A/N: Thank you for sticking with me and this story, and if you like it or hate it, please give me some review for motivation! :)

Disclaimer: All you recognise is JKR's, the rest is my imagination.

Friendship is a sacred thing

He tasted like cinnamon and cigarettes, and smelled like familiarity, his hands trailing up my back to my head, leaving warm trails of finally being home. It was everything I needed, I realized then; really, we should've done this way earlier. It was like some dream, or a memory of childhood, of summers and happiness and freedom. Only, freedom was, for the first time laced with safety. His warm lips finally returning my kiss and rough hands trying to be gentle reminded me of a beauty in belonging. It was everything at the same time; hunger and comfort, love and lust, home and adventure, Milky Way and rays of sunshine.

It was forgetting, at least just for a couple of seconds, that we were old and alone, bound to some cause in some war, trying to be heroes, saviors and mature humans in the same time. It was recklessness, but I couldn't fight the feeling that my whole life was leading to this moment. To the moment of healing someone and letting someone heal me.

''Wait, White - Vivian,'' he pulled away and started, but his voice died in his throat. Instead his eyes started to talk and I could se confusion and despair and happiness… Emptiness was nowhere to be found in those stormy depths.

''We should really stop fighting this.'' I said, my voice firm, but my own eyes uncertain.

''Look, I can't… I don't know how to be… I forgot how it was to be…'' He was struggling to explain his own fear, but I understood him completely. He was actually voicing my own swirling thoughts, which were starting to haunt me right after our kiss.

''It's okay. I understand. I even doubt that I can…'' I started, looking down, but he cut me off when he gripped my chin and forced me to look back into his scary eyes.

''Don't you ever doubt yourself, Vivian. Doubt me.'' He whispered slowly, his hot breath mixing with my quickened, and he kissed me this time. It was more demanding and wild than previous kiss, and I had a sudden need to jump him right there in the hallway. When he pulled away again, my head was spinning and I was gripping his forearms desperately to keep my balance.

''No, it's fine. We'll take it slowly. Not like all those years ago. We'll be friends, right?'' I forced myself to calm down and reason with him.

''…What I'm thinking about now, I'm not sure I would be thinking about with a friend.'' He smirked, with his old charm kicking in, and I was trying to be offended, but it really made me all hot and bothered.

''We'll just get to know each other, or catch up or whatever. After all, we have pretty much lots of time in our hands.'' I declared, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. He just nodded and easily pushed past me, like we didn't even have a very important conversation a second ago. I couldn't help but grin and follow him into the kitchen.

That night, he didn't put a silencing charm around his room. And of course he had another nightmare and startled me into running into his room and frantically waking him up. When he blinked sleep away I could see familiar wariness and distrust creeping into his gaze, but it softened as soon as he saw me straddling him and pushing strands of soft hair away from his forehead.

''Hey, hey, it's fine. It's okay. I'm here.'' I whispered, only slightly afraid that I would upset him.

''Hey,'' he croaked out, his raspy voice making me shiver.

''Will you let me stay a little?'' I was fucking straddling him, in a very compromising position hence I was wearing my short nightdress, and I still managed to ask him shyly.

''Okay.'' It was enough for me to lay beside him and take his hand. He moved to a more comfortable position, half-sitting, with his head resting on the headboard. Only then, when I got comfortable and took a good look at him, I noticed that he was clad in some old sweats, while his torso was completely naked and uncovered. I gulped, shamelessly ogling his lean body and pondering how the hell he could look so good, after all the tortures his mind and body went through. With the help of the lights coming from the now completely bare window and a little light from the cigarette he lightened without me even noticing, I was free to memorize and absorb all of him before me. All those inky patterns and lines, sketches and symbols I didn't understand. Old and new wounds.

''You broke the rule.'' I rolled myself to get closer to him, my face standing inches from his lean abdomen.

''I what?'' I looked up and saw him smirking down at me, with the cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth. It was the understatement that in that little moment, I wanted him to devour me, for the lack of better phrase.

