Chapter 10
The Library of Forbidden Knowledge
-:-
5 DAYS AFTER THE INTERSCHOOL GRAIL WAR COMPETITION
MOONCELL CITY
A WAREHOUSE SOMEWHERE IN THE DOCKS DRISTRICT
8:00 AM
What is Summer?
This question has been raised the past by the wisest (self-proclaimed) modern sages, and the number of answers varied as the stars in the clear summer night sky.
The most common and most unimaginative answer is about the climate. Summer is often associated with the season when the heat is at its peak. Depending on its location in the world, citizens of a certain place might find the summer heat as inhumanely unbearable.
And because of the sudden spike of temperature, the second answer associated Summer with the divine sanctuary where the most beautiful of flowers bloom: The Beach… or The Pool depending on which is more convenient to the person.
The flowers of summer, aka women, shed their protective clothing and reveal to the world their innate beauty.
With nothing more than a swimsuit, which was only one step from full nudity, the flowers of summer flaunt what was normally left unseen. Basking in the heat of the summer sun, frolicking in the cool blue waters like water nymphs of old, a woman's most basic and most powerful weapon is on display for the world to see.
Such scenes have prompted the male race to create tents in their pants since the beginning of time.
This leads to the next answer associated with Summer: The Stairs of Adulthood!
With the most scrumptious of meals in full display, how in god's name would the hungry predators not partake in the feast?
The Stairs of Adulthood was not for everyone to climb.
Only the most cunning, the bravest and the luckiest of predators are blessed with the opportunity to find an Avalon for their Excalibur.
The carnal and foolish desires of youth are what made Summer the greatest battlefield of Love!
But as stated earlier, The Stairs of Adulthood was not accessible to all.
It was a stairway that only one can pass. At the top, there are extremely few seats to occupy before the feast could begin.
To those predators of summer flowers, the battle below the stairs was the fiercest and bloodiest of wars. Even if someone does climb the stairs, many would try to either pull you back or throw you off just to get ahead.
And thus, we arrived to a certain warehouse in the docks district.
The warehouse itself was normally used as storage for meat products and other livestock goods, thus despite the summer heat, the interior's temperature could be adjusted to freezing point.
However, this was not the case for the current situation.
The warehouse was rented out by a group of shady individuals who all wore dark violet robes with cone shape masks. This made it impossible for anyone to discern their identity or gender.
This was a dark gathering for those who were too terrified to brave the summer battlefield or were beaten badly in the war for love.
There were hundreds of these cloaked figures and they all have silently gathered in front of a single elevated platform.
After a few minutes, a lanky teenage male climbed the stage and stood gallantly in front of the hooded figures. Unlike the rest, this teenager wore nothing but his white underwear with no shame what so ever.
He grabbed a microphone, and with the charisma of a spiritual leader, he said…
"Eros is Love! Eros is LIFE!"
""EROS IS LOVE! EROS IS LIFE! EROS IS LOVE! EROS IS LIFE! EROS IS LOVE! EROS IS LIFE!""
The warehouse shook with the combined voice of hundreds of people who were borderline religious fanatics.
With the wave of his mighty hand, the spiritual leader silenced his followers.
"For those who have been here before, Welcome Back My Comrades in Arms! For those who are new to our order, I am the Priest of Eros, the IMMORTAL VIRGIN! And I welcome you all to the CULT OF EROS!"
""EROS! EROS! EROS! EROS! EROS! EROS! EROS!""
Once again, the hooded figures chanted with the fierceness of a pent up girlfriendless man who was watching his favorite porno. And just for the record… a lot of the hooded figures were probably in that stage
"Though we name ourselves as a Cult, we do not partake in such vulgar activities such as sacrificing goats to the goat god or dancing naked under the moonlight like those truly sick cults out there. We are a scientific and logical group that study of the true meaning of beauty!"
"""EROS IS LOVE! EROS IS LIFE! EROS IS LOVE! EROS IS LIFE!"""
"But remember comrades that our path to enlightenment is filled with pain and dangers. Many fear that our words that carry the truth could spread. Even now, a sinister group is plotting our downfall. Their leader is none other than the person who once threatened to destroy the GOB's branch of Tsukumihara Academy! He is Adonis!"
A picture of the Adonis was projected into the wall behind the Immortal Virgin.
Not a second later, Kanshou and Bakuya was hurled into Adonis' image.
"Eat that you scum! Handsome guys like you should just explode!" roared Cult member number 696969
The flood gates broke as the other members of the Cult expressed their deep hatred by throwing whatever they had on hand at the image. Rotten tomatoes, weapons, stinky shoes and even the kitchen sink smashed into the wall.
A few seconds later, the Immortal Virgin spoked with the voice of God to calm his flock
"That's enough my comrades! I understand the pain and suffering that you are experiencing. But remember! We are martyrs that follow the peaceful path of Ero! We may be beaten, we may be scorned. But we will never stray from our path! ERO IS LOVE! ERO IS LIFE!"
"""ERO IS LOVE ERO IS LIFE! ERO IS LOVE ERO IS LIFE!"""
The crowd chanted as their hearts resonated with the Immortal Virgin's irresistible charisma.
With one wave of the Immortal Virgin's powerful hand, the crowd was silenced in an instant. The excitement filled the air, for the Cult of Ero's meeting was finally about to begin.
"Without further ado, let is begin The Cult of Ero's Offering to the Gods! Bring in the first sacrifice!"
One of the many violet hooded figure rose to the platform and placed an cheap looking silver spoon on top of a white altar. An enlarge image was shown on a large monitor beside the platform. Based on the fake golden engravings on it, the spoon was made by a decent artisan despite its low quality materials.
"I am Number 10551 but is commonly known by name BlondLover1883. I offer up to the gods a spoon that our fair lady Joan Arc accidentally lost. This spoon was a gift from her beloved father before she misplaced it 2 weeks ago"
"Do you have any supporting documents?"
Asked the Immortal Virgin
Every item that was to be offered to the gods has to be authentic. Those who presented their items often spare no expense of investigating and authenticating said items.
Any fool who would dare offer up a fake would meet a fate so much worse than death.
BlondLover1883 knew this well and presented the proof to the Immortal Virgin.
"DNA test results, Private Eye investigation and even a picture of the blond goddess herself using the spoon."
