A/N: kate3110 hi! You have no idea how glad I am to see your review! You literally made my day :D Congratulations on your success in Geology, we're managing well with this college crap, aren't we? By the way, I'm surprising even myself with the flow of this story, but what to do... I hope you'll enjoy until the end! :D

221authoronbakerst, thank you for your support and kindness, I really appreciate it! :D

Disclaimer: All you recognise is JKR's, the rest is my imagination.

The lovers

"Vivian? Vivian White?'' I heard some unknown voice behind me and carefully turned around. By the way, it was the Christmas morning and we were visiting Arthur in St. Mungo's. I spent a couple of minutes in his room and then left to wait in the hallway, so the kids and Molly could give a poor man some family time for the holiday. I was feeling completely uncomfortable and out of place all the way here, but out of respect for Arthur, I couldn't decline going. Everything around me was sterile and white, giving me that scary vibe and making me aware of copious amounts of pain and death in these rooms. I couldn't wait to go back to Grimmauld and Sirius, even if we were here barely a half of hour.

And right behind me was some healer which I really couldn't recognize so I just smiled politely and nodded.

''I'm Jenna Smithson, Ravenclaw, your year, remember me?'' I smiled now sincerely, meeting my good acquaintance after a very, very long time.

''Jenna! Hi! I'm so glad to see you! How are you doing?''

''Oh I'm great, I'm a healer now, as you can see. And you? I thought you would be working for Ministry as an Auror?'' She was genuinely curious, and even if I wanted to avoid talking about myself, I still had to say something.

''I was an Auror, but I'm… taking a break from everything at the moment. How's stuff in hospital?''

''It's fine, some days are hard, other easy… Classic, really. Today's the hard one, since my shift is on the closed ward.'' She said casually and I lifted one eyebrow.

''On the closed ward?''

''You know, for… special people. It's tough in there, but I'm managing. I'm just on my way there to bring some documents to the receptionist, so if you have nothing to do, you can come with me and we can get some coffee and catch up!''

''…Sure, I guess so.'' I accepted, albeit reluctantly, and followed her through white and grey hallways and waiting rooms, trying not to gape at patients around me. She brought me to that closed ward and left me in some sort of sitting room to wait, grumbling about incompetence of young receptionists. I looked around the neutral, but not so cozy room, only to see one old man sitting in the chair across from mine, looking at me intently, with eyes so black they resembled black holes. He was very thin and had short grey hair and he was sitting slumped, but still. He wasn't moving a single muscle on his body, even his haunted eyes were trained stonily on mine. Only his hands were shaking violently in his lap, making him even creepier than he already was. I didn't know what was wrong with him, but whatever it was, it wasn't looking anything like an ordinary case of lunacy, schizophrenia or whatever. But something dark was radiating off him, giving me goose bumps and I desperately wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I was sitting frozen across a frozen man, freaking out and berating myself for freaking out because of a clearly sick and helpless person.

''So sorry, it's just that stupid little- Oh, I see you've met Jasper.'' Jenna came back to save me, only to see me staring wide-eyed in those empty black eyes.

''What- what's wrong with him?'' I barely managed to croak out when she escorted him back to his room.

''Jasper is our most recent patient. He is released from Azkaban a couple of months ago.'' On the name of infamous prison I jerked, not unlike other people in reaction on Voldemort's name. Seeing my interest, Jenna continued.

''He was fighting very long time ago, alongside Grindelwald. Since he wasn't Grindelwald's important associate, he didn't get a life-long sentence.'' I involuntarily cringed and felt bile rising in my throat. This whole talk about Azkaban made me very sick.

''What you had opportunity to see right now, Vivian, is a man left without any happiness in his life. He had just… shut down. He can't feel, he doesn't want to talk, he barely eats… He doesn't have any relatives or friends left, so there's no one to help him. There's no one who could wake him up from this… state. He'll stay like this until he dies, which I think will be very soon. Shell of a man.'' Jenna said and I looked at her horrified.

''…Shell of a man.'' I echoed quietly, hoarsely, surprising even myself of how close this had hit to home.

''Sorry, Jenna, I have to go. I have some errands to do and I completely forgot. We'll catch up some other time!'' I woke up from my little trance and ran down the hallway, to the apparition point, not even turning around or waiting for Jenna to answer me.

I ran into the house like the madwoman I was, and barged straight into the kitchen, only to see Sirius who was nursing a cup of coffee, looking at me startled.

