A/N: 221authoronbakerst, thank you so much for your review, I'm really glad you like my story! I hope it won't disappoint :D
Well, here comes next chapter, quicker and pretty longer than expected, but oh well, what to do. :D Enjoy! And of course, be free, tell me your opinion, ~review~
Disclaimer: Nope, I still own nothing at all~~~
I went to bed pretty early that evening, but my exhaustion and tears didn't keep me awake for too long. I fell in some uncomfortable, restless slumber on that smelly old bed, praying not to get some germs or diseases. Understandably, I wasn't quite in the mood for cleaning up after my little breakdown. After some torturous, unconscious hours with weird dreams about Sirius beating me with a chair and Remus just standing by and smiling, I finally woke up, not quite rested, but it'd have to do. I looked at the little clock on my nightstand and saw it was already nine in the morning. I was wondering if this old clock was even working while getting dressed and when I was done, I went to the bathroom attached to my room. Surprisingly, it wasn't bad. Yes, it was bloody old and smelly, but it was pretty luxurious with that sink and tub made of black marble. It would be awesome, after some fixing up and sanitization. I finally found the time to unpack my bags and put all of my cosmetics in the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, ready to wash my face when I spotted a huge rat under the sink and screamed. No, not that girlish screech when they run to the nearest chair and jump on it. This was more like a shout, and then followed one gasp and finally one juicy curse. After initial panic attack I realized that the smartest thing to do right now is just to ignore it, and start to clean the damn house after breakfast. Mentally patting myself on the back for some moral support, I reached for the faucet on the sink so I could clean my mouth off the toothpaste and finally wash up my face. But it started to gurgle on the weird way and something awful, looking like mud started to come out instead of water. Now I wanted to cry. The owner of the house hates me, the house alone hates me and I couldn't get away because Dumbledore thought the smartest plan was not to show myself in public so much, so I could do some incognito missions. Fuck my life. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I ran down the stairs not caring for the toothpaste leaking from my mouth and staining my shirt and jeans (they were old, after all), but giving just a little care for the fact that I was barefoot and this house was disgusting. Just as I approached the bottom of the stairs and prepared to turn right, not giving a damn if Sirius was there to make my life even more miserable, some awful creature appeared just in front of me and startled me.
''Kreacher can smell Mudblood and it's gross. Kreacher wants to throw her out the noble, beautiful home of purity and leave her outside to starve. Oh my poor mistress, she would die again if she found out what kind of filth walks through the ancient house!" What the hell? This is the house elf? Is he throwing a fit at me right now? Just as I wanted to respond with some insult, too pissed off with the happenings from last evening and this morning, I bit my tongue. What if he is just like Sirius, trapped in here and tortured his whole life? I decided to ignore his ramblings and with dignity (as much dignity as I could muster with the toothpaste on my face and clothes) I opened the kitchen door and got into the room. It was seemingly empty and I finally got to the sink and washed up. Refreshed and somehow collected, I started my search for some coffee… Except there wasn't any. Now, I was really, really pissed.
''Fucking, old, dirty hellhole! Bloody house elf! Fucking, stupid magic! Fucking, stupid Black! Fuck!'' I was yelling my nonsense to no one in particular, marching out of the kitchen. But I forgot that in this house, you shouldn't really be loud.
''MUDBLOOD! HOW DARE YOU TO BREATHE THE AIR OF THIS NOBLE-'' that blasted portrait started to screech. Oh, I needed just that right now.
''FUCK YOU, YOU OLD, TWISTED COW! FUCK YOU AND YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR ELF!'' I drew out my wand and stunned bloody bitch because I didn't know how to shut her up. Then I heard the other voice which really, really irritated me and I wanted to kick something.
''Oh, you're finding some topics with my mom. Weird, I didn't realize until now how similar are you two.'' He slurred the words, leaning on the wall on the bottom of the stairs, looking, if possible worse than yesterday and smelling of something like firewhiskey, cigarette smoke and horse shit. Awful.
''Oh, piss off!'' I shouted, flipped him two middle fingers and left him standing there half-conscious. So what if I was behaving like a teenage girl, even if I was 35? I couldn't bear to live like this.
After I calmed down enough not to kill someone, I came back to the kitchen in hope to find Remus there. Sirius was nowhere in sight and I wasn't in the mood for his insults, so that was a relief. I guess karma was sorry because she gave so much shit in the last 24 hours, so it sent me my savior.