"Hmmm…. The documents are from the Hassan I Sabbah Private Eye, thus their legitimacy is all but assured. Now then….. LET THE BIDDING BEGIN!"
The entire Hassan I Sabbah lineage has always been professional stalke-…. Observers! Yes! They are observers! Not stalkers, but observers!
Their skills are at the point where most people would pay large amounts of cash for their services. Their information is 100% accurate and their investigations are done in the most discrete way possible.
And because of this level of authenticity, the entire cult went into a bidding frenzy.
"100!"
"200!"
"250!"
"275!"
It may laughable for just a simple spoon, but to these unfortunate men, such things were the closest they could get to their beloved.
The cult member JoanArcIsMyWaifu was a prime example of this.
"1000!"
Said JoanArcIsMyWaifu with a voice that commanded authority.
Everyone was silent for a few seconds before accepting defeat.
"He he… as expected of JoanArcIsMyWaifu"
"He's just too strong when it comes to Joan Arc."
"I'll concede for now…. Next time, I will not lose!"
The winner, JoanArcIsMyWaifu, went up the platform to receive his prize. He then whispered to the spoon in a soft voice that no one could hear.
"Fufufufu….. I will stain you with my colors later… *breathing heavily* …. My precious… *breathing heavily*"
And so, the festivities continued on with more questionable items being offered up to the gods.
The item that was sold for the highest price was Astolfo's misplaced underwear. Apparently, Astolfo always brought multiple sets underwear to school because she has a bad habit of misplacing them. For some reason, she always brought male oriented underwear (boxers and briefs) but it was a particular trait was a moe charm point.
By the way, Astolfo's underwear sold for 455000 after an extremely fierce bidding war. It was so intense that it nearly descended into an all-out brawl. However, it was stopped by the Immortal Virgins overwhelming charisma.
By the way, for some reason, Astolfo never brought a bra with her.
Well, she does have a flat chest, so a bra would be useless.
Never the less, the idea that she goes bra-less was a major turn on.
(A reminder to the readers: Just in case you have forgotten, Astolfo is a GUY. People of this world simply doesn't, and will never, accept this fact.)
And so, the festival of darkness continued, forever unknown to the world.
-:-
8-12 CONVINIENCE STORE
LUNCH TIME
3 hooded figures entered the convenience store.
Normally, the staff would have called police at the sight of such suspicious individuals, however, this wasn't the first time for this particular branch to host such weirdos.
Due to the store's proximity to the Docks District, it was one of the many spots that the Cultists of Eros often visit after their monthly meeting.
The 3 hooded figures bought some snacks before taking a seat outside the store. They removed their suspicious clothing due to the heat of the mid day sun.
"Well then Shiro, how was your first time attending the Cultist of Eros?" ask Zayd as he took a swig at his carbonated drink
"I have to admit, there was something in the atmosphere that really took control of me. I didn't even notice that I threw my weapons at the picture of Adonis. Mob mentally is something that cant be underestimated" replied Shiro.
"Hahaha. That happens a fair bit during the meetings. The Immortal Virgin's speeches are often awe inspiring. Rumor has it that he has an S rank in charisma. I wouldn't be surprised if it was actually true." said David.
"But I'm surprised you didn't bid. I could have sworn that there were some items from you waifus."- said Zayd
"There were a fair number of big eroge titles release a couple of days ago. Thanks to that, my backlog just grew even more while my war chest is now as barren as a loli's chest" said Shiro as he sighed.
Indeed, there were quite a bit of discarded stuff from Shiro's to-be-conquered list. Some of these were as follows:
Amu's bullet cartridges.
Papers that Akiko doodled on
A single strand of Jack's hair
A pencil Debi nibbled on
Morgan's discarded handkerchief
One of Gil's hairbands
An autographed picture of Miki
A piece of a broken cup used by Xaio Qiao
There were quite a few items from Joan Arc but they were all bought by JoanArcIsMyWaifu (who was most certainly NOT Gilles De Rais) at terrifyingly high prices.
Mind you, Shiro had no intention of participating in the bidding war.
Why?
As stated earlier, his obsession with eroge has hit his savings hard. Calling him 'broke' was no exaggeration.
However, the real reason was something he would never say around his fellow GOB members.
In reality, despite his plummeting popularity among the common masses, the seeds he planted for his erotic harem life has finally started to bear fruit.
Just like what you often see from a typical harem anime, Shiro's ecchi encounters started to trickle in.
A couple of honest to god ecchi events happened early this morning that would cause Zayd to murder Shiro on the spot if he knew.
When he woke up this morning, he found his white haired loli stalker sleeping beside him. However, that was not the blessing he received from the dark perverted gods.
Due to an unexplained power surge 2 days ago, a large number of appliance in the Emiya residence malfunctioned. Thankfully, Shiro's computer was spared because it was unplugged at the time of the power surge.
He couldn't thank himself enough for the sudden urge to do some light cleaning at the time.
One of the things that went haywire was their air conditioning appliances. For some reason, all the air conditioning in the house couldn't go below the highest setting. While it wasnt much of a problem when in the middle of the day, it was a bit annoying during the night.
The summer nights in Mooncell City was quite hot, thus using the air conditioner was a must. However, it was freezing when left on for too long.
One solution was to simply turn the aircon off. However, that was at the price of interrupting some much needed sleep.
Another solution was to use extra layers of blankets in order to avoid freezing to death and being interrupted from one's beauty sleep.
Shiro used the second option and was quite satisfied with the result. In his previous life, he was once forced to fight in Mount Everest for a week. This cold was nothing compared to that.
However, this was not the same for Jack.
She was so cold that she not only left her attic for Shiro's bed, she also went into Shiro's shirt and slept there.
It was quite an erotic experience to find weapons grade loli literally inside your pants!
While the temptation was beyond what most mortal men could resist, Shiro had tons of experience with women in his previous life. The urge to defile Jack was stamped out via logic and reason.
Shiro had big plans for his harem. Falling for temptation and messing it up at such an early stage was foolish. Why settle for 1 meal when you can have a full buffet if you can hold on a little bit longer?
Thus Shiro was able to walk out of that situation LIKE A BOSS!
…. Unfortunately, his mother Irisviel went into his room at the exact moment when he was trying to force Jack out of his clothing without waking her up….
Irisviel became insufferably excited. She constantly pestered Shiro with 'When can I see my grandkids?' and 'I knew that you were a man that had forbidden desires for unripe flesh! Even though she's your half sister, I GIVE YOU MY APPROVAL TO TAKE ILLYASVIEL!'
