A/N: Firstly, I'm so, so sorry for missing one week with updating, but I had a hell of a time with school and studying for college. I'll try to update the next one as soon as possible, since I know exactly what to write :)

kate3110, I think you'll love this one... There's not much Sirius, but it has a hell of a fight and I don't know if I was any good with writing it, because action scenes aren't quite my domain. Well, we should hope for the best, shouldn't we? So, if I failed, give me some tip, would you? :D
221authoronbakerst, thank youuu, I hope you'll enjoy this one too. :D

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is JKR's, the rest is my imagination.

Suicide white

It was just too soon, too loud and too…scary. The old clock on my nightstand buzzed obnoxiously, startling me from my barely gathered slumber and I quickly got ready, trying to stifle a sudden urge to throw up. My nerves were making my whole body shudder and I didn't even notice when I thudded down the stairs, in black jeans and some old T-shirt, blindly making my way into the nearly dark kitchen… It was 5am, after all, and sunrise was barely grazing windows of the old quiet house, so naturally, I was surprised to find a little note next to an old dusty mug on the dinner table. It was written in elegant, sharp writing and I recognized it instantly- Dumbledore left me a portkey to the shack, all I had to do was to activate it. So I gathered my little backpack, magically expanded on the inside so I had some food and stuff in it and just when I wanted to activate the portkey, Sirius emerged somewhere behind the counter, holding a mug of something hot and steamy in it, and as he approached a wave of beautiful rich coffee aroma hit my nostrils.

''Why are you up so early?" I asked, hoping that, by some miracle, his good mood didn't leave him yet, even if it was so early.

''Couldn't sleep.'' He shrugged, bringing the mug with him and sitting on his stool.

I eyed his tired face, catching traces of sleep there. I was kind of baffled with his answer, but I shrugged it off-if he wanted me to know why he was awake, he would have told me.

''Well, I should be off, in about… ten minutes.'' I accepted his answer glancing at the big clock on the wall, then back at carefully blank face of an ex-convict, then to his mug which was sitting innocently in front of him and inviting me with its bitter, tasty smell.

And I wasn't so subtle about it.

Actually, I was looking probably so greedy, that when he brought the mug to his mouth, he caught me eyeing it, so he just sighed and I could see his struggle to keep a straight face. I didn't really understand what was so funny that it brought a glint of mirth in his tired, empty eyes, but then he put the mug back down on the table and pushed it towards me, trying to give me an exasperated look, but instead looking thoroughly amused.

''Drink. You'll need it.'' He said hoarsely and somehow tightly, as if he was trying to keep a bark of laughter from bubbling out.

But I just wasn't used to him laughing, so I shrugged off another strike of weird Black, gratefully accepting the mug without a word.

We were sitting in silence, him being awake Merlin knows why and looking as if he was barely managing not to fall asleep at the table, and me thinking about all possible scenarios for my mission, simultaneously recalling all the instructions I had gotten.

-Find the shack.

-Wait for them quietly.

-Take a look at what protective wards they are casting without getting caught.

-Take a good look at what they are trying to hide without getting caught.

-Don't be seen.

-If in danger, don't say a word.

-Be strong. Be brave. Be clever.

-Be ready to fight if necessary. Be ready to die if necessary.

I was finally calm enough to get up and concentrated enough to realize it was time for me to go on my first official mission. And just when I activated the key and reached for it with my left hand, Sirius stood up, making his way towards me.

''Be careful.'', he said, with a hint of something I could swear I would never hear from him again.Be careful, laced with an honest, pure worry. I barely had the time to give him one weak smile and a nod, when I felt familiar sickening twist in my stomach, my head spinning and colors fading around me, my bones melting and lungs drying out.

Be careful, ringing in my ears and through my body, finally falling onto the cold, dusty street, looking around only to see foggy little houses in a grey village, bathed with the morning dew. I had barely enough time to get up and dust off my trousers, when I heard three different voices, sounding somehow panicked. I recognized them instantly; Irritating, maniacal shriek coming from the petite figure with wild black hair and matching black robe with the other two. Another one was grumbling something slowly, almost sounding a little brain damaged-that would be Dolohov. Yaxley was sounding authoritative and trying to make a peace between two seemingly arguing lunatics. I stopped abruptly on the sight of them, holding my breath and praying for them not to turn around, while tapping myself on the head with my wand and thinking about Disillusionment charm. After initial feeling of something cold dripping from the top of my head, I started making little steps, closing on them but still leaving good twelve feet between us and straining to hear what the hell they were fighting about.

''Don't you dare come near me or I'll kill you, believe me you big troll! You can't touch it, he has given it specifically to me, his closest servant!'' Bellatrix was saying smugly, sneering up at the tall, grumpy Death Eater.