''Oh thanks Merlin, Remus! Save me from this hell!'' I dramatized a lot, but unfortunately, I was only half-joking. Remus put down The Daily Prophet and chuckled.
''Well, good morning to you too. I assume you had some fun already?'' He asked with raised eyebrows and mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I sighed; looks like there was a rule- Once a Marauder, always a Marauder.
''I want to die. Please, please go and buy coffee! And food! And everything you can find for cleaning up!'' I was so desperate I started throwing galleons at him. He was openly laughing now.
''Okay, okay! Calm down! Sorry about the coffee, I made the last one to forcefully sober up Sirius, before you came yesterday. Fine, I'm going now, but only because you look pathetic.'' He was grinning and I hit him playfully on the shoulder.
''By the way, we have the Order meeting tonight in here, so prepare to see many familiar faces.'' Remus announced before closing the door behind him.
In this hole? Oh no, that can't be good. I don't know why am I acting like a good old housewife, but I didn't want for people to stay in some chaos more than necessary. I scanned the room, thinking where to start, when I spotted a tray with leftover sandwiches. Sirius hadn't even touched them, and he already looked like he hadn't been eating for a while. I shook my head, feeling anger rising within me once again. Well, if he would rather starve than eat what I've made, fine by me.
Remus came back after a while with all the stuff I asked of him and helped me clean the kitchen. It wasn't bad, we were talking and joking, and I was certainly in the lighter mood with him as my company. We were always getting along just well. Although, he was getting along well with everyone, he was one of those people. He was just telling me about some interesting escapades while he was teaching at Hogwarts, when I started opening drawers under the counter. Every one of them was full with half-empty or empty bottles of Ogden's finest. My light mood died and I stopped laughing.
''He was such a good boy, I was almost sorry to give him a deten- Vivian, are you alright?'' Remus was cleaning shelves with old dishes, so he didn't see what I was looking at.
''Forty-seven.'' I croaked, not able to make a proper sentence.
''What-?'' Remus approached me and realized what I was talking about. He sighed with recognition.
''And that is for the last two months. There are some more around the house, probably.'' He said grimly.
''But how? Where does he get them from? Why didn't you do something?" I started panicking for some reason. Sirius had a huge problem here.
''Because I'm an awful friend. All I'm doing is telling him to stop, and he never listens of course. I'm making the same mistakes as the ones when we were in school.'' Remus paused and awful, tired remorse crossed his face.
''He gets them from Kreacher, probably. He is, after all his master.''
''Well, we have to do something! We can't let him drown in his own sorrows!'' I was determined to change the whole place, and I didn't care how much nerves I had to lose.
''The problem is, he thinks he drowns his sorrows- his demons with alcohol. Apparently, it makes him… numb.''
''Well, he is a mess! His demons drown him! It has to stop!''
''I don't know if you realized, but the only thing that holds him alive is Harry. He doesn't care about himself, he doesn't care about anything else-just Harry. And Harry loves him and has no idea about this side of him and we can't tell him. It'll ruin their relationship. We can't do much, because he won't listen… At least he sleeps sometimes when drunk.'' At least he sleeps sometimes when drunk? This was getting worse and worse by the minute. I took a deep breath trying to control the lump in my throat and with one flick of the wand vanished those blasted bottles. I'm going to find that little elf bugger and threaten him until he stops bringing this shit into the house. With some last touches, like me putting a little plant in pot on the table, we were finished with kitchen, and I was proud with our work. It looked almost homey. Just then Sirius walked into the room, grumpy and cranky and looking like some hobo. He greeted Remus with quiet hello and rolled his eyes when I greeted him. I sighed and did what, it seemed, I would do very often from now on- I stepped out of my line and apologized for my earlier behavior.
''Black, I'm sorry for yelling at you this morning. I was just- This house can get little overbearing, you know?'' I said it in cheery voice, hopefully not sounding so fake. I was far from cheery, especially since I saw all those bottles and his worsened state.
''Oh, just sod off. I don't give a damn about your frustrations.'' He grumbled, scowling and again I restricted myself from slapping him, hard.
''I'll be in my room.'' I huffed and went to continue my cleaning and try to think about everything. And just when I finished all, I cast a look at all the garbage bags where I put Walburga's freaky stuff. Then, one great idea struck me. Remus told me about Kreacher's love for everything in this blasted house, and that his mistress was everything to him. I smirked.
