A/N: kate3110, I'm glad you understood my new version of Vivian, I was afraid I was making her a little bit more OOC... I'm so relieved that's not the case :D Well yeah, I really tried to portray the situation they are in, the new war coming even if they haven't yet dealt with the old one...

So, here's the next one, enjoy, r&r if you like it or hate it :D

Disclaimer: Everything you recognise is JKR's, the rest is my imagination :D

The dawn finally comes

Even if I was starting to feel depressed, I couldn't quite show it. Nobody else in the Black household knew what had happened a couple of nights ago and I had enough decency not to mention it. Well, I was probably just justifying my lack of courage to say something or do something for that matter, by saying I had decency. Everything was just normal, like it was before the incident, and I was telling myself that that was good, that normal was nice, that there was nothing I could possibly change. And that satisfied new Vivian, the Muggle one. The one that wasn't loud enough, wasn't strong enough, wasn't troublesome enough. And I loathed her, I wanted her to disappear. There wasn't any place for her here, where I could be the old me, the crazy and loud and obnoxious me. I could be cool enough and friendly enough of person that Lily Potter took for a best friend, who James Potter loved almost like a younger sister, who made Sirius Black fall helplessly in love with.

I was trapped in my own skin, in my own little existential crisis while hours inevitably tickled, turning into days and everything was driving me crazy with overthinking…And finally, inner, old Vivian rioted and it felt that I was waiting just for her to wake up.

''Remus Lupin! You tell me now how to find that little elf!'' I just got up one morning after a week, feeling finally ready. I dressed up quickly and ran down the stairs, seeing, as always, Remus and Arthur chatting and Molly making breakfast.

''…Good morning to you too, Viv. Care to explain shouting in the early hours?'' Remus gave me an amused smirk, his honey eyes curiously flicking to mine.

''Nothing much to explain, just one house elf to get killed.'' I smirked viciously and Arthur raised his brows, with the smile which was saying he didn't quite catch what I was talking about.

In that moment Molly emerged from the part of the kitchen meant for making food, waving her wand and balancing plates with toasts, sausages, butter and eggs.

''What's with you this morning? You look quite jumpy.'' She smiled at me as she was arranging food on the most reachable places on the table. ''Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. You were pretty sulky for the last couple of days.''

''Well, that passed now, so this is what is left of me. You better get used to it now.'' I grinned devilishly as I saw the looks they were giving me. ''Since no one wants to help me, I'm going on an adventure called find the house elf!'' I snatched one sausage from the table and ran into the hallway, bumping on my way into Ron who was dragging his long legs down the stairs and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

''Oh, sorry Ron! Good morning! Have you seen Kreacher somewhere on your way down?'' Ron was looking like he was sleeping with his eyes opened.

''N-'', yawn, ''-No, sorry. You ought to just give up, who knows where he is.'' He mumbled and smiled good-naturedly at my frustration and restlessness.

''Never mind. Go eat, Molly made some delicious sausages. You better get there before the twins.'' I grinned at his sudden awareness and trotted up the stairs.

''If I was the maniacal house elf who hates people, where would I hide?'' I was mumbling to myself, pacing down the corridor where Sirius' and mine room were. There were also a mysterious R.A.B. room, a library and drawing room. And again, I could hear weird noises coming from the guest room next to the drawing room. Maybe that was Kreacher's room? Maybe he was making noise just to annoy 'mudbloods' and 'blood-traitors'? I carefully slid down the corridor, making extra effort to be quiet while passing Sirius' room, and just when I reached for the door handle-

''Open that door and get yourself killed, you idiot.'' I heard irritated, hoarse growl behind me and recognized it instantly. How could I stand there and not hear him sneaking around?

''What, you're going to kill me because I'm trying to get into the damn room?'' I retorted quickly, trying not to sound so pissy and sulky. Also, I was trying to control my voice from nervous cracking. No one knows what's in this guy's head, after all… No! You can't be afraid, you have to help him!

''No, I wouldn't bother. What's inside will probably kill you.'' I turned around trying to hide annoyance from my face.

''Fine! Where's the house elf?'' I finally got some reaction except mild annoyance and disgust with my bare presence. He looked firstly surprised, then his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

''What do you want from him?'' He asked warily.

''He promised not to…'' I started to explain but then I realized I was giving way too much information about possibly missing alcohol to a possible alcoholic. ''Never you mind that, just call him, he'll have to obey you.''

But alas, Sirius may have been living through hell and back, and he may have lost his sanity a little, but he was still smart. Barking mad, but smart.

''He promised not to bring me any booze?'' He tried to sound casual, I could see it, but slightly alarming undertone of his voice and flick of anger in his eyes gave him away. ''Well, good for you, he didn't want to bring me any more than I already had. You reached a whole new level of insufferable. It's because of you, isn't it, you idiot woman?'' Now he stopped trying to mask his disgust. If someone saw us right then, they would think I had betrayed Sirius in the worst possible way, judging by his reaction.