''It's just a fucking ring, you bitch. I just want to see what's a big deal about-'' Dolohov retorted with a glare of his own when a mad witch interrupted him once again.

''Just a ring? Just a ring? Do you think that he doesn't have good enough reason to send us here? Do you really doubt him?'' Bellatrix shrieked, sounding utterly scandalized and stopped to point her wand at Dolohov.

''Bella, enough! We don't have time for this now!'' Yaxley intervened, gripping Lestrange's wrist and pulling her towards their probable destination. For a moment there Bellatrix turned and my breath hitched when I saw familiar mad glint in her eyes, full of hatred and psychopathic rage.

''He'll know about this, Dolohov. Believe me. And he won't be satisfied.'' She said with a sick triumph written on her face, and I glanced at slightly panicked Dolohov, seeing instant regret in his eyes. I could almost read his mind. He shouldn't have whined. They had punished for much less.

They finally continued their little stroll through the village with me right at their heels, hoping for them to break the silence. But they kept quiet and now I was just praying that they wouldn't notice me, or even worse, stumble upon some poor Muggle.

Nothing of the sorts happened by some crazy luck and they finally arrived with their little spy on their destination. I don't know what was I expecting, but barely visible ruin certainly no. I wouldn't give it a second glance if I passed it. Well, maybe that was the thing? Clearly, they wanted to hide the ring for Voldemort, or in better words get rid of it as soon as possible. All of them were looking slightly scared, even the madwoman who survived Merlin knows what, being the second in command for blood-purist army. So, this had to be very, very confidential.

I recast my Disillusionment, just in case, cast some spell Sirius had taught me, which would prevent them to find the traces of my magic and hid behind some nearby bush, in case they were going to search for some unwelcome visitors. And of course, soon enough they were casting some searching wards, but my protection was pretty strong because they couldn't sense me. I was thanking God, Sirius, Merlin or whatever force, feeling the sheen of sweat on the back of my neck, drops of it slipping down my spine and making me shiver.

When they were certain that no one was around, they started to mumble something to each other, pointing to the various holes in the roof and nodding their heads, looking like some sick group of architects. I patted myself on the back mentally for being so cunning to carry around one pair of twins' Extendable Ears, so I quickly took them from my backpack as quietly as I could and threw one end as far as I could from my crouching position.

''We should firstly cover it. Maybe with some branches? Wards won't hold if it's not in the completely closed space.'' Yaxley said and the two other Death Eaters agreed, and while they were simply levitating some branches to cover the roof, I was trying to memorize every movement, every sound and every word they were telling to each other.

Then Bellatrix proceeded to unlock the shack with the old set of keys (I was feeling slightly uncomfortable thinking what would happen if she tried to open it magically, seeing it was Voldemort's special place for special ring), and got inside, slightly coughing, probably from the stale air. I was feeling utterly useless standing there and watching them doing something really important, even if I couldn't understand why, but I knew if I tried to do anything, I would end up dead in this middle of nowhere before I had the time to send a single hex.

When Bellatrix got out of there an hour or so later, they started levitating some branches yet again, to secure the roof or something. This sitting on the one place for hours, not daring to move or breathe deeply was so tiring, but frightening because I was feeling like they could see me any moment now and it wasn't any easier listening to them talking how many people they tortured or murdered in the last couple of days. It was mostly Muggles, of course, or some witches or wizards who were not important enough, so Prophet could easily cover up their deaths. I almost scoffed, hating stupid society and naïve people.

Two nights passed. It was the third morning. I was sore everywhere and in a constant state of hunger because I could move only at night if I wanted to stay alive, and only if the one on the watch went to pee or something, while the other two slept. In that rich time of couple of minutes I would manage to drink some water and take a bite of a sandwich I prepared for myself (I know, I was behaving like I would go on some real, Muggle scouting) and that would be it. Not a second of sleep, not a minute of relief. On the third morning, I was just hoping they could finish the stupid ward casting or just find me and kill me, I was that desperate.

On that third day, my concentration kept breaking and I could barely memorize all the spells they were casting, apparently on the last layer of protection and I was barely conscious to remember to re-cast Disillusionment.

They were finishing up. Not quite done, but close, they were looking maybe even more exhausted than I was feeling, even if they had at least some sleep. After all, they were casting some seriously heavy spells and I was almost admiring them for their strength.

But then I moved. I moved only a little and something cracked under my left foot and I knew I was screwed. Yaxley was close to my bush and he could hear it, ever the alert one of three. He quickly turned and I stopped breathing, not even daring to blink, seeing him looking right through me. Oh God, please no, please, please, please-

''C'mere Bella, someone's in here.'' He said silkily, but a little strained edge in voice, probably trying to hide his own alarm. He realized the danger- If someone, anyone knew about this, they would-

Lestrange and Dolohov rushed next to him. They were all looking straight through me with their eyes wide, and I could hear drumming in my head. My brain was completely frozen with my body and I realized the only way to get out was to apparate. But for that I would need to move and that would mean more noise. They would certainly know someone was here. But if I stayed any longer, they would reveal me, that was sure. So I took a deep breath and turned around, shuffling through the leaves and grass, concentrating with the last ounce of energy on the sight of Grimmauld Place's front door.