It was seriously scary how his mother's mind worked.
As much as Shiro desired to scream 'My Little Sister Cant Be This Cute?!', that would be a lie. Illya was definitely someone lolicons would go after.
To make matters worse for Shiro, he already knew how beautiful Illya would become in a few years thanks to Hellel Lightbrigner.
Quite simply, the temptation to expand the loli department of his harem was quite strong.
Ahem… got sidetrack there.
Anyways, the point was this: Shiro no longer needed to bid for anything in the Cult of Eros item list because he already started having ecchi events that would soon make those items irrelevant.
Sadly, this low profile would only last until the girls no longer cared for appearance and would flirt openly.
He'll have to maximize the joy of attending these types of gatherings while it lasts.
As the trio talked about nonsense while drinking some ice cold soft drinks, they spotted a hooded figure that they immediately recognize as their good friend and leader, Gilles De Rias.
"Yo! Master Gilles! Nice work out there!" said Shiro as he waved energetically at Gilles.
Gilles stood at attention and looked around in a panic.
When he spotted Shiro, Zayd and David, he breathe a sigh of relief before covering his face with signature Cult of Eros cone mask.
"I-I am not this this amazing Gilles De Rias you are talking about." Said not-Gilles while he changed his voice into a higher pitch.
"Huh? What are you talking about? I just saw you before you put on that cap of yours. There's no way I-" replied Shiro but he was suddenly interrupted by 2 forceful grips on the shoulder.
It was Zayd and David. They looked as if they pitied someone.
"Shiro, he isn't our Gilles De Rias. He is JoanArcIsMyWaifu." Zayd was practically holding back his tears when he said this.
David had the same face but he kept silent because the tears would flow if he spoke a single word
Shiro was a bit perplexed about this. However, he could tell that there was a story that cant be said in front of Gilles.
With that in mind, Shiro decided to play along.
"I see…. I'm so sorry about that JoanArcIsMyWaifu. I thought you were someone I know. I do apologize for the trouble" said Shiro as he bowed.
"No no no. It's fine. Its just a simple misunderstanding after all. Well then, I'll be off."
Though Gilles said that, he went straight to the men's restroom.
This move confused Shiro even more.
Shiro turned to David and Zayd for some much needed answers.
"Er…. Care to explain?" asked Shiro
Both David and Zayd tried to answer but tears of great sorrow flowed from their eyes.
It took a few seconds for David and Zayd to calm down.
"Gille-…. JoanArcIsMyWaifu is a man who loves a certain young woman who's name we aren't allowed to divulge." Said Zayd
"…. I think JoanArcIsMyWaifu's name is a dead giveaway who the girl is…"
As much as Shiro wanted to point out the inconsistency, he decided to stay silent and allowed the two to continue their tale.
"JoanArcIsMyWaifu knows full well that he has no chance of ever touching the holy maiden, so he does the next best thing…"
David chocked on his tears as he said this.
Shiro wasn't stupid. He could easily put 2 and 2 together…. And he felt quite guilty about it.
Once again, tears began to form in their eyes. This time, Shiro also began to tear up as he listened to his friends.
"JoanArcIsMyWaifu buys one of Joan Arc's goods, he would often go to this restroom and 'stain it with his colors'! This is the closest he can get to actually hold his beloved's hand!"
David broke down into silent sobbing with Zayd and Shiro following suit
It's just sad!
It's just too damn sad!
To think Gilles/JoanArcIsMyWaifu had only this method to express his love to the unnamed girl of his dreams!
It was gut wrenchingly sad to watch!
Shiro in particular was feeling the sting. It was because of his presence that his seniors dream girl became even more out of reach.
If it wasn't for him, Gilles may actually have a chance!
…Okay, the previous statement was a lie…
Gilles has no chance on Joan Arc what so ever.
But the 3 had to believe!
For the sake of their beloved mentor and friend, they had to believe even in absolute impossibility!
Shiro, Zayd and David stood in front of the restroom where the sound 'fap fap fap' and the occasional sobbing could barely be heard. The 3 stood in attention, and even with tears streaming down their cheeks, they saluted with military rigidity and respect.
"""Thank You for all your hard work! Please enjoy yourself!"""
-:-
2 Hours Later
The trio walked around the city for a couple of hours doing stupid thing like 'observing' girls, debating which girl is the hottest and which game to buy the next time they went into a shopping spree.
Naturally, they tried to avoid talking about Gille-… JoanArcIsMyWaifu both out of respect and out of pity.
As they ran out of things to talk, the topic moved to a subject that has been a curiosity to Zayd and David
"So Shiro, I have something to ask of you as your second-in-command in your GW team" said Zayd with a rare serious look in his eyes
"Go ahead. Ask away."
"What are you plans? I mean, even though I'm registered as your First Servant, we haven't actually done anything GW-ish. We've been fooling around as per usual."
Shiro couldn't help but nod in agreement at Zayd's statement.
Thinking back, he has never actively pursued building up his GW team.
Why?
Because it was never his priority in the first place.
Ever since he overwritten the Shiro of this world, he has sworn to live the rest of his life as if he was the young pervert that got dragged into his mess. Since that young pervert dreamed of a harem, the older Shiro would do whatever it took to make that dream come true.
Shiro structured his response with that in mind.
"Truth be told, I was practically forced into the Ruler position by the school. I never really wanted a GW entourage anyway." Said Shiro
"Didn't you want to become a harem king? I think GW is the best way towards that dream" replied David.
True enough, a successful GW Ruler was practically a rockstar in this world. There were no shortages of people willing to sleep with said Ruler.
However, this was not how Shiro wanted to attain his harem.
"Successful GW Rulers can get their harem fairly quick, but thats only good for the short term. Those who are swept away by popularity alone are bound to have a very unstable relationship. I want my harem to be peaceful and ecchi. Thus I take great care on raising my flags with all of my potential haremites!"
Shiro said this with so much conviction that he was glowing in the eyes of Zayd and David.
"My god… you really thought this through huh. I thought you were just a dumbass…. But you're actually a smart dumbass" Zayd had a look of an enlightened sage as he said this
"The praise is appreciated but I suggest you think of a better insult you glorified pedophile." said Shiro in a joking manner.
