Rising from the Ashes of Ascension
Chapter 31
Disclaimer: As much as I might wish, I do not own Stargate: SG1, Highlander: the Series, or any recognizable characters from either show. If I did, I wouldn't be working in the public schools system. However, any characters that are not from either show are mine and I will use and abuse them as I see fit. Everyone else will be returned eventually, for I am only borrowing for awhile, but they might end up a bit scuffed.
Warnings: Potty language, violence, and occasional sexual references
"Well, this is a pretty kettle of fish we seem to find ourselves in," Jack grumbled as he sat there on the hard floor of the museum.
"It appears O'Neill that we are up an excrement stream in a semi-permeable Native American waterway transportation device without a proper propulsion device," Teal'c added, showing his displeasure and his keen wit.
Jack snorted and looked over at Amanda, checking to see if she was any closer to freeing herself from her zip-ties (the Hunters were smart enough to know that something as simple as metal handcuffs were enough to keep the master thief down) after having been shot. Nope.
"Hey Daniel," he then called out in a whisper, trying to not draw any more unwanted attention from their captors.
"Yes Jack?" his Immortal best friend replied in a low voice from his spot in the corner closest to Jack and Teal'c, recovered nicely after also being shot.
"You remember when you told us that this would be easy and not to worry?"
Daniel sighed, hating himself for inadvertently cursing his team. "Yes Jack."
"When this is over, I'm going to beat the living shit out of you," the colonel hissed at his teammate.
"Thanks for the warning," Daniel muttered, sitting back, trying to get comfortable with his hands tightly secured by the plastic handcuffs. He thought back to how this particular chain of events had started and hated himself and the trio of renegade Watcher assholes that were plotting his and everyone's demise.
It had started out fine and dandy actually. It was weird how the best of plans and intentions could go down the tubes so quickly and land them up a shit-creek from hell.
~SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1~
The team, plus Methos and Amanda, spent the better part of the night going over the plans of the museum that Amanda somehow produced. When Jack started to ask how she managed to obtain the plans that included detailed information about the security system, Daniel cut him off, reminding him that sometimes certain details were best left unsaid.
Amanda, for her part, glared at her old friend, disappointed that she couldn't regale the others with a wildly spun tale about shimming her way through ventilation ducts in a skin tight outfit, lowering herself above the file cabinet where the plans were stored, avoiding laser sensors, and leaving a minimum-wage guard forever in love with her despite her fickle ways. In reality, all it took was a visit to the planning commission department at city hall to get the floor plans and a well-place bribe, through a trusted go-between, with an IT worker (the man apparently had racked up a small debt though on-line poker) at the company that provided security for the museum. The truth was not as exciting as the story she could come up with, but was denied telling it by stick-in-the-mud Daniel.
She wondered about Daniel and what he really was up to these days. Once upon a time he would have enjoyed hearing her bullshit tales, laughing at them even when he knew they were completely false. These days, however he was more disciplined, focused, possessing more of a military mind-set than before. If one looked solely at the fact that he worked for the U.S. Air Force, it would seem natural that he would take on a more militaristic persona. However, it made no sense to her why he, along with other members of the U.S. military and Methos would want to steal a work of art. Didn't the military have more than enough things to occupy its personnel's time, she wondered silently, like a war or two?
In the meantime, luck was somewhat on their side. A wedding reception was to be held at the museum, held in the courtyard in two days on Saturday night. This would give the group an easier opportunity to invade the building. Entering though a side entrance would be preferred to scaling the building, entering though a skylight, rappelling down, and knocking out security guards while pretending they were something out of Ocean's Eleven.
~SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1~
The group spent the day shopping for proper wedding clothes for Jack, who was experiencing hell on Earth. They had gone to a near-by upscale store, Halls, to find him a proper suit.
After looking at the price tags for the clothing and nearly having a heart attack, Jack tried his damnedest to get out of the role of playing Amanda's date. Unfortunately the group would not let him back out of the gig.
"Fine, but Daniel better start pulling out his wallet and pay for this! There is no way a colonel, even with hazard pay, can afford anything here," Jack demanded.
"Yes Daniel dear put a crowbar to your wallet," Amanda sang, holding up a sleeveless red matte dress that ended several inches above the knee, but was far from looking cheap and whore-ish.
Sam took a quick peek at the tags and saw that the Michael Kors dress was well over a thousand dollars. A part of her, the girl-ish part that she kept hidden from just about everyone at the SGC was massively envious that Amanda got to have a beautiful, sexy dress and wear it somewhere and she didn't. Hell, she was even more jealous over the fact that it was the Colonel that Amanda was going out with on their "date." However, it would be a cold day in hell before she would ever admit it out loud.
Jack in the meantime had been taken back into a dressing room and treated like someone's personal Ken doll, being forced to try on several suits before finally deciding on a black Versace two-button suit, with a white dress shirt and a black and silver tie. When he had the complete outfit on, with a belt and shoes, he showed it to the group, noticing the tiny smile that blossomed on Sam's face.