''What are you doing here this early? Did something happen? Are you okay? Is Harry okay?'' He jumped up and started firing confused questions and I just waved him off, trying to regain my breath.

''Sirius, don't you dare to leave me.'' I said and started towards now completely bewildered man.

''What?''

''Just promise me you'll be here, with me. Can you promise me that?'' Noticing how distressed and on the verge of crying I sounded, he took my hands in his and looked me straight in the eye.

''I promise I'll stay.'' He whispered and I released a breath. Hearing that promise in his warm and deep voice somehow calmed me down, even if it was no guarantee of truth.

''I can't lose you.'' I whispered and gulped, trying to keep tears and too much emotions in check.

''You won't.'' He pecked my nose with his warm, dry and perfect lips and smiled. ''You won't lose me ever again.'' Now, he kissed my right cheek. ''I can't imagine living without you.'' After these words I shuddered and he turned onto my left cheek. ''…or dying without you, for that matter.'' He finished his little speech only millimeters away from my mouth and I could feel his hot breath against my mouth.

I kissed him, pouring all the things I wanted to say to him into that one exchange of breath.

One exchange of breath, one exchange of thousands of pleas, worries and feelings.

It was passionate, but not like in those other times. It was too deep to be taken lightly. It was like our first kiss ever and I had so much different emotions battling inside me, that I didn't know should I laugh or cry. Gleeful and sad simultaneously, it was like a kiss shared by the two who weren't supposed to see each other ever again, and in the same time a kiss between a freshly married couple.

When I pulled away and saw all those emotions reflecting in his now darkened eyes, my resolve snapped.

''Let's go upstairs.'' I said too huskily for my taste and all but ran to his bedroom, pulling him behind me and not waiting for his reply.

When we finally burst through the door of his bedroom, I squinted a little at the lightness of it and saw the snow falling outside, burying this day into its softness.

When I turned around, I saw him staring at me, his soft gaze a little bit roughened up by the hunger I could see written all over his face. He crossed the room into a couple of strides and slanted his mouth against mine and I reached and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair. I moaned into his mouth as his hands slipped under my blouse and ghosted over the flesh of my ribs. He took me to bed, I don't even know how because I was so hypnotized with his scent and caresses. I realized where I was, although blurrily, only when I felt his weight on me. So alive, so warm, so welcome. I touched his muscled back as he shifted to drag his mouth down my neck. My mind was a jumbled mess of feeling and sensation.

''Sirius.'' I panted, drawing some circles on his back while he was marking me with his mouth. Every little nib said that I was his.

''I need you.'' He breathed out, his voice dark and husky.

''You have me.'' I whispered and realized how delightfully true that was.

On my words, he lifted his head and met my lustful gaze. His eyes were liquid steel.

''Do you really mean that?'' He asked, his eyes boring into me and once again looking straight into my soul.

''I do.'' I reached out and touched my hand over his cheek. ''I want this, I want you.''

''Vivian,'' he rasped and I could sense emotion in his voice. ''I'm scarred. I can't promise you happiness.''

''I know. And I still want you.'' I gave him a little smile.

His reaction was instantaneous. His pupils dilated and he kissed me fiercely, plunging his tongue into my mouth and fisting my blouse into his hands. I heard the material rip but couldn't be arsed enough to care. I took care of his shirt next, desperately peeling it off his shoulders and his naked chest against my skin felt glorious. My need to feel more of him had me clawing at my bra and pulling it off of my body with a hard jerk and a few broken clasps. On the sight of my bare chest, Sirius thrust his hips against me, driving his erection against me and making me gasp at the sudden jolt of pleasure.

''More,'' I mumbled against his mouth, reaching between us to pull at his trousers. He pushed himself off of me, kneeling between my legs and watched with an obvious hunger as I quickly pulled my jeans down my legs and threw them somewhere on the floor. Next, I pulled open his zipper and yanked his trousers and pants to mid thigh. I didn't hesitate to reach out and grab his cock, standing thick and proud, and start stroking it gently. Sirius groaned, his head falling back as his hips thrust forward into my hand. I looked up at him as I tightened my grip and watched his mouth open slightly in pleasure.

''Vivian,'' he rasped, his hands reaching out to stop my movement. ''You have to stop.''

He didn't sound like he wanted me to stop but he did pull away from me, just enough to push my shoulders back on to the bed before he reached down and touched me lightly over my knickers, feeling my wetness and arousal.