"But still though, after that thing you did prior to the interschool grail war competition a few days ago, there's no way you'll stay in the sideline for long." David inserted.
True enough, that 'exhibition match' with Illya/Hellel Lightbringer forcefully catapulted Shiro into the spotlight. Though not a lot of people saw what actually happened, the battle did destroy the town a couple of times.
Shiro's participation in future GW events was pretty much set in stone.
"And that's why I need allies that I can trust. I'm not going to go on a recruiting spree just because shit is about to hit the fan. Now more than ever, I need to be selective as to whom am I going to surround myself in" Said Shiro
"Then should I join your GW?" asked David.
Truth be told, having David join in would be quite fun, it would be inefficient in the long run
"No, you shouldn't. In fact, I want you to make your own GW. That way, we'll be able to cover more ground in terms of recruitment and fronts we can fight in" replied Shiro
David and Zayd was impressed with Shiro's proposal. He truly did think things through.
However, Shiro's next words further impressed the perverted duo.
"And besides, why be satisfied of watching me form my own harem when you make you own, ~right?~ *wink* *wink*. Wouldn't be nice to be surrounded by women with D cup and above? *wink* *wink*" said Shiro
A realization dawned on David.
True enough, he was in a position to form his own harem if he so wills it. He had all the right flags raised and all he needed to do was to gather his haremites under one banner.
Naturally, David was aware of the potential problems that would plague him if he does pursue the harem path. All he needed to do was look at Shiro for reference.
However, his manly desires would not be denied by such a petty reason!
"Ahem…. I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't help you out in your time of need. Very well, I'm in. I'll make a hare- I mean I'll become a ruler. And this is only because you need my help, okay?" said David with an extremely unconvincing face.
"Fu fu fu. Of course, David. Of course" replied Shiro
They shook hands and with unspoken words they made a pact.
""MWHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!""
The two laughed in a diabolical manner. For their youthful lust for the opposite sex, THEY MARCH!
However, one of their friends felt very much left out.
"Oy Shiro. Why aren't you asking me to make my own harem? Just so you know, I am more than qualified to become a Ruler. Not only that, I know everything there is to know about my candidate haremites. If anything, I'm more prepared that either of you"
Zayd was puffing his cheeks while he said this.
It would have been fine if Zayd was in her loli body, but this action was quite creepy to look at when done by a true man such as him.
In response to Zayd, Shiro and David patted his shoulders out of pity.
"In your honest to god opinion, do you really think you can for your ideal harem without going to jail?" asked David
The proverbial arrow shot straight through Zayd. Critical hit!
Zayd was a lolicon and Shiro admired him for that. Those who pursue their own happiness without stepping on people were the ones that live a satisfied life, no matter how people viewed them.
However, Zayd's desires were simply too dangerous. If he crossed a certain line, he would come into conflict with the 'Child Protection Laws' of this world and would most certainly get arrested.
The punishment in this world for child cruelty was particularly cruel, ranging from life imprisonment to outright execution.
Corrupting minors was a lesser offense, but offenders would still get a jail time of a minimum of 50 years.
This was an old law that stretched back to the first few years after the end of the Great War. Whatever happened during the war must have influenced the severity of this law.
Naturally, pretty much everyone in this world knew the law and would do their absolute best not to cross it. Of course, Zayd was no exception to this.
Thus Zayd's dilemma
As much as he wanted to make his loli harem, the rule of law was absolute.
However, this did not deter Zayd from his promised land!
"I'll find a way! There are legal lolis out there! I will find them! The hardships will be numerous and the search will be difficult, but I will do it! I will succeed! FOR THE LOLITOPIA!" said Zayd
The conviction in his words, the firmness of his stance and the aura of pure conviction deeply moved Shiro and David.
The 2 patted Zayd on the shoulder once again. But this time, it was followed by a firm grip that symbolized the unbreakable bond of brotherhood between the three.
"While I still consider you as a disgusting pedophile, your guts moved me. You have my support brother!" said David
"I cant give you Debi or Jack. They're already mine. And I certainly will never give you Illya out of brotherly love. However, as long as it doesn't interfere with my ongoing conquests, my blades are at your disposal my friend" added Shiro.
Zayd looked at his brothers-in-arms with gratitude.
"Thank you my fellow comrades in the path of Eros! We will make our dreams come true with our own hands!" said Zayd with rock hard resolved.
Overcome by emotion, the 3 wept silent tears of manliness.
Nothing was more reassuring than a friend that has your back. Through thick and thin, the perverted trio has stuck together. Through the bond that was for the love of all that was moe, they were united.
While they were high in bromance, a sudden sense of wrongness caused Shiro and Zayd to snap into battle stance with their weapons.
Zayd was a professional observer *cough*stalker*cough*, so he was very sensitive to the pressure of eyes on him. As a professional observer, being seen by his subjects would be unwise…. and extremely painful.
Shiro has been in the receiving end of his fair share of ambushes and assassinations on top of his life in the battlefield. His instinct for danger was nothing to be scoffed about.
On the other hand, David was neither a stalker nor a war veteran. He was a step slower because he lacked the specialized skillset in dealing with detection of an unforeseen encounter.
Never the less, David was quick on the uptake. He quickly armed himself and prepared for combat.
On the other end of the street was the 'danger' the 3 was cautious of. There stood a big bald man that had the body that rivalled Alexander D Great's. In line with his appearance, the man had the presence of an imposing mountain.
Just standing in front of the man made David and Zayd shrink back
In Shiro's case, while he felt the pressure, he didn't back down. In the past, he has faced opponents that could easily make a graveyard out of a country or two. Compare to those, the big bald man was slightly less scary….. emphasis on SLIGHTLY
It wasn't the man's overpowering presence that terrified the 3….. no that's a lie but not the whole truth.
The man's presence did scare them, but not as much as what the man wore.
The man wore knee high leather boots and a leather brief… and nothing else.
It was creepy! And if you add the fact how terrifying the man's presence was, the creep factor exponentially increased!
The second the 2 groups made eye contact, the bald man took a body builder pose to show off his rippling muscles. At the same time, he threw a cutesy wink at Shiro's group.
A very cold chill shot up and down their spine.
"""OH MY FREAKING GOD! THAT'S DISGUSTING!"""
The trio's thoughts aligned at the sight of this very confusing event.
Without taking of their eyes on the man, the trio communicated among each other.