I cleared my suddenly very dry throat and got a smirk of my own.

''You know, the rule. Tattoo next to the scar. I don't see that much scars. What do these even mean?'' I traced one of the runes on his chest with slight curiosity.

''Let's say those are for… internal scars.'' He said with that sleepy voice and when I looked up at him again, now with serious expression, he gave me one sad smile and my heart broke a little, for the thousandth time.

''When we were on Hogwarts, I was fascinated with Ancient Runes… At times.'' He grinned slightly and I concentrated on his every word, happy that he would say more than one sentence.

''I never took them but Lily did, so I would nick her book from time to time. So once I had read about some runes which were used by Egyptian wizards, to help them save their spirits when they were to go to the war or face with something equally traumatic. Then, I laughed about it… But a couple of years later, there I was, alone and on the way to madness. It sounded like a good thing to do.''

I slowly looked down from his face to the runes on his chest and started to kiss them, one by one, not even realizing how erotic that must have looked, until I heard his breath hitching.

''What are you doing?'' I could hear his voice rasping and I couldn't ignore the feeling of slight pride swelling in me.

''Thanking them for doing a good job.'' I smiled and started to kiss a way up, leaving trails on his collar bone, shoulder, neck, jaw line, cheek and nose, purposefully missing his slightly quirked lips.

I looked into his eyes, inches away from his face, only to see them hooded and slightly darker and he subconsciously took one strand of my hair and twiddled it around his finger. He did that with his left hand, raising it slightly for better access. His left hand, which he would hide all the time if it was bare from wrist upwards. And in that moment, I realized why.

On his left forearm, right over that old, deep scar, the same as mine, where it was proudly cut 'Toujous pur'', I could clearly see one tattoo, big enough to cover the writing. It was a tattoo of a little squirrel. Squirrel, as my Patronus before I had met him.

I grabbed his arm, not at all tenderly and abruptly sat up. I startled him with sudden movement so the cigarette slipped from between his lips, falling down onto the finally clean white sheets.

''Fuck, Vivian!'' He exclaimed and tried to snatch his hand back to his range of control, but I didn't let him, touching the tattoo completely mesmerized. He picked up the cigarette with his right hand, threw it into the ashtray and turned back to watching me.

''You mean git.'' I gritted out and he looked at me completely bewildered.

''Excuse me?''

''You want to tell me that this'', I shoved his own limp arm dangerously close to his face, ''was here all along, and you didn't want to show it to me so you wouldn't look like you, god forbid, cared?!''

''…Er…yes?''

''You idiot!'' I yelled and let go of his hand, hitting him with my own in the ribs. ''How long is it here? Why am I on your forearm?!''

''Because you left something with you when we broke up. Because there was always something, and I knew it wouldn't go away, so I just inked you here, a couple of months after we broke up.'' He raised his voice slightly to try and match my own, but it was bothering him to put an effort.

''You mean… All these years, I was the only one?'' I asked, half alarmed, half confused.

''No, of course not. Well… Kind of. You were the only one here'', he waved indefinitely around his chest, probably going for the heart, ''and here.'' Now he waved around his head and shrugged, as if declaring undying love wasn't a big deal at all.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, trying not to look to sappy, even if I was conflicted between jumping around the room from the joy and weeping like some pathetic child.

''C'mon, I'm here now. You can sleep. You're not alone.'' I whispered and felt the words betraying me on 'alone'.

He gave me one of those rare, soft and sincere smiles, kissed my forehead with his scratchy stubble making me chuckle, and got down onto the bed, hugging me desperately. With my head right on his warm, simultaneously soft and hard chest, I fell asleep listening to the lullaby of his heartbeat and realizing that I could never, ever, be closer to another human being than in that moment. And finally, I was completely, utterly happy.

Weak rays of sunshine woke me up the next morning, not like in previous, rainy days and weeks. I felt warm body behind me, with an arm draped around my torso, tattooed fingers feeling like they would burn me. His scent was surrounding me and I cherished it. His hot breath was fanning fine hairs on my neck and his legs were tangled with mine. He was so alive and warm and soft and hard… Then I felt something hard poking me in my precious behind and I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing…or moaning, for that matter.