''Does it even matter if it was me? If it wasn't me, nobody would do anything!'' I was annoyed with myself now. Why did I have the urge to justify whatever I was doing to help him? I was helping, after all. It had to be a good thing.

''Why do you think I need saving?! I don't need you, I don't want you here, I lived before you came along and I will keep living without your nagging and all this idiocy!'' Sirius barked in that famous I'm-better-than-you-but-you're-pissing-me-off sort of way. He was trying to be smug and not to reach 'down on my level' but I was poking him in the eye, for the lack of better comparison.

''You'll die from liver cancer before you even admit I was right! Stop acting like a goddamn child, Black! Can you just open you eyes, you know, just this much,'' I put my thumb and my index finger to almost touching distance, ''and just try to look at this from mature point of view?!'' I was yelling now, maybe even with the same fury as his.

''What do you want, White?! What do you expect?! Did I ever get the chance to even be mature, when half of my life is rotten and-'' It slipped. I could see on his face that he didn't want to share that with me and all of my anger vanished, with all the traces of offence and irritancy. He suddenly grew quiet, gazing directly into my eyes with the exact same expression I saw on the stairs when we met for the first time after a decade, just when I said his name. His expression was so hollow and haunted, so much tortured and angry with life that it was barely human. His eyes weren't human, for sure. Too scared of something, too furious, too empty.

''Can you at least try?'' I barely finished my little plea when he cut me off, annoyed once more.

''Just sod off! Leave me alone, for fuck's sake!'' He spat, once again looking at me like I was something lower than him. I stepped closer to him, making disgusted face as my eyes trailed on his form. I sniffed around him and made a grimace. I was acting like a bitch, but desperate times called for desperate measures. If he didn't want me nice, he will get me at my full bitchy mode.

''Charming. Such a good influence on Harry. It's August, you know. He'll be here in a couple of weeks. He'll be delighted to see you like this, believe me.'' I said it haughtily, probably looking like some pureblood, spoiled, arrogant jerk and putting my best blank, cold mask on, even if I could feel sour taste in my mouth after I said those words. I have just kicked him where it hurt and I could see it on his face. He wasn't furious anymore. He looked confused, then humiliated, and finally, defeated. I regretted the existence of my own big tongue realizing I may have fucked up situation even more now, but I had to push it to the end, now when I got so far. He just ducked his head, and avoiding my cold stare turned around and quickly, almost clumsily retreated to his room and slammed the door shut. The slam of the door was so loud that I thought it was just one more fast beat of my heart, which could be heard in my ears and felt in every little cell of my body. I may have just ruined every chance for this man to ever talk to me again.

After dodging many awkward questions about yelling on the first floor and trying to behave normally and not worry myself sick with Sirius, my attention finally snapped to something new-we had the Order meeting very soon.

Three days later, exactly an hour before the meeting, one miracle happened, the first of many in the future. I was sitting at the table with Remus, Tonks, Molly, Arthur and Bill, discussing some possibilities of Voldemort publicly declaring his comeback early. Arthur and Remus took the discussion pretty seriously and started to show off their knowledge of politics and I was trying to follow them, but something else was more interesting. As Remus was having some meaningful monologue about Death Eaters among werewolves, talking in his quiet, pleasant voice, but yet with the sharp and almost ferocious edge in it, I noticed Tonks' gaze on him. He was so caught up in his little rant that he didn't even notice her, like most of the time. I was feeling sorry for the girl, really. She was just so cool, outgoing and nice that she would certainly make his life better, but Remus didn't seem so interested. And the saddest part was, I was catching her looking secretly at him like that, like he was the best thing that ever happened to this world more and more often. She didn't even do it on purpose, it was like whenever he was talking or moving she would just zone out. The worst times were, probably, when he would smile at her. She would become all awkward and even clumsier, that I was getting really frustrated with Remus' ignorance. Was he really that stupid, or he was pretending because he didn't fancy her?

Caught up in my little get-Remus-and-Tonks-together fantasy, I was startled with sudden silence in previously loud and lively room. Everyone was looking somewhere behind me, with gobsmacked expressions and varying phases of slack jaws. I assumed someone got into the room (possibly Voldemort himself, judging by their collective state of confusion) and I didn't hear the door opening behind me, so I quickly turned my head to the general direction of the door, almost getting a whiplash at my sudden curious movement, and what I saw justified reactions of my friends, because now I joined them.

There, on the doorway, stood Sirius Black. Technically, there's nothing too much weird with that, since we were all in his kitchen, but his looks made us speechless. Sirius Black, the ever biggest arrogant aristocrat stood on the doorway, probably enjoying a little all the attention we were giving him even if he would rather die than admit it, and he looked clean. He was wearing clean, jet black, thick robe, probably to hide his sick skinniness, his hair was cut and now it was barely reaching his bony shoulders, falling in thick, shaggy, neat strands around his face. His shoulders were slumped with his tattooed, scarred hands deep in his pockets. Just like in old days. His beard was very short, bordering between overgrown stubble and well-kept facial hair, drawing attention from his sunken cheeks, at least a little. He was looking almost like the person I had once known, except from his obvious malnutrition and that notorious, sickening dead look in the eyes.