"Oy oy oy! We just made eye contact! He's winking at us! What the hell do we do?!" said the panicking Zayd.
"Shiro, deal with him!" said David
"Why me?! I don't even know the guy!" replied Shiro
"All the crazy stuff that's been either caused by you or have involved you in some way. Common sense dictates that this is going to involve you in one way or another!"
David's words smashed into Shiro's sore spot like a broken phantasm into a building.
"Damn it! I hate the fact that I cant disprove that statement!"
Like any protagonist of any story, Shiro was constantly subjected to a constant stream of problems, annoyances and combat.
Fortunately, Shiro had the strength, experience and wisdom to steamroll most of the problems that came his way. And besides, the multitudes of light hearted flirting made everything worthwhile.
In all honesty, Shiro was having the time of his life. Every crazy second of his second chance was filled with joyous adventures for the most idiotic of reasons, and he's loving it.
Shiro was happy. Without any shadow of a doubt, he was in love this world.
…. But of course, there were the occasional events that pushed the crazy into REALLY crazy levels…
This one counted as such an event.
With all the knowledge and experience Shiro has accumulated within his two lifetimes, he decided to take a bold move.
He unsummoned Kanshou and Bakuya.
"Listen up guys. Just turn around and let's walk away. Pretend you never saw him." Said Shiro
This surprised David and Zayd.
"Dude, are you serious?" asked David with a dubious expression on his face.
"Showing your back to your opponent is not wise Shiro" Zayd added.
True enough, Shiro agreed with both of their concerns. However, Shiro's suggestion was not without basis.
"Based on how the guy is dressed, the way he's showing off his muscles and the non stop flirty winks that he's been sending our way, I'm 90% sure that he means us no harm. And besides, I cant stand to stay here for another second! I want to leave! Right now! The guy is creeping me out to no end!"
Shiro's analysis and fairly desperate plea to leave was able convinced Zayd and David into this course of action.
Truth be told, the two felt the same.
The trio sheathed their weapons and with all the calm they could muster, turned away as if nothing happened. It took all of their will power to ignore the skimpy cladded man
However, as per usual, things didn't go according to plan.
"You're just going to ignore me? How mean~"
A voice spoke right beside them the millisecond they turned to leave.
Another unfortunate thing was Shiro's reaction.
Unlike David or Zayd, Shiro was extremely cautious of the muscular man for a very different reason.
He could smell an overwhelming stench of blood from the muscular man. Despite his queer demeanor, the muscular man has made a lot of mountains purely out of corpses and had the strength to match.
This feeling the muscular man gave off was something Shiro could attribute to Amaterasu, Futsunushi and the other people who was able to gain immortality after the Great War.
Shiro instinctively recognized the muscular man as a threat of the highest level. Nothing short of unleashing the full might of the UBW would allow Shiro a 50% chance at victory against the muscular man…. Or at least that's what his instincts told him.
Due to Shiro's heightened level of caution and his fear for the muscular man, the man's sudden appearance right beside them caused Shiro to instinctively attack with lethal force.
Before anyone could react, Shiro struck the muscular man with one of the strongest and most famous noble phantasms in existence: the Spear of Olympus: The Thunder God's Wrath
In layman's terms, the Spear of Olympus was the thunderbolt used by Zeus in Olympian lore.
As for its strength... well, it was damn terrifying to those who were familiar and unfamiliar with it.
It was fortunate that the area behind the muscular man was a long neglected empty lot, because a massive eruption of lightning and thunder decimated everything within in front of Shiro. The empty lot was charred black and the ground was as if a naval artillery shell smashed into it.
The sound of a thunderstorm in the middle of a clear summer day was certainly terrifying
"SHIRO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" roared the horrified David.
True enough, a normal GW pro would be in a lot of pain if he received a normal attack from the Spear of Olympus. What Shiro did was a full force, no holds bard strike that would kill the everyday joe.
Shiro snapped back to his senses and was a little surprised of what he did. However, he wasn't particularly worried of the muscular man's safety.
As stated earlier, anything short of the full might of Shiro's UBW would be harmless to the muscular man.
The proof could be seen when the smoke cleared.
The muscular man was standing in a relaxed manner despite the Spear of Olympus being imbedded into his gut.
His invincible visage was both awe inspiring and terrifying….. which lasted before it became weird once again.
"~Ahn! Yes! Magnifique! The savage impalement of you big hot spear into my womb! And you did it without warning! Tres Bien! The pleasure is out of this world! My Excalibur is firing! ITS FIIIIIIRRRIIIIIIIING! EEEEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Out of sheer ecstasy, the muscular man made bent his back and made a human bridge.
Knowing what was coming, Shiro unsummoned the Spear of Olympus dodged like his life depended on it. David and Zayd also joined him out of fear of getting caught in the muscular man's 'Excaliblast'.
"""OMFG! Of all the freaking things to meet, why a Hardcore Masochist?! Scary!"""
The trio understood very well that there were different strokes for different folks.
Who were they to preach the pleasure masochist's from suffering. The trio understood that they didn't exactly have the moral high ground given their fairly unsettling hobbies.
Never the less, it was creepy as hell for a man to watch his fellow man fire off his 'Excalibur' because of being stabbed and electrocuted.
When the muscular man finished his 'business', he stood up straight as if nothing happened.
"Fu fu fu! That was exhilarating! I'm glad you were exactly how Futsunushi described you to be. While I do question your lack of foreplay, I am very satisfied how precise you were at tickling my sweet spots while being extremely rough. I have no doubt that your women will insist you sleep with at least 3 of them, else they go insane with pleasure! Bravo Emiya Shiro. Bravo."
The extremely sexualized way the muscular man said it caused many shivers to creep up the trio's spine.
"Dude…. Just…. Dude…." Said David in disbelief
"Shiro…. You truly are a generalist" Zayd patted Shiro in the shoulder as if he was pitying him.
"DON'T SCREW ME! I don't even know the guy!"
Shiro proceeded to choke Zayd out of sheer frustration.
The muscular man chuckled as he watched the trio's comedic interactions. After a few seconds, he decided to talk.
"I assume you're wondering who is this fabulous specimen in front of you and why is he here?" said the muscular man.
The trio could do nothing but nod in silence.
While the muscular man had some…. Err… unique taste in clothing, they could not deny that he has a way with words.
"Before I tell you who I am, allow me to show you the persona whom you are familiar with" said the muscular man, much to the trio's confusion.