I wiggled a little to get more comfortable, when his arm tightened around me and I could hear a deep groan in my ear.

''Vivian, stop that.'' I could hear his scratchy baritone and smiled mischievously.

''What?'' I countered with my own hoarse morning voice when he groaned again.

''If you still think it's too soon for anything to happen, for the love of god-'', he started, then quickly shot up in the bed, like he was burned.

''What?'' I said again, only now slightly panicked.

''I woke up with- I, I mean,'' he started and then smiled gleefully.

''With that thing that happens to every man alive, congratulations.'' I said dryly, but he was still unreasonably cheerful.

''No, you see, I haven't even thought about women for a very long time, so even this… natural thing stopped happening.'' He mumbled and looked down, his mood darkening a little.

''Oh. Well, that's a very, very good thing.'' I really didn't know how to give him back his momentarily inexistent ego, so I did what any woman with a really good looking, half-hard man would do. I crawled up to him and kissed him so passionately that I was out of breath even before it started.

He groaned again in frustration and I could sense something snapping in him when he pinned me to bed and started trailing soft kisses down my throat. I started gasping, that familiar fire in the depths of my stomach slowly expanding through my whole body. My hands found his hair and his were busy trailing my sides and the feel of them even through my satin nightdress was really exquisite. He didn't even bother to take it off me; his lips were now on my breasts, sucking on my nipples through the thin fabric, while his hand was sneakily creeping under it, feeling my moist womanhood through my knickers. I was moaning for real now, all conscious thoughts completely abandoning me.

''Sirius - Oh, Merlin, Sirius, we shouldn't-'' but then he looked at me with those eyes full of lust, slightly pink cheeks and hair disheveled by my own hands, and effectively shut me up.

''Fuck that, we're not children.'' He croaked out right when my hands came down his torso, trying to strip him out of his nightwear. He dropped his head to kiss me again and grinded against me, getting me tingly everywhere and helping me a lot with the decision.

I moaned into his mouth and raised my body to be impossibly closer to him and felt him harden a bit more, and he let out a soft growl, when-

''Padfoot, you better be alive and sober in there!'', could be heard somewhere from the stairs, in the voice of his only remaining best friend.

''Oh, for fuck's sake.'' Sirius cursed quietly and closed his eyes to steady his breathing.

''Go, talk to him.'' I whispered and Sirius scoffed, rolling away from me and making me smile wryly.

He opened the door roughly, casting me one last hungry look and reminding me of what a mess I must have been looking like.

''Oh, there you are. Did Vivian stop by? We told her to send a word, but she didn't, so we're kind of worried.'' I cringed at my own irresponsibility.

''Yeah, she's fine. We made up.'' Sirius said in clipped voice.

''Oh, that's great! You look… shagged. How did you make up?'' I could sense snicker in Remus' voice and Sirius turned to me. I frantically shook my head for him not to say a word, when I saw some movement behind the doorway and Sirius frantically stepping outside and closing the door.

''That's because I was sleeping, you tosser. I'll be down there in a minute.'' I could hear Sirius barking at his friend and the latter snickering madly.

We came down shortly after, agreeing that we were still in some friendship limbo even after that morning's little mishap, only to see Remus and Tonks sitting around the table and drinking tea.

''And what happened to you two?'' Tonks asked with a smirk scarily similar to Sirius'.

''Nothing, we made up.'' I said shortly and sat next to her.

''So, are you together or what?'' Tonks pressed and I rolled my eyes, trying to mask discomfort and weirdness that the thought of actually belonging to someone was making in my stomach.

Silence is a treasure. Sirius was wisely sticking to that.

''Uh, not really- I mean, we're friends.'' I managed out and Tonks gave me one of her knowing looks.

''Sirius, tell your friend to hide that hickey you left her, next time she decides to lie.'' She smiled viciously.

It was the understatement to tell that the silence that followed next was unpleasant one.