chapter six

x

Days into her uncomfortable dreams, Mai was not asleep this time.

She thought she was the most pathetic person who ever lived already, but she outdid herself this time. Her life was frustrating and boring. She lay in bed in discomfort, unable to sleep as the only thing in her life danced through her head. Those royals would be her life forever, wouldn't they?

All she had in her mind was Azula stabbing her, brushing her fingers against the scars. And Ty Lee attempting to save her. When she touched her own skin she tensed the muscles in her legs.

She never felt as queasy as she did when she found herself preoccupied with the dream she had last night. The fact that her head added more and more to it without her permission.

The hot touch was the kind only an awful person would give herself.

But Mai never claimed to be a good person, did she?

x

Ty Lee said swiftly and very nervously, "Have you… have you done it before because you're making a really big deal of it and…"

"Lots of times. A thousand times," Azula said to Ty Lee, highly disapproving of this midnight interrogation. "All the time."

They were on Azula's bedroom floor, surrounded by candles. Azula had lit a million of them but the room still felt dim without the sunlight. Ty Lee should have been in her own bedroom, but she was with Azula.

Ty Lee thought Azula's invitation was to have sex. She was very wrong about that. Azula must have just been lonely or uncomfortable or still having the nightmares Ty Lee wished she could make go away.

Azula was relatively aghast when she

"You're usually a way better liar than that," Ty Lee whispered, bowing her head slightly as a sign of submission. She should not say it, but she wanted Azula to know she can be honest with her.

"Fine. It isn't as if I had much opportunity."

Ty Lee smiled. "We did."

"But we didn't, and we won't." Azula sounded very confident about that. The kind of confident that just makes people nod and wholly trust her.

Which was sad. Ty Lee had hoped there would be some ambiguity to her words.

"Ever?" Ty Lee whispered, feeling like a child scared in the dark.

"Ever," said Azula, her expression unreadable. "You are the last person I want to sleep with."

"Oh," Ty Lee whispered, although she wished Azula would say otherwise. "You're the only person I want to sleep with."

Azula smirked, celebrating a small victory. "My condolences."

Ty Lee turned her attention to the night sky outside of the window. It was a very beautiful, crystal clear night, despite the light pollution from Caldera. She did not know how she could look at Azula when she was so in love with her that no one else would do.

"I should get back to my room."

"Oh, come on." Azula grabbed Ty Lee's wrist and pulled her back down. "You said you want to fix me, or whatever it is everyone has been trying. You are closer to succeeding than anyone else."

"Thank you, princess," Ty Lee said, smiling, hiding that she noticed that Azula was clearly enjoying playing with those who just wanted to help her.

Ty Lee believed she was broken; she saw it in her eyes. She saw that the vacancy was not an act, although Ty Lee did believe it served as a shield.

If Azula was starting to open up, Ty Lee would sit here surrounded by candles with her mind wistful and her face pleasant until the flames of the sun died out.

x

"Zuko," said Mai as she entered the private wing of the palace. "Zuko, I wanted to talk to you."

"Anything about the kidnapping or maybe terrorism?" he asked, although he had a hopeful glint in his eyes. Mai did pity him, but she did not regret her decision.

She did see what she had gotten herself into once she was fishing for words in her mind. This was a horrible idea, but she was there, she was ready, she was going to try this out.

"I actually just wanted to talk to you," Mai lied, because she had no interest in speaking with Zuko. It would tempt her to fall back into a bad habit. "Privately."

They walked to a room that was too open. The fireplace was on and it was too bright.

Mai did know she did not want to go anywhere else. She could not force herself to move her feet if she tried. This would do.

"Are you okay?" asked Zuko, so honorably. Agni, his chivalry was annoying. "I want to help you even if we're not engaged and we both should be seeing other people."

"Who are you seeing?" Mai snapped, startled at her emotions.

It was not jealousy; it was envy.

He should not be allowed to get over their relationship before she did.

"Well, no one. I'm still…" He was still holding onto hope.

Mai approved of that unsaid answer, and so she slipped off her dress and kissed him.

This should erase her problem, shouldn't it?

It could possibly create new ones, but get rid of the dreams that most likely had everything to do with Zuko. It also definitely would answer the question of if Mai still cared about him or not.

He clearly loved her, and that felt good.

x

They were together, half-dressed and in front of the fire.

The silence was beautiful. Mai approved of it, because she had her answer.

Then, of course, before she could collect herself and leave forever, someone gasped behind them. Oh, it was not shock or discomfort. It was girlish excitement and Mai found herself wishing that Azula had been the one to walk in on this.

Ty Lee was the absolute worst person to catch them.

"You guys weren't… were you?" Ty Lee asked, although she knew.

"We were, but I also was leaving," said Mai.

She got up and did not bother finding the rest of her clothes before she left.

Mai got halfway out of the palace before the footsteps caught up to her.

