty, Akiko ever so slowly walks towards Shiro.
"What's the matter boy? Surely you've got more tricks up your sleaves right?"
"*sigh*... What a pain... I'm getting paid enough for this... Oh wait... I'm not getting paid at all!... Seriously... What a pain..."
Using what little undamaged body parts he had left, he pulls himself into a sitting position with his back on the wall.
"What? Giving up already? What a let down..." said Akiko who was still a fair ways away.
This opponent is someone Shiro cant take down with his low tier abilities. That much he's sure. However, if he steps it up a notch, he'll be forced to experience that horrible sensation of loosing his humanity. This is the main reason why he's really reluctant on using UBW.
"Then again, I do own the Fujins a fair bit... I guess I've got no choice but to do it..."
Unaware of loss, Nor aware of gain...
Shiro hears a familiar sound.
The sound of steel grating against steel.
This is the sound of UBW replacing and reinforcing his broken body with swords.
Then he felt it. The uncomfortable feeling of blades completely changing the anatomical structure of his body.
In barely just a couple of seconds, Emiya Shiro no longer looked like himself. Its as if God decided to create man using swords instead of clay.
It was disturbing.
It was disgusting.
But more importantly, it reeked of overwhelming power. Even Akiko was forced to a stop upon sensing the abnormality in front of her.
Emiya Shiro is no longer an ARCHER.
Emiya Shiro is now a MONSTER
"Fujin Akiko... try not to die "
-:-