"You clean up nicely Sir," was all that Sam said, but it was enough for Jack.
When everything had been tallied up, including a pair of black Manolo Blahnik strappy high heels and a matching evening bag, the bill came to nearly four thousand dollars. Luckily, Daniel did have more money stashed away than many small countries and in a pinch so did Adam.
After their mad shopping blowout, the group went to a nearby restaurant. A majority of the group indicated that they would have preferred that they go to the restaurant that was partially made out of a streetcar, aptly named A Streetcar Named Desire. However, a noisy contingent demanded loudly that they instead head up to the second floor and go to the Crayola Café.
Guess which group Jack and Teal'c were a part of.
After lunch, they temporarily lost Jack. Teal'c, using his years of honed Jaffa tracking skills, was able to find their wayward Colonel in the Crayola store next to the Cafe.
"O'Neill," Teal'c rumbled, his mighty presence causing several children to freeze and watch the large man apprehensively.
"T?"
"DanielJackson and the others wish to depart post-haste and your transom perusal is preventing us from completing our mission in a timely manner."
"But I found this one hundred and fifty count telescoping tower that Cassie would love," Jack protested, turning the product over in his hands, no doubt to count the number of crayons to make sure he wasn't being cheated.
"CassandraFraiser is a teenager and would not appreciate such a present. No doubt you are claiming that you would buy it for her, but in reality it is something you would get for yourself. Now, either purchase the item or I will personally remove you from the store like a temperamental four year old," Teal'c simply stated, his eyebrow cocked in such a manner to let O'Neill know that he was not kidding.
Jack grumbled softly to himself and went to pay for his item under Teal'c's watchful eye. Once the purchase was complete, all the while Jack plotting to turn in his paperwork written in crayon just to stick it to the man, the two men rejoined the group and made plans for their next move.
They decided to go over to the museum and check out the place, so that way all of them would be familiar with the layout of the place in case anything unexpected happened; not that they expected anything to happen. But still…
~SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1~
The group split up; Jack, Carter, and Amanda forming one group, while Daniel, Teal'c, and Methos went off on their own.
As they walked away, the others overheard Methos asking the others "would you rather be known as a member of the Scooby gang or a Goonie?"
Teal'c ever the consumer of pop culture replied, "Goonies never say die and the Scoobies were nymphomaniac potheads. This is not a matter that will take deep thought to decide upon."
Daniel scrubbed at his eyes, already feeling a headache forming.
~SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1~
They wandered around, taking in the extensive medieval painting collection, the center panel of Monet's Water Lilies, and modern art collection. Eventually the two groups made their way upstairs to the second floor where the elusive statue rested.
Amanda, Jack, and Sam were standing in the room, pretending to examine the other works of art when Amanda felt her old friends' powerful Quickening signatures rush over her, announcing their near-by presence.
"Hey," Daniel greeted everyone. "See anything that would look nice on your wall Amanda?"
"Plenty darling," the female immortal replied. "I've always wanted a Pissaro or a Manet. I have this lovely spot over my sofa that would be just perfect."
"You're hilarious," Daniel said his voice just filled with sunshine and sarcasm. "So, we get the layout of the place? Any problems you see?"
"Just one," Jack said, rolling his eyes.
Daniel looked at the infamous thief expectantly.
Amanda smiled sweetly and pointed at an empty podium where a certain statue once sat.
Daniel, Teal'c, and Methos did a double take.
"Damn," Methos swore quietly and quickly read the tiny card that announced that the statue had been taken off display.
"What did they do with it?" Sam asked, looking worried at the possibility that a Goa'uld was on the loose.
"It's probably in storage," Daniel whispered. "Sam, when we get back to the hotel, I need you to hack into their system and see what the museum has done with it. If we are lucky it's in some storage room here in the museum and not in an off-site warehouse. If it's still on the property, then our plan is still on, with just a few modifications. If it's somewhere else, then we'll have to regroup and rethink this."
They continued to look around the museum a bit longer, taking in security features; doors, guards, docents, seismographs, and cameras received extra attention.
Daniel and Methos also noted three men, never too far away, but far away enough to not draw too much attention, but appeared to be following them none-the-less. They exchanged weary looks. Neither of them could get a good look at their wrists which were conveniently covered up with watches or turned inwards.
A/N: Well, what do you think? Crap or not? Hit the shiny review button and let me know what you think.
First off, I am so sorry that this took so long to get posted. Real life kicked me pretty hard, threw up on me, and beat me with a two-by-four for awhile and forced me to readjust and reprioritize things in my life. I then got caught up and swallowed by state alternative testing for my students – i.e. lots of paperwork and headaches that left me exhausted and unable to have a single coherent thought in my head. Finally, I experienced a horrible case of writer's block. Anyway, I hope you will forgive me and thank you for coming back and reading my stuff. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.
Thank you to Lorilei for all of your help and suggestions. Without you and your suggestions, ideas, and prodding I wouldn't have been able to do this. You are the best!