''Cousin?! You look… Actually good!'' Tonks was the first one to regain her ability of speech. Now, Sirius looked a little sheepish and scowled. If I hadn't known better, I'd think he even blushed a little.

''Padfoot? What brought this sudden…'' Remus waved his arms in Sirius' general direction, looking at him like he was possessed with some monster, ''….change of… This sudden change?!'' Sirius ignored his best friend, and others probably thought he didn't even bother to hear the question, but as he approached the table and his usual place, his eyes quickly flicked to mine. I was still shocked into silence as I barely managed to catch his look, but he quickly turned his head, sat down at the head of the table and casually started to balance on the hind legs of chair. He wasn't looking at anyone in particular, but I knew he could feel our bewildered gazes in his direction. We were still quiet and I saw him trying to ignore us, but he was getting a little annoyed. He drummed his fingers on the table in some leisure, steady rhythm and then he scoffed.

''What?!'' He almost barked but somehow controlled himself so it came out like some kind of deadpan. When he looked at us, staring at him still completely frozen, he rolled his eyes once again and sighed tiredly.

''I don't know any spell to fix my teeth.'', he mumbled and ducked his head, yet again looking utterly uncomfortable with all the obvious attention he was getting, now when his grand entrance was over.

''Oh! Don't worry about that, just let me fix them for you!'' Molly suddenly jumped from her chair and hurried to Sirius, who was a little startled with her sudden eagerness.

''Just try not to…'' But we never heard Sirius' suggestion because now Molly started her work and we could see Sirius' painful grimace. It was almost like Molly was a Muggle dentist, just without all those instruments and uniform. So, that settles why all the magic people I know have so nice teeth.

''...I just remembered something. I'll come back for a sec.'' A sudden thought struck me and I ran from the kitchen, up the stairs and into my room. I had given some money to Remus so he could bring me different kinds of necessary first aid potions a couple of days ago, and I knew I had the one with Vitamins and appetizing effect somewhere in there. When I finally found it, I thumped down the stairs, tripping myself a couple of times and praying to Merlin not to wake up that bitch on the painting. I finally succeeded to come back into the kitchen, carrying a little vial proudly, because I was finally somehow useful in this place. But as soon as Remus saw me, he started shaking his head violently. I got the message and hid the potion in the back pocket of my trousers, with one raised brow. What's so wrong with bringing the potion to Sirius? I was still looking bewildered and Remus caught my expression, so he quickly motioned to the part of the room with counter and hanging cabinets full of ancient crystal and porcelain dishes. We sneaked around Sirius and Molly who was still probably torturing him, if wizarding teeth fixing was nearly as painful as Muggles'.

''What's wrong with me bringing the potion?! It'll help him get a little bit stronger!'' I hissed to Remus, irritated with alarmed looks he was giving me.

''Do you know who are you trying to help, Viv?!'', Remus hissed back impatiently. ''Did you see his face when Molly persuaded him to fix his teeth?! It's not just because he doesn't trust you-and he really doesn't, believe me, it's also because he doesn't want to admit he needs any help! He'll just get angry and go back to his old self!''

I thought for a second about Remus' reprimand. He was right, Sirius would probably freak out, being all paranoid and self-destructive.

''We have to take it slowly. Firstly, we have to persuade him to eat meals with us, and then you can be sneaky little fox and slip that potion into his pumpkin juice, or something.'' I nodded, once again agreeing with him. Remus smiled pleasantly, obviously relieved when I pushed the vial into one of the cabinets in the far left. I just turned around and started to walk back to the eating area when he pulled me by my forearm.

''Viv, I don't know what you did, but you did more for one week than we all have done for a year. Thank you… He'll probably thank you, too, some time later.'' He grinned at my sheepish look. He didn't know the price of Sirius' sudden change of heart… He didn't have to look at the humiliation of the man whose emotions and happiness had been ripped from his soul, again and again for twelve years, easily, like they were the layer of snake's skin. Remus didn't have to feel shame and regret and self-hate while purposefully hurting one tortured man, just because there didn't seem to be any other way. He didn't have to be stressed 24 hours a day for the whole three days, thinking that maybe it got even worse.

So I just smiled with my eyes carefully avoiding Remus' and walked to the table, not aware that I was going to sit there for an hour, barely catching Dumbledore's words while checking almost every minute if Sirius was still present, if he was still normal, if this wasn't some twisted dream of mine where things started to get better. And half way through the meeting, grey eyes met blue. Grey eyes flicked with life, and maybe even a little mischief, just for half of a second. Blue eyes sparkled with their own happiness and pride, and a little bit of shame because they were staring so obviously, and quickly turned to Dumbledore. Blue eyes didn't catch the grey eyes sparkling and the lines forming around them. The lines which were made only by mouth, which were twisted upwards, in the little, almost invisible, but genuine smile. The first real, easy smile in the last twelve years.