Before they could ask what the hell he was talking about, the muscular man performed a maneuver that Shiro has seen once before.
The muscular man made a sailor moon pose, and with a loud voice, he roared….
"With the power of magic and love, I call upon the fairies to show my true form! PRETTY ANGEL CHANGE!"
A pink light enveloped the entire area.
Within that pink light, the muscular man's visage began to shrink.
The pink intensified until the muscular man's silhouette was barely visible. However, it was still easy to make out through the blinding light that muscular man was stills doing sailor moon poses.
Throughout the 10 seconds of transformation sequences the trio made this face (T.T) while reflecting on the foolish things they have done which resulted in the punishment of watching a muscular man transform into 'something'
The pinkish light eventually died down and the result of the muscular man's transformation greatly shocked the trio.
In front of them was a lanky teenager that wore nothing but his white briefs.
At the very sight of the brief clad teenager, the trio immediately took a knee as if they were knights showing allegiance to their king.
"""We offer respects to the Immortal Virgin"""
The Immortal Virgin might lacked the muscular man's overbearing presence, but he more than made it up with a calm and insightful aura. If the muscular man incited fear from the depths of one's soul, the Immortal Virgin commanded respect without forcing it.
Every word, every action and every thing about the brief cladded youth was simple yet awe inspiring at the same time.
"I am truly sorry for attacking you Immortal Virgin! It was just your other form caused my instincts to go haywire!" said Shiro
No matter how cautious he was, it was no excuse that he attacked an unarmed civilian without any provocation. Now that Shiro had his wits in place, he felt quite guilty for allowing impulse to rule his actions.
"Don't feel any guilt my friend. My other form hoped for you to perform such actions. It is through firing his 'Excalibur' can I, the sage mode, appear in the flesh. " said the Immortal Virgin in a sage like manner.
"Thank you my lord!"
The trio rose and stood at parade rest. They didn't really need to do that, but that was how they felt they should act in front of the Immortal Virgin.
"For now, let us move into a more appropriate place so that my other self can explain what the situation is" said the Immortal Virgin.
The trio saluted with military precision and followed the Immortal Virgin
-:-
A few minutes, the four moved to a relatively distant restaurant to avoid the potential police grilling that would inevitably follow.
Shiro did unleash the power of one of the strongest noble phantasms in the middle of a suburban area. No way the police would allow them to walk away unpunished.
The place they moved into was a normal looking fast food restaurant.
Normally, that would be fine in on itself. Unfortunately, the trio was once again bathed in pressure because the skimpy clad muscular man was back.
The pressure of being crushed by a mountain was completely gone. Apparently it was an active skill that could be turned off at whim. However, a different form of pressure threatened to crush the trio's souls into mush.
Every customer, every staff member and everyone one in the restaurant was giving the trio some painfully disgusted glares.
Among the whispers that could be heard were:
"So that their taste huh…. The world has all sorts of people"
"Mama! Mama! There's something weird over there!"
"Hush child! Don't point! Don't look!"
"Look at those boy toys! I'm so jealous!"
"More younglings walking the dark path I see…. Poor souls…"
Quite simply, they were being placed at the same mold as the muscular man…. And it wasn't fun at all.
As much as they wanted to deny the false charges on them, speaking out at this point may hurt the muscular man's feelings…. Which could result in the trio's body being manhandled and their souls defiled.
They knew how strong the muscular man was, thus they decided not to risk anything that may sour his mood.
For now, they swallowed the shame and stayed silent.
However, the muscular man exceeded the trio's expectations by a large margin
"Those scornful look….. its as if to say that I am a failure as a human being for corrupting such handsome younglings…. ~This is nice~…. I just might fire my Excalibur again…. *Huff huff huff*"
"""God! I want to kill this guy!"""
The trio used every bit of self control they had to keep themselves from flying into a rage.
For now, Shiro decided to move this conversation quickly in order to get away from the muscular man as fast as possible.
"Let's get to the point then. Who are you? How do you know me? What do you want?"
Shiro's delivery was clearly rude but he was at his wits end. Dealing with this pervert was way beyond his patience can endure.
"Ah of course. Straight to the matter at hand then. Who am I? This fabulous specimen in front of you and the one you call the Immortal Virgin are both named Eros!"
The muscular man's revelation shocked the trio.
Who was Eros?
He was the founding father of the Cult of Eros gave birth to many groups that praised the glory of the human beauty. Of these groups, the Great Otaku Brotherhood (GOB) was one of the largest and most famous.
But more importantly, Eros was a member of Futsunushi GW entourage and one of his closest friends.
This may come as a surprise but Futsunushi's GW entourage was comprised mostly of men. His official harem was completely separate from that….. though the harem was actually much more powerful than Futsunushi's GW entourage.
Anyways, Eros was a survivor of the Great War. It was no wonder the 3 felt like they were but mere insects to him.
But worst of all, Eros was a hardcore masochist! Every word and every action he does was effective mental torture. If anyone tried to kill him, he'll just scream out 'EXXXXXXCCCCAAAALLLLLIIIIIIBBBBAAA' and fire of his white beam of justice.
No wonder Futsunushi recruited him into his GW group. A hardcore masochist was practically an unbreakable shield.
While being in front of a famous warlords of legend was honor and a privilege, Eros was simply too impossible to deal with!
Silently urged by David and Zayd, Shiro moved to conversation as fast as he can.
"I see…. Then I guess I don't really need to ask how you got to know me, do I?" Said Shiro
"Of course. I have known Futsunushi when he first 'arrived' in my era." Replied Eros with a nostalgic smile.
History books often believed that the starting point of the immortal goddess Amaterasu's rise to power was the meeting of a young Futsunushi and Eros. It may not look like much, but that meeting led into a strong bond of brotherhood that would endure the constant warfare of the era and would last centuries.
There was no way that Eros wouldn't know who Emiya Shiro was given his long friendship with Futsunushi.
"Then lets get to the crux of the matter….. what do you want?" asked Shiro
For the first time, Eros' ever flirty façade was nowhere to be seen. On its place, a face of a serious man that has survived countless battle.
"Since you are members of the Cult of Eros, I assume that you have heard of The Rati Collection?" asked Eros
This confused the trio.
The Rati Collection was something of an urban legend to perverts and moe enthusiast alike. It was said that prior to the beginning of the Great War, the legendary fujoshi writer/artist Rati was planning to release a bulk of her work after 2 years of hiatus.