Nothing happened.

Looks like they were more clever than me, casting anti-apparating spell while I was debating with myself in a middle of a nervous breakdown. Then it all happened quickly, all three of them cast some revealing spells, only Dolohov aiming well and I was horrified. Drumming in my head increased, with some crazy instinct for survival. I glanced at their confused faces, using their momentary shock to start running.

They were quick in their snapping out of shock and I could sense them running after me, with Dolohov shouting, ''Who the fuck is this?'' and Yaxley and Bellatrix shooting curse after curse. I don't know what was happening around me for certain; it all seemed blurred for me with my jump of adrenalin and utter exhaustion taking over. From time to time I would turn around and shoot whatever hex came to me in the moment, but my aim was miserable since I was trying to break the boundary of their non-apparating spell.

When I saw a green curse missing me for just an inch, I was positively frightened. Run, don't stop, run, don't stop, c'mon-

They hit me. I could feel invisible ropes binding me and I fell on the street with a sick sound of my ankle cracking. The pain of broken bone shot through my body which was before that feeling limp from the lack of energy and I think that I let some pitiful whimper, because I heard Bellatrix giggle while approaching.

''Are you lost, little girl? Do you need some help? We can help you if you tell us who you are. We can kill you five minutes later, you know.'' Bellatrix taunted with sickly sweet voice and horrifying rage flooded me, almost numbing the pain from broken angle and invisible ropes digging into my flesh. I was stubbornly glaring up at her, realizing with pathetic moment of weakness that that would be the last face I would see in my life. Pity, she was an ugly bitch.

''Don't want to talk? But you have to, sweetie. I'll make sure of that.'' She kept taunting and then the worst happened. Something I was afraid of more than of dying.

''Crucio!'' Every single muscle in my body, no, every single nerve of my body was ripping and breaking through my skin, which was burning like I was lightened on fire. I knew I was screaming, I could feel my voice cracking and scratching my throat, but I couldn't stop. I knew I was crying, I could feel the tear tearing at my skin as if the real drop of hot, molten lava was rolling down my cheek, but I couldn't stop that either.

One eternity later, it stopped.

''Be kind and introduce yourself, or I should teach you another lesson?'' Lestrange purred and I kept my mouth shut, the drumming in my head growing unbearable while I was struggling to take ragged breaths, my body twitching in the aftermath of the Unforgivable.

''Still nothing? You're the stubborn one… Well, more fun for me then!'' I just couldn't fight it. It was inevitable, I was going to be dead in the hour from now.

She cast a slicing spell now and I felt a dozen of invisible knives cutting me on my right leg, the one with the broken angle, on my right cheek, and on my left arm, slicing the sleeve of my shirt in the process, and I was almost glad. It was almost bearable, comparing to the Cruciatus. Now I felt my own blood slowly making little rivers down my body and felt almost content, hoping to just bleed to death. It wasn't even that scary, when I think about it-

''What's that?'' Bellatrix shrieked and pulled my sleeveless left arm roughly, looking at my uncovered scar which was made by her about a decade ago. Oh Merlin, no.

I would usually keep it hidden or cover it up with a pretty useful spell, but I totally forgot about it on this mission. And she was about to remember me. And I was about to put the whole Order in danger. And I don't know how, but with that knowledge came another wave of adrenalin and will to live- I had to warn them, I had to-

''You're my little cousin's mudblood slut! I remember you! What was it…'' She was squinting, trying to recall my name and looking curiously at her companions, probably hoping they would know the answer. And in their little dilemma, I felt it. The little ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. The binding spell was wearing off.

I smiled, with my mouth fool of my own blood, probably from when I was biting on my lip to ease the pain from Cruciatus. They didn't even notice it, still pondering in their little dilemma.

Then, it was yet again blurred and quick and all at once. I got up, somehow quickly even if beaten up. I disarmed Dolohov and when his wand flew into my hand, I stunned Yaxley, my adrenalin kicking in and making me move in flashes. Then I stunned Dolohov and pointed two wands at Bellatrix, who was somehow completely shocked, which was confusing me. She was maybe utterly sick, but she was a hell of a duelist.

''Vivian White, pleasure to meet you again.'' I croaked out and sent another hex at her, casting one hateful glare at her shellshocked face and then turning around and closing my eyes.

The next thing I knew, I was on the first step of Grimmauld place, gasping for air and pushing the door weakly.