My legs instinctively fell open and I felt blush rising on my cheeks, with him standing on his knees and eating me with his eyes.

''You're beautiful.'' He said quietly, still touching me, and I pulled him back onto me, feeling desperate need rising within my body.

''Sirius,'' I moaned, ''More!''

Sirius replied by quickly removing the last offending piece of clothing off me and sliding his fingers into my body, wrenching another moan out of me as he pumped them in and out, curling his long fingers up and sending jolts of pleasure through my body. And just when I closed my eyes and felt the beginning of the great peak, he withdrew completely.

''Not yet. I want you to look at me when you come.'' He whispered and I gulped, feeling a desperate need to whimper or cry out in frustration.

I hadn't even noticed that Sirius had moved until his moth was on me again, his tongue dancing with my own on the most arousing way. I felt his cock brush against me and I instinctively lifted my hips, desperately seeking more friction.

''I need you.'' He whispered again.

''Then take me.'' I whispered back.

He didn't hesitate or pause to line himself up with my body. He snapped his hips forward and slid into my throbbing body with ease, causing us both to gasp at the new feeling. I threw my head back into the pillow as I felt him stretch me. It had been a long time but I welcomed the slight burn as Sirius pulled back and thrust into me again, our hips meeting. Holding himself above me on straining arms, the room quickly dissolved into nothing more than the slap of skin, harsh breathing and the pleasure of being intimately connected. There was a tingling under the surface of my skin, building up with every second that our skin touched.

Suddenly, Sirius bent his head and latched his mouth onto my nipple and that electric hum in my skin only intensified. My hands slipped from his shoulders to his hair, threading it through my fingers and scraping my nails against his scalp. Sirius' eyes fell closed and his head fell onto my chest and I could barely hear through my frenzied haze him mumbling, ''Vivian.''

Hearing my name falling from his lips in the midst of passion made me even more hot, and when he increased his rhythm, I could literally hear blood running through my veins and sweet coil of pleasure in my groin as I cried out.

After that, it was all me gasping Moremoremore, turning into Yesyesyes and him still chanting my name like a prayer.

But somehow, in the depths of unbelievable ecstasy and on the right verge of exploding, I realized he didn't stop his little chanting. But, those mutterings against my skin weren't my name anymore, I realized then.

He was kissing the patches of skin on my bosom, collarbones, shoulders, muttering, "I love you. I love you. I love you.''

And when I heard that, my back arched and his head shifted, to look straight into my eyes. My entire body shuddered with physical pleasure as his followed suit, and when I felt those tell tale fireworks rising within me, all I saw was depths of grey. I didn't dare to close my eyes.

I could feel him exploding inside me and his head fell onto my chest again, growling and panting his orgasm away and prolonging my pleasure, making me gasp uncontrollably.

''Sirius, Molly said we need - oh.'' That wasn't my voice. I knew that voice. That was Harry's voice.

Sirius jerked his head and looked at me with wide, horrified eyes, not daring to turn around. I peaked behind his shoulder slowly, only to see equally horrified Harry standing on the doorframe, blushing furiously. He snapped out of it quickly, turned around and ran down the stairs, completely embarrassed.

''Please tell me that this didn't happen.'' Sirius mumbled and fell onto my stomach, crushing me a little, but I still didn't mind.

''You mean, Harry walking in on us in the middle of our orgasm. And by our, I mean his godfather's and some woman's who's here because of a chain of circumstances?'' I answered, trying not to laugh out loud.

He groaned, burying his head in my stomach and nuzzling it with his nose, like a dog he was.

''Oh, don't worry, you just need to talk to him and explain that this is a normal thing. You know, birds and bees.'' I started to laugh for real now and he gave me one unamused look from below.

''I don't want to- Fuck, James, you really had to die on me?!'' Sirius cursed and for the first time mentioned James easily. So he came to peace with that fact. Thank Merlin.

''Oh c'mon, it will be a little awkward, but you'll manage. C'mon, up you go.'' I pushed him off me and started to search for my discarded clothes, feeling giddiness and a sheer satisfaction when I realized how perfect all this was. Except the last part, just after our orgasm, when Harry walked in, that is.

''Right. Wish me luck.'' He said with a little frown on his face after we put our clothes back on and tried to look at least a little presentable.

''Good luck.'' I grinned, and when he was on the doorway I had to add,

''Oh, and, I love you too.'' The smile he gave me then made me fall in love with him all over again.