I amused myself with rearranging my stuff and making all the pipes in bathroom get normal water with some improvised spells, when I heard familiar pop. I knew he would come.
''Nasty Mudblood trying to get rid of all the treasures of the house! Stupid, ugly bi-'' He started to wallow on the floor, looking like one disgusting meaty ball when I cut him off.
''Yeah, yeah, right. Listen to me now, Kreacher. I can give to you all of her jewelry if you promise-no, swear not to bring any alcohol in here again. Disobey him, torture yourself, do what you think you have to, but never, ever again bring him more alcohol. Understood?'' I said it so harshly and haughtily, like I was one of those Blacks, god forbid.
Kreacher's eyes lit up when he realized he's going to save his treasures.
''Kreacher swears not to bring any alcohol to young master Black.'' As he said it, some yellowish glow illuminated him. I nodded, remembering how strong elves' magic could be.
''Now give me mistress' jewelry, you vile excuse for a witch!'' He added hastily and I threw one of the bags at him, not caring about his insults. I was making some progress here. Finally.
Around seven, I came back to the kitchen to wait for Order members. I was pretty nervous to see those people again; Remus had told me about sad destinies of some, like McKinnon's or Vance's, but he didn't go into many details. And one by one, they started to fill the room. Remus came first and stood by me like some moral support, and it helped me feel a little more confident. Next were professors McGonagall and Flitwick, who were exceptionally glad to see me.
''White, my dear child, I was afraid I would never see you again!'' Flitwick was beaming at me while I was fighting awkwardness and trying to remember when was the last time someone called me a child.
''Excellent at Transfiguration, I knew you would become an auror! Too bad you weren't around for the last few years.'' McGonagall's thin lips turned upwards, and for some reason, I was feeling like I successfully transfigured needle into the worm for the first time.
Then came Snape, with sneer on his pale face, and didn't even acknowledge me. Oh well. Hestia Jones, Mundungus Fletcher and the whole Weasley family came after and I was chatting freely with all of them, getting to know all those kids. I knew Molly and Arthur from before and they were always very nice and friendly, whenever I saw them. And to my delight, that didn't change at all. Before I knew it, Molly was hugging me and telling me how glad she was to see me while Arthur was grinning from ear to ear. And after initial greetings I was surrounded by a dozen ginger kids who were as pleasant as their parents, and of course I had to pick my favorites-those twins. Well, I certainly always had soft spot for troublemakers…
Then came Moody, a lot older, with some new scars and I was just too happy to see him alive and well. He was my mentor, my leader and my boss when I was working for the Ministry and I was always fascinated by his courage and wisdom. And when he saw me, something akin to genuine smile fell on his face.
''White, you sneaky lass, you finally decided to join us?'' He somehow managed to growl happily.
''Well, a vacation for a decade is just enough, don't you think?'' I grinned and everyone around me laughed. I hadn't felt this nice in such a long time. I was finally home.
In the next ten minutes everyone else was seated, while I was rummaging through the kitchen and bringing some food and drinks. After many ''Oh honey don't do that! At least let me help you!'' from Molly and me convincing her I was really fine, Molly ordered kids to go upstairs and tell Sirius to come to the meeting. And just when I wanted to sit down next to Remus, some very loud crash was heard, followed by Walburga's screeching. I started to get up to see what was that all about, when Remus stopped me.
''Relax, it's just Nymphadora.'' Wait… Did he say Nymphadora? That Nymphadora?
And just as I was mulling that over, one twenty-something, quirky, bubblegum pink haired beauty came into the room, and I couldn't stop myself from rambling.
''Oh Merlin! Dora! You grew up! Such a beauty! Great hair!'' I bolted to her and hugged her like I would hug some lost sister.
''Yes, thank you! I'm so glad you like it!'' She was grinning and squealing just like me when I let her go and then she asked
''But wait, who exactly are you?'' With the same enthusiasm and grin. Ok, so she was hugging and beaming at the person she doesn't even remember. God, I loved this kid.
''Oh right, you probably don't remember me. I'm Vivian, we met when you were like, six and I had a mission to keep an eye on you. After that I used to visit you with-'' I started to explain but then the door opened and Sirius strolled in, still looking awfully sick and ragged, but at least he was sober. Dora greeted him with a smile and a wave and Sirius waved her back, still standing on the door. Dora turned back to me.