Unlike her yaoi loving brethren, Rati's worked was that of a generalist. Her level of perversion knew no boundaries and her artwork was subtle yet profound. She was the ultimate eromanga artist!
Rati was largely considered as the mother of modern day hentai, thus her work was widely sought after even to this day and age.
FYI: Rati was the Hindu goddess of love, carnal desire, lust, passion and sexual pleasure….. the woman that every man desired!
However, tragedy struck because her release date was the exact day when the Great War started.
It was said that Rati died that day. The perverted community would have held a massive mourning ceremony if it wasn't for the Great War.
However, after the Great War, rumors surfaced that the majority of her massive collection of erotic novels and artworks was not with her during her unfortunate demise. It was said that she hid it in different locations all over the world.
Why?
Who knows or cares!
All that mattered that her works survived!
A massive treasure hunt that spanned all over the world sparked from this rumor alone.
Over the centuries, there was a small portion of Rati's work that was unearthed.
Due to the high quality storyline, superb art work and high fap repeatability, Rati's work was often priced in the hundreds of millions!
There were even GW events that were instigated by Amaterasu herself with Rati's works as the prize.
However, despite being one of the most sought after items in the entire world, their rarity was simply too great. Most enthusiast even abandon the pursuit of perverted glory simply because of the high difficulty of finding Rati's legendary works.
Because of this, Eros didn't mind the trio's skepticism.
"Keep this a secret to all, but my sources located one of the thousands of Rati's legendary vaults a few kilometers from Fuyuki City."
Eros took out his phone at presented a detailed map of Fuyuki City and the potential areas Rati's vault could be located.
What surprised Shiro the most was how familiar yet unfamiliar the map of Fuyuki was.
The city where he was born was right there. However, it was now at the center of a massive metropolitan area.
But if you think of it logically, there's no way the hometown of this world's goddess and reigning immortal monarch would remain as small as Shiro's Fuyuki City. It was inevitable that massive amounts of investments would be shoved into her hometown weather she wanted it or not.
The area Eros pointed out was a few kilometers away from the main city proper. Based on visual calculations alone, Shiro guessed it was about 3 hours drive from the city, then another 7-10 hours of hiking.
The distance was just about right for an Indiana Jones styled treasure hunt.
However, there was one important question that was in dire need of answers.
"Why are you telling us this? If you knew about the location, then there's nothing stopping you from going there yourself." Said Shiro.
Eros answered with a self-depreciating smile.
"With great power comes great restrictions. People who gained immortality by surviving the Great War are extremely powerful by nature. As such, we're no longer considered as humans and are classified as an army or weapons of mass destruction. Because of this, moving around areas that were not under our jurisdiction requires a very tall stack of paper works." Said Eros
True enough, the trio has seen the power of Amaterasu back in Alimango Island. That level of world changing power was definitely at the same rank as a nuke…. Or probably tiers higher.
"Oh by the way, Amaterasu is the exception to this rule. She is technically the reigning god empress of this world after all." Eros added.
Not particularly surprising seeing how almost omnipotent she has become.
Eros then touched on the most important part of his explanation
"Futsunushi gave me a license that exempted me from any paper works when moving within all the cities under his jurisdiction. Mooncell City is one of these cities. The problem with Fuyuki is that while it also belonged to Futsunushi's jurisdiction, his influence is dwarfed by Amaterasu's. Because of this, my special pass doesn't work in that city." said Eros
"Then why don't you file the paper work?" asked David
"That's because it would take at least 2 weeks to get an approval. The existence of Rati's collection was made known to me only this morning. For now, there's barely anyone that knows about it, but I have no doubt that our brothers and sisters of Ero will get a whiff of the scent. I give our comrades 5 days before they swarm the place and loot all the contents" replied Eros
The trio nodded in agreement to Eros' words.
This might come as a shock but those who belonged to 'their world' were extremely resourceful. Even the law enforcement agencies were shocked on how a bunch of closet perverts could be so skilled at hunting, tracking and pursuing their marks.
"Then there's no time to waste. I'll ask 2 more questions before we get moving" said Shiro with all seriousness.
"Oh? So you three accept?" asked the ecstatic Eros.
"This is the legendary Rati we're talking about. I doubt anyone within our circles would be able to resist the temptation" replied Shiro.
David and Zayd nodded in agreement.
In the trio's eyes were flames of determination that could be seen in soldiers marching to their deaths. For the ultimate treasure, nothing will stop them!
Eros' chest swelled in pride as he saw the trio's determination
"Very well, as away" said Eros
"First, what's our terms and conditions?"
Shiro had a serious glint in his eyes.
The trio were just high school students. There was no way they can afford the expenses required for this expedition.
"Naturally, this is an all-expense paid trip be it from airplane fare, food or lodgings. The target is a book called 'The Fundamental Hardcore Plays for Hard Gays'. Your reward is all the loot that you can carry out there" said Eros.
"Good…. Last question: When do we leave?"
"Right this second if possible. However, you must contact your parents and inform them that you're going for a trip to Fuyuki. We go the millisecond you get approval" replied Eros
The trio stood from their seats in unison and salute
"""Sir Yes Sir!"""
The trio wasted no time.
They moved swiftly and proceeded to negotiate with their respective families on their phones.
20 minutes later, they got on Eros' private plane and went straight to Fuyuki
-:-
3 HOURS LATER
FUYUKI CITY
Murphy's Law was a famous epigram that commonly stated that 'Anything that can go wrong will go wrong'
The concept or idea around the law itself was as old as civilization itself, thus it was nigh impossible to pinpoint the origin of such a saying.
The Murphy's Law was a negative yet very practical outlook to any situation because it allowed the person to prepare for any eventualities.
As the wise medical saying goes: 'Prevention is better than Cure'
The Murphy's Law was a particular sore spot for Shiro. Despite being an avid fan of the law, the law itself often gave Shiro the middle finger.
He was the type of person who would always prepare for the worst. He often tried to make counter measures to any situation he could think off.
Sadly, the number of scenarios that could go wrong in any given situation was as numerous as the stars in the sky.
No matter how prepared Shiro was, there will always be some sort of unforeseen circumstances that would throw his plans out of the window.
For now, they followed Eros' plan
First, take his private jet to Fuyuki City.
