Rising from the Ashes of Ascension
Chapter 30
Disclaimer: As much as I might wish, I do not own Stargate: SG1, Highlander: the Series, or any recognizable characters from either show. If I did, I wouldn't be working in the public schools system. However, any characters that are not from either show are mine and I will use and abuse them as I see fit. Everyone else will be returned eventually, for I am only borrowing for awhile, but they might end up a bit scuffed.
Warnings: Potty language, violence, and occasional sexual references
They made it to Kansas City in approximately twelve hours. They would have arrived sooner, but they had to stop at the world's largest atomic cannon and the world's largest prairie dog. Also, there was a tiny incident at the prairie dog site.
They arrived in Oakley, Kansas and were quickly directed to Prairie Dog Town where they each paid eight dollars. They oohhed and aahhed (and gagged a little) over the five and six-legged cows; looked upon the rattlesnake pit and all of its occupants with disgust. The mini-pigs were deemed cute and they met Roscoe the miniature donkey.
However, when they stepped behind the giant fence made out of wooden posts and sheets of plywood they were greeted by something that none of them had anticipated.
They were confronted by a fifteen foot tall, four-ton concrete prairie dog (with a baby concrete prairie dog by its side).
The owner of Prairie Dog Town was accompanying the group, giving them a personal tour since they were the only visitors at the time. He laughed at the looks on everyone's faces, especially Teal'c's.
Teal'c, not finding the sight amusing turned his patented glare upon the beefy man. "Where I am from, merchants who peddle lies are dealt with in the harshest manner possible," he growled, looking menacing.
"Look buddy, as the old adage goes: There's a sucker born every minute and I'm there to take advantage of that fact. If it makes you feel any better, you not only got to see my giant prairie dog, but you got to experience my zoo of unusual animals. That alone is worth the price of admission. You know what, I'll even give you one of my magnets for free," the owner chuckled, clearly amused by Teal'c's rancor.
Teal'c glared even more, but before he could even think about ritualistically throttling the man, the others cajoled Teal'c into leaving the man alone. Jack even went as far as promising Teal'c that he could pick the movies for the next team movie night.
Finally, they were back on the road and approximately five hours later they had arrived in Kansas City, Missouri, home of: bar-be-que, the Royals, and a mislaid Goa'uld.
They were staying at the Hyatt in Crown Center, a shopping and financial center located approximately half way between downtown and the museum that housed their missing snakehead.
As they were getting their room keys, Teal'c abruptly asked the man behind the desk if the hotel met current building codes and that there would not be a repeat of the July 17, 1981 tragedy.
The man blanched slightly and mentioned something about how the interior had been redone and that everything was in perfect order.
Finally, when the papers had been signed and everyone had received their keys Jack asked Teal'c what that had been all about.
"In the summer of 1981, during a tea dance, several levels of walkways, over-crowded with people, collapsed upon the dancers below. The failure of the walkways was attributed to design flaws and cutting corners in construction. Many people died or were injured in this tragedy," Teal'c intoned solemnly.
"T, how do you know such odd and obscure facts?" Jack asked, looking at his friend oddly.
"The History Channel has a series about disasters. They profiled the Hyatt collapse," he replied. "I wished to make certain that such a tragedy does not befall us on our quest to procure the errant statuary in the local repository of art. If we were to become caught in a preventable accident, our mission will be compromised."
"You worry too much Teal'c," Jack grumbled and herded his team through the lobby, trying his best to not look up (though Teal'c's explanation of a collapse did help explain the presence of the ugly and heavy pillars supporting very plain and simple walkway in such an elegant place).
They went up to the ninth floor where their rooms were located. While Sam got her own room, Jack and Daniel became roommates, while Methos and Teal'c also were forced to bunk together. Everyone got cleaned up and dressed for dinner. Amanda, who had gotten into town a few days before, had gotten hold of Daniel earlier, gave him her room number.
As a group they went up two floors to room 1137, where Daniel and Methos felt the familiar sensation of an Immortal's presence wash over them.
Immediately the door was thrown open revealing Amanda, looking stunning as usual. Her hair, bleached out this time to an impossible-in-nature white. Her dress, a slinky, short black dress help up by two tiny straps, hugged every curve of her body, leaving little to the imagination.
"Dah-lings," Amada crooned, stepping forward to kiss Daniel and Methos on the cheek. "Come in everyone so we can get to know each other." She then took their hands and led them into the room.
Daniel and Methos exchanged exasperated looks and followed their old friend into the room, with Jack, Sam, and Teal'c bringing up the rear.
Inside, they were ushered into the sitting area that was separated from the sleeping area by an oversized desk. The room was decorated in soft blues and grays, accented by warm woodwork on the furniture and marble that eerily reminded everyone of the temple back on Kali's world.
"So, you must be Jack," Amanda turned her charms on the Colonel, adopting a foreign, cultured accent. "Daniel and Adam never told me that they worked with someone so distinguished and handsome."
Daniel made retching gestures behind her back while Methos rolled his eyes.
"I, uh, I," Jack stuttered as Amanda extended her hand, expecting him to kiss it, Old World style. Ever conscious that Sam was also present, he shook it awkwardly.