''With whom?'' She still had that childish grin. I almost started to cry when I looked at her. She was young and loud and wild and wore crazy outfits, just like I used to. She was everything I had lost with age and worries.
Her question startled me. I looked to the floor, then to amused Dora, then finally to Sirius.
''With…with Sirius.'' I felt the blush starting to rise on my cheeks and smiled a little at him. He just scowled, looking confused. Why was I again acting like a teenage girl? Well, probably because memories of our crazy relationship flooded me right then.
''Oh right, that Vivian! Sirius must have been so in love with you, you are the only one of his girlfriends he ever brought to meet my mum!'' Dora snickered and playfully stuck her tongue at Sirius. He just looked bewildered, uncomfortable and on the verge of vomiting.
''Anyway, I remember you had that awesome, freaky purple hair! Why did you dye it black?'' Dora kept chatting, like that awkward moment never happened.
''Well, I guess I got old… Or I'm not the person who would have violet hair anymore. Yup, it's probably that-I'm kind of a different person now.'' I smiled even if I felt hollow and empty and my eyes wandered to Sirius again. He was looking at me like the first time on the stairs-with steady, analyzing, unreadable gaze. When he caught my gaze he just strolled to the table and sat on the head. The other end of the table was probably reserved for Dumbledore. I went and sat next to Remus and Dora sat across from us. Dumbledore came shortly after and meeting officially began. There weren't many things to talk about. Voldemort still didn't want for people to know about his return and the Ministry didn't want to see the fact before their own eyes, so they blamed all the shit happening in the world on Sirius Black, mass murderer, who was now looking bored out of his mind with those not so shocking news. Next, Dumbledore was talking about some missions in progress and all the information he gathered about Voldemort's secret weapon-which were few and not too important. Soon enough, the meeting was over and people started gathering their stuff. Weasley's decided to stay in here for the time being, after Remus' and mine professional persuasion, so they went upstairs to pick their rooms. Some kid Hermione, Harry's other best friend should be coming in two weeks, too.
Speaking of kids, on the meeting I noticed some very interesting things. For example, little Dora wasn't that little anymore. And she was casting too frequent glances at my dear Remus. Once I caught her ogling him and she blushed so madly that her hair started to turn red. I just snickered and winked. It was funny how much destiny could play with us. Right now I was watching her talking to him animatedly while he was listening, answering quietly from time to time and looking at her so tenderly, I almost felt jealous because I hadn't had anyone looking at me like that for a very long time. I remembered six-year-old Dora announcing on more than one occasion that she would marry him when she grew up. I was so caught up with her obvious giddiness that the sudden crash startled me. That crash was actually Sirius suddenly getting up from his chair and drawing his wand out. He looked so furious, I thought he would kill whoever found himself on his way. That awful, insane rage was directed, of course to Snape. I knew about their mutual hate, but I hoped it was controlled after so much time.
''Oh Black, put that wand away before you poke your eye out. It's useless in your hands, like everything else. Just make peace with the fact that you would be more useful dead than alive.'' Snape sneered while his eyes blazed with loathing.
As Sirius lunged at him, Remus realized what was happening and bolted after Sirius.
''Just let me at him! I should finish this piece of shit when we were in our fifth year!'' Sirius was growling with rage and trying to free himself from Remus' grasp.
''No, Sirius! Stop it, now! Snape, it's time for you to leave. Now.'' Remus was also very pissed off. I was praying for him not to join Sirius and kill that creepy sod with his bare hands. Snape just smirked, casually walked to the fireplace and disappeared in green flames. Remus let Sirius from his tight embrace and patted him on the shoulder.
''Don't let him get to you, Pads. He'll use everything he can just to rile you up.'' Remus sighed tiredly as Sirius calmed down a little. Dora and I were standing speechless, still shocked with the incident.
''I just want to beat him into bloody pulp, Moony. Him and his dirty, snivelly nose. Argh! I should just kill him while I have a chance. At least they could finally accuse me for some crime I've actually done, so I could just go to Azkaban like a real, badass psycho and not as a pathetic mistake.'' He said it so casually, as if it was some joke. And Remus started to chuckle. And Dora giggled. And I don't know why, (maybe because I too am insane) I snorted. Now Remus and Dora started to laugh out loud and I joined them. And as I looked up, I saw one worn out, dirty, rugged face looking firstly bewildered, and then giving me one little, almost inexistent and barely visible smirk. Well, that's something new.