Next, head to a friend of Eros, take a small 4 seater plane and fly to the specified area.
From there, the pilot would do his best to fly as low and as slow as possible so that the trio could jump off the plane and land in one of the lakes.
A fall from 100 feet could easily be managed due to their powerful bodies.
At least, that was how it was supposed to go down.
And as per usual for Shiro's fun yet chaotic life, the shit smashed into the proverbial fan.
The trio along with the pilot of their small aircraft left the airport and went as high as 7000 feet in order to avoid the 5000 foot tall mountains.
The beauty of aircrafts was their ability to completely ignore the terrain and travel at a straight line. The supposed 3 hour drive turned into barely 10 minutes of flying.
It was quite convenient in terms of time efficiency, but the problem was on a place to land. The forest had no even ground wide enough for the small plane to make an acceptable touch down and landing roll.
However, the trio and their pilot didn't have time to contemplate on such things.
The moment they started their descent, the pilot suddenly disappeared. It was as if he was teleported right then and there.
Fortunately for the trio, Shiro knew how to pilot the small aircraft. It was a fairly basic set up with a throttle, steering while that can do pitch and banks, and pedals that controlled the rudders. It was nothing fancy but it performed its functions well.
Unfortunately, before the trio could deduce what happened….
"RHO AIAS!"
Shiro's instincts screamed at him of an incoming danger and he reacted in kind.
Sadly, he was a step too late.
Shiro was able to deploy a single layer of Rho Aias inside the small plane. It was able to protect the trio from the incoming attack came almost a millisecond later. Unfortunately, the quickly deployed Rho Aias was too small to cover the plane.
The attack was a massive fireball that turned the sky into an inferno.
Due to the intensity of the sudden attack, the small airplane disintegrated into nothingness.
With no plane to keep them in the air, the trio fell towards the earth.
As you expected of children that knew only peace, Zayd and David were panicking to no end. A natural reaction for normal people. They were never forced to experience such terrifying ambushes in their entire life.
However, Shiro has his fair share of having the plane he was on being shot out of the skies. While he was panicking as well, his head was in the game and he was ready to play.
It didn't take long for Shiro to spot their attacker amidst the clear sky.
About 6000 feet below them was a massive red dragon beating its wings aggressively. Based on the way it was taking a deep breath, the dragon had every intention of cooking them well done.
I am the Bone of my Sword…
With his ever trusty bow on his left and the dragon slaying Arondight on his right, Shiro prepared himself for battle.
"*sigh* Here we go again damn it!"
-:-
AUTHORS NOTES
I'll do a Q&A thing here in order to answer the questions that I failed to answer over the years
However, I would like to get something out of the way first. Please support me in P.A.T.R.E.O.N! Just search Ginobi47 and you'll find me easily.
Why did I perform such a shameless self advertisement?
That will be answered in the Q&A below.
Well then, let's get right to it.
Q1: WHAT TOOK YOU SO F*CKING LONG TO UPDATE?!
Ah yes. This is the most common PM I got over the years (minus the profanity and aggressive manner). The answer is simple: Severe financial distress. If you want to full summary of what forced me to stop writing completely, please read the Author's Notes I made on chapter 5 of my Overlord Fanfic. I dont want to repeat the humiliation of sharing my financial struggles all over again.
This is also why I'm asking for my readers support in P.A.T.R.E.O.N. Please help me keep making stories!
Q2: Will you be continuing Highschool Of Heroes?
Heavens yes! I would never willingly stop writing unless real life beats the crap out of me! Highschool Of Heroes is the story that I can consider my greatest creation and the hardest one to make. No way I would walk away willingly from it! Aside from the occasional Writers Block, I will never stop making scenarios for Highschool Of Heroes!
Q3: Why did you make other Fanfics instead of Highschool of Heroes?
Writers Block is a nasty thing. It's like trying to squeeze out water from a dry sponge... Well, that's the main reason 2 years ago.
The main reason why I made an Overlord fanfic before updating Highschool of Heroes was to flex my writing muscles. Highschool Of Heroes is my proudest work. No way I'll update it with such rusty writing skills.
Not to mention, comedy was never my forte. Thinking of jokes while in such a rusty state degrades Highschool Of Heroes. That is something I dont like
Q4: Will Highschool of Heroes ever get serious?
This is another common PM I've been getting over the years. The short answer is NO
The long answer is a bit more complicated. The main inspiration of Highschool of Heroes is Baka To Test To Shoukanjuu where the school filled with nutjobs go about their crazy days in their usual crazy manners. My direction for Highschool of Heroes is essentially a crack fic with a good storyline, high impact action and the most idiotic scenarios dialed up to 11 and beyond.
There will be some well thought of plot and there will be some seriousness here and there, but Highschool of Heroes was and always be meant to be pure unfiltered crazy fun.
Q5: It's Shirou, not Shiro you dumbass!
I know damn it! I misspelled that one and completely forgot to change it! Since it's too tiresome to go back and change things, I just left them as is... Viva La Laziness!
Q6: Who will Shiro end up banging first?
I was actually quite surprised how many people asked me this question.
Are you guys for real? You know I cant write R18 stuff as long as I stick to the Teen tag right?
If it's romance that you're asking, the answer is I DONT KNOW! Like I said at the very start of Highschool Of Heroes, this works is 100% outside my comfort zone. Romance and Comedy are the 2 that tormented me at every turn when ever I make a chapter for this fic. Writing a heart grabbing romance storyline downright impossible to me.
Just like the plot, I'll probably just grab unto some crazy scenario, pushed it up to 11 and just let it run wild! Whoever gets to be Shiro's first wife is all up to fate!
Q7: When will be your next up date?
The answer is simple: It will be ready when its ready!
No way I'm allowing my readers read something I find unsatisfactory. I will never sacrifice quality for speed! EVER! That's how I've been doing it in the past, and that's how I'll be doing it for the years to come.
However, if you guys are that impatient, I usually dump my working progress in my P.A.T.R.E.O.N. These works are unfinished and will be subjected to constant change. Hell, they might get deleted just because I didnt like where they were going. These under construction stories are available to my supporters. Feel free to browse.
Anyways, thats it for my authors notes. I hate making AUs, so aside from shoving the customary 'Please support me in P.A.T.R.E.O.N' at the end of every chapter, I wont be doing AUs at all.
All in all, I'm back and I hope that I'm here to stay!