Amanda, not one to ever give up on pursuing a man, smiled at the mortal seductively, purposefully ignoring the other female in the room, "Really Colonel," she crooned, taking his arm and leading him over to one of the couches, "we need to get to know each other if we are to be working together on this mysterious heist. We should have dinner together, some wine, and maybe compare notes?"
"So Amanda, how's Nick doing?" Methos asked, widely smiling.
"Nick? Who's Nick," Sam asked, her blue eyes narrowed. She couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy. Despite the fact that she was currently seeing Pete and the tiny fact that there could never be something between her and her commanding officer, she didn't like how this gorgeous, forever-young woman was throwing herself at Jack. It irritated her.
"Nick is her boyfriend back in Paris," Daniel said smugly. "So Amanda spare us the drama and cut the crap."
"Fine," Amanda grumbled, dropping the fake accent, switching back to her normal one that seemed to originate from somewhere in Arkansas. "It's not like I was meaning anything. You two have no sense of humor."
"I do too have a sense of humor. It's not my fault that most cultures find it to be abnormal and inappropriate," Methos cheerfully, smiling widely.
"That's right. Your sense of humor allows only you to find humor in the idea of a depressed suicidal clown. Anyway, I'm hungry and Daniel, you promised to take care of my expenses. And right now, my number one expense is food. I've made reservations for the six of us at Skies. It's a bit provincial, but it will do for now," Amanda announced.
"Fine," Daniel said smartly. "And once you are done spending my money, at some point we'll be able to talk about the museum?"
"Oh Darling, you of so little faith, I've already scouted the place and managed to score a set of plans to the building, along with all of the security procedures and protocols," the female Immortal said, smiling serenely.
"How? You've been in town how long?" Sam blurted out.
Amanda gave the other woman a brilliant smile. "Dear, do not underestimate my skills in the area of breaking and entering, along with my ability to charm the pants off just about anyone. Except for Daniel of course. For the longest time I honestly thought he was gay."
"Why does everyone think I'm gay?" Daniel protested.
"Well, you know. Sometimes you're, you know," Jack said, hedging with his words, rolling his hands around in the air to help him somehow find the right words.
"Fussy," Methos offered, being ever so helpful and charming.
"Old Man, you can bite me. You too Jack," Daniel said snottily, and then turned back towards Amanda. "Thank you so much. The only reason I have been able to resist your charms is the fact that my charm is so much stronger than yours. Also, I'm a bit wiser than most of your marks and the fact that you've slept with MacLeod is a bit of a turn off."
"Are you still mad about what happened back in Paris all those years ago? I am sure that Mac hasn't even given you a thought since then," she replied.
"Oh, I am sure he's totally forgiven me for killing his friend back in the day because he doesn't carry grudges across the centuries. In fact I know for certain that in his Watcher files, he's known as MacLeod the Forgiver," Daniel snarked.
"Whatever," Amanda sighed. "Our reservations are in an hour. In the meantime, this hotel has a semi-decent bar, if you can call a sports bar a decent bar. The least you can do is buy me a drink while we wait." With that, Amanda gathered her purse and slipped her room key-card inside it and ushered everyone out and down to the bar.
"Did I just hear the words sports bar?" Jack asked.
"I could use a drink myself," Methos added.
Teal'c gave him a raised eyebrow kind of look. "You managed to down a miniature bottle of whiskey and two containers of beer within the first twenty minutes that we were present in the room. How could it be that you need a drink now after all that you have previously consumed?'
"Not everyone can satisfy themselves by simply stealing all of the complementary soaps and shampoos. I need alcohol. You obviously are the type that needs vanilla-citrus scented soaps, shower caps, and shoe mitts," Methos replied.
The group went downstairs and enjoyed their drinks, alcoholic and non-alcoholic alike. Dinner afterwards was also enjoyable; the food delectable.
However, they did miss the people watching them throughout the night; those pesky people with the weird tattoo on their wrists, and malevolent thoughts in their heads.
They were being smart about it, breaking up into pairs, three teams total. One was near the bar, sitting at a near-by table; one at the restaurant, also near the group; and the third currently breaking into Jack and Daniel's room, being careful not to leave any sign that they has violated their personal space.
The renegade Watchers did miss Jack's small tell that someone had been in the room: a broken toothpick shoved into the of the door jam on the outside. While they weren't in immediate danger from Goa'uld, Replicators, or other sundry enemies that SG1 had managed to gather in the past seven years, Jack's paranoia couldn't be squelched.
A/N: Well, what do you think? Crap or not? Hit the shiny review button and let me know what you think. Please?
I am sorry that this is so late. My reasons are: 1) work has sucked my will to write/live out of my body (I am currently praying that I win the lottery so I can tell everyone to kiss my rear at this point and quit); 2) massive writers block. I don't know what happened, I just couldn't write anything – even writing IEPs has become a massive drag for me. Thank you to Lorilei for her prompting and "ordering" me to use my snow day to finish this chapter. Also, thank you very much for the brainstorming and help you gave me with the details.
I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but hopefully the next chapter will make up for it. I am currently working on it and am planning on it to be a bit snappier and jazzier – without jazz hands though.
Seriously, thank you for reading and if you feel inclined, drop me a review (suggestions for the next chapter – I think the gang will be committing B&E by then – are always appreciated. Colonel Pinky – this means you too my fellow KC citizen).