Ty Lee was still training, of course. Mai wished she spent more time honing her ancient battle skills, because maybe then she could have escaped.

Mai slowly turned around to face Ty Lee.

Ty Lee stared at her wordlessly, which did not make it any better.

Mai could just hear the thoughts going through her best friend's head. They were not pleasant to think about. Well, Mai found very little pleasant to think about, but this was a new level of dreadful.

"You're still in love with Zuko. That's good," Ty Lee said, grabbing Mai's shoulders.

Mai stepped back but did not run away. Not yet.

"Two things," she said, holding up two fingers. "The first is that you're old enough to know that people don't have to be in love to have sex. The second is that I thought I was until that encounter and now I know I'm not. He's not right for me. Yet, I keep checking back to see if he is."

"Yeah, but he's always been in love with you." Ty Lee shrugged and smiled.

Mai replied, "You've always been in love with Azula."

"Hey!" Ty Lee yelped.

"I thought that would go over your head. Wow."

Ty Lee huffily explained, "I know she's… not sure about her feelings for me, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have them."

"Right," said Mai.

"Okay, so tell me why you think you're not in love with him."

Mai said honestly, "I would know if I was."

"How? You're not a love expert or anything."

"I know I'm not in love with Zuko, and I'm really just investigating some really weird subconscious messages I've been having. I think I'll just screw a stranger next. That might work."

"What subconscious messages?"

"No."

"I could help! Mai, I'm like a certified dream interpreter."

"Really?"

"Not literally, but basically!"

"Yeah, I still would rather die than tell you or anyone else." That was true.

"Please, please, please. Please. I'll do everything I can to help you and I'm your best friend and I almost died for you so you owe me at least a hint."

"Here's a hint: mind your own business."

"That means you're still in love with Zuko! He'll be so happy!"

Mai swiveled around and barely stopped herself from slapping her ex-best friend. Ty Lee shrieked and jumped despite Mai not even lifting a finger.

"I am not still in love with Zuko, and I had sex with him because I've been having sex dreams about his father. Goodbye."

Mai left quickly, desperate not to give Ty Lee time to react.

x

Azula asked in the morning, "Ty Lee, what are you hiding?"

They were sitting at the breakfast table Ty Lee had set up in the sunlight. The princess was starting to play along and Ty Lee was thrilled. Zuko approved, but he probably did not notice this morning, because Ty Lee knew he was probably pining over Mai.

That girl could not keep breaking his heart.

Like Azula really should not keep breaking Ty Lee's heart, but she knew what she was getting into when she first fell for the princess.

"Nothing," Ty Lee croaked.

Azula narrowed her eyes. "What are you hiding?"

"It's not my secret," Ty Lee said, sweating.

Azula repeated, this time with more fervor, "What are you hiding?"

"Really, you don't want to know it. I swear, it's like the last thing you want to know, princess."

Softly now, which was the scariest level of Azula's voice, "What are you hiding?"

This time made Ty Lee feel compelled to do something awful.

She said, "Mai had sex with Zuko and I caught them and I thought they were in love with each other, but they're not. Well, he's in love with her, but she's not in love with him, and I think she's in love with your father."

Azula grimaced. "You were right. I did not want to know any of that. How would she be in love with my father?"

Ty Lee tapped the table and corrected herself. "Okay, well not in love with him, but I think she's in love with him, because you so don't have sex dreams about people every night if you're not in love with them."

"Two things," said Azula, holding up to fingers. "The first is that you don't have to be in love with someone to have sex dreams about them. The second is that I have no idea why you would think it is appropriate to share that."

"Just with you or like in general?"

"Both."

They met eyes.

Azula left breakfast.

Ty Lee thought she might have made a mistake.

But it was really Mai's mistake, when Ty Lee thought about it.

x

Zuko was stunned when he saw his sister. He was just taking a break, and now she was standing in front of him. The Fire Lord prepared himself to fend her off.

But she just said, "Why would you ever sleep with Mai?"

"Well, I know you don't like her, for a good reason, but I really do."

"That is not what I meant," said Azula, crossing her arms. This was the first real conversation they had for a very long time. Zuko did not like the topic, but he would try. "I meant why would you be stupid enough to just let her toy with you like that? She turned down your engagement, and broke up with you more than once."

"Why do you care about my best interests?" Zuko asked, squinting. "Not that I don't want you to care, but—"

"I could not care less about your best interests." Azula crossed her arms. He was impossible. "I just hate her and Ty Lee told me that she was just using you for her own ends."

"Coming from you, I don't think—"

"I understand my hypocrisy. I merely wanted to inform you that she was just trying to sort out her feelings for our father." Azula smirked at his horrified expression. "That's all. Don't get her pregnant if she comes back again."

Azula walked away.

She thought she hated the news Ty Lee gave her, but it was the best she had received in a long time.

Azula forgot how fun it was to play with Zuko and Mai's lives.